


Looks Like It's Forever, Love.

by Honey_Rae_Pluto, softnsquishable



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF, Queen (Band)
Genre: Ben Hardy - Freeform, Domestic, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gwilym Lee - Freeform, Implied Mpreg, Implied Sexual Content, Love, M/M, Minor Brian May/Roger Taylor, Mpreg, Mutual Pining, Pregnancy, Slow Burn, Unplanned Pregnancy, joe mazzello - Freeform, rami malek - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:28:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 100,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25111654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Honey_Rae_Pluto/pseuds/Honey_Rae_Pluto, https://archiveofourown.org/users/softnsquishable/pseuds/softnsquishable
Summary: During the filming of Bohemian Rhapsody Gwil finds himself falling for Ben.It's a shame he doesn't remember their drunk shenanigans the first time they met.
Relationships: Ben Hardy/Gwilym Lee
Comments: 48
Kudos: 75





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello dears,
> 
> Start of a new era, this is likely a long one so buckle up. Also please go check out @softnsquishable's profile (especially if you like Rocketman and Taron stuff) for various Queen fics and other fun.
> 
> As ever my tumblr is open for requests and/or questions about this or anything else I've scrawled out. Possibly be doing some bloopers etc if anyone wants.
> 
> with love,  
> Pluto xx

Gwil walked out of the interview with a slight confidence. It had gone alright, he thought.

He still hadn't seen much of the script - they weren’t disclosing much at the moment, and only knew bits and pieces of Brian's personal life, but he tried to get the gist of it, really trying to put across the character he wanted.

In the lobby was the next person, a blond guy, probably in his late twenties looking just as nervous as he had been. "Hey, uh, I think they're getting ready for the next interview." Gwil tried, hoping it would ease the younger man, “They’ve just finished mine.”

Ben had gone it over a million times in his head, trying to pick up the little twitches. He looked up, sort of struck by the tall, quite handsome Welshman (going by the slight lilt in his accent) before him. "Oh… did they, uh, tell you to call the next guy in?" he asked, setting his script aside. "I don't want to leap in on them and ruin my shot before I've got it."

"They just said to tell you to get yourself ready. Someone'll come and fetch you." He grabbed his bag and set it in the chair next to the man, putting his things back in order, "Nervous?"

"Out of my mind." Ben smiled and ran a hand through his hair. "I've only had one other movie roll, nothing nearly as notable as this. This would be… huge. Plus, I mean, Queen rocks."

"You'll be fantastic, I bet. I'm guessing you're going in for Roger," he zipped up his bag, putting his coat on just as an attendant for the interview came in with a clipboard, "I'll see you soon, I hope." He only noticed after they parted ways that he didn't know his name.

"Yeah, good luck." Ben smiled and headed to the back. If he didn't get the bit, he at least hoped that guy did.

***

It took several weeks, obviously, to hear anything back. Ben had given up before he got the call, and then he was over the moon. He had a meeting with the rest of the cast scheduled, and he couldn't have been more thrilled. He could only hope everyone would mesh as he bounced his knee nervously in the back of his Uber. Almost there.

Gwil was late. This was the first time the main cast were meeting, and he was running bloody late. When he finally got into the room - apologising profusely to the bosses and sheepishly finding the first seat he could, he noticed there was only around fifteen people there. He looked across the room for anyone he might recognise. 

No one. 

Wait- did the blond next to him seem familiar? It was the guy from the auditions, he was sure.

"See you made it then." Gwil whispered, smiling slightly.

"Oh yeah. And you did too." Ben grinned and nodded, offering him his hand. "Ben Hardy, but to you I'll be Roger Taylor. You must be Brian. You've definitely got the height." Ben didn't deny his heart fluttering a little bit at that. It was him. He'd been thinking about the guy for weeks, he just kept popping up… and now he was filming a major motion picture with him. Oh God.

"Yeah, I'll be Brian. Gwilym Lee, by the way," he said, accepting the handshake "I guess we'll be spending a lot of time together." Not that he was against the idea, the young man seemed pleasant enough.

"Certainly will." Ben smiled and nodded, sitting back after. 

Gwilym was introduced to the other cast members in turn, then the director and main parts of the crew. The schedule was given out, times and locations, and good nearby accommodations (there were trailers on location they were welcome to, but it was understandable if they wanted something a bit nicer - and it was paid for so no one was arguing). 

There was a collective decision that the cast should try to do some bonding, and Joe; who by now had mentioned being hungry several times; suggested they go out and eat together. Not everyone could stay: Allen and Aaron bailed pretty quickly and Lucy had another appointment, but the band would be able to bond at least.

"So did anyone drive here, or are we all to get, like… an Uber carpool or something?" Ben posed. He certainly didn't drive, and he knew Rami and Joe weren't even from the U.K.

"Yeah no, I got an Uber in," Gwil answered. They had two weeks before filming started and were probably staying in nearby hotels, "I don’t dare drive in this end of London really. We could probably find a coffee shop or something." He'd rather they got on early doors than seem distant on screen, (particularly since they were doing scenes from later on in Queen’s history first).

"I'd be down for that." Ben was on his phone. "I'm bringing up the car. Do you know any places closeby, Gwil?"

"I think there's a place up the street from here," he didn't really know the area, but had rented a flat nearby at one point so had a vague idea of where he was going “Really not that far if we don’t get lost.”.

"Then we can just walk," Joe reasoned.

"Guess that's right." Ben put his phone away, standing up from the table. "C'mon then, lads, let's get bonding."

"So you two know each other then?" Gwil asked Rami. 

"Yeah, from the Pacific. What about you pair, the Brits? You seem to have met before."

"No, we just had a brief encounter at our audition," Ben assured them. "I've only just learned his name today."

"Well that's reassuring, I'm glad I'm not the only one," Joe replied.

"Hopefully we'll be becoming a proper band now, though," Ben mused. "C'mon, if we're to stay up all night watching movies or something, I need coffee."

"True, it feels like we're back at school doing revision in someone's room and get-to-know-me chats." Gwil said, referring to the amount of work they had to do to prepare for the part, and that they had to become comfortable around each other quickly. None of them had played real people before - not to this extent and never with some of them actually being alive to judge their work. “I think it’s just up here - have any of you done much research yet?”

“Too much, I feel like a stalker,” Joe said, peering at the shop - it seemed peaceful enough. “Let’s not talk about work now though. We’re not characters yet.”

Inside the coffee house they managed to find a table for four in a corner away from the window. None of them were super famous - maybe Rami was getting close - but they were all well known enough to try to avoid the public. 

"I guess we should probably find out about each other."

"Let's play two truths and a lie," Ben suggested with a grin. 

"Alright, sounds great." Joe leaned on the table. "You go first." 

"Oh, well then..." Ben thought for a minute. "I was born in Bournemouth, my birthday is July second, my real name isn't Ben Hardy."

"I'll say birthday is the lie," Gwil guessed, he wasn't sure either way. 

"I'm saying the name's the lie," Rami offered smiling - perhaps it would be easier to bond with these people than he thought.

"Well then I have to guess the place." Joe nodded. "Well..?" 

"Rami's right." Ben smiled over at him. "My real name's Ben Jones."

"Okay, I'll go next. I grew up in Birmingham, I'm married and I am originally Welsh." Gwil knew that his accent didn't indicate much either way since he sometimes sounded Brummie other times welsh but mostly clear, so it should be a bit of a challenge. He hid his hands so they could see a ring to make it harder.

"Uh..." Joe tried to sneak a peek at his hand. "Well… I don't really speak… British." 

"Your name is quite Welsh," Ben mused. "Hard to say… but I'm just gonna hope you're not married, Birmingham seems oddly specific."

"So did Bournemouth." Joe crossed his arms. "I think that's it."

"Nah, Ben's right - I'm not married. I did grow up in Birmingham, but didn't get the Brummie accent." He explained.

"Right so I guess it's me now," Rami said, taking a second to think - he'd known Joe a while so it had to be fairly obscure for him not to get, "Okay, so, I speak fluent Arabic, I went to school with Kirsten Dunst, and I have two older sisters."

"Oh geez." Ben shook his head. "Right, uh..." He was trying to figure in his head how old Kirsten Dunst was, but he didn't know Rami's age either. "I'll say… you've lied about your sisters."

"I don't think you speak fluent Arabic," Joe decided “I’ve never heard you speak Arabic. I feel like I would’ve.”

"I'll say Dunst," Gwil said; Rami looked about twelve years old so there was no way they were at the same school.

"Ben's good at this it seems - I have one older sister. And Joe, I'm pretty sure you've heard me speak Arabic," he revealed laughing a little. "You're up Joe."

Joe shook his head. "Alright… let's see… my parents run a dance studio, I have a prop from Jurassic Park in my luggage, I'm the third man in my family named Joe Mazzello."

"I don't think you'd carry around a prop all the time." but then again, Gwil couldn't imagine him as someone who was brought up around dancing either.

"I'm gonna say that your parents… yeah, the parent dancing had to be a lie." 

"Nope, Gwil nailed it. I'm Joe Mazzello the 3rd, and I grew up dancing."

"It's nice to finally see Ben get one wrong," Gwil laughed "Actually, I never asked - where about is everyone staying?"

"I actually live in London," Ben mused. "I'll probably just go round to my flat. Watch a movie, give Frankie some cuddles, all the good stuff." 

"That sounds better than the suite they put me in." Joe crossed his arms.

"Well you're welcome to join, any or all of you, even though I've only got one bed," Ben offered.

"I'm sure we could make do," Rami said. He was in the same hotel as Joe so knew how crappy the rooms were. 

"Only if you're good with it though,"Gwil interrupted, "I don't want to intrude on you or anything. Who's Frankie by the way?" he hoped it wasn't a girlfriend or boyfriend - he wasn't sure why he disliked the idea so much, but he did.

"My dog. Uh… here." Ben showed his phone lockscreen. It was her, presumably asleep on the couch, with the sleeping dog cuddled up to his chest. "She's sort of my best mate," he added, passing the phone around so everyone could get a decent look.

"That's cute," Gwil meant more than just the little puppy - but he wasn't gonna say that. He had one rule in life: don't get involved with work colleagues. 

"So, we heading off?" Rami asked, they’d all gone through their coffees by now.

"Yeah, I'll order us a ride." Ben went into his Uber app, getting an appropriate car. "Should be here in...ten minutes," he mused, going back to taking sips of his caramel latte. 

"Awesome. Band sleepover!" Joe held his phone up. "Smile, guys, we're gonna commemorate on the ‘gram."

They posed for the photo, a comfortable chatter falling across the quartet as they waited for the cab.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The BoRhap cast have some bonding time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always dears, comments and kudos are always treasured, check out @Softnsquishable for her content - I promise it's amazing, and my Tumblr is running little one shot type things with open requests to any story if any one fancies it!

"How much do you guys know about Queen?" Gwil had to admit that as much as he'd inevitably heard of them - he didn't really know that much about the actual members. Meeting Brian was going to be hell unless he started his research.

"Well I've been watching a hell of a lot of interviews, but I'm not sure what that does." Ben shrugged. "I've always loved their music."

"Bohemian Rhapsody was the first song I downloaded on Napster," Joe admitted. "The older I get the more I listen to them."

"Maybe don't mention illegally downloading their music." Gwil joked, knowing that probably no one cared - probably best leave it out though. 

They got into the Uber to head to Ben's flat, an awkward silence falling over them again.

"Have you met Roger yet?" Gwil asked Ben while the other two were caught up with themselves. It was hard to think of a way into their conversation when they already knew eachother.

"No." Ben looked up at him. "The idea really frightens me. Like… I understand the pressure of playing Freddie is incredible, but I have to do it and Roger has to see it, Brian too… it's nerve wracking." Ben hoped Roger would like him. He was going to do his best anyways, and just hope it was good enough.

"I know how you feel," he wanted to elaborate more - but the car pulled up at the flat and they got out. It was hard to explain why he felt like he wanted Ben to get with him. Obviously he wanted all of them to, but it was different with Ben.

Inside the flat it was bright and cosy; quite homely for a new flat, very tidy and still missing a little personal touch (that or Ben was big into minimalism, hard to tell).

"It's a lovely apartment," Rami commented, looking around.It wasn’t long until they heard a bark and some paw steps heading towards them excitedly.

Ben grinned and scooped up the fairly small dog, hugging her and kissing his head. "Hey, Frankie," he cooed sweetly, beaming as the dog licked all over his face. "Alright, alright, easy. Time to say hi to your new friends. Here," He turned to face them. "This is Frankie. She's very mellow, very friendly."

"Hello Frankie," Gwil enthused, adoring the puppy's big floppy ears and stroking his head. The dog seemed to give him a look, as if testing him out for danger, but then just gave his hand a lick. "She's very calm, isn't she?"

"Yeah, she almost never gets zoomies." Ben set him down to investigate the others. "Fridge and kitchen are over there, the room at the end of the hall is the bedroom, left side bathroom, right side closet. Living room is right there, of course, and my Xbox One is connected to the TV, so we got Netflix, Hulu, and whatever else I can pirate online."

They settled in the living room, having piled a bunch of cushions and blankets into the room. Joe and Rami took one of the sofas (they were going through the list of films), leaving Gwil to sit next to Ben on the smaller one. "What film are we watching then, lads?"

"I was thinking we should go avant garde." Joe looked up. "Monsters Inc." 

"Honest?" Ben chuckled a little. "I mean. I'm not opposed."

"I'm happy with that," in fact Gwil loved the film but was kind of scared to come off as too much of a goof. Rami agreed with that assessment and they fell into silence as the opening rolled across the screen.

Ben was quite happy with it. He kept Frankie in his lap, gently petting and rubbing the sleepy dog as she napped and occasionally licked her owner's hand. They'd end up just putting on more Pixar after, he was sure, and after Monsters, they settled on Inside Out. Ben also ordered pizza for them in the meantime. By the beginning of Up! they were all snacking and having a good time… well, aside from the fact that the beginning of Up was pretty depressing. 

Ben couldn't help the lip bite as the couple tried and failed to have any children, and it was only worse when before they could achieve their dreams, the man's wife suddenly died. He tried to rub his eyes subtly, but that paired with the last movie...he was just a bit sensitive.

"God, I'm such a baby," he said softly, shaking his head. "It's a movie made for children."

"Aww," Gwilym slung his arm around the blond's shoulder in a jokey way, "You and me both." he said referring to the red rims around his eyes. He took his arm away after giving Ben a squeeze on the shoulder. Okay - maybe that was a bit of an awkward thing to do. Couldn't he just be human for 5 minutes?

"You guys are pussies," Joe tried to boast, but he was currently using a tissue as well, and stuffing his mouth with pizza. 

"Oh shut it," Ben chuckled softly, smiling at Gwil appreciatively before turning his attention back to the screen. At least that part was over.

Next they put on something lighter - Toy Story. It was getting darker out and everyone seemed to be getting closer to each other; emotionally and physically. While Joe and Rami were leaning against one another, Gwil and Ben ended up almost touching. After the film finished Rami suggested taking a break: no one argued given the slightly sore backs and cramped legs from sitting in the same position for hours. 

"Well, we could hit a couple of pubs if you want." Gwil asked - he wasn't expecting a full blown pub crawl, but it had been a while since he had a good drink with friends.

"Yeah, I'm game," Ben agreed, stretching his legs out before standing up. He carefully set Frankie back on the seat, patting his head. "Keep it warm for us, girl." he instructed, going to grab his jacket, keys and wallet.

The first pub they came to was a local spot, the kind that brews its own beer and has the football on in the corner. They ordered up some pints and headed to a table. "Let's see what the schedule is like then?" Rami scrolled through his phone calendar.

"It's a lot of stuff on location, huh?" Ben nodded. "Looks as if we're starting with... fucking hell, Live Aid? We're filming Live Aid first?"

"It's a test I suppose," Gwil looked at the confused faces staring back at him "Start us off big time so if we don't fit the part they can just replace us without having to reshoot much of it. It's brutal, but we'll manage." He hoped - this was a good set of folks working on it (even if the director seemed a bit fishy) - that no one would leave the production. He hoped even more that he'd be able to keep his own place in the film.

"You really think they could replace us after all this?" Ben asked slowly. God, no. This had already been the longest wait for a callback in his life. He didn't know if he could handle being replaced too well.

"I doubt they picked us if they thought we would mess it up." he knew there was still a possibility of getting fired, but he decided to try to cheer up the younger man.

"I certainly hope so." Ben took a sip of his drink. He liked slightly fruitier drinks himself.

After that, it was a blur. 

They were perhaps driven a little by the shock of the mammoth film ahead, or they hyped eachother up to the extent that the drinks came one after the other. The conversation flowed easily, the four of them bonding flawlessly. They found the were able to get on much better than they imagined. However they also got on with the alcohol much better than they imagined. 

***

Gwil woke up the next morning in a strange sofa in a flat that wasn't his, shirtless, with a dog licking his face. It probably took a moment for him to realize it was Frankie. 

Somehow they'd made it back to Ben's it seemed. Well, it seemed anyways. Joe was asleep under the coffee table. Rami was sitting at the table, seemingly regretting his life. Ben walked out of the back, fully dressed and freshly showered. Maybe something else went on, but it wasn't something he was going to talk about. 

"Bloody hell, you guys are a mess." Ben shook his head, picking up Frankie. "You guys need some medication for that hangover?"

"I need to be sacrificed to the Gods," Gwil croaked, head pounding as he stumbled to get up and ended up on the sofa muscles aching, "Medicine would be nice though." He took the painkillers Ben offered and started sipping on the water that was handed alongside it - all while still sitting on the floor by Joe's head. 

"What's the death toll then?" He asked: who knows what the possible mistakes or accidents that he didn't remember numbered.

"Well… there was some God-awful drunk karaoke… Joe did a few Jello shots, and Rami-" 

"Please don't say it." Rami held his hand up. He knew what he did, probably why he looked like he regretted his entire life. 

Ben just shook his head, smiling softly. "Anyways, uh… yeah. I got all of you back in an Uber, which wasn't a very fun ride, wrestled Joe into laying down, carrying sleeping Rami out of the car, and you sort of just wandered yourself over there to the couch, thank God."

"All in all, not a complete disaster," he decided, still feeling sick.

Joe opened his eyes for a minute to give Gwil a look of mock anger for that claiming, but it was ignored.

"I think we better get some life back into us. Queen songs?” Gwil asked hoping the familiarity with the music might help.

”Kay, but quietly." Joe grunted from under the table, not really moving to get out.

"You've got it." Ben used his phone to connect to a few small speakers around the apartment, keeping it at a moderate volume. He shuffled the spotify playlist, and the first song they got was 'Don't Stop Me Now.' Pretty appropriate for the moment. 

"Anyone want breakfast?" Ben asked from the kitchen, ready to get something for himself.

Rami looked up and nodded his approval - breakfast might help get his life choices in order. He looked over at where Gwil was trying to move the coffee table off of Joe (who had turned onto his front and put his head on his arms). Gwilym had just managed to shift the table far enough so that if the American did jolt up, he wouldn't smack his head on it, "I wouldn't mind something, please."

"Right." Ben looked through the options. "I can do all varieties of eggs, with assorted toast options, bagels, yogurt, granola. I might have cereal… cinnamon something or other. Whatever you guys are up for."

They settled in for some eggs and toast (a plate was put next to Joe who had struggled into a sitting position). Good old-fashioned lover boy came on, the three of them sharing a smile. After a while longer (maybe the watching of Finding Nemo too), Gwil, Rami and Joe piled into a cab to go back to their hotels with a promise of getting in contact with each other between now and the live aid shoot.

"See you later." Ben waved Frankie's paw, watching them go. He sighed softly and stepped back inside, closing the door. They were great people. Last night was great, and he was really looking forward to filming. 

If only he had the nerve to tell his costar that they had sex the night before.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, another chapter here. Usual business, big thanks to my co-creator @softnsquishable for well, co-creating. There's likely gonna be extras starting to show up on my tumblr once we get into the thick of it so watch out for more.
> 
> On a side note, just for some clarification; this started life just over a year ago as a role play - hence why the paragraphs tend to alternate perspective - it's been edited at least twice if not more since though. It happened over about five ish months and we wrote up to about seven years into their future from this point, so there is kids planned and in the works of it all (this might be a two parter I'll see how we feel about it later on).
> 
> To reiterate some of the quieries in the comments, this is not a prequel to Squish's other works, but later on it does become vaguely reminiscent to her story about the highlands (go check it out if you haven't), but it really isn't connected.
> 
> As always folks; comments and kudos are always welcome, as are any questions. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the chapter and I plan to update every six days or so, so look out for that.
> 
> Honey x

Gwil didn't remember anything about their evening after the shots were brought out. He vaguely recalled hugging Ben - wanting to kiss him too. But he had let the thought go, didn't he? Well nothing must've happened or Ben would have mentioned it. So he forgot all about it. The four of them met up a handful of times in the fortnight before filming, but soon they found themselves in the make up chairs dressed for live aid. 

"Should we go over the scene once more?" There was surprisingly little to go over for such a long scene, or rather there was practically no dialogue - they couldn't do much while getting wigs pinned on. He looked over at Ben who looked pale and nervous, they must be meeting Brian and Roger soon.

Ben's hands were nervously running over his thighs, palms definitely sweating. He couldn't help it. What if they didn't like him? What if he was a disappointing representation? What if he said the wrong thing? 

"I think we're as good as we're gonna get," Joe reasoned, looking at himself in the mirror. He pulled a few John faces, just to get in character.

"I suppose," Gwil muttered, having the finishing touches put in the wig for the first time. Even he had to recognise the resemblance now - but meeting the old rockers was going to bloody well kill him. Rami entered with his teeth in (usually the last step in the makeup of an actor, Gwil thought - so it was now or never).

Gwilym looked over at Ben again, offering a small smile "We'll do grand." It sounded more of a question than the reassurance it was supposed to be.

Ben was able to find a smile in return. He was just as nervous, but at least he wasn't in it alone. This was a band. They could do this. 

"Boys, Queen is here." 

Ben perked up a little, giving himself one more mirror check before turning around.

The makeup ladies left before the door opened, they were alone, until two voices could be heard approaching the door. There was a knock, but no one waited for an answer before the two old rock stars walked. Gwilym could feel the tense silence as they were examined.

"I think they'll do nicely, right Roger?"

"Yes, quite. From what I've seen, the boy definitely has my build." That was a joke. Ben was definitely a bit more on the muscular side. Ben kept the nervous smile on his face, shifting his feet a little. They were checking over the others too, quite impressed with Rami it seemed. The real test would be to see them in action.

Both Brian and Roger had to give Joe a double look - he could practically be Deaky if he didn't speak with an accent. Gwil saw his wig being scrutinised by them as well.

Luckily (or unluckily) the director came out to their trailer: "Set’s ready boys" as he got up to leave - falling in step with Ben - he heard Brian and Roger giggle at something and whispering between themselves.

It was almost like they were already in character. Ben was shaking out his hands, because he better not fuck up those drums. He was shifting from foot to foot a little too. Joe was doing some shoulder rolls, Rami was bouncing around and doing pushups. They practically were Queen, and it was pretty surreal.

The rehearsals over the last six weeks had been punishing, but Gwil was glad he knew what he was doing- not that he was in any way ready. He rubbed his hands together (not one to show nerves outwardly). They were only filming the ramp scene (by far the easiest and shortest bit of the shoot). 

"Action" Rami ran on as Gwil gave Ben a tap on the back, before they too had to run on in front of the camera.

They emerged triumphant, just as the footage they’d watched a hundred times. Ben knew that Queen was right there watching, right in the front row, and if he tripped, he'd have probably killed himself then and there. But no, he just smiled and stepped forward, just as they'd been doing for hours and hours on end, day in and day out. It didn't mean they didn't do about a hundred times as they tried to get the perfect shot, from all angles. It wasn't the most exciting thing, but just being able to get that done before the director called their break felt good. A drop of water in an ocean, but progress regardless.

Gwil found his way back to the trailer, it was getting too dark to film more than a few hours after the break so the bulk of the pressure fell away. He went over to Ben: "How're you holding up?" He knew there had been script edits as per Queen's request, and that the amended script would have more content on the inner relationships of the band, but they were still being finalised.

"I'm making it." Ben smiled a little, switching the drumsticks around in his hand a little. "...bloody hot under these wigs though, isn't it? It's like there's a fur pelt on my head." He'd never grown his hair long, that was for sure. Ben preferred it short and natural, as he always wore it.

"You're telling me - I feel like a sodding poodle with this on," he pointed to the mop on his head, which had been cool for the first ten minutes, but had since then just begun to heat up uncomfortably. "It's a funny ol' business." 

At that point the director came over to speak with them. "So we've added some family scenes and a few intimate one's - nothing much because of the rating - but we're shuffled the schedule so we're doing them earlier, okay lads?"

"Right, just send them along and we'll be there." Ben could only imagine that meant him and Gwil. It had to be. He knew how their characters' relationship had been. He'd already known there were a few scenes where he'd be wearing a bump in their first draft, but scenes focused just on the family. That'd be something new.

***

"Looks like you might have a lot with the bump," Gwil flicked through the script in the cafeteria. A few days had passed (they were still on the live aid section, but the backstage shots that were in a studio). "It's a bold move, I kinda like it though." He said to Ben - since they had decided to do an informal read through together.

It was very rare for male pregnancy to be shown in the media, even now that the concept was widespread and recognised. Gwil thought that the subtle touches the film had towards it were good. They weren't in-your-face or sanctimonious, so they would hopefully be well received.

"Yeah." Ben smiled a little. "I do sort of like that there's a scene where me and Freddie basically have a row and my hormones are just boosting it, because I don't wanna play the bloody drum loop. Good thing you're there to hold me back."

Ben wondered how many scenes would make the final cut. They were shooting a good five hours of footage most likely.

Gwil flicked through the script. There were various scenes; most were domestic or about them as a young couple, some about the work-family balance, there was even a small fight scene at a bar. "I don't think the bar fight ever really happened, not to them. I think it's just a way of showing the violence that everyone in that position experienced then."

"Yeah, yikes." Ben chuckled softly. "At least I get to put some bloke out before I'm stunned myself. It'd be a disgrace to my boxing instructor." He'd have to remember his form. "I wonder if they've picked out actors for our children yet."

"Dunno, they must be using around 20 different ones," he had some experience working on sets with young children and knew that one character was usually played by various actors depending on the age (the baby he'd worked with was actually twins swapping around), "They're only really showing the kids born in the 70's."

"Well that's not too many anyways." The movie’s focus was on Freddie anyways. It was the story of Queen, but it was mainly the story of Freddie with it. If they had this many bits, he could only imagine what Rami was working with.

"Ready to become a parent, eh Ben?" He was joking, of course, more referring to how soon the scenes would be. For the most part the scenes would be between the pair of them, the occasional child or band member thrown in. "Looks like we're stuck with each other for a while." He was scared about the happy jolt that he felt when he said those words.

"Guess that's right, isn't it?" Ben smiled and nodded. "I don't think I'll mind that at all. We seem to get along quite well. Pretty good chemistry and all." Ben couldn't imagine how hard and fast his heart would be pounding when he had to kiss the guy on screen. The subtle touches and love to the 'baby bump', the slight kisses to his forehead and temples. He could hardly imagine.

***

Too soon they were called back to set, despite the distraction of the looming script in his head Gwil got to work. They were filming a short scene in a campervan type thing. The director had them sitting practically on each other, Ben's weight making his mind wander into places it shouldn't - they were work friends, nothing more.

Ben was trying not to think about it either. He tried to focus on his lines, and as soon as the director called 'action!' he got into character. "There's no bloody way we're touring in this," he stated, shifting a little. "We can't even all fit in here, let alone breathe." 

"You're not exactly the Beatles yet," the current manager pointed out. "You're lucky you even got a tour here."

Gwilym tried to ignore that Ben had managed to shift his leg directly onto his groin. "What's that supposed to mean? The shows are all sold out." He had managed to keep his voice clear as he acted. He pulled Ben closer, carding his fingers through the wig - it was the early days for the characters.

"Sold shows as a supporting group," the man clarified. "They're not coming to see you boys, they're coming for the headliner, so stop complaining and settle in."

Ben leaned into the touch just slightly, giving Gwil's knee a gentle squeeze in return. It was subtle things at this point, as the manager left them, closing the door and wandering off.

The camera changed to a mid shot of the two of them, alone in the dark trailer, practically clinging to each other. Gwilym followed the script, gently putting his hand on Ben's stomach - a nod towards how Roger had been pregnant while on the road. He hid his face in the blond wig, partly to give the effect of someone who worked for their young family, but also to hide the blush when he felt hard muscles tense under his hand. 

"And cut!" The lights were back on, the set opened up to hundreds of folk running around trying to get the scenes changing quickly. The moment was over.

Ben smiled softly, giving a soft sigh of relief as he slipped off Gwil's lap. He straightened up his shirt, adjusting his jacket and jeans. "Nice job, Gwil, I think you're being quite believable." Ben stretched a little.

"Thanks mate," he stood up, rolling his shoulders as he stepped down off the set, which was becoming a bedroom scene a few meters away. It would take a while to finish (it was the B team shooting this as the A's were doing Rami during the solo years), but they had to get changed and the bump and wig had to be added - and anyway Gwil had something to take care of. He really hadn't meant for it to happen, but the warmth and intimacy were apparently too much. "I'm just nipping to the bathroom, I'll be back in five."

"You got it, babe," Ben said playfully with a wink. He'd honestly tried to push any of those feelings to the back of his mind, but this next bit was gonna be difficult. It was going to be after a Queen show, during Roger's first pregnancy, and it'd be immediately once they get backstage, with an exhausted Roger being tended to by Brian, while fretting over this and that. Ben looked at himself in the mirror, tilting his head as he rested a hand on the prosthetic beneath his shirt. He really did look pregnant, odd. Not what he'd pictured.

Gwil got back, finally ready and in a curtain type shirt. He looked at Ben - it was strange seeing someone as muscular as he was with a delicate (but obvious) bump. 

"Suits you." it wasn't a joke or meant to be funny- the blond did look maternal in the pregnancy prosthetics.

"Oh… uh, thanks." Ben smiled a little, straightening up a bit. "It's got weight to it too, like they want me to be sympathetic or something. A bit ridiculous, huh?" He moved with him over to the set area, which was set up as a crowded, dusty backstage area, complete with a battered sofa, and instrument cases/spare parts. Ben let them spritz his face with water and slightly reddened his cheeks before they started. He dropped onto the sofa, huffing softly and attempting to blow his bangs back, while his hands smoothed over his stomach. 

At that point, Roger and Brian had been trying to hide the pregnancy, not wanting to lose their following or affect the band's rise to success, which meant Roger was wearing bigger and heavier clothing. So Ben was carefully peeling up a thick jacket to his ribs, hands resting on the fabric of a t-shirt underneath, that much more clearly showing the 'bump' as he caught his breath.

Gwil moved forward, kneeling by the sofa, muttering 'I love you's and cooing as he put his hands on the prosthetic. It was strange, in his head he had expected it to be warm, but it was cold and felt like real skin. He felt the camera hover over his shoulder- that was his cue. "Are you okay, Roggie?" he peppered the fake bump, eventually sitting on the edge of the sofa and locking eyes with Ben.

"I think so… mostly." Ben sighed softly, resting his head on his shoulder. "I don't know how we're gonna manage this, the band and tour and… the baby." He looked down, biting his lip. "Soon not even the biggest shirts are gonna hide this, Bri, and when they're born… what are we supposed to say? It's not like we can tell them the truth." Ben's eyes teared on cue as he gazed at his stomach. His hand still gently rubbed at a spot, as if the baby was kicking there, and he couldn't help a quiet sniffle at the horrible things that they were going to think about his baby and him once they came into the light. He'd cried on camera before, it wasn't too difficult, but it was a bit different than what he'd done before. More intimate.

Gwil was taken aback at the intensity of the moment - of course he knew how the scene went - but it was something else like this. "Babe, we'll manage, the tour's nearly over," he pressed his lips to Ben's temple, sliding his hand over his on the belly "Maybe we can just tell them the truth. Maybe that's what Queen is: different, like we’re supposed to break down the walls. If not then..." he paused, contorting his face into a frown as their free hands met in a tight grip "Then, we say you're the father and that the mother left and doesn't want to be known." he said it quietly, it was a bad excuse but one that was known to have been used by carriers around this time.

Ben could only shake his head. He could hardly understand. Two people should be able to just live and love without all these consequences. To Gwil's 'it'll be okay' he could only respond with a soft, "I sure hope so."

Gwil decided to improv. It was something that was allowed on some of the minor scenes that could easily be redone if need be, but he wanted the suddenness of the early relationship and the anxiety of their situation to come through on screen. So where the script said to kiss Roger on the cheek, Gwil gently grabbed Ben's face and put their lips together, hoping this wasn't a boundary being crossed.

Ben was surprised, but kissed back softly, resting a hand on Gwil's. He knew the kiss was staged, but fuck it, Ben liked it too much. He rested their foreheads together after, smiling softly despite the tears still sparkling on his cheeks. "You always know what to do," he said with a soft sort of chuckle, gazing at him lovingly.

He smiled softly, knowing where the scene was going next. A second camera rotated to face the door, which opened revealing Paul. Gwil and Ben shot apart, there was no way to act as if they hadn't just kissed.

"...not a word, Pretner," Ben stated, standing up and giving him a deadly serious glare. He stepped towards him, intimidating him from his shorter stature no less. "Not. A word. Or so help me I'll get your ass fired faster than you can blink, and I'll kill you before you're done kissing Fred goodbye."

"Why, Roger, have you got something to hide?" He squared up to Ben, poking him in the chest and tracing his finger down slowly. 

Before he could reach the bump, Gwil stepped forward - towering over the intruder. "Prenter you have ten fucking seconds to get lost. Is that understood?" he deepened his voice to be more imposing, Brian wasn’t exactly the most threatening, but he could be.

Ben nodded, stepping back a bit. His arm protectively wrapped around his stomach, unable to help himself from shielding the little one. No one was going to hurt him or his baby, no one, and especially not Paul Pretner. His other hand moved to rest on Gwil's lower back, for just a bit of reassurance.

Paul backed off. This scene was just a set up for later on in the film. Gwilym waited until Paul was at the door, giving them a creepy smile; "I do hope no journalist catches wind of any tiny footsteps." Gwil lurched forward, prompting Allen to run out the door. The Welshman felt arms wrap around him and a bump press into his back, leaning into him.

"Let him run," Ben whispered gently against his back. He slipped one of his hands into Gwil's and squeezed it gently. "We'll make this work, Brimi… no matter what."

He turned around to rest his chin on Ben's head, holding him to his body. "Cut there, good work folks." He was a little upset at the sudden loss of warmth - angry at himself for enjoying it in the first place.

Ben smiled and looked up at him again. "Your improvisation was brilliant," Ben added, resting a hand on his hip and nodding along. "It made it all the better and shocking, especially for Allen's bit. Something for us to hold against him later."

"Didn't cross the line or anything, did I?" He hoped not, he didn't want to make any mistakes in this friendship. 

Not that he remembered the drunk mistakes he'd already made.

"No, not at all, don't worry about it." Ben stretched with a little huff. "Now if only I could get a back massage out of you," he added with a soft chuckle, wandering off to get the bump off again.

Gwil smiled in return, making his way out of the set. He went to his trailer, they still had a few scenes to film that day between them while most of the cast was away on other things. He checked his schedule, the fight scene was tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, new chapter out! Hope everyone is enjoying it, love to hear some feedback about the story but no pressure.
> 
> Love,  
> Pluto xx

Ben got himself tidied up and changed. He spent a moment gazing in the mirror, just trying to process. This was a lot, a lot with the man he'd had an unforgettable incident with, that, ironically, the other couldn't even remember.

Gwil knew that the last minute scene would probably be cut out due to the rating. He'd only been told when he reached his trailer that they were doing a sex scene. Sort of: it was more of a heavy make out scene that alluded to sex - it was a film about rockstars after all. He made his way over to Ben's trailer (Gwil had been told to pass the message on).

"Hey, Benny,” he hooked his head around the door, “Apparently we need to have sex so hurry up."

Ben choked a little on his water. Wait, what? No, this was fucking PG-13, they couldn't be… well fucking. No, that was never even gonna make it in. God, was this script DESIGNED to make him uncomfortable. "Uh… right." Ben got himself together, stepping out. "This… they've gotta be joking."

"Kinda, heavy petting but not pure smut," he explained, hitting Ben lightly on the back to help the choking. He handed Ben the short script that they had to learn for it, "Hope you can balance on those drums though." He was messing about a bit, but he reigned in his expression when Ben's reaction was more panicky than jovial.

"Right. I think I can manage." Ben could always pull the excuse he'd used before. The reason he quit Eastenders and turned down several other roles was the objectification of his body. Yes, he stayed fit, but that didn't mean he wanted to engage. Maybe he could just… no, fuck it. He couldn't even give them a chance to shut this project down. 

"Let's do this." he said softly, taking his hand.

Turns out there really wasn't much nudity - it was still a family-friendly film. But there was enough to give the viewers a good idea what was happening. "Do you wanna run lines? Or think you can manage me first time?" He didn't know why he said that like a pick up line, nor why he said it at all.

"I'm pretty sure I got it." It wasn't exactly a complicated scene, as much as he was blushing. Jesus, he had it bad.

"Cool, then. I'll see you there," he suddenly lost all confidence in himself. Hell: he didn't even think Ben was gay. There was no way he could get anywhere other than into an awkward situation at work. He couldn't really afford to lose a role this big.

Ben could… cope. It was really their night together that made this all the more nerve wracking for him. He couldn't ignore the sick twist in his stomach as they walked back onto the set and make up did their final touches.

Gwil's costume was really just what he normally wore in character: flares with an unbuttoned shirt, but the buttons were sewn on loosely so they would go flying if pulled at. He arrived on set, a wet sheen was sprayed in his general direction and the wig was adjusted to look more ruffled.

He looked over at his co-star, this could get bad quickly if he tried to improvise and it didn't work. They were in the flat set, a drum kit and sofa set up for them to go between. The director signalled for quiet on set "Action!" Gwil pinned Ben to the wall, kissing him hungrily as his hands crept under the blond's shirt "Rog," he whispered, panting heavily.

"Brian… Brian someone… someone is gonna see us..." Ben groaned softly, his words coming out in short gasps, between moments in the intense kiss. He hadn't done anything like this on set before, especially not submissively… even if that was the way he preferred it. But he was forcing himself not to really be turned on. He brought every image to mind he could to throw himself off, kittens, his mum, anyone but Gwil. This was an act. He had to keep it that way.

Gwil drew as much of his natural dominance as he could into the roll "Shush Roger, the door's locked, everybody's gone home," they moved onto the drum kit, Gwil practically lifting Ben up as they pressed into each other, "Think you can keep time, Roggie?"

"That's not even a question," Ben replied breathily, gazing up at the older man with lust-filled eyes. He licked his lips a little, eyes trailing down towards Gwil's waist. Oh God....God, he'd seen him pantsless before. He could hardly do this.

"Cut… we have to cut, I'm sorry." Ben held his hand up, carefully sitting up and fanning himself lightly for effect. "I'm a bit dizzy… just, uh… need a minute of air." 

"Take five!" the director called, as Ben dusted himself off and wandered out of the studio. He did feel sick, somewhat dizzy, but it wasn't from a blood rush to his head.

Gwil stayed behind a minute, wanting to give him some space, desperately trying to ignore how he was feeling about it. He let his mind wander for a second during the scene, indulging in an image far too vivid for his imagination. But he had to have imagined it. 

He decided after a while that enough time had passed and headed out the door. "Mate, you alright?"

Ben was leaning on the side of the building, eyes closed and taking deep, slow breaths. He glanced over to Gwil, managing a smile for his sake. Thank God he was an actor. "Yeah… I should be alright." Ben smiled and nodded. "Just got a bit dizzy, being dipped back and panting and all. Overdid it I think."

Gwil was confused as to how someone that clearly did a lot of exercise had lost their breath so easily, but he didn't comment. "I think they're getting tea and coffee in there," they were taking a long break to do a sound test while they could, "You want me to bring you anything?"

"I think I'll be alright, thanks." Ben held up a water bottle he'd taken from the table. "Thank you, though, for checking on me and all. It's nice to have a coworker that cares."

"Anyone would," to be honest he could name a few dozen folk on this film alone that wouldn't. He peered inside the door, the set up was nearly back to standard, "Think they're ready inside."

"Alright… I guess we should get back at it then." Ben walked back in, patting Gwil's shoulder and wandered back onto the set. He set the water bottle aside, not wanting to be the next Game of Thrones Easter egg and leaned on the wall. "Can we maybe try going from the drums?" he asked, thinking he'd fared well to that point.

They started again from the drums, both acting as intensely as they could. It was getting hot on set, since it wasn't a nude scene sweat dripped onto the costumes. 

"Please," Gwil whined, holding Ben as he practically lay him on the drum, "I love you, Ben." 

"Cut!" The director yelled - looking kinda pissed off with everything. 

"What happened there?" Gwil asked, looking around to see what the problem was.

"You said the wrong name."

"Yeah… you called me Ben, instead of Roger." It had sort of shaken Ben a little if he was honest. He wasn't expecting it, not at all. But he supposed it was normal. Still… it brought him back to their evening again. Gwil had said it then as well, in his drunken haze, and Ben hadn't given him an answer. He knew it wasn't real, and he couldn't be in love either. No. It was too soon. But it did make his chest ache.

Fuck fuck fuck.

Fuck.

That wasn't meant to happen. 

"Shit I am so sorry," he was by now a deep shade of puce. They went from the same line again, both of them were well aware of the vein bulging out of the directors forehead. Best not botch up another take. He looked at Ben, still muttering 'Rog' under his breath (consciously this time). Ben looked upset, had something happened? Was the name too far?

This scene was a disaster. Ben took a few breaths to compose himself, before they took again. He tugged Gwil down by his collar, and made everything as real as possible. He couldn't fuck it up, not this time.

He was relieved when "cut!" was called again, but at the appropriate moment. He separated from Gwil, after being assisted to his feet by the other. "Thank God," he said softly, adjusting his bangs. "Uh… do we have anything else today?'

"I don't think so," Gwilym watched as Ben nodded and peeled off the soaked shirt. Flashes of memory struck his mind. Clothes being removed, moaning, nails digging into his back. Was his brain mixing up previous sexual encounters with a short scene in a film? He shook his head, he was tired, it was warm, if Ben was coming down with the flu he'd probably have it too. No, they weren't memories - just the muddlings of a knackered mind.

Ben shook his head, wandering back to his trailer. He definitely needed a shower. For now he dried himself off with a towel, slipping into some regular clothes and taking off his sweaty wig. Ben sat down on the sofa after, rubbing his face gently. What a day. He still couldn't stop thinking about Gwil and about all that had gone on. It made the wheels turn in his head, in ways that he'd rather they would not. But he had a commitment to his job, and that was one he had to fulfill, and would.

Hopefully they’d get to some more group work soon. Ben just wished there was someone, anyone he could talk to. But it was too deep a secret for anyone, so he would suffer in silence. Thinking that way, he headed out to the car park and grabbed his car. Time to go home.

***

The children had been chosen for the roles by the time the group work rolled around. In the end, to save time, they would introduce all the children together in one scene. It was set in a hospital in the mid 80's just after the birth of the youngest (not including the ones born after live aid). The rest of the children were given lines to introduce themselves to their new sibling and thus the audience. Luckily for everyone, Rami and Joe - although they didn't have more than 3 lines between them - were in the scene, so the band was back together again.

Ben didn't mind having a baby in his arms one bit. He was thrilled when they handed him the sleeping infant, cooing at it immediately in a sweet, baby talk tone. "She's such a darling," Ben said sweetly, as he and the baby were propped up in the hospital bed. "I hope this is the start of a long career for you, little bug."

Gwil watched in awe as Ben cooed at the baby, "You're good with kids." He commented. He himself had only really spoken to the older kids and their parents. He found he had gotten along well with one of the single fathers, Martin. Or maybe he was desperate for a distraction from Ben.

"I've worked with a few in my time." Ben adjusted the baby's wrappings gently. "And such a tiny thing. I'm surprised she's allowed on camera away from her Mummy." Ben really did love kids, though. As an only child, he'd only interacted here and there with cousins and things, and a few times on set, but really he did fancy himself as having a few of his own someday. He was more than comfortable as they filmed the scene, quite motherly towards all the littles around him.

Gwil smiled as the scene started, he had the four eldest kids with him, the three year old on his hip, five year old holding his free hand, while the eight and twelve year olds trailed just behind, "Okay kids, carefully now," he set the toddler on the bed, letting the others crowd around. He introduced their baby sister, letting each of them give their names. It was a sweet scene, all smiles and kisses and love.

Ben quite likes it himself. For a moment he just gazed at Gwil, like the script had instructed. Acting though it was, he looked so genuinely happy, proud and at peace, it could've fooled anyone really. That was the close of the scene, he and Gwil's look. 

"Perfect, cut it and print it." the director announced, after some still shots were taken of the 'family'. The kids all said goodbye, scuttling back to their parents, while Ben held onto the baby just a bit longer. He handed her over when her mother arrived, but he'd have shot that scene all day if they'd let him. 

"Right… the fight scene is next, isn't it?" Ben asked, having a bit of coffee.

"Yes, kinda looking forward to that," he saw the single father from before across the room - he needed to distance himself from any feelings he had for Ben, this might do. He excused himself, striding over to the man. 

They talked for five minutes, Gwil couldn't feel the eyes bearing into the back of his head. As he was called away they swapped numbers. He went back to where Ben was, somehow sad that he wasn't the one trying to get close to him. But for all he knew, Ben was a straight man who probably was dominant if he wasn’t.

Ben had gotten his wig and clothing changed, ready for the next scene. He was still relaxing, as the others set up, and he read over the script one more time. He didn't fancy any accidents during this scene, because he had a powerful punch and wasn't sure about the other man. He'd have to work on his fake out.

The scene started, Brian and Roger in a bar, about ten others sitting around as three of the stunt men came in, dressed as the usual motorcycle criminals that had gangs and went looking for fights. 

Their 'leader' walked over, cockney accent thick, "This ain't yer table, pansy boys." 

Gwil sat upright using his height as the bloke continued.

"Budge it, afore I budge you." Neither moved. The man looked back to the guys on his flanks "Looks like they’re mutton-Jeff fannyboys."

Ben glared. "Well I don't think you own the pub, so go find another table. First come first served." His hand was already balling up.

There was more toing and froing before it escalated into a fight. Gwil watched as the man grabbed Ben's shirt, pulling him onto the floor. The other two came up behind him, tugging him off his seat as the main fight started. Although he knew both were well trained and were probably being gentle on each other, something about watching Ben get battered made his blood curdle.

Ben did his best to not quite do his best. He fought back, but with restraint. And he knew when to stumble back, the 'blood' spilling from the corner of his mouth as he slumped against the wall, groaning softly and just trying to stay upright.

Gwil lurched forward, letting the others restraint him onto the floor, "Roger, for god's sake! He's not worth it!" Then a sugar-glass bottle was shattered on his head, making him fumble his wall to the wall.

Ben growled softly and gave one more effort to jump on the guys. He ended up on the floor next to Gwil, out. Both of them were tossed out the back of the bar. Ben was still groaning softly, spitting a bit of the blood out as he attempted to even get to.his hands and knees.

Gwil crawled over to Ben, holding him up and started to drag him away " Roger, c'mon... it's over." He felt the fake blood drip down his forehead. They stumbled out of shot, hearing the director yell 'cut'. "You good? Some of the punches were on the rougher side."

"Yeah, I'm not hurt," Ben assured him, grabbing a tissue and wiping some 'blood' from his face before it could drip down onto his clothes. "And you're alright, right? You had farther to fall, being so tall."

"Haha, hilarious shorty." He pulled the wig off and dusted down the clothes he was wearing. "Joe and Rami are probably kicking around here somewhere."

"You think?" Ben looked himself over. "I hope they knew what we were up to filming, or they'll think there's been a terrible accident here on set today.”

"Oh yeah, they've practically banned Joe from going anywhere near the area," pretty much everyone knew Joe would go in if he wasn't told not to, so they made sure he knew.

Ben laughed softly, shaking his head. "Well I'm glad we got that one over and done with then. Are we doing something less violent now?"

"Meeting scene between Brian, Roger and Freddie. I think we'll be back on location soon with the van." Gqil had looked over the timetable to work out if he could visit his parents, part of the locations were close to their house and there was an odd day he had early morning filming so he could drive across.

"Sounds exciting." Ben rested his hands in his pockets. "You better go change into your Smile wig then. I'm sure our best singer is just dying to meet us."

They got into the back of the open van, Gwil admired the straightened wig on his head, they got given the beer bottles and they started to set up the lines, watching as Rami made his ‘first’ appearance.

Ben had his cigarette in too, just looking disappointed. They'd just lost their singer and all. He and Brian weren't really sure what they'd do next now after all. They couldn't really be a two piece after all.

"Dunno, Rog. Maybe we should just pack it in?" They were talking quietly, Freddie came over to them, offering a smile, trying to get into the band, what was left of it anyway.

Ben was completely skeptical. Yeah… this guy talked a lot. He was sort of a stalker of the band it seemed, knew all about their education and all. But… well, that didn't mean he could sing. Till he did that is. Ben shared a look with Gwil, trying not to appear too impressed, but damn; this big-toothed fanboy was decent. "Can you play bass?" Ben called after him, before the director cut.

Gwil waited around, looking for the reason the director cut the scene: must have been technical. He shared a smile with Rami who was chatting away about his and Joe's time filming their bits and pieces.

"So what's everyone doing tonight?" Rami asked, trying to plan a band meeting.

"Sleeping," Ben joked, shaking his head. He never really had plans after shoots, he just went home to Frankie for dinner and cuddles. Usually they were up pretty early to film anyways, so he didn't mind settling in.

"Sorry, mate. Date tonight." A date with a guy he didn't really like in that way, but a date nonetheless. Truly he just needed a distraction from Ben, he needed to not fall for Ben.

"Oh." Well Ben probably wasn't expecting that. He nodded, though, keeping the same smile on his face. "Well good luck then, mate, tell us all about it tomorrow." 

"Yeah, and make sure you got fresh condoms in your wallet," Joe added. "Trust me, I know people. You can't be too ready."

"It's a first date, I'm not a complete dick. I don't bugger with someone who I barely know," he saw the side glance Ben gave him. God he was beautiful, the lighting had given him an angelic softness. "Rami’s right thought, we need to have another band night"

"Yeah, maybe one that doesn't involve you all being absolutely shattered." Ben put a hand on his hip. "Babysitting you sort of took quite a bit of the fun out of it, and I'm sure it wasn't that fun for you all not even remembering the good times that made you so sick the next morning." 

"Yeah, agreed. I don't need another headache like that." Joe shook his head. "I've never had a hangover that bad, and I don't wanna go there ever again." 

Ben had to admit he did find Gwil's comment about sex somewhat funny, considering their encounter that first, drunk night. Not a complete dick, no, but one that clearly had no control under the influence.

"How did Joe end up under a table then? If you were so sober." Gwil asked Ben. He watched as a friendly squabble broke out between his co-stars as to what happened. In the background the sets were being changed again - it was the last time for a while they'd be in a studio, the rest would be on location at the farm. They'd been allowed to stay there but with limited crew. It wasn't the real farm, but it was close enough. 

"What does everyone actually remember from that night?" Joe asked, less than happy with the varying accounts of their escapades.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, thank you for the continued support this story has received, it really does mean the world and all the comments are read and appreciated.
> 
> Some small notes, this is in the same universe as Love, Hope and Confusion, so Brian and Roger's first son is still called Jimmy Rose - they have several after him, but its not terribly important for the story - really its only mentioned in terms of filming (which like in real life changes the timeline and story somewhat, but it basically the same film with the alterations).
> 
> Some of you have started having some ideas about what could be happening next, and I'm telling you nothing.
> 
> As always ask anything you like either here in the comments or on my tumblr through DMs or asks, thank you again for taking the time to read and I hope you enjoy this next chapter!!
> 
> Love,  
> Pluto xx

"Well I've already given you the whole story the moment you woke up. The drunk karaoke, the crying and all." Ben looked at Rami. "I've yet to expose HIS secrets, as per request, but if he doesn't stop pushing, it's coming out." 

"Please, God, no." Rami held up his hands. "I don't need the blackmail." 

"Well I've got a whole post office of it." Ben shook his head. "I should have you waiting on me to be quite honest."

"I'm curious as to two things now: what did you do that sobered you up? And what did I do that I felt like I'd been doing weights all night?" Gwil hadn't really asked about the night, as far as he was concerned, they got plastered, somehow got back to Ben's, and woke up on the sofa with no shirt.

"Firstly, keep in mind that I wasn't really wasted in the first place." Ben straightened up a little. "I was the one that got you all home in the first place. And you… I don't know, really know what to say. I did sort of wrestle you onto the couch, if that counts, and you definitely had some energy, wriggling out of your shirt and all. I think you insisted on something like… real men don't sleep in their clothes, but you were too tired to get past your shirt. Good for you, I s'pose, not to embarrass yourself any further."

"Drunk me makes mistakes, don't judge." Gwil looked at Joe and Rami who were sniggering away at that. "But how about we go sight seeing or have another film night rather than get rat arsed next time?" He added quickly, they were all being called away.

"Sounds good to me, so long as we stay in." Ben hopped up, poking his arm. "I'll supply the drinks. Moderately of course, you each get two tickets."

"You're no fun," Joe mumbled, but he definitely agreed. That'd be much better. 

"Alright. And you guys pick some films that won't make me cry like a little girl," Ben requested. "Maybe something that isn't made for three year olds either."

"Not that I think we're mentally older than three. But how about Cornetto Trilogy or Harry Potter," Gwil said trying to think of films that were entertaining including their sequels, "Or idea two; Flash Gordon and Highlander?"

"Yes, I second that!" Ben nodded and grinned. "Maybe we even throw in a little Jurassic Park if we have time." 

"Oh God, no." Joe shook his head. "No need to be subjected to that again."

"But you were such a cute little bubba!" Gwil said in a babying tone, trying to pinch Joe's cheek. Rami laughed as Joe squirmed away.

"What went wrong, Joey?"

"Who knows? Maybe it was that scandal in my guest appearance on that cop show." Joe had played some dummy who liked to take sneaky footage under girls' skirts. Definitely not the prime suspect.

"Poor Joe. It must've been the fame." Ben tugged his shirt off, stretching a little before picking up the new garb. He didn't think it'd bug anyone. They were all guys here.

Gwilym couldn't help but blush as he looked at Ben's muscles stretching and moving as he stripped. Gwil looked down and started fiddling with the buttons of his shirt, not noticing Joe and Rami also get changed. He looked at Ben again, seeing the definition on his torso. He thought he was tired again, his mind throwing images of that body writhing underneath him. Which hadn't happened as far as he knew. He looked up, locking eyes with Ben.

Ben didn't let himself look for more than a few seconds. It just felt… suffocating sometimes, or like Gwil was the last food on earth and he was starving to death, but he was only allowed to look. He desperately wished he could just come out to the guy or be honest about that night, but that would ruin the filming atmosphere entirely.

He quickly pulled the other shirt on, changing the bottoms more quickly. The sooner he was dressed and out of there the better. The other guy had a goddamn date that night. He needed to move on.

Was Ben annoyed with him? Gwil worried he'd done something to offend Ben. Perhaps the blond had realised that Gwil liked him and found it bad. Or worse (he didn't think so, but it was still a possibility) Ben had worked out Gwilym was gay and didn't agree with it. He doubted it since Ben was a good person and very few people actually had a problem with it nowadays - especially not working on a film about Queen. But still, there was always gonna be problems. He waited for the others to finish up before going to set, getting into a calmer state of mind for the character as he said his lines, trying to stay focused.

Ben had to give his lines a few reads too. He did like getting these things done as quickly as he could. Tonight would be a very subdued night at home, him and Frankie. He was gonna need the puppy cuddles and kisses, it helped more than you'd think. For now, he focused on the scene and just tried to recite his lines, to make it feel as real as possible.

They finished up the scenes - everything was getting packed away for location shoot so they couldn't do much else than head straight to makeup and get changed. Gwil decided not to say anything to Ben, if he was angry he would say something - and anyway, he should be concentrating on his date. The one he hadn’t given a second thought to all day.

"Right, lads," he had finished putting on a smart shirt for his date, "How'd I look?"

"Ready to knock them off their feet." Ben gave him a reassuring smile, patting his shoulder. "Good luck tonight, mate. Even if it doesn't turn into too much, at least have fun with it, yeah?" 

Ben had faith Gwilym would make it work out, though. That would probably make things better. Well… worse because it would probably make him sort of hurt and jealous, but better because then Gwilym would definitely be unavailable. Also, the guy had nothing to worry about. If he wasn't amazing enough in looks, his personality was almost too much.

"Thanks, Ben. Really," he walked to the door, saying his goodbyes to the others and heading out. 

The date itself was nice, dinner and a film - classic. His date, Martin, was a friendly guy. But he wasn't right. As much as he thought the date would be as a distraction, he couldn't keep his mind on it, he looked across the table at Martin wishing it was Ben. At the end they said their goodbyes, promising to meet up when Gwil got back from location filming. Gwilym got home, feeling rather sorry for himself - not bothering to put on pyjamas - and went straight to bed.

Ben spent the night in, in a sort of… girly way, he supposed. He ordered junk food and watched movies, keeping cuddled on the sofa with Frankie in his lap. He was definitely bringing his dog to the farm. He could sleep on the end of the bed, and run about in free time. Ben just didn't want to leave without the little guy, especially to a farm. That'd just be unfair, and it was a safe, animal friendly location.

***

Gwil woke up to Joe pulling the blinds open "Someone had fun, it seems. Better not have hickies the make up ladies will kill you. Get dressed, we're going soon." 

Gwil squinted, instantly regretting giving the boys an emergency key. Grumbling he got ready, too tired to explain that he hadn't actually had sex. 

The film company had ordered them a car (closer to a small bus) to take them on the long trip, which Gwil and Joe could see rolling down the hill towards them.

Ben was already inside, sitting in the back seat with a sleepy Frankie in his lap. His bag and backpack were tucked under his seat, and he was in a comfortable hoodie, pretty tired himself. He probably has his airpods in as well, just listening to something low-fi for now. He looked up when the duo slipped in, smiling and waving. Maybe it'd be fun, like they were really the band, travelling together in the early days to location.

Gwil figured the rock n roll life would kick in when they were less sleep deprived. But after a while on the road, an adequate queen playlist on, they fell into some chatter.

"How about," Rami said when they were trying to come up with things to do, "Snog, marry, fuck?"

"Oh yes, a hundred percent yes." Joe perked up and nodded. "Alright, guys, let's make some line ups then. Gwilym , you're a man of taste and culture.... give us some choices." 

Ben took his headphones out, looking over curiously. This could be interesting

"Okay," he thought hard about it "How about... 70s Roger, Brian and John?" He felt that would be an interesting choice.

Rami thought for a moment, "Fuck Brian, Marry John and snog Roger."

"I'm gonna… fuck Roger, snog Brian, marry John," Joe decided. 

"Marry Brian, snog John, fuck Roger." Ben nodded. Solid choices.

"Interesting," Gwil said, looking at the others, "Rami's up next I guess." 

"Okay - I'll do the classics, Marilyn Monroe, Rita Hayward and Bridget Bardot."

"Ooh, tough..." Ben wasn't interested in any of the lot "I guess… snog Rita, fuck Marylin and marry Bridget." 

"I think I sort of agree with that. Well… except I'll be pretending that Marilyn is Bridget too." Joe winked.

"Uh, yeah. The same I guess." Gwil said, not at all into any of those women, but the others seemed to so... "Ben's up."

"Right on." Ben thought for a minute. "Hmm… how about Adam Lambert, Robert Sheehan and Hugh Jackman." 

"Ooh." Joe thought for a minute. "Snog Hugh, marry Adam and fuck Robert."

"Marry Robert Sheehan, fuck Adam Lambert - which is not being mentioned if he visits the set again," Gwil decided. They knew he'd briefly cameoed in the film, but only Rami had met him, "and snog Jackman."

Rami protested at that "No way! Marry Hugh, snog Adam and fuck Sheehan."

"Alright, alright." Joe held his hand up. "Now, this is the big one, okay guys? Your choices are...your other three supporting cast members, right here in this van."

"...you're joking, aren't you?" Ben looked up at him incredulously. "I mean… surely we-" 

"Marry Gwil, fuck Ben, snog Rami," Joe stated, crossing his arms and sitting back.

"Thanks?" Gwil thought about his choice for a moment: it's not like they would have to justify their answers.

Before he could say anything, Rami interrupted with his choices, "Marry Joe, fuck Ben, Snog Gwil." 

Gwil took his chance before he ended up last, "Marry Ben, fuck Rami and Snog Joe." He said that too quickly but at least he'd said it.

"I… I'm, uh..." Ben ran his fingers through his hair. He had to just say something, or else this was just gonna look bad for him, "...can't I just marry the three of you?" he improvised, batting his eyes playfully and pursing his lips. 

"I mean, I can't really say no to that face," Joe replied, Ben blowing him a kiss in response. Crisis avoided, it seemed.

Gwil masked his confusion, Ben must've really not liked the idea; picking the simplest solution that wouldn't offend anyone. Luckily they had managed to kill some time, and had crossed the Welsh border, entering countryside that was familiar and homely to Gwil - he must’ve travelled between England and Wales a million times by now. "Nice to be back."

"You've not got the accent for these parts, mate," Ben mused. "Didn't grow up in the right town for it. I hope you've been practicing your slang." 

"Yeah. I'm gonna need you two to translate for me." Joe shook his head. "Fake accent or not that I have, there's some stuff I still don't get, especially when you guys start going faster."

"What until you hear proper Welsh, Joe, Fyddech chi ddim yn deall gair ohono," he only spoke a little, from family growing up - but enough to sound impressive.

"Yep, no goddamn idea." Joe shook his head, looking out the window. "How much farther do we have to go? I'm getting stiff." 

"Yeah, and peckish," Ben agreed, looking down at Frankie. The little gal was awake, but it wasn't like he could go anywhere currently, so she just popped up a little, pawing Ben's chest gently.

"Shouldn't be too long now, basically as soon as we get off the main road and onto country lanes," he'd researched the farm beforehand, noting that it was far from civilisation and that there was a limited trailer space, so there might be room sharing required."twenty minutes, half hour tops."

"Well at least that's not too bad." Ben was glad playing games had killed the time. He could wait that much longer, go back to his music or something. The farm would hopefully lead to more good times, and less awkward encounters. 

Hopefully. 

They arrived outside, and all hopped out of the van to stretch their legs. Ben set Frankie down, letting her stretch and make a few laps of the van before settling next to his feet. Ben reached down, petting her softly and looking to the house. "Do I presume we're getting a tour?"

"I think we're just to explore by ourselves while the crew are setting up," Rami said, looking at all the cases and cord wraps lying around between the trailers and vans.

"I guess that makes sense then." Ben wandered up to the house, heading inside with Frankie on his heels. It was a cute little house, that was certain. He could picture the scenes here… including he and Gwil's kiss after the coffee machine fight.

Gwil and the others followed him in, looking at the quaint country house with its dark woods and fresh air. It wasn't an exact replica of Rockfield, but it was generally the same. They wandered into the 'studio' part of the house, really just a cleared out basement that had windows on one side. "Galileo scene's gonna be fun."

"Oh I can imagine." Ben could picture it, reaching down to scratch Frankie's head. "I'll be so squeaky, only you can hear me." he cooed to her playfully,

"Let's go work out where we're all sleeping," Gwilym led the way back up to the garden area where most of the folks in charge were busy doing safety checks and the like. When he asked one of the assistants where they could put their bags he was told about the rooms.

He headed back over to the boys that were cuddling into the dog: "So since they are only using the bedroom's briefly: we have been allowed to stay in them rather than trailers, but we'd need to share two to a room."

"I don't mind sharing," Ben replied, letting the other boys have their go at Frankie. She was very mellow still, just letting them pet, and maybe licking a hand here and there. She was just that kind of pooch. 

"As long as you guys don't fight over who gets to share with me," Joe agreed.

"I'll go with you, Joe. We can talk about the Pacific without anyone whining and be the cool kids of this band," Rami said, pulling his arm over Joe's shoulders.

"That's fine, Ben and I can watch Jurassic Park without hearing you screaming." Gwilym argued, all in good fun.

"Sounds perfect to me then." Ben plucked his dog up, petting her head. "Let's go get settled then. I don't think filming anything tonight, are we?"

"Running lines but no actual camera work." Gwil confirmed. They made their way back into the house, this time carrying luggage. They didn't have much, but what they had brought was winter clothing for the cold Welsh days. They got to the room the Americans were claiming as their own, small and cosy with two rickety looking camp beds in the corner. "I suppose we're upstairs then.”

"Probably better anyways," Ben mused, smiling playfully and heading upstairs. He wandered into the room, nodding at the bed… the singular bed. Ben nodded a little, setting Frankie down and setting his bags by a dresser against the wall. "Well then… guess I best find a sleeping bag or something, huh?"

"We're both grown adults, I'm sure we'll be just fine," he didn't want to cause a fuss when there didn't need to be one. "Unless you're uncomfortable with it." he also didn't want to alienate the younger man.

"Well… no, I guess that's fine, so long as you don't mind her in the morning." Ben watched Frankie trundle over to the end of the bed, hopping up and plopping down dead center. curling up and going back to sleep. Ben chuckled softly, sitting on the edge of the bed to pet her. "Anyways, she might wake you up, but she's pretty quiet. Hopefully she'll just nudge me instead."

"Not bothered, she's too cute to get annoyed at. Anyway - I grew up with plenty of pets in the house; it'll be just like old times," except this time he's lying next to a terribly handsome man who he shouldn't fancy but does and who almost definitely doesn't like him back in that way, all whilst he's trying to start a relationship with someone he is reasonably indifferent to as a distraction from said man. 

Fuck sake.

"Good to know." Ben gave Frankie's head a little scratch. "So what did you find out about dinner then? Is something being catered or are we just going to collect milk and eggs from the domestic animals around?" He was hoping there were at least snacks around here somewhere, having not eaten since his fairly light breakfast that morning.

"Food vans only get here after they manage to rig up some cables to get electricity to the trailer park - hence why they preferred us inside. That should be tomorrow afternoon if the weather stays good," so far they'd been lucky and it hadn't rained yet. "There should be packed lunches somewhere though." It made the whole thing sound like a school trip.

"Hope so." Ben ran his fingers through his hair. "Going over lines… we have that sort of fight scene about my car song, right? I get to throw food and you and all that." Ben couldn't help smiling at the image. Between that and his pouting in the studio over Galileo, it should be a pretty fun shoot.

"Yeah, and there's plenty of yelling." Gwil was glad there wasn't any mention in the script to the rumours that Rockfield had been Brian and Roger's first time. He knew the rating meant there was no explicit scenes, but he felt better for having no scenes like that at all. "Well we can look over stuff later - I'm getting hungry and lunch isn't gonna track itself down."

"Yes, exactly." Ben got up, putting his hands in his pockets and making sure he had his phone on him. He would let Frankie stay there and chill, no need to bug her. "Lead the way. You seem to have a sense of direction”

"I do tend to find what I want," he looked back at Ben, noticing how his hair curled at the ends and his face was flushed from tiredness "I guess it'll be an early night tonight."

"That'd be nice, wouldn't it?" Ben stretched a little, nodding along as they walked. He could use an early night. Food, do a little reading, something for dinner, and he was pretty sure he'd be out in no time… and woke up next to Gwil again. Ben shook his head a little, trying to dismiss the thoughts. He could only pray the guy was wearing clothes when he rested.

The afternoon went by quickly, they found some food, ran through some scenes and finally settled into each of their rooms at around ten ish. Gwil found an old shirt he'd brought, not usually one to wear anything to bed but he felt like that was too weird. He hesitated before getting into bed, "What side do you take?"

"Uh… right I guess." Ben was still really shy about getting into bed with his costar. He slipped into a pair of shorts and a soft, grey shirt. That should be fine, he figured.

"Okay," Gwil quickly got changed in the bathroom across the hall, before coming back into the room and leeching on the right side next to Ben. They exchanged awkward goodnights and turned the lights out, lying as far from the other as physically possible. The Welshman regretted his light clothing when the outside frost set into the room and he shivered under the thin covers.

Ben had fallen asleep easily. It hardly seemed to bother him… and Frankie had come up to lay in his arms. That added some warmth to things as well, or to him anyways. Ben was really struggling not to think about Gwil, though, the man probably permeated his dreams.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, thank you so much for reading, love reading all the lovely comments and getting the kudos! Not a lot in this chapter but it's going to start picking up soon I promise.
> 
> If anyone wants extra content there might be some circulating my tumblr blog soonish (feel free to suggest any ideas) and I hope you enjoy this chapter!!!
> 
> Honey xxx

Gwilym woke up early, confused by the soft muttering next to him. As his sleepy daze fell away, he noticed a strange weight on his shoulder. Opening his eyes to the foreign surroundings he remembered where he was. Then he saw the blond hair in front of him. Some time in the night, Ben must've ended up on his chest, Frankie on his stomach. There was no way to move without waking both.

He was screwed

Ben hadn't even realized it. He had just been naturally drawn to the warmth and someone to hold on to. Ben was really touch starved honestly, pining for hugs and kisses and cuddles like nobody's business. Poor Gwil had just been the (in Ben's eyes) unfortunate recipient. Frankie woke up to the stirring, though, and put her paws up on Ben, starting to lick his face.

Ben twitched a little, gently pushing her away. "Alright, dragon breath," he said, voice low and somewhat gruff from the sleep. "I'm awake now, but hush, or… wait..." Ben realized where he was at that moment. He immediately sat up, shaking his head and slipping to his side as far as he could. Fuck, how the hell did he manage that? "I am so, so sorry," he stated quickly. This is why he should have gotten a sleeping bag, damn it.

"It's fine," it wasn't, and Gwilym couldn't really shuffle away as he was already in his side of the bed. He got out of bed entirely, standing up and heading to the wardrobe he'd put his stuff in. "Let's just go to breakfast." 

But he couldn't shake off two specific feelings, one; that he genuinely loved how warm and natural holding Ben felt - despite the panic at the situation, and two; that he'd felt it all before.

Ben grabbed his own clothes, nodding quickly and heading off to the bathroom. He washed his face and slipped on his things as quickly as he could, making himself presentable. Ben was fighting the embarrassed blush, trying to cool off a bit. He'd done it, he's gone and fucking done it, their first night sharing a bed, and he'd already made it fucking awkward. He was gonna find a sleeping bag. Ben rejoined Gwil when he'd settled down, heading out with him to find breakfast. He let Frankie out the kitchen door, getting a little food in her dog bowl in the meantime.

"Everyone have a good sleep?" Rami asked, tucking into his eggs (since Joe and him had been there earlier).

"Uhh, yeah, why wouldn't we?" Gwil asked defensively, perhaps they had seen the two of them together and thought they had - you know. Was that a bad thing? It would make his crush a lot more awkward. 

"...right." Joe did think that line was a little weird coming from him. But he was no one to judge. 

Ben just sat down quietly, rubbing his hands on his thighs beneath the table. Yep. He had ruined everything.

Gwil checked his phone, his planner indicated that they had some scenes after breakfast, none of the biggies, just the band entering and exploring the house with Paul ( which was always strange to act so rude to Allen). He answered a few texts, smiling when Martin, his date, had sent him a wee hello - trying to make himself fall for the guy. Perhaps the best way to stop the situation between him and Ben was to act like he was with someone else: to keep acting like it until he believed it himself. 

"What're you grinning at?" Rami asked, curious as to the message.

"I bet it's a girl," Joe mused, fluttering his eyes at him. 

"Or a guy, boys, don't assume." Ben shook his head, stirring the tea he'd been given, but not actually drinking it. This whole ordeal had left him no appetite.

Shit, Ben knew he was gay. 

That's why everything was awkward between them. Might as well come out with it, "It's my..." what do you even call it? Distraction? "Date from the other night, Martin." He felt his face heat up and his palms get clammy - he hadn't really talked about it before. He looked across the table, Rami was smiling softly, happy his friend was getting somewhere, Joe was making a suggestive face and Ben looked ill. Looks like he'd made it worse.

"We're in Bohemian Rhapsody, Gwil." Ben smiled a little. "We're probably the most accepting crew you'll find, huh?" Ben was only hurt because Gwil was with another guy, which stung more than a woman.

"Thanks," his smile didn't quite reach far enough to be convincing. For someone of a more dominant nature, he knew he was rather pathetic the amount he over thought and cared about what people said, but he was glad they were cool with it. "Better get to make up and start acting before we get yelled at."

"Yeah, good idea." Ben got up from the table, letting Frankie back in before wandering to the makeup trailer. The little gal would probably nap for a good while after he had his breakfast, so Ben wasn't worried about him. Before long he was getting his wig adjusted, face carefully brushed up just a tad. Ben changed into his current outfit, a rather nice jacket with a short, yellow shirt and some good shades, before rejoining the others outside. At least when they were working they had to get along.

Gwil did his scenes, wearing a casual white shirt and jacket. He was still getting used to walking with clogs though. He waited until they had a break to speak to Ben, partially to tell him he'd found a sleeping bag (which he was happy to sleep in so the blond would be more comfortable), but also to ask about where they stood with the other. If he had the courage to that is.

Ben was sitting on the fence on the side of the set, watching Frankie sort of frolic in the grass. It was quite funny to him, seeing her trundle around a bit quicker than usual. Normally she just sort of laid around, but watching her sort of skip/hop/waddle along, enjoying the sight and smell of the farm. 

He was relieved by the sleeping back. "Thank goodness. I'll settle down there with Frankie then, just snag a pillow or two from the bed. Cheers."

"Could I talk to you?" He needed to ask, he couldn't understand the atmosphere between them, it wasn't there with himself and anyone else, nor could he see it with Ben and any of the people working on the film. He waited for the nod "Have I done something? To offend you or anything?"

"What? No, of course not." Ben shook his head. "You've been wonderful to work with, not given me any brush offs or anything. I'm really sorry, I… have I been standoffish or… I mean, I haven't meant to hurt you or anything, have I?" 

Now Ben was nervous. Firstly, he must be doing something wrong if he was being questioned. Second, Gwil could definitely be catching onto what happened between them.

"No, not in the slightest," he gave him a reassuring smile. Good job he was an actor: in reality he wanted to ask what happened when they got drunk. Did he kiss him? But he couldn't bring himself to say it. "I just don't want it to be odd: you're my friend, I don't want to lose that over any silly mistakes."

"Neither do I." Which is exactly why he didn't want to tell him. "I mean… you're a great guy and I'm glad to work with you. Between us, I think sometimes we're the only sane ones in the band, bloody Americans that they are." He was just trying to lighten the mood, giving a little playful wink.

"Oh, I don't know, sometimes being that open about things is good," Rami and Joe never seemed to have much of a filter, not in a rude way, just they tended to say things as they were, "I reckon we can be a bit uptight in Britain." Or emotionally repressed, depends how you look at it.

"Yeah, it gets beaten out of us in year 7," Ben agreed with a wistful smile. "Mmm… I was quite an athlete back then, you know. I even got a sports scholarship. Then I injured myself like a nonce and became an actor because I couldn't play anymore."

"Rugby, I guess?" He seemed more like a rugby player than football. "They teach rugby in Wales like its religion - my parents thought to carry that on even when we lived in England." Not that he'd taken to playing, being the youngest of four he hadn't needed to give his siblings more opportunities to tackle him. But he did watch the nations avidly when it was on.

"Yeah, it was rugby." Ben nodded a little. "I was just always really into it. I guess it turned out for the better, though. I got into some pretty big stage productions around the U.K., then I got on Eastenders and X-Men, now this, which is definitely the most brag worthy."

"Oh, I think we all remember the Peter Beale storyline. My mum loves eastenders." He gave a smile, recalling when his mother had asked who else was working on this film and had instantly heard of Ben, "I've only really done theatre and midsummer."

"No, you've got a whole backlog of movies." Ben shook his head. "The Last Witness, Jamestown, A Song for Jenny, Fresh Meat, Hollow Crown, among others. And you were in games too, you made it into Final Fantasy XIV." Ben crossed his arms gently. "You're quite notable, mate, I've seen your IMDb."

"Memorised it too by the sounds of it," in fairness he'd had a long browse over Ben's a few times, "this is probably the biggest thing any of us have done though."

"Oh definitely. It'll never be the same after this." Ben smiled. "I bet you'll be gettin' calls left and right now, from all the big companies. Everyone's gotta cash in on ya while you're still red hot."

Gwil blushed, was Ben flirting? Only one way to find out; "Nevermind me, good-looking young man like you, I'm surprised you've not been snapped up by the big bucks."

Ben chuckled softly, looking down and shaking his head. He was a bit flushed at that too. Fuck... "Believe me, I've had… less than appealing email offers." Ben looked up. "You'd be surprised what someone'll offer you for pictures of your feet, y'know. Even with socks on. And that's not to mention the people that've tried to cast me as a porn star. It's just… I've not tried to make myself an object, I just want to be fit and all, but that's the kind of stuff people are looking for in the business."

"That's fair, you've got incredible range as an actor, looks aside," Gwil knew how the system worked: that one of the stand out differences between them and the actual members of Queen was they were far more jacked, none of them would have made it far without working out for hours.

"Yeah." Ben awkwardly twirled a bit of his wig on his finger, like it was his real hair. Now what did he say? Why was he so shy?

"Listen, I think we ought to get going, but I meant what I said: if I ever do something to make you uncomfortable or if I've done something to offend you, please just tell me." he really hoped that if Ben would just tell him what the issues were.

"I will, definitely. Same to you." Ben smiled. "So when we kiss in the kitchen, are you going to be calling me Martin instead of Roger now?" he teased gently, winking and walking back towards the set.

"And I thought you were a nice person!" In truth he wasn't that bothered by the mention of his little slip up, but he milked it for laughs "No, I'll try using my singular braincell this time." He thought about it for a second: there was one sure fire way to see if something had happened between them, if he'd said something or if they'd kissed, then this would work, "Maybe you'll slip up and call me daddy instead of Brian."

Ben flushed red immediately, stopping in his tracks. Jesus Christ. 

That was a bit much, wasn't it? No… he wouldn't know something like that. Had he even called him that? No, no, he couldn't have… well he would love to but… fucking hell. "Makes me wonder if they'd keep it in the film." he tried, shaking his head and blushing softly.

Shit, he reacted. Fuck, that must have been too much. So much for innocent teasing: regardless of what he did Ben always seemed to one up him. "Doubt it," he tried to play it cool, but inevitably ended up sounding like a thirteen year old trying to get into the cinema to watch an eighteen - voice squeaking a little.

"Right..." Ben just walked back to the set with that. That was enough for now. He was ready to get into the acting headspace and pretend he didn't have to deal with any of these issues. Maybe he was supposed to tell him at this point. It could hardly be more awkward than things already were. He returned to his place on the set, leaning on the counter with a little sigh. This was giving him a huge headache honestly, he just wanted to go lay down with some dog therapy.

Gwil was sure now that they'd kissed that night. This left him with three separate questions. Did Ben fully remember? Did he regret it? And was he straight? The last one got his head spinning: everyone had been accepting if Gwil being gay, but Ben had reacted differently. Or maybe he'd spent too long playing a detective and should stop imagining things. Simply Ocam's razor: he had a vivid dream that night, Ben was a crush, and he was looking to far into things.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya, hope everyone is well and thank you for all the comments and kudos!!!
> 
> Hope you all enjoy this next chapter,
> 
> Love,  
> Pluto xxx

Ben didn't have much trouble getting into character for the scene. Defending his car song wasn't bad either, because he did like it. He was also getting somewhat agitated between the pain and everything going on, so it felt pretty damn good to toss the food and sweep everything off the counter. 

"Well then." Joe/John got up, putting his hands up and walking out. "On your own there, Rog." Ben sighed and leaned on the counter, looking down and shaking his head. Only he and Gwil were left on the set. This was supposed to be their moment

Gwil got up, walking around the counter to face Ben, "I'm sorry, Roger," he gently touched Ben's arm, tilting his head to be able to see under the blond fringe. God, that man had gorgeous eyes. "I wasn't trying to upset you." He brought their faces inches away from each other.

"It's fine… prolly right anyways." Even if they weren't Roger's baby blues, Ben had stunning green eyes. You could pick out the little flecks of gold and blue if you looked long and deep enough too. Ben sort of fancied Gwil's himself. He wouldn't mind staring for a while. Maybe their encounter wouldn't have been so bad if Ben hadn't been on his back, gazing up at Gwil through the haze.

"I don't know about that, perhaps with a few changes..." Ben's lips were a sort of cherry colour, he leaned down to capture them with his own. He noticed Ben smelt like cologne and fresh linen, his lips tasted of coffee and mint. They pulled apart, "Actually, fuck it. It's who you are: untameable. I don't want to change that."

"I was hoping you'd say something like that." Ben slipped his arms around Gwil's neck, leaning up a little. "I like an agreeable man." he added in a soft whisper, kissing his cheek and heading out, but winking back at him. Implications. Gwil watched after him bemusedly, and the scene was cut.

Gwil laughed fully when the camera cut, Ben coming back into the room, "That was good, Ben, I liked that... The acting I mean." Very classy - but he meant the kiss rather than the acting.

"Yeah, mood sort of did a one eighty there," Ben mused. "Surprising what hormones can do, I s'pose." Kissing him again… well, Ben was getting used to the on screen stuff by now. It still sort of gave him some flutters, but he was suppressing them more easily.

"I guess." He didn't really understand what he meant by the hormones comment. Most men only really got affected by testosterone. But he knew fuck all about biology and perhaps that could affect thing. But the Welshman let it go, it was getting late, they had a busy day tomorrow and the best part of a week of filming ahead of them.

Ben headed inside, letting Frankie tail him into the trailer and settle on his feet while he got the makeup and wig off. Ben's head still felt somewhat heavy, wig or none, so he figured his best bet was to maybe grab a bite, since he hadn't eaten yet that day, and head upstairs to sleep.

He swung through the kitchen, making himself a couple of sandwiches with a glass of water. Ben ate half the first one, before deciding he was done, and he simply put it in the bin and headed up to their room. After a quick shower and a few pills, he settled in the sleeping bag with his little canine teddy and passed out. 

To call it a good night's rest was a stretch. Ben was shifting around a lot. In the morning, he woke to the unpleasant feeling of a dry throat, and upon swallowing, found that it stung. Wonderful. He headed to the showers and quickly cleaned up, ignoring how his body begged him to lay back down. He had a shoot to do, not today. He managed a few more pills for the headache and headed downstairs, hoping to just fake his way through this thing until it was gone.

Gwil heard footsteps behind him: must be Ben. He's struggled to sleep after having been so close to Ben the previous night, so he snuck down to the 'studio' to get some guitar practise in. He definitely couldn’t fuck up the solo; had to be spot on.

"Hope you've got your singing voice today, it's the Galileo scene" they were going to run over the singing, but the cast had been encouraged to sing anyway. Gwil turned around to see if it was Ben, which it was, "Christ, you all right?" The blond looked peaky, kind of pale and flushed at the same time, eyes slightly glazed.

"Didn't sleep so well," Ben replied. Luckily, his voice was naturally deep enough to disguise any sort of husk that might be trying to creep in it. Makeup would hopefully be able to carefully perk him up. "Has anyone made coffee yet? Or tea?" Tea would probably be better for him at this point.

"Doubt it, Rami's been in make up early for his shots, and I don't think Joe's got out of bed yet," he put down the guitar, "I'll get the kettle on." He said, clapping Ben in the shoulder as he walked past him towards the food counter that had been set up so the cast and crew could get snacks without having to go outside.

Ben stretched a little, glancing at the counter. He had no appetite, but he figured if he didn't eat something, he'd probably only be worse off. He wandered over to the options, looking them over before choosing a bagel and settling on a chair. Ben worked on the bagel in bites, pretending that every swallow wasn't a pain in his throat. He took the cup Gwil set in his hands with a grateful nod and had a few sips. At least the warmth felt good in the moment. "So… they're, like, properly expecting me to sing that whole 'Galileo' thing?"

"Yep, we're all having to actually play and sing, they'll just go over it if it's too obviously not Queen," he sat down next to him, sipping some tea having already eaten, "Brian and/or Roger might be coming today apparently." The pair had been nipping in and out of the filming but had actually grown close to the cast.

"Oh geez." Ben shook his head. He didn't need that today. No, not at all. This was already difficult enough. If they just showed up and saw him attempting to sing… fucking hell. "I hope you've been practicing that solo then."

"Like mad, I really struggle with the guitar, more of a triangle person," he did get lessons throughout school and during the filming process (including a few with Brian) so he wasn't as bad as he pretended, but he was hardly a musician. "You sure you're fine?" Ben's voice was gruff, not by much, but Gwil had memorised how it normally sounds so he knew the difference.

"I'm sure, mate." Ben finished his tea, taking a few breaths. "I best just get ‘round to makeup, make sure they powder me off for the shine and all that, you know?" 

Ben tried to be chipper. He joked around as much as he could, being playful with the others, despite feeling worse, almost by the moment. The small bit of breakfast he had felt like too much, his head was killing him, and so was his throat. But he still did his best, getting made up and going in to do his takes. The fact that Brian and/or Roger may arrive only made him feel more ill.

Gwil was sat with Joe across a sheet of glass from where Ben would start his falsettos. The director stopped from where he was checking distances to announce that both Roger and Brian were five minutes away. 

" Looks like today just got a tonne more stressful." Gwil said to Joe, glad that his solo was after lunch, giving everyone some time to settle down.

"You're telling me. I better get these fucking Galileos over with." Ben sighed softly. "Can we please roll? Like, I'm ready as I'll ever be here."

"And… action!" 

Ben did his absolute best. He obviously wasn't Roger. But his Galiloes weren't half bad. He tried to get as many in as he could, as quickly as possible. His throat was not into this, it burned like deep throating the devil, but he was still able not to crack.

"And cut." Luckily for Ben, Brian and Roger arrived as he finished. Unluckily for Gwil, it was the guitar solo next and most of the crew had come downstairs to see the old Rockers. Fuck sake. 

" Well done, mate." He said as he passed Ben to swap places with him across the glass, "Let's hope this ruddy guitar sounds on the same calibre."

"Yes, good luck." Ben flopped back on a sofa, rubbing his head. He sighed softly, slipping on a lair of shades and pretending to just be tired in character. In reality, he sort of wanted to curl up in bed and die. He had to bite his lip when the audio came over, but he was mesmerized by Gwil's playing. He was really channeling Brian, who he shyly waved to when the older man entered.

Gwil tried his hardest to forget the packed hot room, the pressure of filming a huge project like this, the fact that he was being watched by the world famous creators of what he was playing, the fact Ben was watching. And he did - only for a minute or so, as he played the notes, remembering only to move in a particular way. When he came back to the moment, the set was silent: he must've fucked up. He nearly ran over to where the others were sitting, face beat red.

"Nice one, G," Joe told him, playing with the knobs on the table. "Just, uh… you didn't say your line." 

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to do it twice." Rami nodded. "But you totally nailed the solo, man, like… perfect."

He got back up, noticing the little thumbs up Brian gave him, luckily he could go straight from the solo to the dialogue, which was over quickly enough. However, looking into the booth at the other three, he could see Ben was slumped on the sofa. He got the scene over in one take, and went over again, this time properly.

Ben was really getting exhausted by then. None of his symptoms would let up in the slightest. He was miserable, felt horrific, and he was doing his best to hide it. It wasn't as if he could do much at that point, though.

"Is it a head cold?" Gwil asked, waving a steaming cuppa in front of Ben. Rami was doing his piano scenes with Allen so the small crowd had wandered upstairs. "Or did you get chills from the cold?"

"I'm not sure." Ben shook his head, taking it from him. "I think I'm just adjusting to the country air. I'll be fine, just a little tired today." Ben didn't really believe that was true, but he'd pretend it was. It felt more like the flu, the way it was hitting basically every organ in his body, but he'd keep brushing it off. Worse came to worse, he'd find some pills.

"Alright, but let me take the sleeping bag tonight so you can be more comfortable," he rubbed Ben's shoulder softly, hearing him hum at the action. They still had the harmonies to film today, but everything else would be over the next few days.

"Cheers, mate." Ben managed a tired smile. That would be nice, yes. His sore body could surely use it. 

***

The night was… awful. Ben could hardly sleep. He was tossing and turning, interrupted by coughing fits and horrible stomach cramps. Ben wasn't sure what was wrong, but come morning, he could hardly walk down the stairs. He was in the kitchen before everyone else, and he was coughing hard, leaning on the counter for support.

Gwil woke to the sounds of coughing. He lay in bed for a minute longer, expecting it to stop soon. It was still 5:30 am and he'd prefer to get a few more hours of sleep in. However the noise didn't stop, it didn't sound like someone choking (there were sometimes gaps between fits), but it wasn't healthy sounding either. Gwil got up to see who it was - and since very few people were actually staying in the house - he had a vague inkling of who it was. And he was right.

Ben shook his head, using the counter to keep himself up at that point. His cheeks were rosy and his face was sheened with sweat. He felt shaky, he knew he was feverish, he was weak from not being able to hang onto any food. This was worse than he'd thought. Honestly, the dizziness had him on the verge of keeling over.

"Hey, let's get you sat down, eh?" Gwil put his hand on Ben's back to guide him to the chair by the table, but ended up half carrying him the short distance, "You're running a temperature, have you taken meds for this?" Perhaps the medical box the production team had would have some flu pills, if not he'd happily borrow one of the cars to the nearby village.

"Not… not really." Ben leaned on his hand, closing his eyes and taking a few soft breaths, stifling another coughing fit. "A few acetaminophens… didn't seem to do much." He pressed his other hand to his stomach, wincing and biting his lip pretty firmly.

"Wait there a minute, I'll go see if there's promethazine in the box," he left Ben at the table with a glass of water. He practically ran to the 'open' trailer where odds and ends - including the extensive first aid kit - were housed. He couldn't find any pills specific to flus or stomach bugs, but there were some cure-all tablets that could help. 

He got back to the kitchen, "So there's these, quite strong," he read the label properly "but since you've had no previous heart problems, you've not drank alcohol and aren't pregnant we can assume it's fine."

"Right… might as well try them out." Ben nodded and took a few, swallowing them up with some water. He cringed a little, coughing after and gritting his teeth. Honestly, it really didn't seem like he was going to be able to film today, but he didn't want to admit to that. "What scenes do we have today?" Ben asked, after taking the pills and clearing his throat.

"The harmonies, the first half of that scene with the anti male carriers riots on the telly, dialogue heavy ones," he explained, emphasising the fact it would be a slow day, dialogue always was (especially with limited crew). "I'm sure they can shuffle the timetable if you said."

"I can manage it, if make up can make me presentable." Ben managed a tired smile. Sounded… okay. Probably gonna be some pretty close to Gwil moments. He didn't mind, not really. "I'd take some vitamin d, keep me from spreading."

"Yeah, although you're likely at the worst of it now," Gwil hoped so anyway, but if he'd been ill for the best part of 24 hours he should be at the crest of the bug and therefore not infectious."I'm gonna go get ready - shout if you need anything." He got up to go, pressing a kiss into Ben's temple for some reason. But it felt natural and he'd left the room before anything could get weird.

Ben's cheeks would've gone red if they weren't already. Gwil just… he just kissed him. Dear Lord, Gwilym kissed him right on the temple and then just… cruised, like it was something normal. 

He tried to shake it off, just walking out to the trailer Ben spent the whole time just relaxing, letting the artists cover him up heavily, so he looked normal. He moved into the set as always, and the chorus shots were rolling sooner than later

The set was laid out so that all four of them could reach the microphone, and so that the panels would collapse back when they fell. When they did fall, Rami and Joe went to one side, and Ben and him went to another, (rather the blond landed on him again). 

"Blimey, Ben" he said after they cut, "you seem determined to land on my knackers."

Ben shook his head quickly, shifting off of him as quick as he could. "And you seem determined to embarrass me, don't you?" he replied, taking the headphones off. It wasn't really too much of a lie, or it didn't seem like it. It was as if they were meant to be awkward.

"Sorry," he wasn't really, but he hoped Ben wasn't actually offended, especially if he was ill. Gwil took off his head phones too, getting them tangled in the wig, "Did the medicine kick in much?"

"A bit." Ben pushed the faux bangs back a little. "I still feel totally shit, really bad headache, testy stomach. I hope it's something that passes quickly." He got up to his feet, rolling his shoulders a bit. "What's our next bit?"

Gwil finally pulled the headphones free, "I think we're upstairs for the telly scene." 

The next scene wasn't the most important or impressive, but Gwil thought it was one of the most interesting. The band started off chatting about a song relaxing by the telly, but the talk slowly died out as the news reports on the riots against male carriers, telling the stories from the countries where it's a crime to be a carrier, and how it's dealt with. The film rating means that its not mentioned outright that some places had forced abortions or that the mother was kicked out of society or killed in some instances, but it's implied.

"Oh, right on." Ben shifted a bit, heading to the other room to change. He put on yet another Roger-esque outfit and settled on the sofa, close beside Gwil. It was part of the script, but being against Gwil felt alright anyways.

"And action"

"Okay, Fred, what if we mix up the tempo a bit, make the Du, Du, Dum, sound bolder?" Gwil looked at Rami, who sat on the armchair next to Joe. There was a bit of conversation between the four of them at that suggestion - which he knew would get dimmed in production. There was a close up on him and Ben as the news started. There was marching, and gunshots, screaming. What made it worse was that it was real footage. There were announcements, death tolls, how the campaign had succeeded in ‘managing’ the issue of over 3000 cases across Eastern Europe. The reporter didn’t seem to care, as if no one was bothered that it was happening. Or as if they quietly agreed.

Ben slowly became fixated on the screen. His lips parted slightly and he tensed just a bit at the brutal visions. It… It wasn't good. It wasn't right, it was downright disturbing. It made him feel sick quite honestly.

Gwil squeezed Ben's hand, watching as the images became worse, Ben becoming more and more tense with it. 

"Enough of that!" Rami said in his Freddie voice, 'startling' everyone as he got up and switched the telly off. 

The camera zoomed into Gwil and Ben. "Roggie, mate, it's alright," he pulled the blond close, very close.

"No… it's really not." Ben hid his face in Gwil's chest, giving a shaky sigh and letting himself be held, tightly. It was all too disturbing, especially for someone who might be...

Gwil rested his chin on Ben's head, "That's miles away, not round here. I wouldn't let anything happen to you." They all heard 'cut' after a few seconds of reaction shots, but Ben didn't move out of his arms, so he kept them around him.

Ben was breathing in a shaky way, trembling slightly. The fever was hitting him hard and he felt sick. But he felt safe there. Still, he hardly had strength to move.

"Ben?" Gwil whispered, keeping Ben in his arms, but moving away to be able to see his face better, "Hold on to my arm, we'll go over to the room, yeah?"

Ben nodded a little, making brief eye contact. He looked ghastly at this point, extremely pale and weak. He clung to Gwil, letting himself be pulled gently to his feet.

They stumbled out of the set, Gwil gave Joe a look to sort things out from there whilst he took Ben to the bedroom. Slowly lowering him onto the bed, he pulled the duvet over him (for all he had a fever he was also getting cold). "Do you want me to the medic?"

"M-Maybe… just want to sleep..." Ben tugged the blankets close, closing his eyes and stifling another coughing bout. Hr really did just want to pass out.

"Okay, dear, try to get some sleep in, I'll wake you up in a few hours for some medicine. I'll get someone if you're not any better," he leaned over Ben and kissed his forehead. "I'll be back soon."

"M'kay." Ben didn't question the kiss this time. It gave him a bit of a tingle, but he wasn't up to romance. It still felt good, being cared about and all, but he was hazy, and he passed out before long. The nap was uneasy. Ben was tossing and turning, half awake sometimes and softly mumbling. If he was having dreams, they weren't good ones, that was certain.

Gwilym quickly explained to Rami and Joe what had happened, asking them to watch Ben while he went to the pharmacy to get some things for him - ignoring a few missed calls from Martin - he wasn’t the priority.

When he returned, Ben was still asleep and Joe was waiting (since some of the scenes had been moved by Rami and Allen for Ben's sake). Gwil looked into the room for a few minutes, noticing Ben was completely out. He stepped into the doorway and called Martin back.

All Ben had, even in sleep, was terrified visions. Some of them involved Gwil and himself. But most of them revolved around being dropped from the film. He didn't look like Roger. He didn't sound like Roger. He wasn't good enough, and he wasn't going to be able to get through this.

Joe only sort of shook his head, gently dabbing the sweat away with a washcloth. He definitely didn't like seeing Ben like this. He also hoped this wouldn't wrench production too badly.

Gwil hung up the phone, too distracted to really listen to any new date ideas. He did blindly agree to meet up again, but he'd rather stay and look after Ben. 

"Is he getting any better?" he asked Joe, taking a seat on the bed, "I've brought a bunch of things - I didn't know if he had allergies to anything."

"I can't tell. He's stopped, like… whimpering for now." Joe set the cloth aside. "He's pretty feverish still, like… a hundred and two in Fahrenheit last time I checked. It's definitely a rough sort of bug. I hope he can kick it sooner than later."

"Hundred and two... That's roughly thirty eight," Gwil tried to work it out: too high any way. "He seems healthy, I feel like he would have mentioned any major illnesses or medical history by now. Hopefully the fever breaks."

"Yeah, I sure hope so. I mean, within twenty four hours, it better go down a little." Joe got up. "You think you can manage him for a bit?"

"Course," he switched places with Joe, taking the washcloth and rinsing it with new water before returning to Ben's side. "Shhh, please be okay, Benny-boy." he said softly, touching Ben's hand.

Joe put his hands in his pockets and headed out. He sort of sensed something might be there, but… not his place to say.

Ben coughed softly, stirring a little. That voice… Gwilym... He shook his head, opening his eyes and looking up at him. In his feverish state, he wasn't thinking clearly, and he was sort of confronting his fears. "Gwil… fucking hell… Gwil, please, don't let them fire me."

"No one's gonna fire you," he pulled the blond hair off of his damp forehead (Joe must've got rid of the wig). "You're too good an actor to leave this film." The fever must be playing with him.

"No… no, I've messed it all up… I'm-I'm not like Roger… I'm not in love with Brian, I'm in love with you… I'm not supposed to break character..." He coughed again, shaking his head.

"Okay..." What!? That had to just be the fever talking. Ben didn't like him like that, never mind love him. Hell, Ben was straight - wasn't he? It had to be the illness - best to play ball and go along with it, "You're very good at playing Roger, Ben - you don't need to be in love with anyone."

"But I am… and he has a boyfriend." Ben closed his eyes, softly groaning. "Doesn't matter… I'm okay… I'm just fine..."

"Who has a boyfriend? Roger?" he asked Ben, not really following what was happening anymore - not that he thought there was a huge amount of sense behind it.

"Gwil does.. he doesn't need me." Ben slowly drifted off, into the feverish coma state again.

"I'm pretty sure Gwil does need you, I'd know..." he said, but Ben had gone into a deeper sleep altogether and didn't look like he was going to reply at any point. "I need you, Ben. Of course I need you."

Ben may have had a few more little instances like that. He'd wake up and whimper and just need Gwilym to cling to and tell him he was okay. It was a rough night, in summary. Ben's biggest slip was when he had briefly mentioned not telling Gwilym the truth about something. 

He didn't specify. He just revealed that he'd been hiding something, and that was all.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya, hope everyone is enjoying the story, if you have any ideas for requests you can head over to my tumblr, the same name as on here, and ask away.
> 
> We never wrote any smut for this, so don't worry if you don't like that, however there is heavy insinuation and implication to sexual content - nothing bad but that's that warnings for this chapter.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading I look forward to hearing your thoughts on it all!

Ben had no idea what he said when he woke up. In fact, he didn't really remember much till the next day, around noon. He woke up then, still feeling sore, but much better. The fever was gone, and Gwilym was there, holding his hand. Ben managed a tired smile. 

"Hey there."

"Hi," Gwil's voice was groggy from having stayed awake all night (added to the early morning he'd had the night before he could just imagine he looked a mess). He was still thinking back to all the bits and pieces Ben had said: that he loved him, that he wanted a future with him, and that he was hiding something. 

That one had made Gwil pry rather than just go along with it. What could he be hiding? Maybe he wasn't straight and hadn't wanted to say anything, or perhaps they did kiss that night. He decided Ben needed some time to adjust before he asked about it though. 

"Feelin' better?"

"Definitely. God… it was like one, long, sick nightmare… it hasn't been more than a day, has it?" He'd probably strangle himself if he'd wasted that much time. Ben already felt incredibly guilty for getting ill in the first place.

"No, mate: it's about noon, you've been out for about 20 hours. Nearly gave us all heart problems," he helped Ben sit up a bit, quickly messaging Joe to tell him (and to bring tea). "You remember much?"

"No… just being in a lot of pain. Bad dreams, I think." Ben cleared his throat, rubbing his chest a bit. "Did I do something stupid?'

"Not really," he wasn't gonna get his hopes up just for Ben to tell him it was all a mistake, but he did still want to ask about what he was hiding, "You did say that you were-" his phone rang "I better get this, excuse me a minute."

Ben nodded, sighing a little and shaking his head. 

Lovely. 

He said hi to Joe in the meantime, telling him that he was alright and he should be out of bed in no time. He took the tea from him, taking a few sips. That felt much better. Joe said he'd bring up some breakfast next, which Ben appreciated, since it'd been three days at this point since his last meal.

"... Okay, love you too. Bye." He put his phone into his pocket. Gwil came back into the room, nodding to Ben before getting some of the meds out of his bag "These should help with the last of the bug. Lucky no one else caught it - nasty symptoms."

"Miserable," Ben agreed, taking another sip of the tea. But fucking hell. Love you too? Gwil just threw that word around, huh? He usually saved 'I love you' for when he was absolutely positive he was truly and deeply loving someone after a while of knowing them. Nope, one date was enough for him. Good to know.

Gwil's mum had phoned to see when he could visit, since the set was close to where they lived, but he had explained what was happening (a parent friendly edit anyway). "You don't have any scenes until the afternoon, if you're up to it, we've all spoken to the director and he's said you're good to take a few days off."

"Cheers." Ben nodded. "I might have to take the rest of the day, just to be safe. Tomorrow I'll be back on my feet, with a little extra caffeine and all. "So… you were saying? What did I mention before we were interrupted?"

"You... em, said you were hiding something," he was glad Joe had buggered off - as good friends as they were, this wasn't really a friends conversation given one or both of them would get embarrassed by what was said, "I thought it was just delirium, but you were pretty fixated on it."

"Oh… oh, uh..." Ben bit his lip. "It's probably something stupid, taking someone's toothbrush or… something like that." Yikes. He'd really slipped there, hadn't he? He didn't think he could really sell this whole story anymore.

"Given how involved I seemed to be in this; it better not have been my toothbrush," he joked - he really wasn't convinced by Ben's excuse, but what could he do, he was almost certain they'd kissed that night. But what was one drunken kiss he didn't remember (which he wished he did).

"Well..." Ben shifted a little, setting the cup aside. "I… it was..." He felt wrong. No, he couldn't keep lying to him like this. So he decided to pose a question instead. "So why did you kiss me? Yesterday, twice, the day before once. And I don't mean during the filming."

Shit.

"I... d-dunno. To comfort you, I guess." So it was just the illness and he didn't love him and clearly felt awkward about their contact. Fucking great. "I'll not do it again. I wasn't trying to make you feel uncomfortable." he felt like a child apologising for stealing sweets.

"I didn't say it made me feel uncomfortable," Ben stated. "I want to know why you did it, which you didn't tell me."

"It felt natural, to make sure you were okay." he said a little more confidently, he hadn't expected the question - he hadn't even expected Ben to have remembered. "I wasn't trying to come onto you, if that's what you're wondering." he defended.

"No, I wouldn't think so, boyfriend and all." Ben crossed his arms. "You know… first time you took him out, I remember you telling Joe how you weren't the guy to need condoms on the first date… yet after one night of drinking, you ploughed me on the couch… that's the big secret, Gwil. We shagged that night."

Gwilym choked, "That's not funny, Ben." It came out more desperate, like a plea, hoping Ben would crack a smile and burst into laughter. But he didn't. 

"I... need a minute." he rushed out of the room, needing to collect himself alone, he was coming back - but in a while.

Ben sighed softly, closing his eyes. He couldn't help it. He'd pent it up too long and he was somewhat jealous of Gwil's love so… he snapped. Oh well. Now it was out there and there was no taking it back. Time to face the music.

*** 

Gwil stopped walking when he reached the edge of a field, a few miles out. He needed to sort through everything. He'd fucked Ben. 

He had actually fucked Ben, and he couldn't even remember it. But it made sense; the flashbacks to things he couldn't have imagined, why the odd touches had felt familiar, the ambiance between him and Ben. 

Shit Ben. He had walked out on him, still not really knowing if Ben actually liked him, or if he thought he was a slag. Or if he hated him. He hoped that wasn't the case, but he easily expected it to be.

He spent a long time there, still tired and hungry from not having left Ben's bedside all night. He didn't know quite what time it was when he decided to get back to the house (his phone had stayed in the bedroom), but it was well into the afternoon judging by the sun and the cold.

Ben was downstairs by then. He was sitting comfortably on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket with Frankie in his lap. Poor Frankie. The little thing had been horrified by everything, even refusing her kibble from fretting about Ben. The little dog hadn't left his lap now, and Ben was glad of it. He was working on soup and sandwiches, which were warming him up a bit, and felt nice after his fast.

Gwil entered the house, looking like a madman. The rain had started as he came onto the driveway of the farm, but he was soaked. He looked over at Ben, he did look healthier, "We should probably talk."

"I agree." Ben shifted a little, setting a half eaten sandwich down to pet Frankie. "I'm… sorry I didn't tell you sooner about what happened. I just didn't want it to change things between us as friends, make us feel awkward. Not that I don't like you… you've really grown on me… but I didn't think you felt the same anyways, and I definitely didn't want something to happen between us to mess the movie up”

"You like me?" Gwil muttered under his breath, he had heard the other words, but only really homed into those ones. But that wasn't the exact wording, "So what are we now? Where do we go from here?"

"I don't know." Ben shook his head, looking back at Frankie again. He really didn't know. He'd never dated a costar, he hadn't dated anyone properly since he was in college, and he had no idea how they were gonna do this.

"Let's put it behind us. Try to forget it happened," as if he even remembered, but he wanted to be friends with Ben again, "But, I want you to know: I'm not like that. I really don't do that after just meeting someone."

"Of course. You're a good guy, Gwil." That sort of made him sad, though. He tried not to show it, but he couldn't help it. 'Forget it happened.' That was impossible. Ben should've just played along and told Gwilym how he felt, never told him about that night. They would be together instead of him and Martin.

"Sure." Ben nodded and forced a smile, even if it was a sort of sad, subdued smile.

"Okay," Gwil wanted to say more, but he wasn't sure where Ben stood, where he himself stood. He wanted Ben more than ever, he wanted to have that night again; but in different circumstances. He went to reach out to Ben, but stopped himself. "I should go get changed."

"Go." Ben nodded and didn't look up at him again. He felt sick again, the other sort of sick. He knew he'd messed everything up now.

Gwil decided to take a shower, sitting on the floor of it as the scathing water poured over his skin. He loved Ben. He really loved Ben.

He got out of the shower after a long time, slowly changing into some jeans and a jumper. He decided to call his mother back, he’d been short with her the other day and hadn’t contacted her at all since. He told her about what had happened - skipping the part about drunk sex - and that he was breaking it off with Martin. 

“… It doesn’t feel right. I don’t love him, it was supposed to be a distraction but it backfired… I don’t want to lead him on,” he saw someone standing in the doorway out the corner of his eye “Got to go, talk later though. Love you.”

This time it wasn't Ben, it was Joe. He wandered over, hands in pockets. Joe may have been with Ben a while, and Ben might've spilled out a few things, but he wasn't gonna betray him. "Was that the guy friend?" he asked casually, walking over.

"Summat like that, yeah," he didn't really want to explain everything to Joe "Is the film schedule changed any?" he tried to change the subject, not really wanting to talk about it.

"No, moving on as scheduled." Joe stood next to him. "Ben said he's definitely up for it now. Glad he bounced back."

"Yes, I was getting kinda worried about him last night," or massively worried, "Anyone else in the crew managed to catch the bug?" he looked at the American, he hoped everyone else was healthy knowing that it would have affected some of the older crew members a lot worse if they had it.

"No, we're all managing just fine, and we're up on our vitamins." Joe looked up at him. There was no easy way to try and bring something like this up, so he'd let it be for now. "Brian… I heard him say that the chemistry between you and Ben on set astounds him. Takes him back to him and Roger at that age. He even asked someone if you were really giving each other heart eyes or just too good at your job.

"I'll take that as a compliment," Gwil shook his head, "Some stuff happened between me and Ben. Long story."

"Do you still like him?” Joe pried gently. He sort of knew the answer already.

"Yes. As much as I want to not like him, and tried to not fall for a coworker, and attempted to distract myself with another guy. I do still like him," it was different to say it out loud to someone who knew both people. "But don't tell him, I don't need to ruin things more than I have."

Joe shook his head. "I won't tell him. But I will tell you that Ben doesn't seem as keen on the 'just friends' idea as you think. Might want to reconsider a few things, for both of your sakes."

Gwil looked at him confused: Ben liked him? 

"Did he actually say that?" That changed things, although he couldn't understand why Ben would even look at him after they'd shagged and Gwilym had effectively dismissed him (he didn't remember but still).

"Well..." Joe shifted a little. "He'd probably kill me if I gave you an explicit yes, but… I definitely wouldn't rule it out if I were you."

"Okay," Gwil nodded, "I'm gonna go down and speak to him... And if you're wrong and I make a bad situation worse, so help me Joseph, you'll be dead to me."

Joe put his hands up. "I'm not taking liability… good luck."

Surprising or not, Ben was on the phone when Gwil walked down. He was in the kitchen, alone, and leaning on the counter. His hands were shaking a little, and his voice was breaking up. 

"And… I-I don't even know what to do anymore," he whimpered softly. "I-I don't… I want to come home." Ben wiped his eyes quickly, shaking his head. "I can't leave, this is a dream… but it hurts so much..." Ben listened to whoever was on the end talk him down a bit, then nodded. He promised to visit as soon as he could, exchanged his 'love you too' and hung up. He just leaned on the counter after that, head in his hands.

Gwil stayed silent for a moment. But he'd had enough of not saying what he wanted, and Ben clearly was trying to get out, presumably calling a girlfriend or lover to come and get him. "You're leaving?"

"Of course I'm not leaving." Ben shook his head. He had forced himself not to jump when Gwil came in. "I can't leave all this, Gwil. This is amazing, I could never. My heart and soul are going into this movie."

"Then what's wrong? Cause one minute I think you hate me, and the next you act as if nothing had happened. And I know you regret that night - and so do I, just not how you think. Ben, please, I lo-" he stopped himself, his voice had started rising, emotions flaring, "I don't want this all to be my fault, Ben." It came out quietly, brokenly. He didn't look up, feeling his eyes well up.

"I've never hated you." Ben looked up at him. "I've always had a crush on you, since the first time I saw you. I've been pining since that night, and every sweet little thing you did, I tried to harden myself, because I knew it couldn't be… or I thought it couldn't. Every day my heart breaks a little more because I know you don't love me… or probably don't."

"I do love you. I've spent the last three months trying to pretend I didn't, distracting myself, ignoring you. Anything to tell myself I didn't love you. I hate myself for doing wrong by you when we first met, I want to just go back to square one." He still hadn't looked up, tears fully running down his cheeks.

Ben took his hands. He put their foreheads together gently. "Then let's do it," he said softly, gently tilting his head up and kissing him, softly and sweetly as he could.

Gwil kissed back, letting his hands wrap themselves in the short blond hair. He pulled away before it became too much, keeping Ben's body pressed into his larger frame. "I love you, Ben." He whispered into the blond's ear.

"I… love you too," Ben said back in a hushed voice. He wasn't sure if this would be more or less trouble, but he couldn't help himself anymore. It felt good. "We have the rest of the day, no one’s in the house… let's go give you something you can remember, shall we?'

"I like the sound of that," they disappeared upstairs, locking the door and taking their time: acting as if this was their proper first time together. 

Afterwards, both drenched in sweat and lying in each other's arms, panting softly. Gwil looked at the man next to him, fully expecting to wake up alone any minute, for this to have been a daydream. "So, what were you talking about, on the phone? Since you're not leaving, I don't really understand what it was about."

"I was talking about leaving." Ben shook his head. "My grandma called and I was in such a state that I poured my heart out, as I'd already done to Joe. I did want to leave, but I would never really leave. This project is too big for me. I've made a commitment and I'm sticking to it."

"Thank you... for staying. I don't think I could do this with anyone else," he drew small patterns on Ben's shoulder. "I'm sorry for the things I said, and for running off when you told me about that night."

"It's okay. I expected worse, really." Ben smiled softly. "But I'm glad we've worked out… we're not telling the others, though, are we? I mean… I feel like this should stay hush-hush, especially with the public in mind. At least for a good while."

"I'm not against keeping you as my little secret," he realizes that either sounded real suave, or real creepy. "Gonna be a fucking challenge with Joe wanting gossip."

"I'm sure Joe can handle it." Ben smiled at him, resting a hand on Gwil's cheek and brushing his thumb over it. "I wish we were filming bits where Brian had his beard. You look ravishing with facial hair, you know."

"I was thinking about growing it out, for the promos," they were still a good few months away from wrapping, but junkets and interviews had already been organised. "So I guess we're dating now."

"I guess we are." Ben smiled. "I like the sound of being boyfriends. Calling you babe, love… daddy." Ben gently leaned over, kissing his lips briefly. It felt good, gentle brushes of their lips, sending warmth all through Ben's chest.

Gwil felt his body twinge at 'daddy', he pulled Ben on top of him, the night was still young. "How about round two, darling?" His voice was husky as he ran his hands up Ben's sides.

"Seems someone's energetic," Ben purred softly, closing his eyes. It sent shivers over him, and he was softly biting his lip. "I'm certainly game if you are."

***

The next morning Gwil woke up first, watching the sun beams leak through the curtains and onto Ben's toned body (he couldn't have cared less what Ben looked like, but he had to admire the sculpted body, like an ancient Greek statue). They had to get up soon - hopefully before someone comes looking for them. "Hey..."

"Mmm..." Ben reached up, gently rubbing his forehead, eyes and looking over. The sight of Gwilym and the feel of the night before made him smile right away. "Morning, love," he added softly in his soft, sleepy voice. "How'd you sleep?"

"Like a log," Gwil stretched out, feeling his muscles complain about last night's goings on. "How're you this morning?"

"Just lovely." Maybe Ben was a bit sore, but he was far too happy to complain. Elated really. "We should tidy up and get downstairs to have some breakfast before anybody gets suspicious. Plus, we've got scenes to make up today, I'm sure my wig has missed me."

"Okay, I'll let you get a shower first, I'll go get us some tea," he also needed to see what scenes they were doing and which costumes they were wearing.

Ben nodded, smiling and kissing him quickly before heading off. He showered, quickly but thoroughly, and gave his hair a little blow dry before dressing himself in something easy and casual. 

Ben gave Frankie a gentle pet, taking her downstairs and letting him out, before joining Gwil in the kitchen, leaving the door open as he put the dog bowl on the floor. "What did you find out, Nelson?" Ben teased gently, poking his arm. He was referencing his role as D.S. Charlie Nelson, on his run with Midsomer Murder.

"Well, Mr Beale, we're filming the broken down campervan scene about five minutes down the road, and Roger and Brian want to talk to us," he didn't know what about, and part of him was scared they were going to complain about the portrayals, but he remembered what Joe had said about them liking their work.

"Oh… goodness." Ben looked down a bit nervously. "Out of the blue, that is. I mean… I know Brian was here the other day, played around a bit, but… like, will we have to be in costume still or after we've changed? Are we meeting them here?"

"I dunno about the costume, but I assume we'll have time to get changed. It doesn't sound like we're in trouble," Gwil tried to reassure Ben, "We are meeting them in the house though."

"Sounds… great then." Ben went into the fridge. "Fancy eggs on toast? I made notoriously lovely eggs, fluffy and perfect consistency."

"Oh you really are perfect, eggs on toast sounds great," he watched as Ben went around the kitchen, easily making everything just right for breakfast, "These taste delicious," he said tucking into it, "Almost as good as you taste." He added quietly, double checking no one could hear it except Ben.

Ben blushed softly, chuckling a bit and starting to snack on his own. "Cheers, thank you," he said softly, taking another bite. He was quite happy with it himself, knowing that he had a lot of little domestic perks about him. He might have gently given Gwil a few touches to the knee under the table, quietly exchanging a little glance once in a while (but made sure no one else was ever looking over).


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya, sorry for the late update there's been a lot on. I hope you're all enjoying this and love reading all the comments and feedback on it, feel free to say if you have any little ideas or anything either in the comments below or on my tumblr!
> 
> Thanks for reading and everything,  
> Love,  
> Pluto xxx

Ben was actually surprisingly happy to get dolled up in his outfit again. He piled in the van with the others, seeming pretty happy to travel with the others dressed up too. "The band is on tour." he joked playfully, bouncing a little and nudging Gwil gently.

The 'tour' literally stopped when they reached a clear straight road in a surprisingly flat area of Welsh countryside. They got out of the van and were set up to do the scene, feigning a breakdown by the side of the road.

"Looks like we're here, lads." 

Joe settled by one of the wheels, taking the wrench. He was fairly confused, not actually knowing how to change a tire, so that would help the scene. Ben stalked off to give them a little space, sandwich in hand. On cue, he wandered over in a huff. 

"We've sold out every pub and uni, and I'm stranded in the middle of nowhere, eating a ham sandwich," he said flatly, shaking his head. He was controlling himself, but he sort of wanted to laugh at himself. What a thing to bellyache about. At least he had a sandwich.

"It's anti clockwise," Gwil leaned over Joe, declining his offer to do it himself as he made his way to the front of the vehicle, listening to Rami's lines, putting on a disbelieving face, watching as Ben argued back at the idea of selling the van. He put his hand on Ben's chest, a sign of resignation.

Ben shook his head, looking down. Wow. Selling their tour van, to get one day in the studio. That didn't even seem like enough time to make an album. But… well… if the others agreed. "If this flops, I'm holding you all responsible," Ben stated, pointedly looking at both Rami and Gwil.

"It won't, darling." Rami said with a confident flare. The scene was cut with Rami disappearing behind the van, and Gwilym and Ben looking at each other.

Which meant that they were closer to their meeting with the last of Queen. 

They loaded back into the van, driving back up the road towards the house. "Have you two been asked to speak with Roger and Brian?" Gwil asked, assuming that they'd all been asked. Rami and Joe shook their heads. So it was just Ben and him that were going.

"Brilliant." Ben rubbed his hands together in his lap. He was still definitely nervous about this. Shame that Freddie and John weren't there, so Rami and Joe could understand the terror of confronting the person you'd been asked to portray.

They arrived back at the house, while Rami and Joe pinched one of the spare cars to go sightseeing, the other half of the band dashed off to get out of their wigs and costumes. They settled in the kitchen, nervously waiting, Gwil could see the blond chewing his lip; "Don't worry." He said reaching over to hold his hand.

"How aren't you worried?" Ben held his back, looking over. His big green eyes reminded Gwil of a child in a dentist's office, unsure and fretting. "It's bloody terrifying, even if they do have good news for us.”

Gwil was worried, fucking terrified to be honest. But Ben looked more scared and his natural instinct was to put on a brave face. Anyway, he'd gotten quite close to Brian, and whilst he was still a figure of authority, he'd become less worrying to Gwil. Before he could get a chance to answer, the door opened, revealing the old rockstars. Gwil and Ben's hands flew apart - a move that did not go unnoticed by the older men.

"Looks like you two are very committed to your roles," Roger noted, as he and Brian took their seats across from them. Ben nodded shyly. His cheeks were probably slightly pink from embarrassment, but he managed to keep the polite little smile on.

"Don't look so scared, you're not in shit," Brian nudged his husband under the table, a subtle way to tell him not to scare the actors, "We're actually here to commend you, excellent performances, both of you. But I must ask, this relationship, is it just for the cameras?"

"Mostly, yeah." Ben looked at Gwil. This didn't seem… like a good time? "I don't know, it's complicated." 

"Well don't be vague, give us the details." Roger insisted gently.

"We're both actors, what makes you think there's anything more to it?" He put his hand on Ben's thigh under the table, it wouldn't be seen and his boyfriend looked like he needed the reassurance. 

"Well, to be fair, you were holding hands a minute ago." Brian replied, an amused expression covering his features.

"Yes, and the look in your eyes seems a bit more that put on for the camera," Roger agreed. "I mean… hardly our business, even if we've been noting it from day one, lads." 

Ben looked at Gwil, a little unsure. He felt like Brian and Roger wouldn't tell anyone. It was a bit awkward but… why lie?

Gwil understood the look in the green eyes next to him. "Like Ben said, it's complicated," Who were they going to tell? They seemed more curious than anything else, "But yeah, it's more than just on camera."

"I knew it." Roger smiled. "The entire time?" 

"Well it's sort of just been mutual pining until quite recently," Ben replied, scratching his head. "But, uh… yeah."

Gwil noticed Brian giving Roger an 'I told you so' look. "That is technically less credit for acting," Brian said, jokingly - he found the whole thing kinda sweet - a younger version of them.

Ben had to smile a little at that. "To be fair, though, we were acting like we weren't massively crushing on each other this entire time as well." 

"Clearly you did a poor job," Roger reasoned with a chuckle. "But I'm glad it's worked out. Don't worry, we won't tell a soul."

They were surprisingly supportive of their relationship. Neither Gwil nor Ben mentioned their first encounter - that wasn't exactly polite conversation. By the time the elders were leaving it seemed as if they'd gained uncles. 

That was until Roger pulled Gwil aside; the shovel talk.

"Now then, you." Roger looked around to make sure they weren't being listened to. "I understand that you two really feel something, at least for now. So if and until there is some sort of mutual separation, I expect faithfulness and lots of affection. You can tell Ben needs it. And don’t think I don't understand having a row, I've had many myself with Brian, but please, keep yourself under control."

"Uh, y-yes sir," Gwil stuttered out nervously, he hadn't really spoken to Roger until that point, and the older man looked like he could snap him in half, even if he was shorter. "I love Ben, truly. I would do anything to keep him happy, give my life to protect him. I can't promise there'll be no arguments, but I can promise to be there for him - we've had enough misunderstandings as it is."

"That's a good man." Roger patted his shoulder, smiling softly. "Now have fun with it all. You two are quite a lovely couple, you know. Picture perfect as me and Bri… well, not quite, but you come in second for sure.”

"Thank you." Gwilym watches as he walked away, his body going limp as he leaned heavily on the wall, he meant every word he'd said - as cliche as they all were, he was more than willing to give Ben his all - after months of denial, the sudden urge to love deeper than ever before hit him hard.

Ben said his goodbyes to the visitors before walking to Gwil. He wasn't sure whether to be concerned or chuckle. "I hope Roger didn't scare you too badly." He mused, resting a hand on Gwil's shoulder gently.

"I shouldn't be too bad after some therapy," he said back, smiling. In reality he had understood Roger's words and realised he didn't need to be scared - he wasn't planning on cheating. An idea struck him, "We've got the rest of the afternoon off, don't we?"

"I… we do, yeah." Ben smiled and nodded. That seemed promising. "What do you have in mind, love?"

"Why don't we take the other car?" The crew had some cars spare from bringing all the different trailers in that weren't being used. "Why don't we just drive off for the rest of today? Go to a nice restaurant, wine under the stars, no need to hide, no pretending and no interruptions."

"That sounds lovely." Ben kissed his cheek. "I'll go get myself together. Meet outside in fifteen?"

Gwil nodded, going to find where the car keys were being held. He found a picnic blanket and some wine glasses for later (they could buy the wine later). "I think there's a dog attachment if you want to bring Frankie."

"Oh yeah, she'd love to get out." Ben picked up the dog from where she was napping on the bed, grinning and kissing her head. "We're going out on a date, lovely. I hope you've freshened up." 

Ben made sure he had a jacket and he had his other things together before heading down to meet Gwil. He'd bring a bag of dog food and the bowls for Frankie, so she could have dinner with them.

Gwil drove the pair up the country lanes, watching the sunlight (what was left of it in the early afternoon) hit the green fields around them. They passed the valley country as they approached a small centuries-old town, the kind with winding streets and cobbles. Gwil parked in the square, seeing a nice little Italian restaurant - nothing overly fancy, but nice looking.

"How long can we leave Frankie by herself for?" Gwil looked at the sleeping puppy, the car wasn't too hot so she would be fine in that respect.

"Uh… probably good for the hour." Ben pet her gently. "I wouldn't leave her for more than ninety minutes, though she probably won't even realize we were gone to be quite honest. Just… lead the way, babe."

"I don't think we'll be that long minutes," Getting out of the car and opening Ben's door for him, kissing his cheek. "It'll be a nice, romantic date and all. Can't believe it took us so long to work things out."

"Does make you feel like a nonce, doesn't it?" Ben shook his head, smiling and taking Gwil's hand. He didn't think there was any possibility they might be recognized, so he was quite comfortable asking for their table for two and getting sat down. Ben nipped at a bit of tanke bread, letting Gwil pick the wine (anything red) and focusing on looking over the entres.

"Barolo sound good?" Gwil asked, looking up from the wine menu, watching Ben nod, (rather he watched Ben bite his lip) he picked some food for himself and ordered up. "So how did you end up practically being adopted by Roger?" Gwil asked as they waited for the food.

"I have no bloody clue." Ben shook his head. "Maybe it's just… seeing himself in my shoes a bit. I've never talked to him much myself, just when I had that one small drumming lesson while we were setting up Live Aid. I never knew he'd turn into such a mama bear over me."

"I think it's nice," Gwil admitted. He was happy they were getting to know each other a bit better. They did already know quite a lot, but there were still lots of bits and pieces that were missing - especially since the awkwardness had driven them apart. "Well, nice to the point of being scared shitless by him."

"He can be quite the intimidating fellow, huh?" Ben took another bite of the bread. "Like… it's like, Father Christmas is always a bit scary. And then you make him angry and give him Roger's drumming arms..." He shuddered playfully.

"You're lucky: I don't think Brian's going to have a go at you," The waiter came and dropped the food off, earning a 'thank you' from the couple. "Still, it's nice what they have. I'm not onabout the fame or money or anything like that. They're just happy; together for years, a bunch of kids, several grandkids." He hoped that much like the older couple saw their younger selves in Ben and him, that he would be able to see their future in the older couple.

"Yeah, they do have quite a lovely story. Brings people together, like us." Ben started tucking into his plate. He'd gone for a good penne dish, a good dollop of sauce spread over it. He munched contently, keeping the conversation going casually.

They chatted away happily as they finished their meal. Yes, they had begun their relationship in the most convoluted way possible. Yes, they had nearly broken each other along the way. But it was worth it now, even if it was still early doors. 

"How about we take some dessert to-go and go walking for a bit?"

"Sounds lovely," Ben agreed. He looked over the options again, to see what drew him. "I'm quite intrigued by the molten chocolate cake myself. Something we could share."

Gwil liked the idea of that, plus he needed some time to burn off the alcohol before he could drive (he'd only had one glass for this exact reason). They collected their desert and headed out of the restaurant, collecting the puppy from the car.

Ben had Frankie on her leash, only so as to not get into trouble. He didn't know regulations, but though Frankie was never far from his heels, he didn't want to take any chances. They meandered up a small hill in a grassy area, finding a spot to settle and look up at the sky, which was now littered with stars. It was a whole new way to view the stars, a new angle and no smog from the city to obstruct the natural dust and lights of the cosmos.

Gwil took out the picnic blanket, draping it onto the grass, letting them both lie down on top of it - Frankie taking a spot between them. He put the dessert down too, both tucking into it. "I love this... Us."

"I do too." Ben smiled, taking another bite and humming softly at the warm, melty chocolate taste. "We've turned into a Hallmark movie, and I quite like it as well. It feels right. Me and you… and you too, don't get jealous," He promised Frankie as the little pup pressed up against his side.

Gwil stroked the dog, glad that Frankie had taken to him. "So what if it's stereotypical?" He mused, thinking. "It's likely gonna make the rest of the shoot funner, though."

"You think so?" Ben nodded. "I mean, we'll be a lot less awkward now I imagine. Might be tricky to tone down the PDA in front of the others, but I'm sure we can manage it. Not to mention breaks being more fun… you could even stay in my flat when we shoot in the studios in London again."

"I'd like that," he pressed a kiss onto Ben's temple. "I don't know if we're anywhere near mine, maybe for the Ray Foster scenes, but you could come round to mine... it would be nice to show you around."

"Yeah, I'd be up for that," Ben agreed. Anytime he'd get to hang around with Gwilym was enough for him. He was quite curious about Gwil's place anyways, how he decorated and all. "I'm sure we'll at least pop in when we get time off."

He was pretty sure they were getting a two week holiday at the halfway point of the shoot- to make up for the intense filming schedule. They had finished eating a while ago, just staring up into the sky constantly, holding hands. "We should go soon, it's gonna get cold and you're probably still recovering from the illness."

"I brought a jacket… but you're probably right anyways." Ben tugged the jacket closer at that, enjoying the coziness of it all. He scooted a little closer to Gwil too, then glanced up. "Look… falling stars, Gwil," he mused softly, reaching up at pointing out some streaks.

"Make a wish, darling." He kept his silent; they'd been dating for a day, he was too embarrassed to say out loud he wished it would last forever. But in his own childish way he had already started to imagine the rest of his life with Ben.

"I don't know what else I could wish for." Ben slipped his hand into Gwil's. He already had a dream guy and a dream job, he couldn't picture anything else. He leaned in, kissing him softly, but slowly and lingering against him. It felt good, really good, and he did hope it would last.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya, as always all comments and kudos are welcome and I hope you all enjoy this installment.

Filming was going quite smoothly now. Ben was no longer iffy around Gwil, and he was generally happier. The days at the farm were complete and they were back on sets, but Ben was still having a lovely time. And in his free time, he was with Gwil. They stayed in hotels together, Ben's flat, even Gwil's. Everything seemed to be going smoothly, almost too smoothly, but Ben didn't question it for now.

Everything was good, despite adjusting to a secret relationship and one awkward phone call to Martin (they had agreed to stay friends). They were at Gwil's that night; lying in bed together. So far they'd been lucky that no one had worked them out (ignoring the sly looks Brian and Roger threw them when they visited the set). It was the night before the midpoint break was to start.

"I'm guessing you're visiting your folks then."

"Oh." Ben hadn't thought about that at all. Yeah… he should have that in mind, shouldn't he? Saying hi to his folks, they probably missed him. "Yeah, I reckon so… at least pop in for tea, say hi to my nan and all. I guess I hadn't really planned on it."

"You seem a bit distracted lately, babe, everything okay?" Gwil turned in bed to come face to face with his love, resting his hand on Ben's side. He could faintly hear Frankie scuffling around in his sleep in the corner of the bedroom.

"Yeah, I'm doing alright," Ben promised, nodding and smiling a little. "I guess I've just been thinking about us a lot. Nothing particular about us, just us in general. It's like nothing I've ever felt before… I've never been in love, never felt this way about anyone and I just… it seems too good to be true."

"I know what you mean, I think. I keep expecting to wake up one morning and everything's gone; nothing happened and it was all a dream." he moved closer to Ben, "Kinda like I'm expecting it to all go wrong."

"But we won't let that happen, yeah?" Ben smiled softly, biting his lip with a bit of nerves creeping on him, but still seemed hopeful. He had to keep at it. He was helplessly in love and there was nothing he could do but try and make it work.

"Of course. I don't plan on leaving you for the world," he genuinely loved their relationship, but he felt they'd do well if they had a break from hiding it all the time, "How about we go somewhere? Just for a few days, just the two of us. No hiding, no film, no press."

"Yeah… yeah, that sounds great, love." Ben grinned and nodded, smiling brightly and resting his hand on Gwil's. "A holiday would be lovely. Just gotta figure out where we can tuck away to... what about Ibiza?"

"Party island? Sounds fun." Gwil hadn't been since he was a student, but another visit would be decent. "I'll try to work everything out in the morning." He said tiredly, letting himself yawn.

"I was thinking, uh… maybe I can ask Roger to use his place up there." Ben ran a hand through his hair. "I know he was a nice place and he only uses it off and on. Since they're sort of on tour right now, maybe we could stay there."

"It would be private... No one else around that area," he knew Ibiza was packed usually, and that was part of why it was nice. But a little retreat away from it all wouldn't go amiss.

"Exactly." Ben kissed his cheek. "I'll get in touch with him for us, babe, see what he says. You make us some coffee in the meantime." 

Ben made a little phone call, after making sure Roger was in the right time zone for him not to interrupt sleep or anything. It was a pleasant little catch up chat, and Roger was more than happy to lend them the flat. He told them where the spare key was hidden and the best spots to hit. Ben was thrilled, and they were packing as soon as he hung up.

The flight was booked for that weekend, a spontaneous trip abroad. 

Gwil had assumed the early morning airport time was going to be quiet, well as quiet as Heathrow got. But when they got there, some journalists were inside. He doubted that they were looking for anyone specific as much as just someone off the telly. 

"I think we should try to avoid them." he said, wheeling the suitcases.

"Agreed." Ben kept his head down being as inconspicuous as possible. He wasn't the most popular actor at least, somewhat notable, but only one part in a movie and one series to his name. Still, no need to get caught.

Gwil walked alongside Ben - desperately wanting to reach out and grab his hand, but that would only make things worse. They were nearly past them when they heard a ruckus behind them. 

"Do you have anything to say on Bohemian Rhapsody?"

"Is Rami Malek the best man for the job?"

"What are you doing here together?"

Ben just shook his head and kept walking. No time for them. When they got through security, they'd be clear, so he pulled his stucco over to the area, Gwil on his heels.

"They're just bloodthirsty, aren't they?" he noted, taking a seat by their flight gate.

"I think we caught them by surprise, for once. I doubt their cameras were ready," even if they had been ready, what news could they get? Two actors travelling? Not as if that's part of their job or anything, and since anyone with instagram would have seen - they're all friends. Travelling together wasn't extraordinary (especially for the two Brits).

"Nasty buggers regardless."

"Yeah. Certainly hope there aren't any where we're going." Ben sort of doubted it. They wouldn't be expected there, hopefully they'd be staying out of the public eye. He pet Franke gently through the carrier. "At least it's not too long a flight from here anyways. I've been looking through movie options on their app thing."

"Whatcha thinking, Benny?" He was about to say 'babe' but stopped himself in time. In the few months they had watched loads of different films, no particular genre or era linking them, (although he guessed it might be a children’s film). They could only check in their bags, the desk was still not open so they had some time to kill.

"I dunno, something fun." Ben looked over. "Maybe a comedy? Or a musical? Something with a bit of both perhaps. Like, uh… how about the muppets movie with Amy Adams?"

"We can start it up now. Although if the next one is my choice I'm saying Shrek," Well, when he said all genres - it was mostly kids movies, occasionally moving to something as advanced as Star Wars or Marvel.

"I like the way you think." Ben playfully poked his cheek with a little smile and a wink. "Should be a nice, relaxing flight. And Ibiza is gonna be a blast, I just know it." Ben had great things in mind. Time on the beach, time in the shops, restaurants. And of course there would be indoor plans, for the bed primarily.

They talked a bit longer, eventually finishing the film just before boarding the plane. They had a nice ride ahead of them, spacey dual seats that had privacy screens. Not quite first class, but nice for the quick flight.

"Hope you don't get nervous on flights: I am not joining the mile high club as a way to distract you."

Ben laughed softly, shaking his head. "Oh don't be ridiculous. I'd never propose the idea, nor condone it, but to each their own I s'pose." He had to leave Frankie in cargo, the poor thing, but he held Gwil's hand, taking the window seat and letting Gwil have more leg room towards the aisle. After taking his little snack and water, he was settled in and their in-flight movie entertainment began.

By the time the fairytale creatures had found the swamp, Gwil made sure he had put the separators down, he was resting his head on Ben's - which was on his shoulder, and he had picked up the blond's legs to drape them over his own when Lord Farrquad set the quest. 

"Watching these films all day is the only reason anyone needs to have kids," He mused watching the screen, "Well, that and playing in parks again."

"I get to do that with the dog… but yeah, I suppose that's a good perk of the little guys." Ben nodded a little. He didn't think about having kids much, but he did love kids. He liked playing with them, cuddling, a lot of things about them. Not that he got to interact with them too much, but once in a while he'd get lucky and there'd be a few at a family get together. Still… well, maybe someday. But he was gay, he didn't think he'd be ready to adopt for quite a while now.

Gwil didn't think anything of his comment. In his mind, the few times he'd thought about it, if him and Ben were still serious five or six years down the line they could adopt a baby. But he was just as happy to get a bunch of pets and live like that.

They arrived in Ibiza before they knew it. Ben grabbed Frankie from the bagging area, more than happy to let the little guy out to stretch and catch up with him. They got their Uber and went off to the house, one that Roger had furnished well and had kept in a pretty prime, private little location. It couldn't have been better.

Seeing as they had got there pretty early in the day, there was still a lot of time to be had on the first day. "Well, rough plan; unpack, get some lunch, stroll on the beach and then see how many rooms we can... break in?"

"Sounds perfect." Ben had underestimated how much Gwil was excited for...that. "But we have to make sure Frankie isn't scared. Gotta keep her in separate rooms, yeah?"

"Of course, Ben. But like I said, how about we unpack and let her get a feel for the house, yeah?" Gwil helped get some of Frankie's traveling things laid out.

Ben nodded and picked up their bags. "I'll take these back to the bedroom for us, make sure they have spare sheets and all." They were gonna have to leave this place clean, or Ben would be extremely embarrassed. Roger probably already predicted it, but no need to rub it all in.

They were walking on the beach later that day, after having dumped their stuff and eaten lunch and made use of the bedroom and shower.

Frankie was running around on a lead ahead of them, the sun beating down on them both. "Nice to feel the sunshine for once."

"Isn't it?" Ben nodded, adjusting his shades gently. He hadn't been to a beach in ages, and as England was always so damn gloomy, it was a really nice change. Plus, these were nice, clean beaches, not like some he had been to in the past. "I'm really glad you came up with this little holiday idea. It's exactly what I needed and I had no idea."

"Thought we could do with some rest, anyway - I reckon we've earned it," he could feel the hot sun start to burn his arms a bit, but he didn't care. Too caught up in the view, the glorious beaches, marvelous blue skies, sexy boyfriend.

Ben had certainly made himself comfortable, in shorts and a loose button down shirt, with short sleeves. He was pretty pale himself, but a little color never hurt. Well… it did, but he'd also used some sun lotion earlier, thinking ahead.

"I might have to invest in something like this myself someday," Ben mused. "A little beach getaway for the private times. This is making me really consider it."

"You could, you know - future's ahead of you," he knew seven years age difference wasn't much compared to loads of others, but still enough for him to take the piss at times.

"Oh come off it." Ben elbowed him gently, unable to restrain from breaking into a huge grin at that. He hardly even acknowledged the age gap. If anything it made him a bit more excitable. Older. More experience.

Gwil decided to play along with it for a bit, "What is someone like you doing with an old man like me? Needed a sugar daddy?" he's laughing as he said it, nudging Ben back at the absurdity of the image.

"Not that I'm opposed," he began. "But for a moment, let's think about which one of us is best known by British mums, and which one of us is also in a major motion picture for Marvel studios." Ben was only taunting him. He loved Gwil's work, he was a fantastic actor. It was still a low key flex though.

"Never underestimate the power of a middle aged woman, Ben. Anyway - search up 'Peter Beale' on some of the chat room pages. The things they'd do to you!" He'd got bored one afternoon before him and Ben had gotten together. "So what? You're my sugar daddy?"

"No, not at all. You can buy your own dinner for all I care." Ben shook his head, slipping his other hand in his pocket now. No, he'd called Gwil that a few times already. Minus the sugar on top. Honestly he hadn't seen himself as being passive for a long time, but once he'd tried it, he didn't go back. (Not that he really had experience the other way either, but he was glad he'd found out sooner than later).

Gwil laughed at that. He was more experienced than Ben in that respect - he had tried it both ways, but he had a deep preference for being the... prominent one. "Well, seeing as you got the accommodation sorted for us, why don't I buy us both dinner tonight?"

"Sounds lovely, dear," Ben agreed, kissing his cheek and stopping to look over the ocean for a moment. Frankie had paused too, sniffing at something unknown - probably just seaweed, but might as well enjoy the moment anyways. It really was a pretty spot. The water was perfectly blue, sparkling from the lowering afternoon sun. The waves were gentle today, sliding up and down the edge of the sand and leaving little bits of shells and plants here and there. 

"You think we'll end up going for a swim? Maybe tomorrow?" Ben wasn’t hugely into ocean swimming, but he'd at least get wet.

"I should think so. It'll be warm and gentle - perfect for just staying in the water all afternoon," Gwil picked up a bit of stick, throwing it for Frankie to go chase - noticing his arms were more burnt than before - and petting the dog when it was brought back to him. "Still, the night life's pretty good too."

"Yeah? Maybe moonlight dip then, after dinner some night if we're ambitious." Ben could imagine that it would still be warm down there, pretty moonlit and peaceful. "  
"I think Frankie will just sleep on the sand through that, though," he added. "Not really a water dog, this one. I'm surprised she even went for the stick, lazy little sod.”

By the end of their first day on the island, they had actually decided to go back to the house and save the exploring for another day- the early morning and traveling had made them both quite tired. They decided to relax in the hot tub with some champagne before bed.

"Thank you for coming with me."

"Thank you for asking me along." Ben smiled brightly and gently clinked their glasses together before taking a sip. It really was sort of a dream come true here, a bit of paradise. "I'm glad it's worked out well so far. I'll be looking up some good spots for us to...hold on." Ben glanced at his phone, giggling a little. "Roger's apparently got me covered. The topic of the email is 'best spots to hit up'."

"You'd think neither him or Brian had anything to do all day," he noticed Brian had taken to commenting on his Instagram posts and that Ben pretty much had Roger wrapped around his little finger. "What looks good?"

"Let's see." Maybe they had a day off on the tour. Or maybe Roger had a list prepared. "Hmm… these restaurants look pretty nice, this one supposedly has good breakfast.... guided jet ski tour? Roger Taylor rides around on a jet ski?" That was a picture. There were also kayaks and other guided boat tours but… fucking jet skiing? At his age?

"He looks like exactly the sorta person I associate with something that mental," Gwil said, scuttling over to see the phone screen, "There's some historical stuff, spas, loads of different clubs - we could hit up a few of them at some point."

"Yeah, I'm all about having a dance and a drink at some sorta rave." Ben actually quite liked club scenes once in a while. Dancing… well he wasn't good at it, not particularly, but he just liked to mess around. It was a good time, what could he say? As long as the music was decent and all.

Gwil quite enjoyed clubbing, the music was never his type, but he could mix into the atmosphere. "It's getting pretty late, Ben." He had seen the time on the phone screen.

"Oh yeah. Should probably go get some sleep." Ben nodded and finished his champagne, getting up and stretching a little. He grabbed a towel as he stepped out, starting to dry off his torso before heading inside. Frankie was napping on the floor, perking up when Ben walked in and following him back to the bedroom.

Gwil decided it was too hot to try sleep wearing very much, so he didn't. He settled under the thin sheets, watching Ben with Frankie, awestruck by the beauty he had somehow managed to get to love.

Ben changed from his swimming shorts into his boxers and a white tank top. He slipped in beside Gwil, while Frankie settled in his little cushions near the bedside table. "This is quite nice… feel like a proper couple for once." Ben slipped his hand into Gwil's, giving it a little squeeze.

"We can be just us here," he squeezed Ben's hand back, "I guess at some point we'll have to bite the bullet and tell the world, but until then I don't see any reason to. It makes these moments more special."

"It certainly does. I think… it'll always be something to look back at. Our thing, just for us." Ben kissed his cheek gently, smiling sweetly and nodding along. "I'm sure we'll be accepted and all, but this can be our thing for a while yet. Maybe till the hype of the movie blows over a bit, I don't know. Guess it'll just feel right to come out and say it eventually."

"I know, love, I know," he settled into the bed, letting the lights go off and feeling Ben close by (it was too hot for the snuggling they usually did). "I can really see us working, in the long run." He'd been scared to admit it before then, it sounded so definite, so forward.

"I do too… really I do." Ben nodded and closed his eyes, still smiling softly. He could picture it, him and Gwil having a place of their own, ending up having a nice wedding and all. Maybe they could have Queen play at the reception, Brian give them a little acoustic number. If… if they could get him to get a license and perform the ceremony even… what a picture.

Gwil had never imagined himself getting married, perhaps because he grew up when that wasn't an option. But he could see it now, with Ben, he could see himself proposing and watching the blond walking down the aisle.

Ben fell asleep in no time beside him, smiling softly as he rested. But the smile faded when his dreams started. Ben wasn't sure what was wrong, but he was in pain, the worst pain of his life. He was gasping and panting, basically screaming. What was this? What happened? He could hear Gwil's voice somewhere, possibly others, but all he knew was that it hurt so much, and he didn't know if he was going to be okay. Ben sat straight up with a gasp. He looked around, seeing Gwil there and catching his breath a bit. Ben sighed in a shaky way, running his fingers through his hair as Frankie whined a little, hopping up to cuddle him gently.

Gwil had only just managed to go to sleep when he heard Ben stirring. To be honest, he thought his boyfriend was just playing silly buggers, he didn't react for a while waiting for Ben to give up. But he just got louder - that couldn't be a joke. He turned in bed to look at Ben just as he started screaming, "Ben? Love, wake up!" He grabbed Ben's shoulder as he shot bolt upright. "What was that? Do you want to talk about it?"

Ben shook his head, chewing his lip. It wasn't okay. It was… threatening. It felt so real. He didn't know what to do, he just… melted against Gwilym, burying his face in his chest and crying softly into his shirt.

Gwil pulled him closer. "It wasn't real, baby. You're right here, with me." He let Ben bury his head in the crook of his neck, feeling tears and sniffles. He held Ben tightly , reassuring him that whatever happened in the nightmare wasn't there. "I'm never gonna let anything bad happen to you, Ben, you're safe with me." Although he did hope Ben talked about it, he wasn't planning on pushing the boundaries.

"M'sorry… all worked up over nothing. Just a stupid dream." Ben sniffed a little, pulling away a bit to wipe his eyes and calm himself down a bit more. "I didn't want to wake you up or anything. It just... felt really real."

"It's alright, I don't want you to be scared alone," Gwil squeezed his knee, letting them both recline back on the mattress a bit, "Was it a stress dream?" Was Ben working himself too hard for this film? Gwil had thought that when he'd had that fever, his main concern had been the film, but it was brushed off; everyone was stressed about the film. But mayhaps it was affecting Ben badly?

"No, nothing like that...I don't know what was happening. I just know I was hurt, badly, enough to get me basically screaming. I was crying, it was dark, you were there but I hardly felt you and...I don't know. I can't even explain it, but it just felt real." Ben really had no idea. Was he to be in an accident? Was someone going to attack him?

"I'm never gonna let you get hurt, my love," Gwil reiterated, letting him get comfortable but leaving the bedside light on (he'd switch it off when Ben got to sleep). He could feel Frankie wriggling between the two of them, the puppy claiming the middle of them bed for the night.

Ben treasured the feeling of his little pup against his chest. He kept in hand in Gwil's, scooping around Frankie gently with the other. Between Gwilym and Frankie, he was able to doze off once more.


	11. Chapter 11

Gwil woke up again, this time much later on, the morning sun already high in the sky. Frankie was lying across his chest, face to face with Ben, who was curled around him. He closed his eyes, letting himself feel the warmth of his boyfriend and the puppy.

Ben didn't stir for a bit. It was Frankie who eventually woke him, when the pup decided to get up and stretch, unknowingly brushing over Ben's nose with her tail. He rubbed his face, opening his eyes just a bit. Ben couldn't help smiling, seeing Gwil first thing. "Morning, my love." he said softly, giving him a soft morning kiss.

"Morning," he was rough sounding despite having been awake a while. He sat up slowly allowing Frankie to move off him and disentangling his limps from Ben's. "Did you sleep better afterwards?"

"Yeah, wonderfully. Thanks to you, of course." Ben nodded and shifted a bit, onto his back. He stretched a bit, running his fingers through his hair. Amazing what a man and a little dog could accomplish really. He felt ready to face the day. Or, well, he would as soon as he had woken up a bit.

“Breakfast?" The only downside to not using a hotel was the cooking. But given Roger had got someone to furnish the fridge and they were eating out most nights it wasn't really a big deal. He was still worried about Ben, but it looks like it was a one off.

"Yes, that sounds perfect." Ben was actually pretty hungry at this point. Maybe midnight excitement had done that to him. "Let's go poke around and see what we can do." Ben walked downstairs, letting Frankie out back for his morning stretch. He investigated the fridge briefly, nodding along. "How about eggs with fried sweet potatoes?"

Gwil nodded, smiling. He let Ben cook as he scrolled through his phone. The pictures taken at the airport had made some of the smaller news outlets, but hadn't exactly become important news.

"So apparently I'm cheating on my secret girlfriend and you're in on it." He read the headline, laughing at how far the journalist had gone wrong.

"Oh dear lord." Ben chuckled softly and shook his head. "Absolutely rubbish. Shows you how much they know." Ben scrambled the eggs, making his into a sandwich. He fried the thin cut sweet potatoes in a pan on the stove and served them with a bit of salt and ketchup. "Enjoy," he said, bowing a bit and sitting beside him to eat his own. He gave just a drop of scrambled egg to Frankie as a treat. It was good for her.

"Thank you, my lovely, brilliantly cooked as always," not that Gwil couldn't cook at all, he just tended to burn things and didn't really know how to cook the variety of things Ben could. They finished up eating, and headed back towards the beach with their swimming trunks.

"This should be fun, assuming we don't encounter any… creatures out there." Ben slipped his sandals off, finding a good rock to tuck his shirt and shoes under. He gave Frankie a little pet, doubting that he was going to come too close to the water, maybe to the edge before he got scared.

"I doubt anything wants to go so close to where there's so many humans wandering around," Gwil said, doing the same with his clothes and following Ben into the warm water, "Maybe the odd jellyfish or stingray though." those were the only creatures he'd ever seen in these waters, and although they could hurt, they weren't really dangerous.

"Yeah, hopefully he doesn't sniff up one of those." Ben scratched the dog's head, ruffling his ears gently. "You be good, Frankie. I'll be right nearby." He walked to the edge of the water with Gwil after that, getting in to about his waist for now.

Gwil got in a bit deeper, going further to feel the water lap at about mid chest, he ducked under, opening his eyes. Everything was clear - no jellyfish or other nasties swimming about, and the sun lanced in brightening the floor of it. He dove up eventually (not that he was particularly deep to begin with) "No sharks."

"Cheers." Ben smiled and slipped under himself, getting out to where Gwil was before long. He popped up before him, feet just touching the ground (there was the height difference). He opted to gently tread water instead, looking up at him and smiling. "Lovely weather we're having." he mused playfully,

Gwil stepped towards Ben, snaking an arm around his waist. "I think it's meant to get hotter." he brought his lips towards the blond's, taking in the taste of the salt water and feeling the hot sun on his back.

Ben kissed him back, savoring the slight salt to the taste. The wetness only eased the way their mouths slipped in sync with each other. He found himself putting his arms carefully around Gwil's neck, making sure he wasn't tugging him down as he slowly deepened the kiss, parting his lips.

Gwil slid his other hand down to squeeze lightly on Ben's ass. He was careful not to take it further: they were in a public place after all. He pulled back, breathing hard and looking into the gorgeous green eyes in front of him (darker than normal with the pupils large). "You're my everything, Benny."

"And you're mine, babe." Ben reached up, delicately brushing the back of his fingers over Gwil's cheek and jaw. It almost felt an understatement to say he was in love. He was the happiest he'd ever been in his life.

Gwil grabbed his hand, kissing his fingers and palm. Was this it? was this how he'd spend the rest of his life? he hoped it was, this was the best thing to ever happen to him, Ben was specifically. And they nearly ruined it by taking too long in noticing. "Come away with me?"

"Nothing would make me happier," Ben replied, not even a trace of uncertainty. It was true. He couldn't imagine a better scenario. Hopefully he could convince Gwil that moving in together would be best for them after the press tour and all. He didn't think he could bear much more separation than that.

"I'm moving after the junkets," he'd been planning it for a while, but he was waiting until the lease on his flat expired - he had more than enough for a house, but until recently hadn't seen the point of living in a house by himself. "Not far, but you know..."

"Oh… closer to my area?" Well, that was something. A new house. Ben had never lived in one; He'd only bought his flat after he finished up at art school, courtesy of some theater shows he'd done to help him pay it off. Student loans, he still had a few, but X-Men was assisting with that quite a bit, no doubt this project would as well.

"Dunno yet, but I was wondering..." he had to ask- it was waiting that nearly ruined them the last time- but he was nervous: he'd never been in a relationship this significant before, and even if it was still a young romance, there was time before he moved. "You could... you know, live with me?"

Ben took a moment to absorb it. He… He just asked… it was like he read his mind. He nodded quickly, breaking out into another smile and hugging him tightly as he could. It was a wonder he didn't tackle him into the water. "Yes, yes!" he cheered softly, laughing when Gwil picked him up and spun him around gently.

SHIT. He actually agreed. He had Ben pressed up against his chest so that he was looking up at Ben face. "Really? Really really?" Ben nodded, smiling so Gwil could see his teeth behind those pink lips (which he brought down towards his own again). In the distance he could see Frankie looking at them as if she had gotten a little bored of the pair and their shenanigans.

Ben kissed him back, hand resting on Gwil's face again to gently cup his cheek as he kissed him back. He didn't even care about them being in public in that moment, safe as the beach was. He was in love, deeply and truly in love, and he could hardly wait to further explore this new chapter in their lives. 

"We better pack your bags, pup," he called in Frankie's direction gleefully. "We'll be moving when we're wrapped and done."

"Like I said, I still need to find a place, but yeah. Looks like we're going to be a proper couple," he'd eyed up a few properties before he left for filming (but at the time he'd dismissed them since he was a bachelor). He didn't know what was still on the market, but he had about half a year to look. "We can get one with a big garden for Frankie to run around in." Not that Frankie was the 'run-around' type, but she did enjoy being outdoors.

"Yes, make it pretty with flowery bushes and all, like the garden lodge." Ben nodded in agreement, leaning on him gently. "It's going to be wonderful... imagine what Brian and Roger will say when they find out." 

Or Rami and Joe for that matter. Ben knew they'd have to come out to their friends, eventually. He still had his reservations. As soon as the filming was done, that would feel about right. He sensed that Joe sort of already knew, but Rami sure didn't and he felt that were being secretive enough that people hadn't picked it up

"They'll likely love it, pair of old ladies they are," he held Ben's hands under the water, interlocking their fingers. "I'd like to be that one day, with you."

"I would too. What a couple of role models they are." Ben wouldn't be surprised if he had a few texts or emails from Roger when he returned to the cabin honestly. Those two were quite intent in checking in on them, it seemed. "You wanna go out and explore local restaurants after a while? I've got quite the list of recommendations."

"Anything you want, darling." They spent a while longer in the water, splashing around and talking about their relationship and future. 

They toweled off and headed into the nearby small town area. Ben picked out a spot that had plenty of outdoor seating and they could just order from a window out front. Ben went for a burger with a basket of fries, getting himself some sort of fruity alcoholic drink, trying to be in the vacation spirit.

"Having fun, Benjamin?"

"No one's called me Benjamin since I was sixteen and in deep trouble." Ben chuckled softly. "Hmm… seems like a good time for some lunch." 

Gwil ordered a steak with a piña colada, holding his glass up to Ben's "Cheers." 

He tore off a bit of his lunch (it was a lot anyway) and held it out to Frankie. "I can't imagine you at sixteen being that much of a bad boy." 

"Oh yeah?" Ben chuckled softly. biting his lip. "I in fact wasn't. But… well everyone fucks up sometimes, don't they? And I did. I made the enormous mistake of… I… mymumfoundporninmyroom."

Gwil burst out laughing, choking on his drink a little, eventually calming down to look up at Ben again, but the indignation on Ben's face sent him into another fit. "Really, Ben? I thought better of you." He said as if that hadn't happened to everyone including him.

"It wasn't even mine," Ben defended. "I had… a few mates on my rugby team planted it to get me in trouble. I was a goddamn idiot letting them into my house with anything of the sort. I saw porn, once, when I was… maybe thirteen and then I was absolutely against it. It… was gross, I don't know. I didn't even have… well I was a virgin for a fair bit of time past puberty anyway."

Gwil thought about it for a minute - he had assumed Ben was one of those kids who got some pretty early on. "If it makes you feel any better, I had my fair share of embarrassing encounters in my teens. Including porn."

"No, but you were a cute kid and teenager," Ben mused. "I bet you were able to get out of getting into any real trouble, just gave them an award winning pout and slunk off to play Nintendo or Sega."

"The pouting worked to a point. I mean, if you want my coming out story for example. I was fifteen, My parents had gone out for the day with my siblings; doesn't often happen. So I put on some gay porn on my computer. Finished up just as my entire family - Grandparents included - walking into my room wondering what the noise was. That's how they found out." He went slightly red as he remembered looking at the eyes flickering between him and the screen.

"Oh goodness, Gwil." Ben shook his head. He couldn't even imagine. That would just be… a horror story, he couldn't comprehend. "Wow… well that's one way to do it I s'pose. I guess… well… for me, I… haven't." 

To be honest, Ben had been struggling with his sexuality since his teens. He'd accepted himself that he was gay, but he had never officially come out. Maybe quietly to a few friends, but never to his family.

"If you do, don't do it that way," he found it curious that Ben hadn't said anything, but then again he wasn't sure if he would have said anything if he hadn't been caught. He'd been reasonably lucky in that he had always known who he was as a person. "Would you ever tell them? About us."

"I… yeah. Eventually." Ben nodded, looking down at his food. "I mean… I'd want them to know before they found out through the press, you know? I'd rather have you over sometime, after all this movie hubbub is over, and we'll have dinner and tell them over it or something. I don't think they'll be… upset? Maybe confused."

"I'm not rushing you. But for all it's worth; I think they'll love you all the same," he gave Ben an earnest look - they had all the time in the world, "I've not told my parents yet - well, they know I'm with someone from work, but I've not said much else."

"That's fine." Ben nodded and took his hand over the table. "I can't help it… it's something I've never gone into, never really talked about. It's sort of tough for me. I'm sure it'll get easier, and you're the love of my life, I'm not at all ashamed. I just have to… get used to all of this, you know? The idea of being public and all that."

Or even being out to his parents. Ben felt a little sick every time he thought about a worse-case scenario. To ruin everything, take away his parents' pride in him for… another type of pride. Ben would be shattered.

"I'm not asking you to choose. If you never feel ready to tell anyone else, if we keep this a secret for the rest of our lives, I will." he doubted that was even possible, but he would try if it was asked of him, "I am so proud of you, Ben - you mean the world to me. And if that world is just us, that's fine too."

Ben smiled at that, eyes sparkling a little. God, he just… he was perfect. He was actually perfect. Ben hardly felt he deserved someone like this. "I love you so much, dear," he said softly, giving his hand a squeeze. He would've hugged him if they weren't sitting opposite across a table.

"I love you too," They returned to normal conversation for the remainder of the meal, glad to have been over the heavy topics (he knew there was still a lot to talk about, what they wanted in the future, marriage, kids, how they'd manage a relationship with filming commitments), but he decided to move it onto an easier topic. 

"Since you mentioned what I looked like as a child, I take it you watched animal ark?" he was kinda embarrassed about that.

"No, bits and pieces." Ben shook his head. "But I have seen photos. You were pretty sweet back then. Definitely had a glow up, though, I gotta say. I mean… bet no one saw this coming, but here you are."

"Thanks... I think," he pretended to be offended - in truth he didn't really see himself as anything above average, as a child or as an adult.

"You're very welcome." Ben had pretty much finished eating by then, poking at his last few fries and still sipping at his drink. He stirred it a little with the straw, looking down at Frankie, who had fallen asleep on his foot. "Have you ever seen me as a kid, though? I think I may have a picture somewhere."

"No, but I'd kinda love to," Ben hadn't been a child actor like Joe and him so Gwil had never really had the opportunity to see what the blond looked like as a child, "Adorable no doubt."

"Sort of the same." Ben searched his phone, coming up with an image. "Here… see? I mean, I definitely became a bit more defined, but same eyes, same expression sort of."

"Aww," Ben was smiling on the phone, front teeth missing, cheeks a rosy red. He was right; his eyes did have the same expression - still mischievous - but they were so large that the green stood out in the photo "You were so cute,you still are, but this is something else."

"I s'pose I did have a sort of boyish charm about me." Ben put his phone back away. "One of these days I'll get my hands on some baby photos, that'll be something else." 

They decided to head back to the house not long after. As they left the patio, Ben couldn't help noticing… or, well, thinking he saw someone with an X-Men shirt out of the corner of his eye. He decided to ignore it, leaving with Gwil to a local grocery, so that they could make sure they had dinner supplies, and a few things for their next few days. They'd be able to enjoy the rest of their time anyways.


	12. Chapter 12

Getting back home and settling into the movie life again was gonna take a day, but luckily they were both highly trained in the art. Ben dismissed the somewhat drowsy and dizzy feeling of the first few days back on set to jet lag and coming down from a very rigorous several days. It couldn't be anything major, he'd just been ill really. 

They were filming the 'Bites the Dust' scene in the studio. Ben was in his element soon enough, thrumming along to the recording on his kit. But he was also feeling increasingly nauseous, and the room seemed hotter than it should. Ben shook it off a bit, and was relieved when the director told them to take five. Ben slipped out the back of the studio, stepping into the gravely pavement outside of the warehouse. He leaned back against the building, sending a chill through his somewhat sweaty form. Ben took a few deep breaths, closing his eyes and hoping the fresh air would help the uneasy feeling in his stomach subside, so he could just focus on the shot. 

There was no time for more sick days.

Gwil had been talking to the director when he saw Ben leave out the corner of his eye. That in itself was strange - normal the four of them stuck together, and even when one went somewhere they mentioned it, even if it was just a bathroom break. After a minute he excused himself from the conversation, the director immediately chasing up Joe and Rami. He left the studio to find Ben hunched over, looking sweaty despite the cold day out. 

"Are you getting ill again?" He rubbed Ben's side, feeling how hot he was through the layers.

"No, I'm okay." Ben shook his head, hand involuntarily resting on his stomach, and his fingers twitching just slightly in something that could hardly be considered a rubbing motion. "I'm just feeling lightheaded, and drumming makes me hot. I think I'm getting a bit low blood sugar, I probably just need a little snack." 

That wasn't a lie. After hardly stomaching breakfast and throwing up after lunch, he was definitely running on little to nothing. Maybe that would make him less dizzy and nauseous. Hopefully there was something nearby. 

"Is there still fruit or anything on the table?" Ben asked, looking up at Gwil. "Grapes would be good, or apples, or anything like it. I'm not picky."

"Pears and bananas," Gwil said looking into the fruit bowl through the open door, "There's bound to be something more filling in the kitchen unit. I think it's some type of spicy fish today." He had suspected Ben hadn't managed to keep food down that morning.

"No, I just need something light for now, the sugar." Ben shook his head. "Pears is fine, I'll go for that. Dinner will be a real meal. For now, I just need to get through this take."

"If you're sure," Gwil wasn't convinced that Ben actually would even try to eat dinner, "But tell me before you get as bad as last time, darling."

"I will, love. Promise." Ben brushed their lips together quickly before heading back inside. He picked up some pear pieces from the table, and found the sweetness surprisingly good. He ended up eating whatever was left of the juicy fruit and hopping back on the drums with renewed energy, finishing on the very next take perfectly. It must've been why he was feeling off - Ben was even able to join the rest of them for dinner, enjoying it thoroughly. 

It seemed like he was fine, getting into bed with Gwil that night. But come about two am, Ben was wide awake, and had to drag himself to the toilet to be sick. Ben held himself up with trembling hands, panting softly once he was done and letting his forehead rest against the coolness of the bowl after he'd flushed. No...he didn't want to be ill again, he'd felt fine the night before. This was the oddest on and off bug he'd ever had.

"Ben?" Gwil called, he'd heard the toilet flush a few minutes ago but Ben still hadn't returned. He hoped Ben wouldn't be too ill for the rest of the week, but it was a Thursday morning and not a good start if he was sick.

"Be there in a moment," Ben replied, a bit more subdued. He got himself to his feet, standing up to wash his face before returning to the other room. He sat back on the bed, rubbing his arm and looking over at Gwil. "I'm sorry if I woke you."

"It's all good, darling." Gwil pulled the covers over them both, falling asleep as soon as he felt Ben was safe in his arms again, "That's a funny ol' flu you've got." He said as he fell asleep completely.

"Yeah… really is."

Ben laid awake, not feeling sleepy, just tired. It was quite a funny bug he got. He had to mull it over in his head quite a bit. On and off flu. Didn't seem right. He reached for his phone, doing a quick google search. Well… he didn't get anything good, but something caught his eye. It was an article from the women's health about the earliest signs of pregnancy. 

No… but he had to read. 

The more he read it over the more Ben started to fret. Pregnancy… the symptoms were all lining up. He was quite sexually active but… no, he was a guy… but Roger had been a guy too and… oh God. Ben made the decision to slip away and get a test the very next morning. He simply pretended to be asleep when Gwil started to stir, so that Gwil could 'wake him up' for their usual tea.

Gwil slept soundly, not waking up at any point. Eventually his alarm broke his slumber and he sat up, seeing Ben sleeping lightly next to him. He dropped a kiss onto the blond's forehead before creeping off to make some breakfast for them both and check the schedules.

Rami and Ben were filming the scene where Freddie moves into garden lodge and they play scrabble on the floor, whilst Joe and him are doing interviews and some of the bts clips and stuff.

Ben wandered out a short bit later, smiling and dressed in his casual clothes to head to set. He had his hands in his pockets, as well as his wallet, his keys, and a good excuse. 

"Morning, babe." He walked over to Gwil, pecking his lips, then gave Frankie a little pet. "Hope you slept well enough last night."

"Yeah, how're you feeling?" He moved a chair for Ben to sit on. That was strange: Ben wasn't normally down for breakfast, especially since Gwil now opened the door for Frankie in the morning.

"Much better, thank you." Ben smiled and nodded. "Uh… I've gotta make a quick pharmacy run this morning. Joe's running low on lactaid, and I'm gonna ask if they have anything for my nausea. Maybe I can get some vitamins and beat this thing."

"Alright then," he needed to hurry up and get dressed, so he pressed a kiss onto Ben's lips quickly, "Call me when you can - I don't think I'll be out of interviews all day. Take it easy though, darling - if you feel sick again tell Rami or ask for five."

"I will, I promise." Ben smiled up at him, watching him go with a soft sigh. Time to get to business. He grabbed the breakfast plate, taking a few bites and tossing the rest in the trash before rushing off. 

He couldn't get to the pharmacy fast enough. Ben was blushing madly as he went into the feminine health aisle, picking out a box of tests. He paid for them quickly, then asked quietly about where the nearest bathroom was. He was directed to a gas station across the street and ducked in. 

Waiting for the lines to appear were the longest minutes of Ben's life. Ben was silently praying for just one line. For a moment, he thought he was lucky. One line so far… shit, no, not another one! He looked at the other tests from the box and cringed. No… not ALL of them. All of them couldn't be wrong... Ben tossed them in the trash in the bathroom, leaving for the set quickly when he saw a reminder text from Rami. He scuttled off and into his trailer, apologizing for being late before letting the artists get to work.

"You doin' alright, Bud?" Rami had just finished up in make-up, seeing Ben turning up late and pale was unusual. But in all honesty, Ben normally arrived with Gwil, and he suspected there was something going on between the pair - there were far too many moments that were more than just friendly. He hadn't even noticed it until Joe pestered him into looking at the Brits' interactions one lunch.

"Yeah. Just… didn't sleep too well last night I suppose." Ben shook his head, managing a smile. "I'll be fine. Plus, we get to shoot today, our scrabble scene. That should be fun, yeah?"

"Okay, but there's water somewhere if you need it." 

They walked onto set, listening to the instructions and starting the scene. “Not this, the house, darling.” He emphasised, walking them through to another room where there were some boxes lying around.

“How about it?” he picked up the scrabble board from the top of one of the boxes, “For old times sake? We can have dinner on the floor too - it’s clean enough.” He waited until Ben looked like he was going to hesitate before interrupting. “Don’t say the kids cause we both know Brian’s got that covered for an afternoon,” he put his arm on Ben’s back as the shot backed away and they walked forward towards the back room, “And if you’re pregnant again we’ll have tea rather than beer, Roger.”

Ben chuckled softly, shaking his head. "What can I say? I've got no more excuses. Let's play on, Fred." He sat down with Rami, on either side of the coffee table. The pieces were put out and Ben started fiddling with pieces, starting out with a few simple words. He tried not to say anything too harsh when Freddie invented words like 'leanto' or 'floam'. 

"Alright. No, not this one." Ben shook his head. "The plural of leaf is leaves, not leafs. I can't let it slide."

"Oh come on! Really?" Rami complained, removing the tiles with a pout that showed the prosthetic teeth, "Fine - but only cause I haven't a clue where the dictionary ended up." He said gesturing to some boxes. He looked at the board in concentration before jumping up a little, "False!" he put down the word.

"See? Much more… proper," he spelled out with a smile, using Rami's last 'e'. He brushed his hair back a bit after that, recrossing his legs and rubbing his palms on his thighs. Ben was actually feeling a bit dizzy again: He probably needed some food, especially since...well... He had sort of zoned out, completely forgetting what his next line was supposed to be. He sort of forgot they were even shooting for a moment until Rami nudged him and then he quickly looked over, shifting a little. "Sorry, Fred… bit distracted I guess." Ben playfully stayed in character, rubbing his arm shyly.

"God, you're not actually on tea in lieu of vodka?" He asked in character - he wasn't sure what else to say, referencing Roger's various pregnancies would be funniest.

Ben chuckled softly. "Well you said we'd be eating off the floor and there's not a speck of food in sight, is there? Why don't we work on that?"

"Well that must be fixed immediately." Rami got up as if to get something, letting some of the camera pause before getting back on the floor, the crew having put prepared plates of pizza in front of them. The camera flashed green again. Rolling. "I'm glad you stayed. Everyone's moving forward and I'm glad some are still glancing back every now and then."

"You're still family, Fred, kids or not." Ben was actually relieved to be eating the stuff. It tasted great, really. He'd have to figure out where they'd gotten the stuff from and see if there were any leftovers after the scene. "I mean, you've come up with the names of at least half of me and Brian's little wankers. They're your godbabies, you're welcome to them anytime you need a cuddle."

Rami went over to Ben's side, pulling him into a tight hug, "You and your army of little wankers." He smiled, leaning into Ben, putting his arms around the blond's waist as the cameras cut. "You really liking that pizza, Benny-boy?"

"Hush up, I didn't have time for breakfast," Ben replied, taking another bite. "I had to run an errand and things just… snowballed." Ben felt his appetite waver a little at the image of the positive tests, but he just shook his head, forcing the smile back and taking another bite of pizza. He'd just have to… get past it. He could ignore it for now, if that was really what it was.

"When you say 'run an errand', you mean you and Gwil..." he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, expecting Ben to ignore him or deny it completely.

Ben shook his head. It hadn't been that sort of morning. He doubted he'd be up for it really. "I was picking Joe up some backup lactose pills, like a good friend," he stated. "They're in the bag on my desk. I also picked up some acetaminophen, just in case. Never know when you'll need the pain relief." Little nicks happened on set all the time.

"That's fair enough. Is it really being a good friend or is it not wanting to hear him complaining again?" He asked, earning a laugh. 

The lunch break was called when he got a text from Joe: 

“Gwil’s acting strange. Is Ben the same?”

“I suppose so.” He texted back, thinking to see if there was much else to report on. “He’s got you some more pills btw”

“How? They don’t sell them locally.” Joe texted back.

That sent the cogs turning him Rami’s head - why would Ben lie about where he’d been? Unless him and Gwil did in fact get… distracted this morning.

“I’m gonna do some snooping. Go see if there’s anything in Ben’s trailer that shows him and Gwil have been together.” 

He shut off his phone, seeing Ben head back towards the cafeteria. He felt kinda bad he was spying on them, but at the same time, he didn’t really share Joe’s suspicion that they were dating. He reached the trailer - it was tidy, too tidy. Like it hadn’t been slept in. Perhaps Ben WAS staying in Gwil’s. Rummaging around a little he didn’t see much - no phone charger or personal belongings, and all the bags hadn’t been fully unpacked. Rami heard the door open - quickly ducking into the bathroom - Ben must’ve got back.

Ben wandered back inside, sitting down in front of the mirror. He heaved a heavy sigh, shaking his head and rubbing his face a bit. It was a day and a half for him already, and it was only in the morning. The pizza wasn't settling in his stomach and he just wanted to curl into a ball and hide. What was he supposed to do about a baby? How was he going to manage it all? Who was he going to go to? A lightbulb went off. He grabbed his phone, shooting off a few messages. 

Ben realized that all the nagging from Roger might have a little payoff here, and he asked to make a lunch date with him as soon as possible. Friday… that was tomorrow. He'd have to make it work. Ben changed after that, ruffling his wig-flattened hair. Nothing about this was gonna be easy.

"Might just be me and you." he mused softly, looking down at himself before shaking his head and exiting the trailer.

Rami stepped away from the door - he was going to kill Joe; there was nothing unusual and the moron had been making him think things. He shuffled backwards towards the window, could he get out of that before Ben decided to use the bathroom? Luckily Ben was leaving, and he was left locked in. He was opening the window when his foot caught the metal bin, the noise loud as it rolled over. 

He looked down, seeing a receipt for three pregnancy tests on the floor.

Ben went back to their hotel room, to at least do as he planned for a while. He was tired anyways, tired and hungry, yet incredibly ill. He threw up soon after he reached the room, laying back on the sofa after with Frankie cuddling up to his belly. Ben smiled a little, petting the little one. She worked as a sort of living warming pad. 

"Thanks, baby," he said softly, scratching her head. "You're a good little love."

Rami looked at the receipt - he'd got out the window with it in his pocket (still in full costume which would have been a sight had anyone caught him). Had Ben got some girl pregnant? He doubted he could even find Ben to go after him. Or if Ben even wanted to talk about it. Rami couldn’t think of what to do, so he phoned Joe who got him into this mess to begin with.

"Hang on..." There was a bit of shuffling on Joe's end. Then he settled down. "What's up, Rami? Any dirt?"

"Has Ben been with any girls recently? One night stands or flings or anything?" It had to be Ben's - Gwil could have been bisexual though (he'd only really mentioned he liked men, not that he was gay), "Or Gwil for that matter."

"Definitely not to my knowledge." Joe shook his head. "Those two are never separate. Why? Did you find some weird texts or overhear a phone call?"

"No..." he doubted any of the crew would have left it there- neither had brought any relatives around to set so it wasn’t that. "I found a receipt of some pregnancy tests. I don't know if they were positive or not though."

"Oh… shit, dude. What if Ben's gotten too into character and HE'S… well… you know." Joe didn't say pregnant outloud. He was in a private area, but he didn't want to take chances. It would explain his weird habits lately, his illness.

"I don't know, man," was that possible? He did spend lots of time with Gwil - could they have had a one night stand? They weren't really the type - they could have been dating - it would explain some of the whispering and touchiness between them "I really don't know. You could ask Gwil, I guess he'd know."

"Yeah… I'll talk to him. But I don't wanna give anything away. I mean, if Ben's being so quiet about this, what if he doesn't want Gwil to know?" Was there even a possibility that if Ben was pregnant it WASN'T Gwil's? Or was he just too scared to admit it. "I'll poke at him, see what I can do. Keep an eye on Ben.

"Okay, I'll do that. But there's still a chance the test has nothing to do with him, or it was negative. He's never mentioned being a carrier," all boys were given a blood test in nursery to see if they were carriers or not, so Ben should have known, and Rami felt like he would have been more careful in sex if he could get pregnant. "Actually the more I think about it, the more I think we've over imagined the whole situation- it'll be something simpler."

"Alright, fine. I'll figure it out." Joe nodded and hung up shortly. 

This whole thing was just rubbing him the wrong way. Something was up. He went back to the other room, sitting next to Gwil. "Holding up alright without Ben clinging to your hand?" Joe asked, sipping his water bottle and looking at Gwil, who was checking his phone

Gwil looked up slowly from his phone (Ben still hadn't replied at all so he must've gotten ill again). "I hardly have him 'clinging' to me. We're just friends, Joe." he lied, noting that Joe had that look in his eye that just told him he wasn't gonna let it go.

"Gwil… you gotta be honest with me here, man." Joe shook his head. "There's clearly something more going on between you two. Me and Rami are your bandmates, your teammates, your friends… almost family. Please… if it's complicated, it's complicated, but there has to be something… right?"

Gwil looked around, there wasn't anyone else. He hadn't expected that much sincerity from Joe. But he was right, at this point they all knew each other like brothers. They knew they couldn't hide their relationship forever and Joe was probably the one who knew anyway. "We're um... dating," He said quietly. He might as well admit to the fact they're moving in together soon too "There's more, but that's the 'something'"

There's more. So Gwil knew about the baby? Maybe. "Huh. Now that's a love story waiting to be written. You fell in love in character and you never snapped out of it." Joe patted his arm. "Secret's safe with me, man."

"Thanks, mate," Gwil smiled- they could trust Joe, "We're moving in together soon - in a matter of months. It's a decent house, too. A few rooms, space to run around in. Perfect for our little family." They'd taken Frankie into consideration when they were looking for the house, and had found one practically up the road from Ben's old place.

Joe's eyebrows went up. Family? So they WERE having a baby? "Yeah. Uh… congrats, man." Joe shook his hand, nodding along. "I mean… yeah. Good for you guys." Seemed pretty soon to be moving in and all that, let alone starting a family, but whatever made them happy.

"Thanks, and thank you for keeping it quiet: nothing's set in stone yet - you know how these things are," they pretty much had the house reserved, but the way it was with London a bigger investor could quickly knock their claim to dust. "I better go see how Ben's getting along, he's still kinda nauseous." He took his phone out, walking to the window, leaving Joe with a smile and a pat on the back.

Joe just looked after him, shaking his head. Well… geez. That seemed basically undeniable. He'd have to let Rami know what he dug up later. If Gwil was going home to a Ben riddled with pregnancy symptoms… they better be more careful with the younger actor.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, hello,
> 
> Things are happening apparently! Love to hears people's thoughts on it all.
> 
> Love,  
> Pluto xxx

Ben was still on the sofa with Frankie. He'd only gotten up to get himself a glass of icy sparkling water, hoping it might help him feel better. Ben was watching a show on Netflix, Midsomer Murders to be specific, and it was a tense moment in which his phone snapped him out of the scene, making him jump just a little. Ben picked it up, pausing the show when he saw it was Gwil. 

"Hey, love." Ben settled back again. "How's everything going for you?"

"Hiya, darling. Interviews are done for today. Although Joe knows about us," he bit the bullet, "He wasn't gonna take any bullshit about us so I just told him. He won't tell anyone though. Are you holding up okay?"

"Oh. Yeah, I'm managing. Frankie is helping me feel better." Ben smiled and looked down. "She's such a little love… always knows when something's wrong, and she gets all clingy. I'm glad you've finished up then. Will you be home soon?" It was just Joe. Ben didn't mind too much.

"We're leaving in about ten, but with all the bleeding traffic, God knows when we'll actually arrive. Do you want me to pick up dinner on the way?"

Ben thought about it for a minute. He wasn't sure what he'd be up for if he was honest. "Only if you want something for yourself. I'll find something here when I get hungry, something lighter I think."

"Okay," he wasn't convinced by it, Ben was still ill, and clearly not getting better. "I'll be there soon." 

Soon ended up being a while longer than anticipated. Gwil had stopped to get dinner for himself - but ended up eating it in the car. When he did finally get into the hotel room Ben was asleep on the sofa, the end credits of Midsommer's rolling on the telly. He picked Ben up bridal style, carrying him to the bedroom.

Ben leaned against him gently, not even realizing it in his sleep. Frankie was at Gwil's heels, not going anywhere soon, and still in comfort mode. He hopped up onto the bed once Ben was set down, shuffling over and cuddling into his chest again. Ben smiled slightly in his sleep, arm slipping over the little one. His eyes opened very briefly to look up at Gwil. "Hey… sorry for passing out on you..."

"Quite alright." He quickly got changed into some old shirt and boxer shorts, slipping into bed, Ben doing the same, but in a far more subdued way. "You're not better are you?"

"Not really, no." Ben shook his head. "I think I'll just have to ride it out. I'll get a check up soon, promise." Ben certainly would be getting checked out. He'd have to find an OB/GYN, one that would be able to keep things very, very private for him.

Gwil let Ben snuggle into his side, but he seemed distant, "You'd tell me if there was something wrong, yeah?"

"Of course I would." Ben slipped his hand into Gwil's gently, closing his eyes. "I'm gonna be okay, Gwil. Don't worry about me." 

"I'm always gonna worry about you." 

***

Gwil woke up the next morning - Ben was next to him for once, but Frankie was lying on him rather than the blond, so clearly he’d gotten up at some point. “Have you got anything on today? Perhaps you should go to the doctors.”

“I'm actually… I have a meeting at lunchtime." Ben was checking his phone at the moment, just a few confirmations. "I'll be headed uptown. I've already told the director that I wouldn't be shooting today, between that and needing the rest. I am scheduling a doctor's visit, I promise."

"Okay - I think I have more stuff for the promo to do," Gwil got up, cranky at having to spend another day half a city away from Ben when something serious could be happening, and even if it wasn't- he clearly wasn't well. Gwil just wanted to stay back and look after Ben all day. "You want me to go with you? I'm pretty sure I can try to get out of some of the interviews if I asked nicely enough."

"No, no. I mean… it's fine." Ben shook his head, smiling a little. "Sorry, uh… just a bit of a hassle and all. We'll see each other for dinner. I'll make us something, something I can eat. We'll make it nice."

Gwil DEFINITELY couldn't come to this lunch. This was a very confidential meeting with Roger. He needed to pour his heart out and get some serious advice about what the hell he was going to do about it.

"Hmm, very domestic: I look forward to it," he dropped some kisses onto Ben's shoulder before getting up - hoping Ben would get some meds for this bug. "I'll see you later, I love you."

"I love you too, dear." Once Gwil was out of the room, Ben sighed in relief. He'd have to remember to pick up things from the shops now, to make that dinner happen. For now, he focused on showering, having a bit of tea and toast, and heading out to the little restaurant. 

He got there before Roger, picking up the reservation for the quiet, corner table, before sitting down. Ben rubbed his hands together anxiously, shaking his head. How did he get himself into such a mess?

Roger found it strange Ben had summoned him, as he made his way into the restaurant, being given the direction towards the back of the place. Normally, Ben tended to text him with his problems (cause this had to be a problem from the wording of the last few messages). "Do you need me to beat Gwil up for you?"

"No, not at all. Well… maybe later." Ben managed a little smile. "Sorry for asking you out this way, but… well I didn't know who better to talk to about the situation that I've found myself in. It's a bit of a unique situation, but I thought you might be able to relate a bit."

Roger raised an eyebrow, taking a seat opposite Ben, taking a look at the younger man. He was white as a sheet, looked as if he hadn't slept in a while. But there was something else too. Something he'd seen in himself eight times. The way Ben was sitting, curled over his abdomen, the shine to his green eyes, the glow to his skin. "You're pregnant."

"...yeah, exactly." Ben hadn't expected him to guess, but he wouldn't question it. "And you probably know who the dad is as well." He shook his head. 

“Think I can guess.”

"I didn't even know I was a carrier, we weren't thinking. Now I'm really screwed. I love Gwil, I do, and we're planning on moving in together and everything when he buys his new house, but a kid already… I don't think he's gonna be up for it."

"I didn't think Brian would stay," he admitted, "I thought the poodle was gonna run for the hills leaving me to look after a baby with no job or help. But he didn't. And him and Gwilym are worryingly similar: Gwil will look after you. And even if he does break it off, you've got your own home, money coming in, a support network," he couldn't really see Gwil leaving to be honest, but Ben could manage on his own, "You are keeping it?" He wasn't keen on 'it' but there was no point using 'them' if Ben didn't want it.

"Of course." Ben nodded. "I don't have it in me for the… other solution. Plus, I mean… it is my baby and all. I sort of feel attached to them already, not just in the physical sense. I can't help it… I sort of love them already." Ben couldn't help himself really. He was always wanting to gently be rubbing, or at least touching his belly now. The symptoms were killing him thus far, but he felt he could push through it if it meant at the end of it, he would have a baby in his arms.

Roger closed his arms around Ben, he was right: they had been in similar situations, "Maybe go to the check up first and make sure everything is alright. You don't need to tell Gwil straight away - test the waters perhaps," he could get a better idea of what was going to happen if he asked Gwil small questions about the future, "How far along do you reckon you are?"

"Must be… maybe nine or ten weeks, I think." Ben looked down. "I don't want to keep it from him too long… he'll get upset at that, think I was hiding it from him… but I'm definitely trying to keep this under wraps awhile. I'm not even ready to come out to the public, let alone put a baby on display."

"You can give yourself a few weeks to work out your plan," That was further along than he thought, but then again, Ben was more built than he'd been and could probably hide it better. "Listen, son, if you ever need somewhere to crash or someone to listen to you, I'm here for you."

"Thanks, Rog. I really appreciate it." Ben managed a little smile at that. Realistically, he'd only be gaining a few pounds until he got to the second trimester, into the fourth month. Ben knew he could cover up with clothes for… probably a good several months. At least from the press. Gwilym would notice much sooner, obviously, and Ben would tell him sooner.

"Do you want me to come to the appointment with you?" Roger wasn't keen on leaving Ben alone and anxious in a random hospital. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to go through everything without a hand to hold, so if Gwil was out of the picture (temporarily, hopefully), he would gladly step in.

"I… yeah. That'd be great, thanks." Ben smiled softly and nodded. "I still have to book one, find a good doctor and all, but… I'll let you know."

"I know you are probably half mad thinking about it, stressing over how to tell people and trying to prepare. But trust me. The minute they hand you your baby, everything else melts away."

Ben smiled softly. That was reassuring. He… had a way to go. But he was excited. "Thanks, Roger. It really means a lot to me."

“I'd better let you get back to set before Gwil starts looking for you. But call me when you get updates," they had finished the light meal they'd had, "But you deserve many awards for method acting." He tried to make light of the situation.

"Cheers, thank you." Ben gave him another little hug before getting up. "I'll see you around soon, and I'll text you soon as I know when my appointment is." 

***

He got back to set as soon as possible, and wasn't paying too much attention to anything. He was distracted so much, in fact, that he bumped into Gwil. Ben stepped back. "Sorry, uh… oh, hey babe.'

"Oh, hey. I... You're a bit distracted aren't you?" He hadn't exactly seen Ben either, but he was looking at his phone. "How was your day? Did you go to the doctor?"

"No, not today. Just had lunch." Ben put his hands on his pockets. "How've you been? Working hard, huh?"

"Usual business. Joe's been his normal nosy self," Joe had been questioning things all morning - how Ben was ‘he's fine’, whether he felt ready for everything, ‘yeah just a big move’, and lastly he had asked when they were due ,’To move? Around Christmas’, he'd answered, confused by the wording of the question.

"Yeah, I don't know what's gotten into them." Ben knew exactly what. And it had him worried. What if something happened? What if they found out first and told Gwil? What if they already knew!? He had to talk to Joe. "Uh… dinner, shit, I have to go to the shops." Ben shook his head. He had totally forgotten.

"Ben, love, don't worry about dinner, I'll get it." Gwil worried that if Ben went he'd get lost on the way or something.

"No, I promised you a nice dinner and I'll get it." Ben pecked his lips. "Don't worry about it, okay babe? It'll be fine, I'll be fine."

Gwil closed his eyes, letting his forehead lean against Ben's. He hugged him, taking a deep breath. 'Was Ben working out more?'. "Okay - I've got a few bits and pieces to finish up. Rami or Joe are likely sitting around if you're waiting - if not, I'll see you in an hour."

"See you then." Ben smiled and nodded. But once he'd walked away, his face fell, and he scurried off, seeking out Joe. Once he saw him socializing with one of the workers, he tugged his sleeve, excusing him from the other person, before pulling him away. Ben pulled Joe into his car, closing the door and sitting down before asking him flatly. 

"What do you know?"

"Not much, honestly!" Joe looked at him bewildered "I know how to complete a rubix cube and dance, if that's what you're wandering." He noticed Ben wasn't smiling: "What are you talking about? Why the kidnapping?" He said, more gently.

"Me, and Gwil… I know he told you we were dating, but what else do you know?" Ben crossed his arms. He needed a straight answer so he knew how to stop him from telling Gwil anything else, or anything untrue.

"He said that you're moving in together," Joe didn't want to make Ben angry (especially not in his condition), but he had to say it, "You're pregnant, aren't you?"

"...yes, but he doesn't know that." Ben sighed softly. "We are moving in together and all...well, hopefully. How did you find out? About the pregnancy I mean."

"Rami saw a receipt for a test in a bin," he admitted, knowing full well it didn't put either of them in the best light, "I thought Gwil would know - he was talking about getting a big yard with space to run around in. I thought that was him saying he knew."

"No, no, he was just talking about the dog." Ben shook his head. 'We didn't think we'd adopt for… at least five years from now, if we lasted until then. And we… well… I didn't know I was a carrier. And now I've got his baby in me and I have no idea how to tell him."

Joe stared straight ahead through the windscreen - he didn't even know what to say to Ben, his situation was so... Particular. "How did you not know you were a carrier?" He said at last, still thinking of a way to address the bigger issue: telling Gwil.

"I don't know." Ben played with his shirt absently. "Did… I never saw anything on any paperwork on it. My mum would've told me if she knew, I think… maybe the test isn't perfect."

"Maybe..." He guessed there was always gonna be someone who slipped through the system. He reached across to put a hand on Ben's knee "Have you spoken to him about a family at all? You said you were planning on adopting at some point."

"Yeah, but not for a long time." Ben rubbed his hands together a bit. "We really didn't go into it, just a mere mention. I don't… I don't know how he'll feel about this at all. I don't know how private we can keep it either, I'm not even out, I wasn't ready to be." He was going a little fast but he couldn't help it.

"Hey, hey... Don't cry, none of that." He comforted Ben through his mini break down. "Okay - you want my honest opinion on what you should do?"

"Sure, I'll take it." Ben rubbed his eyes quickly before looking back at him.

"Go to the doctor's and double check it's not twins or anything, come up with a plan for the next few months, how to hide it with the filming and press and everything. But tell Gwil. Not until you're ready, but he deserves to know. Even if it doesn't work out - I don't think he'd abandon his baby."

Ben nodded slowly. That all made sense. "Right… filming is almost done, but we've got press tours to fret about, and I can't travel when I'm really heavily pregnant, or with an infant. I am going to the doctor's soon, and then… I'll find a way to tell him."

"You're not doing this alone. The tour isn't compulsory - I'll carry around a cardboard cutout if I have to," he knew there was no way Ben could do all of the press tour, but there were still bits to film and he could do that easily. "You two never make it simple, do you?"

Ben smiled a little, shaking his head. No, they were pretty complex. From their rocky start (that the others still didn't know about) to now, a hidden baby that was gonna rock their world, and everyone else's.   
"I gotta get going." Ben sat up a bit. "I promised Gwil I was making dinner and I was incredibly adamant about it the second time around so… I gotta pick it up.”

"Tryna pepper up your baby daddy?" Joe laughed, pleased Ben was still trying to make order, "I'll leave you to it, and sorry again: for snooping around. It wasn't really our place to do that."

"I dunno. I should probably be upset, but... I'm glad you know." Ben leaned over, giving Joe a firm hug. He needed reassurance, that was certain. He only let him go to head out to the shops, waving and promising to keep him updated.

Ben ended up picking some premade foods up. He got a whole chicken to just keep warm in the oven, then some sides to heat up, corn and potatoes. He still served it up nicely, and was ready when Gwil came in. "I'm just getting our drinks," Ben told him. "Food's about to be served,

"Mmm, smells delish..." He dropped his coat and bags on the sofa- the day had dragged on too much for him to put it away properly. "You're looking better."

"I feel a bit better." Ben set the plates down, then their glasses. He'd just gotten them water for now. "I'm definitely up for this dinner, I can't wait to dig in. So… let's."

They tucked in, Gwil reassuring him that it tasted marvelous. But he couldn't help but notice something was off. Ben wasn't... Himself. "I spoke to the man from the agency. He said we can move in after the next few months - the current folk are still there until then. I said we'd likely be in after the press tour."

"That sounds great." Ben smiled softly and nodded. It sounded just lovely, yeah. He'd love to move in but… well, he just wondered if he'd be in the state to, trying to calculate when he might be due. "It is quite a lovely place, isn't it? Lots of space in the back and all, to add some renovations sometime." He could picture a little plastic slide, or a kiddie pool. Ben could just imagine the baby taking its first steps, Frankie running around them encouragingly while he and Gwil caught the little one, cheering them on and just having a day of it. But it wasn't the time.

"There's three rooms, not including the master bedroom. I was thinking, keep one as a guest room, one as a study and the last you can put your gym stuff or Frankie's equipment," he kinda hoped that some years down the line Ben would agree to adopt, that those rooms could be converted back into bedrooms for their future kids.

"Yeah, sounds good." Ben was wondering which one of the rooms would be the nicest for a nursery right about then. One with a nice window to set the rocking chair next to, with a wall for the dresser, wall for the crib, and space for toys and things too. He couldn't help being a bit spaced out honestly.

Gwil noticed Ben looked a bit far away. Perhaps he wasn't comfortable with all that talk of kids that was going on - neither had ever cohabited before. "Are we going too fast?"

"No, I don't think so." Ben shook his head, smiling a bit and looking up. "I feel really connected to you, y'know. You mean a lot to me and I feel like we're doing the right thing, for us both."

"Good, cause I feel the same. I suppose I just worry you'll come to your senses and find someone better for you." He'd tried to make it sound like a joke, but it came out hollow.

"Babe… is that really what you think?" Ben shook his head, reaching over to take his hand. "Gwil, look at me… I love you. I love you so much. I love you almost too much. If you think that there's anything… anything or anyone that could treat me better, love me better and make me feel better than you, you couldn't be more mistaken. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I wouldn't trade you for the world and if something happened between us… well… I'd be lying if I said I didn't expect to lose a part of me and never get it back."

Gwil couldn't speak. He'd expected Ben to argue back, but he hadn't expected him to pour his heart out like that. He squeezed Ben's hands back, "I… Ben, I love you,"

"I love you too." Ben leaned over, pressing their lips together gently as he closed his eyes. That was what he needed right then, that little reassurance. 

A tiny part of him was aching because if he lost this… well he really didn't know what he would do, but he was going to cling to it as long as he could.


	14. Chapter 14

The doctor's appointment was just two days later. Ben filmed in the morning, then met up with Roger in the car park of the clinic he'd found. Ben walked over to him, hands in his pockets and smiling meekly. "Ready?" he asked softly.

"Are you?" Roger gave him a sincere look, Ben didn't really respond - but he already knew the answer. He wrapped a hand around Ben's elbow, letting the younger man keep his hands in his pockets, and slowly they walked in and towards the registration desk. When they got there, after Ben had put his details in (Roger found it strange he was using Jones instead of Hardy, but he didn't question it). He realised everything was very quiet - too silent for a normal hospital; Ben must've asked for a high privacy appointment. 

They were told to wait nearby, he could feel the anxiety radiating off of Ben. Pretty quickly, a nurse came out.

"Mr Jones, if you would like to follow me."

"Of course." Ben stood up, hands shyly in his pockets as he followed her back. He was pretty nervous about this whole thing still. If someone recognized him… if someone realized they could profit from this... He got himself onto the table after shaking the doctor's hand.

The nurse explained about the private duty the hospital was committed to carry out. She then went on to explain the ultrasound procedure, asking Ben to lift his top and pull his trousers down enough to reveal his stomach. Roger held his hand as the cold gel was applied, he could see where some of the definition of Ben's muscles had already started to fade. The nurse finished adjusting the screen, "Would you like to see you baby now, Mr Jones?"

"Yes, please." Ben nodded, looking up at the screen. His heart just about melted. There was the little one - they weren't too defined yet, but they were there, safe inside. When he heard the heartbeat, Ben teared up and bit his lip a little. They were okay. They were safe and healthy and they were more beautiful than he had ever imagined.

Roger watched on, still fascinated after all these years, even after his own kids.

The nurse jotted some notes down on paper, "So estimated start of gestation, eleven weeks. Looks like the baby will be born mid February." She printed out a handful of ultrasound pictures, handing them over along with an appointment card for a fourteen week mark. "I'll fill you out a prescription for vitamins, you should also be able to find support leaflets and nct classes. Any questions?"

"No, uh… thank you very much." Ben smiled softly, tucking the envelope and papers all into his pocket. He couldn't take any chances of someone outside catching something. If anyone even saw him leaving the doctor, especially with Roger, there could be an issue. They headed back to the car park after that. 

Ben kept close to Roger, hand in his pocket still. "Thanks again for coming. I'm glad we've… got all this cleared up." Ben looked over at him again smiling softly.

Roger pulled him in for a hug, "Just try to find a way to tell him - don't leave it until you end up in labour." Roger drove them back to the set, letting Ben out into the unusually busy site. He had a feeling that everything would turn out well in the end.

Ben wandered back into the area, keeping his hands in his pockets. He wasn't sure what else was being shot today. He'd just step back and observe, see what was going on. Hopefully he'd see Gwil sooner than later. And he'd have to show Joe the pictures of the baby.

Gwil watched as they repaired the set. The lower part had collapsed mid scene when they were standing on it, and although they'd all got away uninjured - the entire set was being checked and there was very little going on in the meantime. He could feel some of the bruises developing as he saw Ben entering the area "Where have you been? You've been gone all morning."

"I told you I had a doctor's appointment. Looks like I didn't miss much." Ben looked everything over. "Yikes… what did this catastrophe interrupt?" He knew tomorrow they'll be shooting the whole 'You killed Queen' bit, and the fake bump would come back on, as that had been shortly before the birth of one of the Maylor babies.

"Extra scenes - they weren't sure they were going to use it anyway. Meant to be an argument between John and Brian over Hot Space. How did the appointment go?"

"Well. I got a prescription for some vitamins. Hopefully it'll give me the immune boost I need." Ben kissed his cheek, resting a hand on his lower back. "I hope you and Joe aren't too sore. Tomorrow is gonna be pretty intense."

"Nah, we're lucky it wasn't one of the risers that went," Gwil found it strange that all the doctor's gave Ben was some vitamins - no antibiotics or penicillin or anything strong. But then again he didn't know shit about medicine. "Looking forward to getting the bump?"

For a split second, Ben's heart skipped. Was he looking forward to getting the bump? Actually… yeah. It still made him pretty nervous, but he was sort of looking forward to that bit. "Yeah, yeah. I've missed it." Ben smiled and nodded, shrugging it off playfully. "Are you looking forward to it too?"

"Doing the scene or seeing you pregnant?" The scene itself was quite dull (in that everyone was just sitting around), and it would be a long shoot. He did enjoy filming stuff like it, but the amount of reaction shots would mean that it would have to be filmed line by line practically.

"Both," Ben teased playfully. Honestly, he wondered how Gwil felt about it all. Maybe in a different time, different scenario, this could be something they really wanted. He just really had doubts about anything like this so soon.

"I think you look sweet with the bump on - it suits you. It's a bit far fetched," Ben wasn't a carrier, Gwil thought, but he wouldn't have minded it one bit if he was. He knew that was a strong statement to make, but the idea of having children that looked like both of them was inviting. He tried to dispel the thought, "I don't know five years from now, we could get a few little ones."

"Yeah. Definitely." Yep. Five years. Well, maybe in five years he could bring their son or daughter over and Gwil would be ready then. Oh well. "As for today, are we about ready to get the hell out of here then? I thought we might order something tonight."

Definitely? Ben actually wanted a family then. They had talked about it before: but it had always just been a maybe or perhaps. Gwil knew Ben was younger than him - that he probably wasn't ready to take a step like that for a while, but he was glad they were moving in the right direction. He hadn't mentioned to anyone, but if they were still strong at Valentines, he was going to ask THE question. But that was later. 

"Take out's fine, darling."

"Great." Ben smiled softly and nodded, squeezing his hand. He stayed close to Gwil for the rest of the day, and they ordered some take out later on. Ben and Gwil spent the night cuddling on the sofa, both thinking about their own agendas. This was gonna be something. Ben spent a long time staring at his bump in the mirror in his trailer. He wondered what it would be like when he couldn't take it off anymore. When it was more...well, somewhat more permanent.

***

"Mornin' preggers," Gwil called entering the room. He was mostly dressed - still missing a shirt from having to get makeup on the bruises. He looked over at where Ben was looking in the mirror, cradling a bump through layers of clothing. "You look beautiful."

Ben couldn't help blushing a little, shaking his head. If only he just… knew. "Thanks, darling. I have to say… it is a bit heavy." Ben rubbed the bottom of his 'belly'. "I think it's one of those sympathy bumps, the ones people get to make their husbands wear to feel bad for them."

Gwil went over to Ben, putting a hand on the bump. This one was different. Whereas the other ones were light ones that dented in if you pressed on them, this one felt like real skin, and it was coloured to look like it too. "It is very... Real looking."

"Isn't it?" Ben smiled a little. "I half expect to feel a kick honestly, but I'm supposedly near giving birth at this point." He knew he had to cry on camera for this scene, get really broken up when Freddie destroys their band.

"It'll be a good scene," Gwil broke away to find his shirt, buttoning it up to mid chest, both walking out towards the set. "Actually, I never checked the final cut of the script; did they keep in the water breaking at the end?"

"I'm not sure." Ben thought about it for a minute. "I think so. We're at least gonna shoot it and see if they keep it in, I think. It's after the fight, Freddie leaves with Paul, and then you're trying to calm me down, but it culminates in early labor. You really crack down on Fred for that when he comes to see me."

"Poor Rami spends half this film getting yelled at by someone or other. Still Joe's gotta deal with you groaning in pain while I'm yelling after the pair of them." They made their way into the room, seeing Joe and Allen chatting as Rami had a talk with the director.

"Hello, lads." Ben smiled and wandered over, hand resting on the faux baby bump. "You ready to be a doula, Joe?"

"Am I supposed to know what that is?" Joe looked at him blankly.

"Like a midwife/coach type of thing." Gwil explained, taking a seat on the other side of Ben ready for the scene to begin. He argued back at Rami when he told them the news, holding Ben as he started to get more riled up - then the issue of the money came into play.

"How much did they pay you?" Ben asked flatly, first softly. After no reply he got louder, snappy. "I wanna know how much they paid you! How much-!?"

"Four million dollars." Rami said calmly but loudly. Gwil scoffed at that, holding Ben tighter than before.

"Maybe you can buy yourself a family with that," Ben stated firmly, biting his lip to keep it from trembling. He watched Rami walk away, standing up and watching him leave. "...You just killed Queen." He called in a trembling voice, tears spilling down his cheeks. 

He watched Gwil chase after him, trying to stay calm, but he suddenly cried out in pain, doubling over against the sofa and gripping the arm. Looking down, he saw the 'water' broken all over his legs and shook his head. "John… John, the baby."

"Rog? Shit! Brian!" Joe got up and went to where Gwil had left, seeing it was too late- he'd gone after Fred into the street. He went back to where Ben was sitting "He'll be back soon. Just stay calm."

Ben just nodded a little, holding Joe's hand and taking deep breaths. His chin rested on his chest. He'd done this before… but this wasn't right. "I was supposed to have… one more month… this isn't right." he managed softly, looking at Joe with fearful eyes. 

They cut it there. The next scene would be in hospital, just after the baby's birth. Freddie would come to visit, but it wouldn't go well. 

Ben was propped up in bed, cleaned up and baby in his arms, sleeping peacefully. It should have been a happy moment, till Rami appeared. "What are you doing here?" Ben asked softly.

"Rog, please don't start anything. You're tired - you'll say something you'll regret," Gwil said- earning a hard glare from Ben. 

Rami stood his ground "I came to say goodbye, for now. I'll be in Germany soon... How's the little one?" he took a step closer, Gwil stood up, trying to warn him wordlessly.

Ben shook his head, pulling her closer. "This was the worst labor of my life," he stated. "She was five weeks early, hardly five pounds, and they had to keep her in the NICU for three days. You caused this, Freddie, you. It's your fault we've had to ruin our entire, positive experience of birth. I hope you're happy."

"I didn't mean- I didn't know any of-" Rami started. 

"Just go mate," Gwil walked towards him, using his full height to his advantage, "I hope that you do well on your own, God knows you deserve it… I nearly lost them both, Fred." They had left the room by them, Gwil backing him into a corner. "Go! Go to Germany with Paul. See if you can find what you bloody well nearly ripped from me! Fucking go!"

Ben looked back at the infant, shaking his head. He kissed the top of the baby's head, shaking his head. "I'm so sorry, love," he said softly. "You're alright now… mumma won't let anything happen to you. That… rotter Freddie will never come near you again."

Gwil came back into the room, shoulders sagging, "I'm sorry you had to hear that, love," he took a seat on the edge of the bed, his hands on both the baby and Ben, peering down at the little girl. "I'm gonna look after you both."

"I know, you will." Ben smiled for his sake, but he couldn't help wistfully gazing at the door. Their family, Queen, really was broken.

"Cut!" The director called, startling the baby. Gwil took her fully into his arms, "Don't cry, sunshine, it's alright." He started rocking the baby as he looked across to see if her real mum was on set, (they were quite often sent out to avoid leaking information). The baby stopped crying pretty soon with that. "That's better, why don't we go see if we can find your mummy?"

Ben couldn't help smiling as he watched. Why was he so good with babies? Why did he look so good with babies? Why was it all too much? Ben got out of the bed, wandering over. He smiled at the baby. "You're really naturally with her, babe." 

"Benefit of having a few nephews and nieces," he explained, going back to making faces at the baby (who was still very young, but seemed entertained anyway).

Ben chuckled softly, watching with a fair amount of longing. He wanted that. He wanted that for their baby. It would be a dream come true. He could hardly imagine. When the baby was taken away, Ben shuffled off to change. They had their last scene of the day, Live Aid rehearsals, so he had to switch wigs and all. But he couldn't stop thinking about the little baby in his tummy, and how perfect they’d look in their daddy's arms.

Gwil had hoped that, if they did adopt, they'd go for a baby. It wasn't that he didn't like the older children, but he wanted to experience the whole of parenting. But then again, if Ben wasn't ready for that, he wouldn't be opposed to an older child. "Ready?"

"Ready." Ben nodded and took his hand, heading out to the set again. This scene was pretty somber in tone. Finding out Freddie had AIDS was definitely nothing to shrug off.

They walked in, letting go of each other’s hands after a tight squeeze. They took one side of the room next to Joe, Rami on the other. They weren't laughing or messing around like they normally did before takes: Rami was especially quiet. The attention was on him.

Ben sat down at his drums. They had to start playing so they waited for the backing team before the director said 'action'. He started tapping along after that, and they all stopped when Freddie's voice cracked.

Gwil read his lines, keeping an arm around Ben when he said ‘You're a legend, Fred’. Then came the tragic announcement and the group hug, all of them were crying a bit, but he noticed Ben more so.

The director cut. Ben wiped his face, sniffling a little. He couldn't help it. Fuck...was this the hormone stuff that everyone talked about? He wasn't a fan already.

"You're a good actor Rami, too good." Ben smiled and chuckled softly. "You've got me really feeling for you."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Benny," he gave Ben a side hug as Joe and Gwil went to get the instruments they'd left on the floor, "I forgot you're hormonal now."

Ben hushed him quickly, shaking his head. He gestured to his stomach and shook his head, then looked at Gwil, saying almost silently "He doesn't know." Then he played it off as cool. "Heh, no, I'm just a softie. You remember our Disney movie night."

"Yeah - you sobbed for the first twenty minutes of Up!," He said in a jokey voice, while looking at Ben as if to say 'what the fuck'. But he didn't get a reply before the other two got back. "So, what's the plan?" He asked instead.

"Uh… for today?" Ben shrugged. "I think I'm just gonna go clean up and get some dinner. Maybe Joe can catch you up a little." Ben gave Joe a look, gesturing to Rami.

"I reckon it's probably my turn to make dinner," Gwil said after they had got back, "What do you fancy?"

"Hmm… can you do something Italian? Pasta with a good tomato sauce?" Ben gave his hand a gentle squeeze, looking at him with puppy eyes worse than Frankie's.

"That sounds great," he gave Ben a quick peck, then looked through the cupboards for some ingredients, "Dunno how early we're meant to be on set tomorrow, but if it's late we could probably open a bottle, whatcha think?"

"Uh… the doctor told me to stop drinking." Ben shrugged and shook his head. "My apologies. I'm sure we'll pop one open to celebrate when I'm better. Promise. But you can drink for me."

"I'm not drinking if you can't, my love," something else that Gwil found strange about Ben's illness, since he had never been told not to drink during a flu. But then, it had been quite a few years since he'd been ill and he didn't know what the procedures were, "At least you don't seem as ill as last time."

"The vitamins and keeping up with eating is really helping," Ben agreed. He almost reached for his belly, but realized he was with Gwil and rested it on his hip instead. "I'll let you get your chef on, alright love?"

"Yeah, go relax. I'll call you through when it's done," he kissed Ben's cheek again, then moved to get everything sorted, putting on Spotify in his phone and singing along with the music.

Ben settled on the couch, Frankie in his lap. Soon, there'd be no space in his lap for his dog, he mused to himself. There'd be a big bump in the way. Ben hoped Frankie would still want to cuddle up regardless. He'd find ways to hold her.


	15. Chapter 15

"Grubs up, sweetie!" Gwil called from the kitchen, imitating a traditional housewife. "I just put out sparkling water, that alright? We seem to have loads in the fridge."

"Yes. I've become a bit addicted." Ben walked in, Frankie following to get to her food bowl. Ben usually tucked it next to the table when they were all eating together. He sat down, taking a bite and humming softly. "You've done a fantastic job with this, love. It's perfect."

"Anything for you, love," he put some food into Frankie's bowl, scratching the dog behind the ear. Frankie licked his hand softly in return before digging into her dinner. 

Ben enjoyed his food, going back for seconds, and sitting back with his sparkling water after. "Exquisite," he said softly. "Lovely job, dear."

"I meant to ask before, but would you like to come over to Birmingham for a few days. There's a family gathering, nothing big, but I thought it would be nice if we went together."

"Oh. Uh… yeah. Sure thing." Oh lord, he was meeting his family. That's… That'd be pretty nerve wracking. But he supposed if they were on good terms.

"We don't need to say anything. I can just say you're a close friend," he knew his mum would see right through it, but at least one of his siblings would believe it. Hopefully.

"Oh, sure." Ben nodded a little. "I mean… if you want to tell them we can. We're moving in together and all. They should get to know me."

"Of course I want to tell them. You're my brilliant boyfriend - I want to show you off to the world," he reached for Ben's hand across the table, gently rubbing the knuckles, "I just know you wanted to keep it on the low for a while."

"But your family won't say anything, will they?" Ben looked up at him. "Like… to anyone."

"Nah, they wouldn't. They know it's important. Also not sure they'll care that much who you are, not in a bad way: just you'll be another addition to the family." Gwil explained, thinking back to how his parents had reacted to his older siblings' various relationships and spouses.

"Well I'm glad for that then." Ben smiled a little. Might be nice. But he had to tell him about the baby before then, he decided. He'd have to find the right way to do it in the meantime, consult Roger about it.

"Well, you've got a few weeks to change your mind," Gwil said, clearing away the plates and glasses into the sink. "Wanna call it a night and we'll wash those in the morning?" He didn't really fancy doing the dishes, and Ben looked worn through - he'd been looking quite peachy recently - must've been the vitamins.

"Sure, babe. Let's just rest." Ben got up, stretching a little. He brought Frankie back to the bed area, petting him gently after he laid back. Frankie's head rested on Ben's middle, and Ben couldn't help wondering if he knew somehow. Maybe his scent was different? Who knew?

Gwil settled into bed, letting Frankie snuggle between the two of them. Gwil rubbed a hand over Frankie's face just on top of Ben's stomach. "G'night loves."

"Night, babe." Ben fell asleep there easily. He was dreaming about a happy little family. Him and Gwil and Frankie and a little, faceless toddler that he couldn't quite make out. It felt good. 

He called Roger the next day, updating him a bit. He let him know about the family meeting and all. 

"I have to tell him before then… how?" Ben rubbed his hand on his jeans. "You've done it before. How do you bring it up?"

"In my defense, the first time we found out at a doctor's visit at the same time - the other times he knew before I did," Roger said, remembering his various encounters with telling Brian about his pregnancy, "You could get him a 'dad' mug or summat for the baby if you don't want to tell him straight."

"Hmm… that could work." Ben rubbed his stomach a little. "Maybe… I could put the ultrasound underneath? So he'd know I was serious. Then I could try and explain things to him."

"That's what I would have done if I could go back," Roger admitted - although he was glad that Ben seemed to be doing everything right, "How do you think he'll take it?"

"No idea. He mentioned kids the other day, in four or five years." Ben shifted a little. "He's so good with babies, though. It's the sweetest thing I've ever seen and I just… if he could be like that with ours…”

"Five years isn't that much. Especially if you thought you were adopting - that can take ages," he tried to comfort Ben, "I'm more than sure he'll be an angel with your little one. You just need to tell him."

"I will, I promise." Ben nervously rubbed his stomach. "Maybe this weekend. We can… try and relax. Might have an afternoon off or something. I want him to be in a good mood."

"Okay, don't worry too much- it's not great for the baby," Roger tutted down the phone, " I have a feeling it will all turn out grand."

"I trust you. Just… don't trust myself quite all the way." He looked up. "I gotta get going… I'll tell you how it goes over."

"Good luck, son." Roger hung up - looks like he had some gossip to tell Brian.

***

Ben bought the mug, one that said #1 Dad with a red heart. He carefully wrapped it up, setting an ultrasound image in the bottom of the box. Ben sighed softly, tucking it away before approaching his boyfriend, who was reading in bed. 

"Babe?" Ben sat beside him. "Uh.. maybe Friday afternoon we can go on a little walk? The beach?"

"Bit random, but of course, yeah." Bit strange of a request, he thought. But then again: they'd both gone on spontaneous trips before.

Ben smiled softly. "Not far. Just… a little stroll. Walks are good for me, the doctor said so. Fresh air too."

"Turning into a little old lady: no drinking, fresh air. Next you'll be at the humbugs." He laughed, dropping his head onto Ben's shoulder to kiss his neck.

Ben blushed a little, managing a soft smile and a laugh for him. "Okay, okay. C'mon then, let's get some rest." 

Ben chose a little park nearby for their walk. It was empty enough, and he had stashed the gift behind a rock cluster beforehand. Ben kept the conversation light as they strolled. He stopped him near the rocks. "Uh… I have something for you," he said softly, before handing him the little box

"You didn't need to-" he was cut off by Ben giving him a stern look. He opened the box, smiling as he noticed the hand wrapped tissue paper around the object - clearly he'd put effort in for this. 

He carefully undid the paper, looking up to see Ben's face tense. He looked back at the present, it was a cup of some sort. He pulled the last of the paper away. "#1. Dad" he read out loud, the words not quite hitting this brain- he didn't know anyone who was a dad. Why would he be a dad? He looked back into the box, seeing an ultrasound. Was Ben... Pregnant? No, it had to be a sick joke, trying to play on the idea of him wanting kids.

"If this is a joke, stop it. It's not funny." But Ben's face wasn't laughing

"I could never… never joke about something like this, Gwilym." Ben never called him his full name. "This is… I know we didn't plan this. I didn't even know I was a carrier. You have no idea how… how sick and scared I was to even bring this up to you. It took Roger and Joe to get me worked up to this, and even then I just… I'm terrified." Ben's hand was cradling his belly gently, flat as it was, and his other hand was nervously rubbing the side of his face. He was chewing his lip, and he felt sick, almost faint over all this. Gwil didn't even believe him. "I'm sorry. And if you don't want them, that's fine too."

"I want them. I want you," Gwil was quiet, he walked forward to where Ben had separated himself, reaching out to touch his belly, but never quite getting there. "I didn't want to believe you for you to take it away as a prank. I believe you. Badly. Badly in love with you." He stayed a step back, not wanting to hurt Ben. "Love both of you."

"I love you too." Ben's voice was broken. Tears were pouring down his face, and his heart was aching. "I love you so much. And I don't want us to change. I just want us to grow closer, to move in and have this baby together. But I didn't want to bring this on you so soon and I'm sorry. I really am sorry."

"I've been ready for years, don't apologise for giving me a family. And I don't just mean our baby, I mean you too. You're family," he took a step closer, still not touching Ben. "I'm sorry you felt uncomfortable telling me."

"It wasn't your fault." Ben rested his hands in his pockets now. "It's just me overthinking things. You're amazing with babies and all and I'm just… well because you always mentioned kids, but you gave me a far away date… I should've known you were just being considerate, babe, but I was wrong. I'm sorry. But I really want to do this with you, and I'm really happy to have your baby in me, really."

Gwil finally reached forward and kissed Ben slowly, one hand at the back of his neck deepening the kiss, the other tugged at the hem of the blond's jumper - finding his way underneath to rest against Ben's belly. He could still feel the muscles, but they were harder in a way that wasn't through working out at the gym. There was a life there. 

Their child.

"I didn't want to rush you into having children, it's a massive decision and you're young. But I am so, so grateful you're carrying my child.”

Ben smiled brightly at that. Tears still sparkled in his eyes, but they were happy tears. He rested his forehead on Gwil's. "It isn't what we planned. But I think we can definitely make it work, so long as Frankie doesn't mind a baby taking his room."

"I'm sure Frankie will be a good four legged older sibling," it wasn't like that dog was practically their child anyway huh. "Although, if you don't mind my asking, how many people knew before I did?"

"Uh… well Joe and Rami snuck around and found out without my consent. Roger knows, I needed his help… and he's definitely told Brian." Ben shook his head. "So the whole band and the real band basically."

“I should be more offended than I am, although Roger helping is quite sweet actually," despite not being angry, this just solidified that Joe sometimes deserved to be strangled a bit. Not much. But enough to shut him up sometimes. "Would I be a bad person if I phoned Joe to tell him I'm leaving you just to see his reaction?"

"Oh God, no, he'd have a hit taken out on you, probably tell Rog." Ben remembered the threat to Gwil's safety as soon as they'd met up at the restaurant. "No, we'll find another way to get him. He won't get away Scot Free."

"Okay, I'll live with that," he took Ben's hand again, taking the ultrasound in the other, he looked at the writing at the top ‘Jones, Benjamin, first pregnancy (MC), 11 weeks’. 

" How did I miss the first three months nearly?"

"I missed most of it myself." Ben smiled and nodded, looking over the picture again himself. "That was nearly a week ago as well. So… almost into the second trimester.'

"That's further than I was thinking, that's mostly over the press junket," he tried to work out dates and timings, "I can phone up the real estate company and see if we can move in sooner rather than later."

"Yeah, that'd be best." Ben rubbed his belly thoughtfully. "Hmm… I can probably wear sweaters when the bump comes in, hide it for at least a while."

"We gonna hide it then?" He pressed his hand onto the belly - "Best to keep this sorta thing outta the public eye."

"At least for now, yes." Ben didn't think it would be a good idea. Not yet. Eventually they'd probably have to, when the baby was born, but for now it could be hidden. "We tell who we have to, when we have to."

"Any rough idea on either of those two things? I'm fine not telling my family when we see them, it might be a bit much for everyone." He didn't want to stress Ben now that he was protecting their baby. "Although you should probably try gently telling your family, if you want to."

"I guess you're right." Ben nodded a little. "I guess I'll hold off with your family. I'll... call my mum. See what she says. I'm just not hopeful."

"Okay, but don't work yourself up," he looked out at the day- his entire world had changed in a matter of minutes. "We should get going- better not get any flu or owt from the cold"

"I'm not that fragile, Gwil," Ben chuckled softly, shaking his head and holding his hand. "Let's go home and snuggle, maybe get some food. I'm up for pizza."

"Anything for you." He pecked his temple again, both walking slowly home. Gwil had his boyfriend, love and best friend in his left hand, and his child and future represented by the mug in his right hand. And that was enough to make him the happiest man on earth.


	16. Chapter 16

They reached home, happier than ever, and ordered their dinner. The whole night they cuddled, having dinner and staying close on the sofa till they decided to tuck into bed. Things would still be cozy, maybe cozier, as Gwil was now aware of the little one, whose picture was low framed right next to the bed. It made filming and working together less nervous. Now that all four of them were keeping the secret, they could cover for Ben in certain areas, needing to take five or going off to the bathroom. All three tended to start keeping little snacks on them, mostly mini m&m's (Ben's favorite at the moment it seemed) just to give him little boosts throughout the day. Ben hardly minded, even if he pretended to be annoyed once in a while.

"Joe said you were having a bit of a gripe today. So I brought chocolate," it had been a quiet day on set where they'd been split in half, but they had the weekend off: so, as planned, Ben and Gwil were disappearing to Gwil's parents house.

"Yeah, thanks." Ben smiled a bit, nibbling on the sweet. It did help. "Yeah, I've been pretty sore today. New symptoms are starting, like my back hurting a lot lately, and more stretching. I can hardly stuff into any trousers anymore either, which is just bollocks. It's not a bump yet. I just feel… bloated."

"You can't see it from the outside yet, but you do look healthier, glowing," Gwil sat beside him, rubbing circles into Ben's lower back, trying to work out the kinks "When's the next scan?"

"Sixteen week mark," Ben replied, closing his eyes as he melted into the touches. "So… two weeks from now. Not too bad. I seem to be moving along on schedule, gaining about a pound a week at this point. Right on track with it all."

"Do we find out the gender at that one?" Gwil didn't really care what the baby was, so long as they were strong and healthy and happy. He could imagine a little girl, with green eyes and light brown hair, or a little boy the spitting image of Ben but with his eyes.

Ben shook his head. "Not till five months. I'm… not sure I want to know yet either. I mean, do you? I'm still a bit undecided."

"Not many surprises in life, I'm happy to wait until the birth," he let Ben lean on him a bit "I can't wait to meet them though."

"Me neither, love." Ben gave his belly a little rub. "Keep growing, bugga. You're doing well so far in there. Mummy and daddy will see you on the other side in twenty six more weeks."

"Stay safe in there, bug," he moved to kneel in front of the couch, face just inches away from Ben's belly. "I love you so much already. Both you and your mama."

"Baby loves you too," Ben promised. "They can't wait to see papa, cuddle him and give kisses and all of that. It'll be lovely, I know it." Ben gently ran his fingers through Gwil's hair. It was quite sweet, the attention to his tummy, bump or not.

Gwil let his head fall carefully onto the bump. Well, where there will be a bump soon. "Thank you so much for this."

"I could say the same to you." Ben smiled down at him lovingly. "I couldn't be doing it without you, and I thank you so much. It might sort of be tricky, but there's nothing I'd rather do." It was a quiet, peaceful little moment. Quite calm and relaxed, until Ben's stomach decided to speak up, as he was growing hungry. It only made Ben blush and shake his head.

"So what's little Bug wanting, Italian?" Gwil laughed, kissing the belly before getting up, grabbing both of Ben's hands in an effort to lift him off the sofa. Not that he was struggling - but Gwil wanted to do everything for him, not let Ben lift a finger his whole pregnancy. "We could probably drag Joe and Rami to that new place across from the studio."

"Now that you mention it, it does sound really good." Ben nodded and smiled softly at that. Delicious. "Right. Let's go get the guys, I'll go get my jacket." 

They headed off to the little place together. It sort of felt like the band. Ben remembered reading that Brian had said that especially in the earlier days, the 70s, and even through the 80s, the boys usually always ate meals together after shows. Even on the day of Freddie's funeral, rather than go to the garden lodge with the others, the three survivors had gone out for a quiet lunch.

Rami sat beside Joe, opposite the couple. "So do you two have a plan as to what bits of the tour you can go on?" They all knew Ben couldn't last until the end, but no one knew until when they could go.

"Not entirely sure." Ben leaned on Gwil. "Technically, I can fly until I hit the eight months mark, but I don't know if I'm able to really go that far. I think I'll have to miss Japan."

"Well, you're due in February, so - do you want to say before Christmas?" Gwil looked at the calendar app on his phone. Christmas would leave Ben at seven and a half months, which let them travel, but also gave them time to move into the house. "Where are we then?"

"Mm… we'll have just gotten done in America." Ben nodded. "Then there's a bit more in Europe, Japan, and then the premiere. I should be able to make it… can you imagine us and our baby on the red carpet?" 

"That would be a cute way to tell the public, we can get into the building quickly so as not to scare the baby." he knew inside there would be upstairs so that the noise wouldn't annoy their child, and also that if they did cry - no one would hear.

"We could always get them ear plugs," Joe added. "And a tiny pair of sunglasses, for the flash." 

"Yes, that'd be incredible." Ben beamed. "And I'm sure I could help keep them hush through the movie. It won't be too long, and I can always step out."

"I doubt anyone would mind, your kid's gonna be adorable - I mean, look at the pair of you." Rami smiled, looking between the couple. Yeah, there's no way they'd have ugly kids.

"Thanks, Rami." Ben smiled and nodded. "I hope they take after their papa." he added softly, looking up at Gwil.

"Yeah… man. Where is the waiter? Is he out killing the cow or something?" Joe looked around, shaking his head as the others giggled.

Luckily for Joe the food was pretty quickly brought to them after that. "So any of you got projects lined up for next year?" Rami asked, having been offered a job. 

"Might do some theatre," Gwil answered, "later in the summer in London if possible."

"Nothing for me, mate." Ben shook his head. "But I've got mum stuff to do. Might as well focus on that." 

"I don't know yet," Joe admitted. "I guess we'll wait and see."

"’Mum stuff'... You really down play how big a role you're taking on compared to the rest of us." Gwil commented, aware he himself would be taking on a new title once his child was born. He rubbed his knuckles gently on the side of Ben's belly, there was a slight rise, not quite a bump: but soon it would be.

Ben smiled at that, nodding and sipping his sparkling water. He was slowly adjusting to his body, which was difficult because it kept changing. "Yeah, it is a lot to take on I s'pose. But I think I'll be able to manage. I'll have your help, remotely or in house, depending on the work schedule."

"Well I'm not doing much until after the three month mark," Gwil said, looking at Ben "I don't want to be jetsetting and come back to find bug doesn't recognise me."

"I don't think that could happen," Ben replied, looking up at him with a smile. "But that means a lot to me. I expect I'll probably need the help." 

"Yeah, parenting is probably a two person job," Joe added. "I know some people do it on their own, but I think it takes two people to make a baby for a reason."

"Yeah, don't get me wrong: single parents are incredibly strong, but a kid should have at least two adult influences," Gwil said, finishing up his food. "We should probably get going, drive to Brummie tomorrow."

"Oh yeah, Ben's going to meet the in-laws," Joe teased, winking at them, and getting Ben to blush shyly. "Don't take that too seriously, you'll be fine. You're a nice guy, they have no reason not to like you." 

"Thanks, Joe." Ben finished his drink, standing up with Gwil. "We'll see you guys on Monday."

"He's right, you know. They should be really pleased to meet you," they'd never outright hated anyone that any of their children had brought back. There was a first for everything. But Gwil doubted it, "I've said you're teetotal and eating up for a role, that should stop them questioning your food patterns."

Ben chuckled softly. "You didn't need to excuse my eating habits, babes. But I do appreciate the effort." He did really appreciate Gwil going out of his way so much, as he climbed back into their car to head back to the flat. Ben's things were all together, packed for the early morning journey, and he wasn't nearly as nervous as he could've been about meeting the Lees.

"I know, but the gatherings can get a bit sloshy: dad brings traditional Welsh ale, and there's usually summat in the black pudding." Great ability the Welsh had - sneak alcohol into any bit of food. 

The next morning was an early one, so they went to bed quite soon after getting to the flat. They were at Ben's since he was closer and Gwil had started to sort through his things first so that there was time to comfortably move both of them and sort the new place before the tour.

The move was scheduled as soon as the shooting was over. Ben could hardly wait, setting up the home, and especially the nursery. He had ideas for the walls, he'd already looked up furniture online, and he knew the color scheme he was going for. It would be quite fun. Only a few weeks to go, and they'd be there. Ben slept well through the night, waking up with his alarm at sunrise. He got himself up a bit, washing his face and letting Frankie out, then coming down to make them some tea (caffeine free for himself, and gunpowder green for Gwil). He had Frankie's little dog bag packed too, because he'd gotten permission to take the little pup along.

"I'm going to put the stuff in the car, we'll be going soon." He called, carrying out the bags and dog carrier (plus Frankie). He had to admit he was purposely doing the heavy lifting, but he wouldn't have it any other way. 

The drive to Birmingham was about an hour and a half, but since they weren't staying over like his siblings, they were expected to be there earlier. They arrived at the street, Gwil parked a little further down so that they could have a moment without his parents seeing the car and coming out to see what was taking so long. "You ready, love?"

"I'm ready." Ben smiled and gave his hand a little squeeze, pecking his lips. He was still a little nervous, but he knew he'd be okay. He had Gwil there after all. Ben got Frankie out of the back, not bothering to leash her. The little gal kept close to his feet, walking up to the door with him and Gwil. Ben's hand didn't leave Gwil's until they reached the door to knock.

Gwil knocked, but entered anyway, "Mum! I'm home." He called, looking around the kitchen seeing plates of things being prepared. He took Ben's hand, giving him a reassuring squeeze. 

At that point, a smallish woman walked in, "Gwilym, darling!" She gave him a tight hug then pulled away sharply, "Go help your father with the table when you've put your things down."

"Uh… I'm Ben," The blonde added shyly, once Gwilym and his mother had separated. "It's lovely to meet you, Mrs Lee. I've only heard good things, and I thank you for having me over."

"Nonsense, sweetie. If you're with Gwil you're part of the family - that means you're welcome. Also means you can make yourself useful and take these into the garden." She handed Ben some cutlery and napkins, giving him a curt smile, before landing Gwil with the pile of plates. 

Gwil led the way into the garden area "Sorry, she can be a little overwhelming. She likes you though - if she didn't you'd know."

"Of course." Ben chuckled softly, following him with the other supplies. Frankie still lingered close, following them out into the garden. Ben set the supplies around at each place setting, following Gwil's lead with the plates. "Seems like we've got a small crowd."

"Yeah, so quick guide, Geraint, Rhiannon and Owen are over there," he pointed to various folk at the other side of the garden that were standing with significant others and small children, "Next to Owen is dad, and the beard is uncle Iain, and my grandparents are by the table. Also the older woman talking to mum is auntie Sarah - not related to anyone but I always remember her turning up to these things." He wilted off the names, hoping not to seem like a madhouse.

It was definitely more people that Ben expected. He certainly wasn't going to remember all the names. He would just smile and nod along, try to use generic terms when he referred to them later on. "You've got quite the family going," Ben mused. He wondered if the next time they saw them all might be a baby shower.

"All the family I need is with you," he kissed Ben quickly, his eyes fleeting down for a second, just so Ben could see he meant both of them . 

"Oy oy! Looks like Gwily has a shag finally!" Owen came towards them, clapping Gwil on the shoulder, making the younger sibling groan and roll his eyes.

Ben chuckled slightly, nodding and reaching down to pet Frankie. "I won't deny you that. A pretty damn good one, I'd say."

Gwil flushed bright red, not keen on his pregnant boyfriend talking to his brother about his sex life. "Right, O, point made - go away." He tried to shove off his older brother before he ended up with the inevitable nuggy.

Ben shook his head, scooping up Frankie gently. She'd been sniffing around some flowers, and Ben didn't want her getting too nosy or stepping on them. He kissed her head, keeping her close for now. "Didn't think I'd bump into someone taller than you, babe."

"Gerry's taller still, it's kinda annoying actually," Owen had buggered off and stood near his brother ready to attack again. Gwil stroked Frankie's ear from Ben's hold.

"The meal's nearly ready - I'll introduce you to dad. How's your Welsh?"

"Horrendous," Ben replied. "I try to practice with Gwil, but I can hardly speak the Queen's English."

"Just remember, if they ask you to put summat in the popty ping, it's not an insult, it's a microwave." Gwil said guiding them across the garden.

"Good to keep in mind." Ben still stayed close, aware that he might need a Gwil translation at any given moment. He'd just hope to keep up.

They reached Gwil's dad, who was a slightly shorter man who looked a lot like Gwil, but greyer, more weather beaten. He looked Ben up and down, giving him a stern look.

"You’d a be good to my boy, ye hear me lad?" He said in a broad Welsh accent.

"I wouldn't dream of anything else, sir," Ben promised, nodding quickly. More intimidating than he'd figured.

"Dad, he's good to me, more than I deserve," Gwil smiled, taking Ben's hand in his as Frankie curled up by their feet. He picked up the little dog.

“Aye, and none of that shenanigans, boy.” His dad walked off after that since he was being called to carry some food out.

"Well, why don't we go sit down, we're on the opposite end, dad will be next to mum and Rhi."

"Sounds good to me." Ben could probably keep Frankie in his lap for the meal. It'd feel about right for him. The meal itself was made up of far too much food washed down with beer and water. 

"So what's your plan then? The pair of you boys." Gwil's gran asked, glancing at the pair - she was old, not much stayed in her memories nowadays, even some of the older memories were fading.

"Umm, well we're going to live together soon, in London." Gwil answered, noticing his own accent had gotten stronger.

"I'll be guessing you'll find yourself a wife soon," She said, ignoring Gwil shaking his head, "What about you, Estron?" She glanced at Ben - using the word for foreigner.

"Uh… well I should hope that he wouldn't be finding a wife myself," Ben replied with a bit of a chuckle. "I'll be moving in with him, actually. I've been his partner for a while now, ma'am."

"Oh, you're one of them," she said smiling between the two - clearly not bothered by the concept even if she was behind on the terms. "Guess I'll get no great grandchildren from you then, Gera- Gwilym."

Ben wanted to say something else, but he just pressed his lips together and nodded a bit. No need to confuse her now. He just pet Frankie a little, eyes wandering to his sweater-covered belly for a moment.

Gwil didn't try to explain it either. She wasn't going to tell anyone, he doubted she would even remember. The meal and desert went down without a hitch, the general conversation revolving around what everyone was doing at work or keeping the kids entertained. Afterwards, those that had planned to go to the rugby started to organise lifts to get there.

"Could you take Eilian to the park while I take the others and clear up?" His sister looked at him, holding a one year old boy in her arms looking tired. “If I ask dad he’ll just go to the match with him.”

"I'm happy to, wanna come with Ben?" He said, but really he wanted the practice with the infant.

"Yes, of course." Ben smiled and nodded. Frankie could come along, just find a new grassy patch to nap in if nothing else. He would like the practice too, plus playing with kids could be pretty fun. He'd follow Gwil off to the little playground, while the other man talked to the little one a bit, who was prattling on in its own little language.

"So this is your uncle Ben," he pointed the baby towards the blond. The baby reached up a chubby hand to Ben 

"Eo!" He shrieked, trying to greet him as well as he could.

"You know Eily, you'll have a cousin soon. But keep it to yourself, eh kid? You can play with them next year."

Ben chuckled softly. "I doubt he gets it. But I can imagine our little bean will be quite happy to have a bunch of nice cousins like him."

"They learn faster when they're talked to like a conversation: gets their brain to process speech." He bounced the baby on his hip, but the baby was reaching out to Ben."You wanna hold him?"

"Sure, I do." Ben took him carefully. "Alright, you little sprog. You've got my attention. You wanna get some of that energy out? Yeah, let's do it." He walked him over to the play area, humming softly. Eilian wasn't too much of a walker yet, but Ben helped him climb/crawl up the steps, all three of them. Ben sat at the top of the small slide, Eil on his lap. "Alright, we'll go down in one… two... three!" It was hardly a slide, Ben's legs basically the length, but the enthusiasm was there, and it got the baby clapping. "Yay, you did it!"

Gwil could imagine that being his life: Ben taking their child to the park, a little toddler with green eyes running from Ben's arms towards him in that stumbly childish way. He saw Ben was now on a swing with the baby in his arms (there were baby swings but they might have scared Eil a bit). "You'll be a great mum, darling."

"Thank you, love." Ben replied, still gently rocking and humming. "I can't wait to see you being a dad either. You're so good with the little ones yourself."

Gwil smiled at him, " I hope so." The swing had come to a halt, he kneeled down in front of it, making faces at the baby earning a giggle. He put his hands over his face and did peek a boo. "I'm happy this will be us soon. I know we didn't plan it, but it happened, and that's the best thing that could've happened."

"Honestly, yeah, I completely agree." Ben grinned. "It'll be lovely having a little poppet of our own to play with, take care of. I don't mind it one bit with these little ones. And our new house has a lovely yard to play around in."

"We can set up a swing set with a slide for when they're older," there was space, the garden was pretty big and had high fences so they couldn't get lost and no one could get at their privacy, "Bug could play with their cousins or... Siblings. Maybe."

"Are you asking for more children before we've even had one?" Ben chuckled softly, shaking his head. "No, but I agree. The little one should have some in house playmates, sooner than later. We seem to be prime for growing a nice little family right about now."

"I mean, we can burn those bridges as we come to them, but yeah, if you still want to after this one. And if I still have a knob after you've been in labour with my baby for several hours," he knew that level of pain could make people angrier and he'd seen in many films and TV shows where the husband's are being threatened. "How many you thinking?"

"Maybe… four or five?" Ben would be happy with three, but he could imagine them with a little clan of their own. "I don't know. As many as feels right at the time, I suppose."

"I can live with that," he was himself part of a big family, so had some idea of the complexity of it. But he also appreciated how good it was to be part of a unit like that - and with himself and Ben at the helm they'd have a wonderful future.

"Yeah… you getting bored with the swing, buddy?" Ben looked down, to where the toddler was starting to drift off in his lap. Naptime, it seemed. He stopped swinging, standing up and shifting the boy in his arms, to hold him more supportively on his chest. Ben rubbed Eilian's back a bit, humming a Queen song as the baby nodded off. He was completely asleep before long.

"Do you want me to carry him back? He might be a bit hefty." Gwil reached his arms out to pick up the child, who was too asleep to be woken by the action.

"Yeah, here." Ben gently handed him over. "He's a bit much for my back right now. Technically, in my second trimester, I'm recommended to refrain from carrying around 'toddlers and other small children' I think it's a tip for people with more than one kid especially, but I can see why now."

Gwil nodded, snuggling the baby into the crook of his neck and carrying him on his chest. Eilian wasn't exactly heavy, but children could be awkward enough to carry. "You concentrate on our one for now, I'll take my sister's," he looked at Eil again, noticing he didn't really look much like the Lee side of the family, "What do you think Bug will look like?"

"Hmm… I imagine maybe… I don't know." He looked over at him. "Maybe green eyes? Or green/blue, a blend of ours. I don't want to guess details, I'll either be right and get cocky or be totally wrong and ruin the vision. I just really hope they turn out as loving and handsome as their papa."

"Or as sweet and caring as their mama," he balanced the infant on one arm so he could link his free hand with his boyfriend. "They'll be perfect no matter what they look like, cause they're ours."

"Of course."


	17. Chapter 17

They reached the home again before long. Ben was pretty tired, settling on the sofa for a bit. Frankie hopped up in his lap, instinctively nosing at his belly and hand. Ben smiled softly at that. Frankie knew. 

"You're a good boy, Frankie," he said softly, looking around at the others bustling about and chattering, often in Welsh. It was pretty tricky to grasp, sort of made his head spin.

"You're a good lad, Estron," Gwil's mother sat down next to Ben, "He's never brought anyone to a family gathering before, I take it you're a serious relationship then?"

"Pretty serious, yeah." Ben nodded. "I mean, soon as the filming is over we're moving in together in London. We picked out a house together and all. He's… he means so much to me, I really do love him, so so much."

"We'll be seeing a lot more of you then," she didn't exactly smile - her youngest baby was all grown up and settling down. She was happy, but it was still new. "Be good to each other, you're family now - as I said, so keep each other well."

"Of course." Ben nodded sincerely and pet Frankie a little. "I only want what's best for him. He makes me happy, happier than I've ever been, and I seem to be doing the same thing. We just feel right together."

"I'll let you go now, I think Gwilym's probably wondering where you are - though if you're interested one of the shelves in his old bedroom has the family albums." She tapped his knee, getting up and heading out to the kitchen again.

Ben smiled a little. He was definitely interested in that, making sure he investigated soon. For now, he got himself back up, wandering back over to Gwil. He was a bit tired still, but he'd at least stay nearby. "I heard tell there are baby albums nearby?" Ben rested his head on Gwil's shoulder.

"Yeah, unfortunately there is evidence of my childhood," he shook his head, knowing there was embarrassing photos in the collection, "I can take a couple of drinks and snacks up to the room and you can torture me with the photos if you want - we've got time." It was only four o'clock and even if they weren't staying for tea they could spend a little longer there.

"Yeah, let's do that." Ben nodded and kissed his cheek. "I'm getting pretty low, tired. Won't last much longer at this rate." Ben headed upstairs with Gwil, Frankie in arms, and settled back on the bed. He took a sip of the water that Gwil offered him, nibbling on something to up his blood sugar while Gwilym searched the shelf, taking down the albums. Ben scooted close to Gwil, leaning on him gently as they started looking through pages.

The photos ranged more or less through the first twenty years of his life at various events, school pictures, the rugby, gatherings, holidays etc. But he noticed Ben's interest piqued when he got to the earliest album, the one that was just his (there were 4 separate ones from the main lot for the siblings to have their own pictures).

"Guess that must've been my first Wales game." He pointed to the first photo, a baby wrapped in a green and white scarf at a stadium.

"Aw, bless your heart. You must've been so confused." Ben chuckled softly. "All the noise and the yelling and all. Hardly a place for a baby. You can hardly even see your face, but those eyes seem wide and terrified."

"Start ‘em young on sport seems to be the tradition. Should have heard dad when Rhi said she wasn't taking her kids, he keeps trying to take Eilian to the games - hence why she gave him to us and not dad," Gwil laughed, knowing his nephews and nieces had all been dragged to watch the games they didn't understand. "Better be prepared to fend off that attack when Bug gets here."

"I will be, I will be." Ben flipped the page, cooing softly. "Oh my goodness, look at that. You're so happy with the sheep." Little Gwil was propped up beside some lambs. He looked absolutely thrilled, hands patting one of the fluffy ones closest to him.

"Must've just turned three in that one," he didn't remember the lambs, but he'd been told lots about the farm animals they'd had briefly. Then he looked at the next few pictures - it was the whole family at some summer resort at the beach, "I think I remember that holiday."

"Your cheeks are so rosy," Ben noted. "You look so happy, in your floppy little hat and all. Seems like you still got a bit sunburned, though. But you're such a cutiepie. I hope little bug looks like you."

"With your emerald eyes though," Gwil adored Ben's eyes, they weren't exactly green- more like a mixture of gold and blue that came off as a fetching green tone: like the sea when it's clear, or leaves just before autumn. "We can teach them about films and music, maybe even a bit of Welsh."

"Oh dear, then I won't even understand them." Ben laughed softly and shook his head. "But I can imagine it. It'd be pretty precious, I can imagine. I wonder what accent they'll pick up."

"I'm guessing a pretty clear accent, mine’s not strong and you don't really sound from anywhere in particular, if they get any it'll be London." Gwil thought about it for a minute, Bug would probably end up saying some words in a specific accent like Ben does, but across the board they'd sound neutral.

"That makes sense I s'pose." Ben nodded and kissed his shoulder. He yawned a bit, rubbing his eyes. "God, today's been a day and a half. I'm thoroughly wiped."

"Come on, we'll say our goodbyes and shoot." He put away the albums, looking around his old bedroom, it hadn't really been changed since he went to university.

Ben got up from the bed, walking downstairs. Frankie was by his feet again, trotting along. He held Gwil's hand as they walked downstairs, Gwil giving his hugs and Ben giving his handshakes.

"Since you're still with me I guess they didn't scare you off too badly then." he raised his eyebrows as he started the car. He was getting tired himself so God only knew how bad Ben was feeling the long day.

Ben nodded a little. He had the dog back in his lap. Frankie wasn't a big fan of cars. "They weren't too bad. Not as bad as we expected."

"Well now that's over we can look forward to the scan," they hadn't had time to think about much else than filming and the tricky issues the pregnancy caused rather than the pregnancy itself. But now they had a plan for telling folk, filming was wrapping up and they were weeks away from a house. "I'm excited to see Bug, I've never been to a scan before."

"It was quite exciting the first time." Ben smiled softly at the memory. "Roger was there. As soon as the baby came on, I got this… tug in my chest. Then the heartbeat came on and I… I was crying."

"I'm just sorry I missed it," Gwil said sadly, feeling Ben's hand on his thigh- he couldn't look across since the road was too dark, but he could guess Ben was about to apologise, "It's not your fault or anything - but I feel like that was a milestone and I missed it."

"It's only because I didn't tell you." Ben shook his head. "You won't miss another one, I promise. The scan tomorrow will be perfect. Just me and you and our little bug. You'll love it."

"I'm holding you to that promise," he smiled, driving the car the rest of the way in relative silence, he noticed Ben nodding off half way home. When they did get to the flat, he carefully opened the door and carried in the bags and still sleeping dog, going back for Ben. He decided Ben wasn't pregnant enough to be heavy, and just about managed to carry him through the door and to their bed.

Ben giggled a little when he was scooped up, shaking his head. He insisted he could walk, but gave in and held onto Gwil and he carried him inside and to their bedroom. Ben changed into his pajamas, sitting back in the bed after to get comfy. The next day would be one to remember.

Gwil could barely sleep, he spent the night with Ben curled up into his side. He kept a hand on the still flat bump throughout the night. That morning, he got up and got the breakfasts ready, waking Ben up with a kiss.

Ben smiled and kissed him back gently when he realized. There wasn't a nicer way to wake up really. He looked up at him and gave his hand a little squeeze. "Good morning, darling...mm, something smells quite nice downstairs." He stretched a bit. "What have you put together for us?'

"Eggs - the way you do them - with bacon and hash browns," they went down stairs, sitting at the table Gwil could feel his leg bouncing "How big is the little one one now?”

"About the size of a bell pepper," Ben replied, hand brushing across the bottom of his belly. "But with the appetite of a grown adult. Feels like I haven't eaten in a week already."

"Good thing I made plenty," he served up the food when it was done, tidying up as Ben went to get ready, he barely noticed time moving as they got to the appointment, sitting in the waiting room holding Ben's hand tight.

Ben didn't let him go. Well, he did let go, to fill in the forms. Then he had the full physical, which wasn't too bad, before they got to the exciting bit. This was it. Ben routinely tucked his shirt up and rolled his pants down to his lower waist. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment as the cold gel was spread, but then looked up. There the little one was, floating delicately in the space inside of him.

Gwil had taken hold of Ben's hand during the gel part, but his eyes didn't leave the screen, it was black to begin with, then grainy and finally there was a bean shape on the monitor. Gwil noticed the drops of water rolling down his cheeks but didn't move to wipe them. "I... That's, that's Bug?"

"It is." Ben smiled softly. They were even more precious than last time. When the heartbeat came on, he was openly teary too. He squeezed Gwil's hand routinely, just watching the little one move their hands and feet and head. He couldn't be more in love with his little darling. Boy or girl, he didn't care (it was a bit too soon to see). They were perfect.

The doctor told them everything looked good, that Ben should start showing over the next month or so, but that it probably wouldn't be obvious for a while after because of his build. They were given more sonographs and scheduled their next appointment. The doctor left the room to let Ben clean up."I love you so much"

"I love you too, darling." Ben kissed Gwil softly, as his partner helped gently clean the gel from his stomach with the paper towels. He looked from the small curve to the images in his hand. "Our little bug. Look at them, love. Safe and sound and growing."

"Just think, five months from now, we'll have our baby all safe and tucked up in our arms - little bug out there in the big bad world," he helped Ben sit up. "It's so close now and we're a family - with a kid and a dog and a home."

"Yeah." Ben kissed his cheek and nodded, stretching a bit as he straightened up. "You were quite good at the doctor's today," he added playfully. "You'll be getting a sticker and a lollipop for it."

"Has to be a fireman Sam sticker," he took another look at the picture before putting it in his wallet, he'd stopped crying by then but his eyes were red rimmed still. "It feels real now. I mean, I knew what was going to happen before: but it's like it just sank in."

"I know. It adds a whole new layer to it all." Ben kept one hand in Gwil's, the other one resting on his stomach. "We'll have to send a picture of the scan to Roger. He wants me to keep him updated on the whole thing."

"Yeah, Brian's been the same, giving me tips on how to help you and dad things," he felt a pleasant tingle when he said 'dad': it's what he would become, "Looks like they'll come into a massive family. A mix of blood relations, actors and rock stars. And the scrawny kid from Jurassic park."

Ben chuckled softly and nodded. Joe was certainly a character. Both their co-actors were, as well as their other co-stars in the film,but the four of them were certainly the tightest. It did seem as if Rami was getting just a bit tighter to Lucy, while Joe remained stag, but it didn't alter their dynamic as a group one bit. Ben took a picture of the scan, sending it along to Roger with a little update. He let him know things were going well, he'd met the family, all that good stuff. They'd have to have some sort of housewarming when he and Gwil had settled into their new place.

"We better get going back to the car," they'd picked up the details they needed for the next appointment and had everything for this one done "have we got much else on the day?"

"No. I think we get to just… go home and put our feet up. Maybe get a bit more packing done." Ben smiled softly. It wouldn't be bad. They were already living out of cardboard boxes and suitcases, so basically, soon as the movie was over, they'd be transporting their things to the new place.

"Sounds like a plan," they did go home, quickly sending the photos of the scan to the band group chat and to Roger (and therefore Brian too). They spent the rest of the day relaxing, Gwil shifted some books into storage and moved some of the less vital furniture along with it. They hadn't got anything for Bug yet, there was no point adding to the amount of boxes when they could buy stuff later, but Gwil had bought a pair of mittens, the newborn kind so that the baby can't scratch themselves. He hadn't said anything to Ben about them, but he kept them safe at his bedside table.

Ben was double checking that all the boxes were labeled correctly and taped shut. Joe had volunteered to help them unpack and carry things, since Ben wasn't allowed to do any heavy lifting. Ben wanted to make sure Joe didn't mix anything up, so he carefully put in sharpie the contents of every box. "You've never moved, have you, Frankie?" Ben sat down next to the curious dog, who was sniffing a box. "You'll like the new place, I promise. It'll be perfect for you and Bug."

Gwil re-entered Ben's flat, having been at the new place to help shift the boxes. "99% sure Joe's mixed up the boxes - so good luck finding your clothes, they were with the linen and dishcloths last I saw them," Gwil leaned over and pecked the blond's cheek, putting a hand on the bump. Frankie gave him a look so he moved to pet the puppy, who at this point was basically his dog too. "Just the bedroom to go yeah?"

"Yeah, just the bedroom." Ben looked up at him. "I'm sure we can sort it out. I'll be the one folding and organizing. Leave the men's work to you two hunks." That was obviously a bit of a tease. Ben had better arms than either of them, and Joe was hardly a big guy. But doctor's orders. He was sitting the transport out.

Gwil rolled his eyes at that, he didn't care much what he looked like - but he did have some muscle to him. Well more than Joe. "If you want to go through the things - I'm going to get the van over do we can take the mattress and bed frame." They had managed by using the two cars for the boxes and smaller furniture, but had hired a van for the heavy and bigger bits. There had been talk of hiring folk to help from a company: but that fell through pretty quickly. There was no guarantee that the press wouldn't be leaked about the relationship (which would be blatant).

"I'll make sure everything's ready." Ben kissed his cheek. "I think...we should be ordering some dinner about now, don't you think? I'm really in the mood for Chinese."

"I can pick something up on the way back from getting the van, then we call it a night?" He raised his eyebrows in question. To be honest, since the fridge was at the new address they'd been forced to eat take out or basic tinned food.

"Yes, sounds perfect, dear." Ben smiled and nodded, giving his hand a little squeeze. "I can stay here and double check a few more things. Maybe Frankie might need a little walk as well. A breath of fresh air and a stretch would do us both good."

"Right, I shouldn't be more than half an hour- depends how busy the Chinese is," he gave him a chaste kiss, leaving with his usual 'be back soon, love' and headed off to get the van, driving it back via the take away and getting Ben's favourite, with some sparkling water and various goodies (mostly chocolate). He knew Ben had to eat healthy, but once in a while it wouldn't hurt to let loose a little.

Ben had taken a little stroll in the meantime. It was basically the last walk through their familiar London neighborhood. Ben had lived there since he first moved from his parents' house and it did make him a bit nostalgic. But he was more happy than ever for his new life with Gwil. He was home in time to meet Gwil at the door. Ben had worked up his appetite properly by then, and was more than happy to settle with Gwil and dig in.

"You know me so well," he mused, between bites of noodles.

"Thought you might like that," he left some dog food for Frankie. " You okay? Last night in your home, from now on, everything changes." It was a big move - even if he had lived in a few different places, he'd never actually owned a house before. And as much as he knew the baby was going to be born in a few months, a new house made it feel like they were a family.

"Yeah. I was just thinking about it." Ben nodded and looked around. "It's pretty crazy. But I couldn't be more thrilled. This is going to be good for us. Frankie will have more space, the baby will have space...it'll be perfect for us. I can hardly wait."

"Why don't we call it an early night then," he picked up the empty trays, dumping the lot in the bin (since they had used the plastic cutlery too). "Last night celebrations?"

"Which is it? Early night or celebrations?" Ben smiled at him playfully, letting Gwil pull him up to his feet. He wasn't sure exactly what his partner had in mind here. He wasn't too tired, yet.

Gwil kissed him, letting his hands land on his boyfriend's waist, feeling where their child grew. He pulled away after a minute, "I was thinking early to bed. Celebrate for a while.” He smirked waiting for Ben to clock on to what he was saying.

"Mmm. Last night in our old bed." Ben nodded and rested their foreheads together. "It sounds like a worthy occasion to me. Just gotta make sure Frankie's out the door. I'm afraid she probably saw our very first time."

"Let's not traumatise the poor thing," another reason to wish he didn't get drunk and mess things up so early on in their connaissance. "God knows what he saw in Ibiza."

"Oh, the poor little baby." Ben looked down at her. "Don't worry, dearest. Never again. We'll keep things to ourselves from now on… starting now." Ben tugged on his arm, taking Gwil back to their room. He closed the door, before leaning up to capture him in a heated kiss. Ben was a bit extra driven by hormones, gripping Gwil's hair a little as he pried his tongue in.

Gwil let his hands roam over Ben's body, pushing the younger man against the wall, feeling Ben's hands on the back of his neck deepening the kiss. Gwil's hands explored further, gently squeezing Ben's ass. He was still being extra careful not to hurt the baby. "You're my world, Ben."

"And you're mine, babe." Ben closed his eyes, breathing softly and purring a little. It felt so good. Gwil was an incredible man. But he also had the physical attributes to back it up.

Gwil kissed down Ben's neck and to his collarbone, stopping to swoop down and pick Ben up, carrying him the short distance to the bed, landing them both in the middle so Ben was beneath him. He continued his kissing, leaving the collar and traveling to Ben's naval. He stayed there for, nudging Ben's shirt out the way he stayed there for a while, nudging Ben's shirt out the way before crawling back up to kiss his boyfriend slowly.

Ben could only purr and softly moan. The touches were perfect, angelic on his skin. He'd let Gwil linger as long as he wanted, running his fingers through the short, brown hair again. "Your lips are so soft," he breathed. "Mm… I can hardly wait for your beard to come back, love. It looks so handsome on you."

Gwil grinned, he remembered Ben being rather pleased the few times he was able to get past stubble without having to shave for filming. "Not as good as you look on me," he took a minute to really see Ben, he was flushed red; eyes darker and his hair looked golden by the dim lights. He pulled his own shirt over his head, kissing Ben as he started to unbutton the blond's top.

Ben could only intently nod along. He felt good. Really good. And it was only going to get better. The entire night was blissful. Ben fell fast asleep in Gwil's arms after a few rigorous rounds. He did wake up around one am, insisting Gwil go get the chocolate he'd bought earlier for a snack. Once the baby was sated again, he'd fall back asleep.

Gwil had decided early on when Ben had revealed the pregnancy, that if he was asked for anything at any time- he would drop everything to do it. So far he'd been lucky and not had to go further than the kitchen, but later on in the pregnancy cravings might get stronger. Then he would happily (or at least willingly) drive to wherever sold what was needed.

Ben tried not to be too demanding. He promised himself he wasn't gonna be one of those awful pregnant people that have their s/o's making gross, unheard of combos or searching desperately for out of season fruits and veggies. Once in a while, he couldn't help himself, but he was keeping things mild as can be. The next day, they both got up and had their little breakfast. Joe came over and helped them pack the rest of the bedroom up, while Ben triple checked that every little thing was out of the apartment, and clean (he wanted his deposit back). Ben took Frankie for one more little jog, and then they were packed up and on their way.


	18. Chapter 18

They drove up to the house with the very last things. "Ready to start our new life?" Gwil parked up, looking at Ben before getting out, joining their hands as they walked up towards the door, slotting the key in. "This is it, our house, were are family will grow up, where our children will remember years to come, where we'll live as a proper couple." He didn't open the door, still holding Ben's hand in his.

"It's perfect, Gwil." Ben looked over at him, smiling softly. "I'm ready," he added softly, kissing his lips softly. "Hmm… should we do the bridal style thing? Carry me over the doorway for good luck?"

Gwil didn't reply, giving Ben a grin, before sweeping him up. He could just about feel the slight weight different from a few months ago. He opened the door with Ben in his arms, kissing him deeply as they walked in through the threshold. In his head he had planned something, for Valentine's. Something that would change things.

Ben kissed him back, a broad smile on his face as he closed his eyes. He had his arms around him, and his whole world was Gwil when they kissed like this. Everything else faded. He and Gwil, that was it. Everything he needed. Well, and the baby and Frankie, of course, but in moments like that, it was just them.

"Good luck then?" He let Ben down to his feet, kissing him again. He looked around the house, imagining how it would look, fully painted and decorated - with their furniture and baby proofing fitted.

"Good luck," Ben agreed, nodding and staying close to him. Good luck indeed. They were going to need it.. 

They had a lot of work ahead of them. It took about two weeks after the filming wrapped up to get the house perfected. Walls painted, furniture moved in, and the two of them really settled in. Ben had stuck to light lifting, simply adding paint details and sorting out all the clothes, books and kitchen things. Gwil and Joe had carried furniture, done most of the painting (for the sake of the fumes) and other such arrangements.

They had a housewarming set for the Saturday to follow. Ben was nearly five months pregnant by then, and he had a real bump starting to grow in. It was still concealable under most clothes, but it felt more real. Speaking of feeling, the baby was also stirring a lot more, and Ben hadn't felt it on the outside yet, but definitely on the inside.

It was to be a modest housewarming. The cast was invited, cast being the band, Lucy and Allen, and of course Brian and Roger would be attending. Ben had spent the morning making little snacks and things for everyone to share, and by the time the guests were scheduled to arrive, he was adding finishing touches.

"Here we go...perfect." Ben stepped back, admiring the cute little platters he'd made up. Lots of fruit, veggies, cheese and crackers, plenty to nibble on, and drinks would be in the fridge. "Babe, any word from the company yet?"

"They're calling today, supposedly," he pinched a grape from Ben's bowl as he passed, he ate it quickly, kissing Ben and then the bump, earning an 'aww' from a few of the guests. He'd still not told his family about the baby, but he knew that Ben hadn't even mentioned being gay.

The close knit group of friends that were Queen and BoRhap felt like Ben's safe space. He could hold and kiss his boyfriend there, or wear a shirt that highlighted his new shape. Ben likes the way things were. He wished everyone was accepting as his friend group. 

"Alright, did everyone drop some names in the box?" Ben had come up with the idea of making a box for name suggestions. People wrote down names, for boys and girls, on slips of paper without their names. That way, there'd be no prejudice when considering if they liked them or not. Ben didn't plan to decide on a name today, but they'd see if any stuck.

"Has there been any guesses on the gender yet?" Gwil asked the guests, they still wouldn't know whether they would have a boy or a girl until the birth, but he was interested to see what everyone thought. Or bet, in the case of the other half of the band.

"It's gonna be a boy, I just know it," Joe insisted. "They're both too manly to have a girl." 

"That's not how babies work." Ben shook his head.

"No, Joe that's exactly how babies work, you work out how manly or feminine the parents are then you call up the stork to fly in the right one," Gwil said, ruffling Joe hair as if he was a child, earning a smack. They let everyone else place their bets, Rami and Roger said boy too, Allen Lucy and Brian said girl.

"Alright, name time." Ben reached into the box, taking out a slip. "We have… Reed for a boy and… Millicent for a girl. That's quite posh, isn't it?"

"I bet I know who to blame for that." Roger poked Brian gently. "He wanted to name one of our children Lawrence, and I wouldn't have it."

"And you wanted to call one of them Mercedes or Porsche," Brian argued back. 

"Well we know who wrote the next one," Gwil laughed reading the paper out loud, "Austin and Harley, technically a motorbike but still, Roger."

"Harley is also a lovely combination of your last names," Roger pointed out.

"Nice try." Ben shook his head, taking another slip. "Oh, you're taking the piss. Josephine? Honestly, Joe?" 

"What? Josie would be cute." Joe shrugged. "My other ideas were Maybel and Ronan." 

"Yeah… that's worse actually." Ben nodded in agreement.

"Well the next one is Margaret and Gregory," he wasn't keen on them much - they were quite traditional. He couldn't tell whether it was Lucy or Rami, but he guessed it was the Egyptian. There was only Allen and potentially Lucy, then also his and Ben's that hadn't come up yet.

"I mean… Gregory would suit you," Ben mused. "But I don't know if that's really for us. Margaret either." He set it aside and grabbed another. "Hmm… Luke, Evan, Lily and Jane. I like these ones actually." Ben had actually come up with those ones, but he wasn't acting like it.

Rami looked up for a second, forehead scrunched up, "What surname do they get?" That set the room to silence for a second.

"Not sure, guess it definitely whether Ben's having Jones or Hardy" Gwil looked over at Ben for an answer.

"I… don't think we've actually talked about that." Ben rubbed his side a bit. "I mean...I don't know. We haven't gone over it. I… probably Lee, I think." Ben didn't really fancy Jones himself. Hardy wasn't his legal name. Plus, if he and Gwil were really going to last… maybe he'd be a Lee at some point too.

"I'm happy with that." His plan seemed to fit even better now. He'd even had a look around for rings. Hadn't gotten anything, but he hesitated before not buying. "So we should find something that goes with Lee"

"Well it depends on the middle name too," Ben added. "Lily Jane Lee is quite nice. Or if it were a boy, Jason Lee, or Luke, as long as his middle name didn't start with L.'

"I quite like lily, perhaps as short for Lilith, or Gweneviere" he thought, Jane was still a good middle name, but he would like to have some Welsh in the name. "A boy... Maybe Ellis, or Rhydian"

"Those are quite regal," Ben mused. "They sound… Elvish or something. I quite like it too." 

"They suit you two." Roger added,looking over at the two. He couldn't help smiling, they were a sweet little duo, and quite cuddly. He could imagine them staying together for a long time at this rate.

"Thanks Rog," They hoped the names would appease everyone, not that it was imperative, but it would be nice. He let Ben sit down next to him, his hand reaching the bump. He basically wasn't gonna let go of the bump in case he missed the first kicks.

Ben leaned on him gently, looking down at the bump. He didn't have any particular feeling towards either gender just yet. Maybe it'd come on soon. Ben was always a bit nervous that he wouldn't be a great mum, but he didn't really talk about it.

"Well, we ought to let everyone get on," it was starting to get late- the snacks were eaten and there was very little to do. "I think there's a group chat so you can probably text in any such for names- Joe not you," the American gave him an offended look, "last time you suggested Tim Murphy."

"We have something for you first, dears." Roger picked up a bag, filled with tissue paper. He handed it to Ben, he delicately went through his. Ben took the little card out first.

"It's good for a drum lesson with Roger Taylor of Queen," Ben mused, handing it to Gwil. He reached into the bag again, beaming when he took out a tiny t-shirt that had the image of the Bohemian Rhapsody flyer. 

"It's a new prototype we're trying," Roger told them. "Thought you guys deserved the first one." 

"It's lovely." Ben nodded and looked it over again. "I'm sure the baby will look perfect in it."

"They're gonna be so adorable with it," Gwil thanked the old rock stars, "Wait a few years I'm sure bug can use the drumming lesson too."

"They certainly have the feet for it," Ben agreed, feeling the fluttering again. "Thanks again, guys, for everything."

"Our pleasure." There were some hugs exchanged, and the others left, leaving Ben and Gwil alone. Ben was pretty tired by then, ready to just have his feet up and relax. He leaned against Gwil's side, gently rubbing his belly and keeping his eyes closed for now. He wasn't ready to lay down quite yet. 

"I'm so glad we have such nice friends," he said softly.

"We really do. Bugs getting into a good family, the lot of them." He rubbed Ben's shoulders and the younger man snuggled into him. "You'll be such a good mum, you know? You love them so much already."

"...How do you know that?" Ben looked up at him. "I mean… how can you tell? I've never been a mum before or anything. Just loving them is enough?"

"Just loving them will always be enough. Ben, you've protected them since you knew about them, you love them unconditionally. I can tell by the way you rub the bump, and how you smile when someone mentions it, that you wake up cradling bug, fall asleep while scrolling through ideas on Pinterest. If you had to do it alone, you would be magnificent. Loving them makes it enough when you love as strong as you do."

"You always know what to say." Ben looked up at him with a soft smile. "I might've acted like I could do it alone, but I… I really couldn't, babe. I need you. They do too, and I love you so, so much." Ben leaned up and kissed him softly again, eyes closed. He pulled back a bit quickly, but it was to quickly move Gwil's hand to his belly. He waited, patiently, for just a few moments, and... "You… you can feel that, can't you?"

"That's the..." He could vaguely feel something, like a nudge, super light, barely noticeable. A kick. He felt the tears running down his cheeks as he let himself drop to the ground, kneeling in front of Ben, both hands on the bump with his face inches from it. "Hello..."

"They say hi right back," Ben mused, kissing his head. "They really like the sound of your voice, papa."

"Good, cause I'm going to talk to them non stop now," the baby could probably hear them now, "They are so loved."

"They really are." Ben rubbed his side softly. "Going to be distracting during the press tours, huh? Fluttering around and all. Roger warned me the kicks can get rough on your insides. The kids used to go for his lungs, knock the wind out of him."

"I can imagine that messed up his singing," he could vaguely recall a blooper recording of one of the high notes being cut short by a gasp, then some laughing from the others. "I'll give them a good talking to if they hurt their mama."

"It won't be their fault," Ben cooed softly. "I'll be just fine. Plus, you'll be 'round. Well...till I have to stay behind that is." Ben was just a bit nervous about that. He'd be fairly far along by then, and Gwil would have to be in the Japanese leg of the press tour. Not only would he be a bit wary because things would be tough on his own then but...he'd miss him a lot. He couldn't imagine not sleeping with Gwil's arms around him.

"I can skip the Japan part," he didn't want to admit to Ben how nervous he was that he was missing a chunk of the pregnancy. He knew he'd be back before the 34 week mark, but he kept going back to the idea that he could be delayed, or Ben could go into early labour. He imagined coming back to the airport to find out he'd missed the birth.

"No, darling, you can't." Ben shook his head, taking his hands. "You've got to keep at it. The fans deserve it. They're the reason us and Bug can be as comfortable as we are, have what we need...the reason we met, babes. Plus, I'll have Frankie, Roger will probably come 'round. We'll manage. And when you come back, we'll be almost ready for our little darling."

"Okay, but promise that if you even get an inkling that something is happening while I'm away, tell me," he squeezed Ben's hands.

"Of course I will." Ben rested his forehead on Gwil's. "I couldn't do it without you, babe. I need more than you know."

Gwil didn't contest the point, but he had a feeling he knew exactly how much Ben needed him, since it was probably as much as he needed Ben. "I love you. I'll be back from Japan as soon as the last thing is over." He knew there was an after party that Joe and Rami were attending that would put them on a flight a few days later, he was literally flying out as soon as the last interview was done. He wasn't really interested in partying when he could be snuggled up to his boyfriend and unborn child.

"I know you will, lovey." Ben brushed their lips together gently, hand on the side of Gwil's face. He knew he'd be texting him all the time, calling him when he could, etc. "Let's go and lie down. We'll be in a hotel in a few nights, and I'll miss our mattress."

"Okay," Gwil smiled, taking Ben's hand and guiding him up the stairs and to bed. The next few days were relaxed, they had bits and pieces to do for the promotion shots and whatnot. They had another scan, the baby was doing well, seemed to have picked up his height thought. Roger and Brian were still pestering for updates and sends along clothes. "Ben? Have you seen the latest from Bri and Rog?"

"No, not yet." Ben had been packing his bag, a bit distracted by the latest scan, though. He couldn't help it. He could look at the little image for ages on end. His baby was everything to him. But at Gwils words he wandered to the other room, Frankie close behind. "What have they done now?" he asked, shuffling over with one hand on his belly.

"I think they must've had an argument in a shop," he saw Ben's puzzled look and expanded, " they've sent a little newborn suit for the premier. The hat has music symbols on it and the shoes have teddy bears, so they agreed on that, they're similar colours too. But the top half has cars that don't match the planets on the trousers," they were clearly part of optional sets, and from a distance looked like they were the same, but up close you could see where they'd disagreed and chosen what they wanted.

"Oh goodness." Ben chuckled softly, shaking his head. That sounded like them. "Well I have my own ideas about the premiere. I appreciate the help, but they don't need to baby us as well. And we have an excuse because… well they're not going out looking like this, are they?"

"Leave them be, they're bored and it entertains them," he defended the old Rockers. "Still, nice to know they care. I know we both have reservations about telling family, but it's reassuring to know there's some older influences for us and Bug."

"Yes, definitely." Ben pet Frankie a little. "Uh… about your family… you think we should see them before the press tour? Like… just go and see them and let them know what's going on? Just a quick lunch and baby announcement. I'll probably be calling my parents as well, just to give them the heads up."

"If you want- lunch with my folks should be better since there won't be a whole bloody horde of them there," there wouldn't be a problem with his life choices, but if there was: he knew what he was going to pick. "Are you just going to call and leave it like that?"

"I mean… depending on what they say during the call I suppose." Ben scratched his head. "I might write out an email actually. The thing is… I feel like I'll be trying to get it out and say the wrong thing. I want to make sure I don't break down and start crying or anything. I'll tell them to call me when they have a chance."

Well that made sense, he thought, especially given he wasn't even remotely sure how to tell his family. But it seemed perhaps deeper: a lack of trust. He was probably overthinking it, but there had to be some reason Ben had never come out to his parents. "Don't feel like you have to tell anyone anything, but are you alright with your parents?"

"They didn't want me to be an actor." Ben shook his head. "My sports injuries, my dad wanted me to walk them off. But I was advised to take a break and… I found something I really love. They're glad I'm a success and all, but I've let them down once. They're already iffy about me being in a movie and 'pretending' to be gay. Religion and all. I just… hope it works out."

"It will work out. You always make it work out. Think about the sport - you turned being in a bad place into a career, or playing someone gay in a film you turned into a relationship," he didn't know what else to say, Ben always had an ability to come out on top; probably due to his intelligent and kindness "You think they'd take it badly?"

"I do think they will. But fingers crossed anyway." Ben nodded and leaned on his side gently. "Flight at 4 AM… you feel ready for it? I know you're packed, but… ready?"

"Not even vaguely, but might just nap on the plane," they were getting an early dinner and to sleep from about eight until midnight, but it was doubtful either would actually sleep. "What's the agenda after that?"

"Uh… well we get the rest of the day to recover. Then right on the morning show." Ben adjusted his shirt a little. He'd sort of stocked up on clothes that would better fit him and conceal his stomach at this point. If anything was noticeable, it would be miniscule.

"With any luck there won't be any questions about our personal lives," they'd been lucky in that they were spotted together a handful of times, but the public had speculated that they were doing scenes in the location. There had been a small story just after Ibiza, but it disappeared after a few hours. "There's not long before the madness of the press tour starts now."

"I know, that's why we've packed up." Ben smiled a little. "I'll be with you through the U.K. Then you'll… be off to the East without me." He gently rubbed his belly, feeling a few flutters. "I'll certainly miss you."

About 6 weeks in Britain, leaving Ben at six months, followed by six weeks in Japan. But he knew it was going to be excruciating to be away from Ben for that long, he took Ben's hand, "Aww, I'll not miss you - I'll have a few affairs with Joe and Rami to entertain me." He joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"You bastard," Ben replied, pecking his lips as he held his hands gently. "Mm… I'll be sending you the updates while you're gone. How many kicks they've given me, how many hours I didn't get to sleep, the latest cravings. It'll be lovely."

"I look forward to it," he mused, "seriously though, I want to know how you're feeling and what Bug's up to. Everything, I don't want to miss any of it." Gwil had already been excused from the American interviews that the other two were doing, but that was easier to cover since him and Ben didn't live there and technically the tour had finished by then- he knew there would be questions about Ben's absence though.

"We'll figure this all out," Ben assured him. "One step at a time. Let's focus on the UK circuit we're starting on. I'll just hope Bug doesn't nudge me in the bladder too relentlessly, so I can sit through an interview without running off.

"Kicking a lot then?" Gwil had felt some of the flutterings on the belly, but still just barely. As much as Ben was even now starting to get uncomfortable with the constant- if small- movement, Gwilym hoped he could feel the kicks getting stronger.

"Definitely, more and more all the time." Ben nodded and poked a few spots gently. "Not sure what set them off this time… probably need to eat again, don't you bug? That's usually what makes them fussy. Or if they don't like what they've been fed. Did you know babies taste different flavors in the womb? I just found out and now cravings make more sense."

"So Bug like Italian food then," It had been the only craving that had lasted throughout the pregnancy. "Since they can hear things too we could get them earphones that go over the bump, so they can recognise Queen."

"You think we don't listen to it enough?" Ben said, almost laughing softly, but he wasn't opposed. "Queen definitely helps. That's probably what I'll be listening to when I'm in labor honestly. It just helps keep me calm, or pumped up, whichever I need at the moment."

"Roger'll love to hear that," he didn't know for certain but he was pretty sure that he'd seen Ben making a playlist. "Have you come up with a birth plan yet? Like what you want and all."

"Not quite." Ben shook his head. "I should. But I'm considering a lot of stuff. I know I want it to be pretty natural, not going for a lot of the medication. I'm even considering doing it at home."

"That can be done if you still want it closer to the time," Gwil guessed it would be more quiet and comfortable than a hospital, and since they were in central London they'd get medical help quickly if they needed it. Not that he wanted to think about that possibility of it going wrong.

"It'd just feel really secure here," Ben mused. "And our friends could be around, supporting and all. It seems like a really nice way to do it." He could picture Roger and Brian being there too, huddled around as they made sure Ben had ice chips to suck on and that he was always breathing/had a hand to squeeze.

"Also wouldn't need to worry about having a baby on the way to the hospital." He said, looking at Ben again, "We better get some dinner and bed before this flight, love."

"Yeah, agreed." Ben got up and stretched a little. "I'll feed you first, Frankie, while we figure something out for ourselves. What were you thinking, babe?" He walked to the kitchen with Frankie, getting the food bag off the counter.

"Uh, I was gonna put in bangers and mash, it'll use up the fruit if we have some for desert too." Since they were going away they hadn't really bought much that week.

"Sounds good to me." Ben gave Frankie a few scoops, leaning on the counter after to watch. He'd let Gwil handle the dinner while he relaxed a bit, or triple checked his bags again. Just in case. He was somewhat paranoid. It was a quiet little dinner. They settled on the sofa with their fruit after, trying to get tired, but ended up getting less than a half hour of sleep between the two of them before the airport.


	19. Chapter 19

The flight wasn't very fun for Ben. Something about being in the air made the baby restless, and Ben was fairly nauseous for the duration of the ride, as well as developing a headache. He was a mess leaving the airport, just wanting to collapse into a hotel bed and sleep for a week. He settled against Gwil in the car, hiding his face against his sleeve.

Gwil had tried to help as much as he could, but there wasn't a huge amount of things he could do. As soon as they got into the hotel he let the bags get taken up by the bell boy and bought Ben some sparkling water. They settled in for a nap- since it wasn't night time. Gwil woke after a few hours, looking over to his boyfriend, Ben looked less tired than before, but not by much. He phoned up the desk to get some food delivered to the room.

"Ben, darling. We've got an interview in two hours, food’s on the way." He pressed a kiss onto Ben's cheek.

"Lovely." Ben rubbed his face, voice deep and heavy with sleep. He sat up a bit on his elbows, shaking his head to try to get his head cleared. "What did you order?" he added, carefully putting his feet over the side of the bed.

"Pastries and tea, it was too late in the day to order breakfast, but I don't think either of us can be arsed with a proper meal - given we have lunch organised for us in a few hours," he looked through his suitcase - neither had unpacked - to find something to wear. He held up two jumpers "Red or blue?"

"Blue. People will be more sympathetic for me then." Ben managed a small smile, getting up to his feet. "I'll go tidy up a bit, try not to look so ghastly. Let me know if the food arrives." He hardly felt like having food, but he knew he couldn't make it through the day without something in his stomach. He got his face washed, dressed and hair combed, rejoining Gwil in the main part of the room.

Gwil was just setting up the food as Ben walked in. "Still not feeling well?" He asked the blond, offering up a cup of tea and a croissant, he guessed it was just gonna be one of those days that wore Ben out, and he couldn't really cuddle or kiss him since they were in public.

"Not really." Ben shook his head, taking a sip of tea. "Hmm… I'm just really sore. And the jetlag's making me all kinds of uncomfortable, coupled with the baby. But a day's a day. We can get through this."

"Course we can." He wasn't sure who's benefit he said it for. 

The interviews started off talking about the film, the process they had as actors and various topics they could easily answer. 

"How do you feel playing a couple in the film?" 

"Like every other role, I guess," Gwil scratched the back of his neck, "you do what you need for the part."

"And the rumours about any off screen relationships?" The interviewer leaned forward, preparing for the big scoop, Gwil felt himself tense, if he answered they'd be discovered if he didn't it would be obvious. The interviewer continued, "Namely Ben and Joe."

Ben started softly laughing immediately. Wow, not what he expected. That was actually hilarious. Him and Joe? Not a chance. 

"I mean, I would agree, if it wasn't so one sided." Joe crossed his arms, looking at Ben and huffing softly. 

"I'm sorry Joe, really, but… gingers just aren't my type." Ben shrugged.

They laughed as Joe huffed. Gwil could see where the idea had stemmed from, since the three of them had been teasing each other on social media; Joe had been at the forefront of it all. But he could use it to dispel any stray ideas and make it seem like they were just a group of close friends (which they were, plus a baby), "Don't worry Joe, Ben's still angry about that picture we taped to his chair." Safe enough story since the internet already knew about it.

"I may forgive, but I will never forget." Ben added with a firm nod. He almost put a hand to his bump where he felt a few firm kicks, but he restrained himself, lightly scratching his stomach instead. More distracting than he thought.

Gwil tried to act neutral when Ben nearly slipped up. In a way it was lucky they were there with the whole band and could cover for each other (and Rami who had started dating Lucy- which wasn’t public information yet). The rest of the interview returned to the film, seemingly when the interviewer realised she wasn't going to find out anything interesting.

Ben was more than relieved when they were able to shake hands and walk away. He gave Gwil's hand a squeeze as they got into the car, sitting back with a sigh. 

"One down...dozens to go." Ben gently rubbed his stomach, assuring the baby that he wasn't ignoring their consistent jabbing. "Yeah, you're alright. Mummy's gonna give you some lunch now, and you'll be fine."

"Be nice to your mumma," Gwil said to the bump as he slipped his hand next to Ben's, "What does bug feel like eating today?" He could feel a gentle kick, something that still made him want to tear up a little.

"I dunno." Ben leaned on Gwil gently, closing his eyes as he felt the anxious stirs. "Maybe something… salty. And I need protein… so fast food? Burgers and chips? Maybe we can find a spot closeby."

"Cool," they drove across to a little restaurant that was made to look like an American diner- it was a step up from a fast food chain without being a fancy place; so good enough for them. "I called my parents by the by, invited them over the weekend before we leave on the press tour."

"Oh. Lovely." Ben nodded and smiled softly at him. It'd be nice for the babies to have at least one grandma and grandpa. He still had no hope for his own parents, but he'd written a long, thoughtful email and sent it off. It was a waiting game now. "I'll have to make them something they like. What'll they want to eat?"

"Dunno, it doesn't have to be anything big or classy," his family had never really been too picky about much, food and his life choices alike. Luck of being the youngest: he got away with the most, that included becoming an actor and not really knowing how to cook properly. "I wouldn't worry too much about them."

"Right. Okay." Ben would come up with something nice. He'd make a nice lunch, then some cupcakes or similar thing for dessert. It would be a nice time. Or he'd try to make it that way. "I just want them to take this as well as possible, you know?"

"They will, I promise. They've already got seven grandchildren - we're just adding to that," despite the fact he had always made the strange choices out of the four siblings (not doing rugby, acting, not being straight- not a choice but still), this would be something the others had already done. "They liked you, so they'll like Bug."

"Well that's good then." Ben let Gwil help him out and into the restaurant, staying pretty close (but not too close… paparazzi). The boys all ordered and found a table, and their meals were there before long. "Do you think they'll be surprised, though?" Ben asked through a bite. "I mean… it is somewhat rare."

"No doubt we'll both get a lecture about safe sex and probably a telling off for not knowing you're a carrier. Mum might be a bit concerned that we've not been together long. But generally I reckon they'll take it well," The fact Ben hadn't known still through him off. Not that he thought Ben was lying - that couldn't be the case from how scared he had been to tell him and that he wasn't going to gain anything from being pregnant. But everyone was tested several times in their childhood, so had something been kept from him? If his family supposed he was straight they wouldn't need to tell him.

Ben had his thoughts about it too. Maybe they wanted to make sure that he didn't get interested in the idea? His parents had to know and just hadn't said anything to him. He focused on eating for now, and pushing the worst thoughts to the back of his head. Maybe his parents would just ignore him after they read the email.

Gwil broke the silence that had fallen over them, "What about Robin?"

"What about Robin?" Ben replied, looking up at him. That was a bit… out of the blue.

"For a name, sorry I should have started with that," he took another bite out of his food, "Since we never actually decided and most of the suggestions were kinda... not us." He had liked the ones he and Ben had come up with, but everyone else was a bit far out.

"Oh." Ben swallowed his current bite and nodded. "Yeah, Robin's not bad. For a girl, right? I sort of do like Lily, though. Or maybe Evan or Luke for a boy."

"So now we know who wrote those suggestions." Joe poked his arm.

Rami laughed at Joe before turning to look at Ben and Gwil, "Lily Lee... As long as Lulu isn't a middle name it could work."

Gwil thought about it for a second "Evan works well though."

"Yes." Ben nodded and rubbed his side gently. "Or maybe… what if we called a girl Taylor?" 

"Then Roger would probably melt," Joe reasoned.

"Or you could do Gwen. Mix of your names that isn't cringy." Rami suggested.

Gwil thought about it for a moment, it was a nice name, but he wasn't sure he could deal with it being so similar to his and Ben's.

"Maybe." Ben nodded, just poking at his fries now. He was already feeling the heartburn: The baby shifted his stomach into a less than ideal position, especially as it grew, so that was just another thing on what Ben was starting to think was an endless list of ways he could hurt throughout this ordeal. "What else do we have to do today, love?"

"Just interviews. Hopefully they stay away from personal life in general." Gwil was beginning to get anxious that the press would find out before they told the news themselves.

"Brilliant." Ben leaned on one elbow, the other hand rubbing his stomach under the table. He could be subtle about it that way. The baby was fussing now, and that wasn't helping anything feel better. He could hardly wait to get back to the hotel, maybe get some sleep, some ice. It wasn't gonna be a fun day.

Gwil noticed, reaching under the table to place his hand over Ben's. He could feel the kicks settle from the outside, although he doubted they actually stopped. He was still finding it difficult to not comfort Ben when he was in pain. "Well, we've got another several hours for interviews before we can rest so best to get a wiggle on."

"Yeah, we'd better get moving then." Ben got up from the table, walking in a cluster with the others out to the car. He'd have to put on his happy face again, for the cameras' same, so he just tried to be as perky as he could once they were exiting the vehicle again. More than ever, he was relieved he wasn't going to Japan.


	20. Chapter 20

Everyone was exhausted by the end of the day. Perhaps, Gwil thought as he made his way up to the hotel room alone (Ben had gone 20 minutes earlier to not attract attention), the next day would be easier after a good night's sleep. He made his way into the room- dumping his phone next to Ben's, noticing Ben had already had food delivered. He could hear the shower in the background as he heard a notification from one of their phones. He didn't make a move to see who's phone or what it was, but it had to be a priority message, since both turned to silent mode when not working. So it was either the theater company or Ben's parents.

Ben walked out of the bathroom after a bit. The shower had helped him feel a bit more like a human being again. He scooted towards the bed, hair damp, and in his cozy clothes. 

"Welcome back, darling." He kissed Gwil's cheek, carefully sitting on the bed and taking one of the food bags to open. He'd gone for mostly veggies, of course seasoned well. It felt easier on him than more meat or carbs.

Gwil smiled- should he tell Ben? If it was just the theater company then it wouldn't matter too much, either he got the job or not. But if it was Ben's family then it could change everything, and if it was bad there was no telling how Ben would react. Fuck it, Ben was going to check his phone sooner or later, "Umm, I think one of the phones went off."

"Hm?" Ben looked up from his food and over to the phones. "Oh, uh...right." He hardly wanted to check his phone, not during dinner. If it was bad news, he'd probably not even finish dinner. Since Gwil pointed it out, though, he picked his phone up and unlocked it, checking the address. "Oh boy...here goes." Ben shook his head. "It's mum. She wants me to call."

"Are you going to?" Well it wasn't the worst response. She clearly was open to hearing some of what Ben had to say. Luckily it was an email, so she couldn't see when he'd opened the message.

"I suppose… I should, yeah." Ben sighed and set the food down, picking the phone up. He should just rip the bandage off now. He wasn't looking forward to it a bit, but he was determined not to get emotional. Ben went into his contacts and quickly made the call.

Gwil watched in tense silence as he heard the phone ring out from Ben's ear. The blond kept his face blank, but he was vibrating stress. In a way, it was like sitting outside the headmaster's office after doing something wrong, the seconds seemed longer, neither could bring themselves to make eye contact. The phone must've gone 3 or 4 rings before being unhooked from the other end.

"Hello?"

"Mum?" Ben adjusted just a bit on the bed. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to his nose. "I've just come back to the motel, settled for the night… I'm ready to talk."

"It wasn't a joke then? The email?" Her tone didn't reveal much "I've not told anyone else. You can still get rid of it, the problem can be fixed."

"Get rid of.. are you talking about the baby?" Ben sat right up. Uh, what? That wasn't happening, not even a part of an option. "No, mum, I can't. And I won't. I want them all to know the truth."

"Don't be silly, Benjamin. It's not normal for a boy to have a baby- if you want to call it that. But it's okay, you're just confused. Come home darling, we can get you to one of these quiet clinics: no one would know," She was nearly pleading, her baby boy couldn't possibly be getting involved with that nonsense. "You can keep that acting job, settle down with a nice girl and have a more appropriate family. Please, Ben. You know it's the best thing to do."

"No. You're wrong." Ben shook his head. "I'm trying, really trying to be reasonable here, but you're the one that's not even giving anyone a chance here. I've found a guy, a great guy, and we're having this kid. We plan on having more in the future. We have a house together and he loves me and I love him, and we both love this little one very much. I'm giving you this one chance to be supportive and be part of all of this."

She sighed down the phone line " Is this what you really want? This life, Benjamin, you can't come back from it. He could leave you any day and you'd be there holding a… a baby," she said it like the word 'baby' offended her, like she had wanted to say 'it" instead. "Is that how you want to live?"

"I do," Ben stated firmly. "This is what I'm choosing. I'll live with it, mum… so I guess that's goodbye then."

"I'm sorry Ben. I'm so sorry. I can't accept this, you're wasting your life," perhaps it was meant to be angry, but it didn't have the conviction. She just sounded sad. "I'll tell your father. W-we'll send across your things. Just don't... don't come back." There was a silence as Mrs Jones let go of her child. She wished she had told him from the start he was a carrier, been stricter about his career, taken him to church. She wished she could be okay with who he was. "You're my baby. I still love you, Ben. But it's not right. I want to see you happy… But not like this. Goodbye, Ben, son."

"Goodbye." Ben hung up, setting his phone aside. He sighed and looked at Gwil. "Exactly what I expected," he said flatly. "She says it's wrong and all that stuff. She's sending along my things, and I'm not welcome back."

"Oh," Gwil opened his arms to let Ben in, feeling tears wet the front of his shirt as he held him close. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. But you are right. So right, everything that's happened is right. Bug is right."

Ben was crying a bit, but he didn't say anything else. He stayed quiet, wiping away the few tears in a moment. Ben wasn't going to let this bother him so much. Ben sat up, shaking his head. 

"I'm fine. I'll get over it." He huffed softly. "We need to finish dinner and get some sleep, we've got stuff to do." He picked up his bowl again and started eating the veggies again at a moderate pace.

Gwil looked at his boyfriend. There wasn't anything to be done. Ben was trying to be strong and it was best to give him space mentally to work through things. Dinner was quiet, they barely spoke as they got ready for bed, he held Ben in his arms that night (they usually fell asleep that way, shifting in the night) "’Night love."

" 'Night, Gwil." Ben fell asleep shortly. He was thinking about a lot, but he was also much too tired. He had to prioritize the baby's health, and his own attached to that. He would be just fine. Fine...

Gwil woke up at five. After trying to get back to sleep for a while he accepted it wasn't going to happen, he looked over at Ben, sleeping calmly next to him, rings around his eyes despite the rest. He decided to do something, a romantic gesture. There were a few shops close by and he had an idea brewing, not to mention it was too early for anyone to spot him. He left Ben with a kiss on the cheek - he was unlikely to wake up soon.

Ben was going to sleep fine. He was exhausted in every sense of the word. Physically. Emotionally. Ben definitely wouldn't stir that early, cuddling a pillow in his arms.

When Gwil got back to the room, Ben had hardly moved. The Welshman set about wrapping the gifts on the floor, just so if Ben did sit up he'd not see them immediately. He'd bought a dog jumper for Frankie, the kind that's attached to a leash. On it was written 'number 1. Big brother'- it was cheesy but he hoped it would make his boyfriend smile. Next he had found the bump headphone. Finally he had got something for Ben, something that would hopefully let him feel like he wasn't just a pregnancy. 

It was one of those pendants, with a leather cord and a lion's nose silver hanging decoration. It wasn't exactly like the tattoo, but it wasn't far off, on the reverse side there was an inscription 'I'll love you to infinity and beyond'.

Yeah, it was kinda naff, but it had been one of the first films they watched, one they kept going back to. And it was true, he did love Ben until the end of all days. He left the bundle wrapped in a blue ribbon next to Ben's head, leaving to see the schedule and get breakfast from the shop nearby.

Ben woke up while he was gone this time. He yawned softly, rubbing his eyes...and noticed the little wrap up. Ben sat up, curious, and unfolded the ribbon carefully. Picking up the shirt, he couldn't help giggling. He'd never dressed Frankie up. This would be interesting, perfect for the first meeting with the baby. Then the bump headphones. Ben wasn't sure where he'd have got them that early in the morning, but he'd certainly use them. When he eyes fell on the pendant he paused, gasping softly and picking them up. Oh goodness...he was going to start crying. He looked the pendant over, flipping it over and reading the inscription. Oh Gwil. Only he'd have thought of that.

Gwil stayed by the door, he'd caught the last minute of the present reveal. Ben looked like he was about to start getting emotional: so either it had gone really bad or really good. He walked in, relieved when he saw Ben smiling. "Hey..."

"How've you managed all this?" Ben asked, looking up from the silver shape in his palm. "It's amazing, babe, all this stuff, you...how?"

"Uh, Frankie's was from the pet shop, the headphones are from Currys and the necklace is a secret," more like one of those artisan jewellers that inscribed things there and then. Since they were in a city he'd only had to drive for half an hour to find a high Street that served the purpose.

"You're a wonder, darling." Ben gave Gwil a hug soon as he was in reach, giving him a little kiss on the lips as well. "I don't know how you've managed it, but you really cheered me up."

"I'm glad to hear it, it kills me when you're sad," he pulled away, letting Ben lean forward so that he could tie the pendant round his neck. It was loose enough he didn't need to untie it to take it off "Anyways: you've done such a good job looking after bug and being a great mama, all while doing some award winning work and being the best partner anyone could ask for. You deserve a little treat."

"It's perfect, dear." Ben rubbed the silver medal gently. "And the quote. How appropriate for us." He chuckled softly. "We'll have to call the baby Buzz then, won't we?"

"Damnit, I was gonna say Mr potato head," he put a hand up to the bump, which was very visible through the pyjamas. "I never imagined being here in my life, but it's the happiest I've ever been.

"Me too, darling." Ben nodded and gently rubbed his side, feeling a few little stirrings. "They've noticed we've gotten excited, it's exciting them too," he added. "Yes, you're what all the fuss is about, little one, We can hardly wait to see you."

"Now, now, Baby-bug- don't kick your mother like that," he didn't think he'd actually be able to tell off their child when they grew up enough to misbehave. One look at their eyes, which would probably be green just like Ben's, and he'd let that kid get away with murder. "I can't wait until we can take them with us around the world, or just sit at home with them. Watch them grow and become an adult and everything."

"Agreed." Ben nodded and sat back a bit. "Hm. Do you think they'll… think we're cool? I mean, being international celebrities, Brian May and Roger Taylor are basically their grandparents and all."

"Of course they'll think so. Until they get to about thirteen and pretend they don't know us in public," Gwil grinned at his love, "Trust me, they'll have the best family, rock star gramps, movie star uncles and auntie, a fuck tonne of welsh lunatics. Us."

Ben laughed softly and nodded. He imagined it wouldn't be such a bad way to grow up, for this one or future siblings. "Yes. I think we've set ourselves up quite well, really.”

"We've got it all, perfect family, our own house, stable jobs. We can even set up a swing set in the garden with a little tree house so Bug can play with all the Bug sequels we have." Probably shouldn't refer to his future children as sequels, but oh well.

Ben thought it was quite precious anyways. Sequels. Seemed appropriate. "I can hardly wait, dear," he said softly, kissing him again before pulling away, "Now let's have breakfast before Bug really does get riled up." 

***

Ben got a burst of positivity from it all. He got through the rest of the mini tour, not always happy, but a lot better,and never without his charm on. He was putting together lunch for his almost in-laws before he knew it.

"They'll be here in five," Gwil looked up from his phone and looked as Ben finished off putting the things on the table, "How should we tell them?" they had to say something now, Ben was obviously pregnant and they weren't sure that even the baggy clothing he had on today (a sweater that belonged to Gwil) would hide it.

"Maybe we should be straightforward." Ben rubbed his side where the baby was nervously fluttering. "Tell then we invited them over to tell then some news and...well, tell them the news."

"Yes, I suppose that's best," he couldn't help but be nervous- even when he was trying to be strong for Ben's sake. They waited, fixing all the little details in the dining room and making sure everything was ready beyond what was necessary. Then the doorbell rang.

"Here goes nothing." Ben straightened himself a bit before going to the door. He opened it and smiled. "Wonderful to see you both again. Welcome to the new place." He stood back and opened the door further, keeping Frankie from sniffing by holding her gently back with one foot.

Gwil greeted his mother with a hug, welcoming them both into the house, they had a look around since they had never visited before. "Just before we get to lunch, we've umm... got something to tell you."

"Yes. It's… something really important to us. We've dedicated an entire room of the house to it in fact." Ben stayed close to Gwil, taking one of his hands. "We… well I'm… pregnant."

Gwil looked at their faces, but stuck close to Ben. There was an awkward silence for about 20 seconds as they just looked between the pair and then to the bump "If this is what you want, Gwil." His mum said at last.

Ben bit his lip a little bit, nodding and keeping a hand on his stomach. That was...acceptance at least. A start. He felt it was what Gwil wanted, what they both wanted, but he wouldn't speak for his boyfriend. He just gently clung to his side for now.

"Yes. It's exactly what I want. Exactly what I needed too." His mum seemed happier at that. His dad looked slightly angry, but there was something else in his expression that Gwil couldn't quite read. He decided to break the ice a little "Why don't we settle down for some lunch and we can talk about this a little more there, yeah?"

"Of course." Ben perked up a little and put on a smile that didn't seem too forced. "Make yourselves at home, I'll have it right out."

Ben let Gwil settle his parents in a bit, while he made sure everything was properly on trays and plates. He'd gone with a roast, side of mashed potatoes with some steamed carrots and other veggies, as well as some warm bread. For dessert, he had an apple crumble, that he was keeping warm and gooey in the oven.

In the end they did get a lecture on family planning. That they should've thought it through properly. Gwil didn't mention that if they had known Ben was a carrier they would have been more careful. His mum prattled on about responsibility and everything. But he could tell she was warming up to the idea- she could see Ben was looking after him and after seeing the nursery she could see it wasn't unorganised. His dad didn't say anything throughout though, which was worrying.

Ben was a little nervous about the whole thing. It wasn't like he'd been so greatly accepted the first time. This time just made him feel like he was going to be even more of an awkward spot at any family get together. No matter how close he was to Gwil, he still felt like an outsider. Ben kept himself busy with the food. He added vanilla ice cream to the side of the crumble, and even he was happy with himself for being a good housewife in that regard.

The meal helped to calm the atmosphere, Gwil's mum complimenting Ben on the good job he'd done with it felt like an outstretched hand, not quite an acceptance, but close enough. Lunch ended and they left, his mum promised to visit after Gwil got back from Japan, but his dad just gave him a withering look. Was he disappointed? 

"At least that's over." he said when they were finally alone.

"Yes. We've done all we can do." Ben leaned against Gwil, closing his eyes. He didn't feel all that well, a bit stressed still, but calming down a little because the others had gone. It was just...a lot. "We should get some rest. You've only got one more day before you have to go.”

"Films and a cuddle?" Going back to bed, even if he wasn't tired, felt like the best plan for the day. "That could've gone better, but I think they'll come round to it. Maybe after Bug's born."

"The idea of a bloke being pregnant probably doesn't make things easier for them," Ben mused, standing up carefully (he needed to change into something more comfortable). "Maybe it'll work out later like you said. They'll get to hold the little one and… maybe it'll feel more normal."

"I hope you're right. I think it will be like that with mum at least," he wasn't so sure about his dad, but he was letting it go for now, "Let's just relax before I go."

"Agreed." Ben went to the stairs, carefully walking up. He was never so careful about always holding on till he had become pregnant. He was much more careful once he was aware of the little one, and he did need the steadying sometimes. Ben changed into his softer clothes, washing his face. He wasn't concealing anything now, bump clearly showing through the grey cotton t-shirt. 

Ben came back down to Gwilym, sitting on the sofa again and shyly holding out a pair of fuzzy socks. "Can you help me get these on?” he asked timidly. "I can hardly even reach my toes now."

Gwil laughed a bit, not trying to be nasty. In fact he genuinely enjoyed helping Ben when he could- since he was doing all the work, Gwil felt it was his duty to lend a hand. He kneeled opposite the sofa and helped Ben up them on. "I can't wait to see the bump when it's all big."

"I'll have probably had a significant growth spurt between the time you leave and come back," Ben mused. "It'll be interesting for you. I just don't know how to function without you when I can't even put socks on.”

"I feel so bad I'm leaving. I'm gonna miss so much," there was no getting out of it, but that still didn't stop him feeling guilty for traveling around Japan while his boyfriend was stuck at home pregnant. They'd added a short American leg of interviews he'd declined. But he could get away with that since he didn't live there. Japan was different, they were all guests so there wasn't an excuse. "You're the strongest person I've ever met, of course you'll manage. And you'll have Roger and Brian too."

"Of course." Ben smiled and nodded. "They've been texting lately. Brian even signs his texts with -Bri, have you noticed? Like, it couldn't be anyone but him, yet there it is anyways." It was cute, in the old man way.

"He does it to everyone apparently. Even Roger. They've been together for what? 40 years? or more. And he still has to make sure people know its him texting." he knew texting hadn't been around when they got together, but it had been long enough that no one did that anymore. Which made it kind of amusing.

"Maybe he just does it to get on his nerves now," Ben chuckled softly. "It's all quite amusing, though. And I love the old poodle to death, Rog does too. I can't imagine them ever having separated to be perfectly honest. They're just...a match made in Heaven, you know? It's perfect, what they've got. I hope...we can turn out that way as well.”

"It will. I can see it, we'll be together forever." he wanted to be that old couple that no one knew how old they were. To grow old surrounded by kids and grandkids and Ben be by his side for the rest of his life. "I meant it. Infinity and beyond, Ben."

Ben held his hands gently, nodding and smiling just a bit. He was hanging in there, doing alright, tired as he was right now. And no one could make him happier than Gwilym either. Gwilym and their little one. 

"Did you pick out a film to watch?" he asked him, rubbing his knuckles gently with his thumb.

"Brave, then I got tangled and Incredibles 2 for after. Thought we should go through the newer ones for a change," since they put their film collections together it's been borderline worrying how many kids films they have. They snuggled in for the films, Gwil grabbed a bunch of blankets and pillows and made a sort of fort on the sofa.

"Sounds perfect, dear." Ben agreed. He'd considered going to get a snack, but cuddles were enough now. If he got hungry later, he'd say something. For now, he was ready to just cuddle and watch the shows with Gwil. It'd be their last night to do it- Gwil was leaving for a nine pm flight after an early dinner together the next day.


	21. Chapter 21

The next morning was difficult. Gwil knew he had to get a move on but he was reluctant to move. He'd just about finished packing - he was taking quite a bit with him since he was gone for so long and it was wintertime. "I think I'm all done now - everything's packed, documents are in my coat."

"And I made sure to stick you scarf and hat in there as well." Ben kissed his cheek softly, slipping his arms around him. His bump rested gently against Gwil's lower back. "Don't want my love going over there just to get sick. I'll need you to be healthy, so will all the boys.

Gwilym hugged the arms around him back, then turned to be chest to chest with Ben. They were close enough that he could feel the kicks against him. He let his face fall into Ben's hair, inhaling the unidentifiable scent. He could feel the stubble on his chin, "I should probably go shave before dinner."

"No, but I like your stubble," Ben mused. "I do fancy you in your beard, I think it's quite handsome, love. But shave if you must. Public and all."

"I can keep it. If you like it, I'll keep the beard for the tour," there wasn't any reason to look any particular way - they weren't filming and the styling was minimal for interviews.

"Yes, please." Ben smiled and looked up at him, caressing his cheek sweetly. "Thank you, love. I appreciate it greatly. Now then, best make sure dinner is ready." He pecked his lips and headed downstairs to get everything set up.

"Dinner smells fantastic; you really know how to treat me well," he pressed a kiss into Ben's temple before they sat down and started eating. "So this might sound really stupid, but I, well... I didn't want bug to forget what their daddy's voice sounded like since they're not gonna hear it for a while. I put some stories onto my laptop... They should work with the headphones."

"That's so sweet of you." Ben smiled softly at that. "We'll listen to them all the time. I bet they'll be the only thing that'll calm this little one down sometimes. They'll miss you just as much as I will, dear. And besides, we'll be giving them an early love and appreciation for literature."

"I hope so," he wasn't gonna press anything into reality, that is to say that if their children didn't give a rat's arse about Shakespeare or theatre he wasn't gonna make them like it. But he doubted anyone could grow up with acting in their family and not like reading.

"It stimulates their minds as well," Ben added. "Speaking to babies, especially in full sentences, stimulates their minds. It helps them develop. That's why we'll be making sure we talk, read and sing every day. I've been reading up on their brain functions.

Gwil nodded, he couldn't wait for everything to be over so he could stay at home and look after his little family. The meal ended, he grabbed everything he needed and loaded his things into the car (Brian had agreed to drive it back from the airport the next day). 

"I guess this is it. I'll phone from the airport," it was going to be a long flight, 6 hours to Thailand where they would wait for 3, then another 5 hours to Japan. With the check ins and the time zones and everything he would essentially lose the next day and half of the following one.

"Yes. I'll be looking forward to it." Ben walked him out to the car, hand in hand. He didn't want to let go, but he knew what he had to do. He went to Gwil's side, kissing his cheek. "I'll miss you quite a lot. We both will. And we'll never stop thinking about you. But have fun while you're there, for us."

Gwil hugged him close. Fuck these next few weeks were going to be difficult. "I'll try. Please send pictures of the bump, and keep me updated. I'll call every day, I love you." He loathed to break the embrace- but he had to go or he'd miss the flight.

"I love you too. Always." Ben let him go, standing and watching the car drive away. For a moment, every worse case scenario went through his mind. The plane could go down. The car could crash. He could be attacked. He could never come back. Ben just shook his head. He walked back inside. Might as well focus now. He was gonna be okay. Just breathe. One moment at a time.

***

The flights were boring - he was by himself on them since the others were flying from the states. He phoned Ben when he could, tried to read his book, watch a film, sleep. But nothing worked- he just ended up thinking back to Ben, all alone in a big house except for a dog and an unborn child.

In the interviews themselves- once they had all met up and got over the jet lag- they were just asked about the film and characters. Luckily they were less personal over there, unluckily they had a tendency to end their stint at a particular location, such as the first two weeks in Tokyo, with a party.

Gwil had tried to avoid going - he wasn't really wanting to get drunk: he had responsibilities now. He wasn’t a teenager that could get away with turning up the next day hungover. Sadly Joe had other plans for him- which is why he found himself at half three in the morning shit faced in some club with Joe, Rami and a cut out that had been Ben’s substitute for the tour.

Ben spent his days tucked away at home. He hardly left the house, only to go shopping when he needed things, food or household supplies. It wouldn't be too many trips at least, and he just drove Gwil's car. Honestly, he missed Gwil a lot. He slept holding Gwil's pillow. He wore Gwilym's sweaters. He listened to the stories on record with the baby all the time and fuck, he was even watching Gwilym Lee compilations online, along with any interview that came out. 

Fan edits, Ben was watching damn fan edits of his own… basically husband without the label.

Gwil somehow managed to leave the party in one piece, stumbling into the hotel room. He really hadn't meant to get drunk- but none of them knew what they were ordering or the alcohol content of the drinks. He pulled his phone out - he hadn't called Ben, had he? He couldn't work out the time difference, but if it was dark there, then it must be light in London, no? He put the phone up to his ear, hearing it ring (maybe it was just his head ringing) as he lay back on the bed.

Ben shifted a little in bed. It wasn't too ungodly, he was just laying down. He picked the phone up, smiling a little. "Hello, love," he cooed. "How's everything going today? Not too well? You're up incredibly late… or early."

"You... I love you, Ben. B-babe," he giggled a little, Ben's name sounded similar to 'babe'. Which was funny, to him anyway. "You know Joey brought paper you and I'm missing you... s-s-should I get paper bug?" he slurred.

"Oh God… Gwil, what did you do?" Ben rubbed his face. This wasn't happening. He went and got drunk? What the actual hell? "Where are you? At the hotel? You need to lay down, love."

"'M at the hotel. Joes-s wanted to go to... Some thing. But we had to guess what the drinks were," he laughed again, rambling on a little. "You know you're the only and one. Beyond affinity. I was gonna ask you and you'd cry... and be a Lee and... live happily ever after." His words clung to each other, not really sure where he was taking it himself.

"Love, please. Get some sleep." Ben desperately wished someone else around him was sober. It sounded like Joe and Rami were probably trollied as well. "Just… for your own good. Let's breathe. Just close your eyes. Sleep.”

"But I love Ben so muuuch, ya know?" He couldn't really remember who he was talking to at this point, he was sprawled on the bed still fully clothed, "He's got my baby and I love them both more than they will ever know."

"And we love you too, but please… we're going to sleep too." Ben was rubbing his head a bit by now. It was starting to ache. He didn't know how else to handle this situation.

"M’kay." He put his phone on the floor next to the bed, singing to himself softly as he managed to knock over the things on his table. He heard the phone hang up as he fell asleep, lights still on and everything.

Ben set the phone aside too. Part of him wondered if Gwil would even remember any of that when he woke up. No matter. At least he was in the damn hotel room, in bed (or on a sofa or something… even the floor.). At least he wasn't doing anything more stupid. He already would have the hangover to deal with. "Well, no more naps for us." Ben got up. "I know you're hungry, Bug, I am too. Let's fix something up then."

***

Gwil stumbled upright the next morning. Well midday. After a few hours feeling both sick and sorry for himself he managed to get some semblance of ready. His phone was dead so he wasn't going to go far, but he did have a plan for today. 

First on the agenda was yell at Joe for having a terrible idea (which he ended up not doing after finding Joe throwing up in his own hotel bathroom). 

Second was to go to the jewelry shop. He hadn't planned to do it hungover, but he had planned it. Gwil found a ring, a plain band with two stones either side of a bigger one. Ben would like it, wouldn't he? It wasn't too flashy or too plain.

That left the problem of when he should give it to him - assuming he'd say yes at all. He was missing his own birthday since he was away, and Christmas and New year's seemed a bit cliché. He could do Ben's birthday or Valentine's, he supposed. Best to talk to Joe or Rami about it, see when they suggested.

When Joe was more coherent he could talk, laying on the sofa with a heating pad on his stomach. He was impressed with the ring, nodding and smiling along. "That's perfect, Gwil," he said softly. "Ben's gonna love it. Hm… when to ask, though..." He thought for a minute, wincing when it made his head hurt. "Well… birthdays are an interesting idea, and Valentine's Day is really cliche… but I'm gonna suggest that maybe you wait. Make it a separate thing. It'll be another thing for you to celebrate, another little anniversary."

"I guess I could do it after Bug is born," he didn't see any reason to get married before - they weren't particularly traditional and they had done plenty of things in their relationship in the wrong order. "Before the premier though."

"Yes. Oh… what if you had the baby help you?" Joe sat up a little. "You could tie the ring on a little ribbon around the baby's wrist. And put them in a onesie that says 'Will you marry my daddy?'"

Gwil smiled brightly "That could really work, nice one Joe. I'll have it sent over to Lucy's house so Ben doesn't accidentally find it. I could dress Bug before Ben gets up so he finds out in the nursery." That meant he could sneak in and see his reaction, the carpet would muff the sound of footsteps.

"Sounds like a plan." Joe closed his eyes. "It might be painful, but my brain is working. Always a good sign."

"When did you even get back?" He had left first - well before the others, he didn't really remember when he got to the hotel or how his phone ended up on the floor. He should probably get back to his phone and call Ben, they hadn't spoken for a while since he missed last night's call.

“Oh God, I don't know… I sort of blacked out and woke up in the bathroom." Joe shook his head. "No idea how I even got in there… I hope nothing really really stupid was on camera."

"Rami may have summat on his phone, but the club was only for the folk involved, and seemed pretty secure to me." He got up to go, saying his 'see you laters' to Joe before going back to his own room, his phone was fully charged and had a few missed calls.

Ben had been fairly worried. He'd called twice, then just left him a voice message.

"Darling? Um… I know you probably don't feel so great when you hear this. You happened to call last night when you were… well, wasted, and you didn't say anything incriminating, I promise, but… well, don't forget to take your medication for that headache and I look forward to hearing from my sobered up Gwil in the near future. Me and Bug miss you so much. Can't wait to give you a hug and a kiss in person.”

He didn't remember calling. He didn't remember much to be honest. But Ben didn't sound angry, even if he had probably been woken up by the call. He called again, it would be just after dinner time back home so Ben was likely awake.

Ben had been watching another episode of Midsomer Murders. He paused it, picking the phone up. "Hello?"

"I am so sorry. Ben, I didn't know I'd called," he apologised, feeling his head pounding from being so dumb.

"No, love, don't feel sorry." Ben chuckled softly. "You haven't had a drink in ages thanks to me. You're in Japan with your friends. You should have a good time, live a little and have some fun before you're stuck with a baby in your arms.”

"You make that sound like such a bad thing. But honestly I can't wait until I get to wake up every morning next to you with our little baby crying for their mummy and daddy." It sounded silly to say it, but he looked forward to the sleepless nights and nappy changes and everything else that would make him a dad.

"You're a sweetheart." Ben smiled softly and looked down. "Speaking of babies, I think they know we're on the phone. They've started to get all stirry again."

"Aww, Bug likes the sound of their papa's voice?" He wasn't convinced that the baby could hear anything from where the phone was, but he let it go: it was a nice idea so why ruin it with fact. "Rwyf wrth fy modd i chi, fy mhlentyn"

"There you go. Speaking in tongues again." Ben chuckled softly but put the phone on speaker and held it by his bump. "Yes, darling, papa's there. He misses you so much."

"I miss both of you, just another five weeks though," he got back just before Christmas. "Just think, this time last year we were ignoring each other while crushing hard on set, this time next year we'll be parents, Bug'll be nearly walking and talking."

"Oh God, don't make them grow up so fast." Ben shook his head, patting his belly softly. "I want to hold them all swaddled up in blankets for ages and ages while all they can do is coo and smile back at me."

Gwil understood that, he didn't want his tiny darling to grow up, to leave for school for hours and have crushes and relationships and leave home to have their own life and family. Actually he couldn't bear the thought of bug growing up. "I know what you mean, love."

"Let's take it a step at a time." Ben sat back a bit, taking a few deep breaths. "Mmhmm… yeah, they're getting a bit wily. I better get some food or my ribs will never feel the end of it."

"Okay, I'll let you get on with your day," Was that the midsommers outro playing in the background of the call? He wasn't sure, but he wasn't going to judge if it was: wasn't like he went back to EastEnders, a program he'd previously not cared about, and watched all the Peter Beale episodes. "Keep well."

"I will. You too, love." Ben gave him a little kiss over the phone and hung up. He sat back after that, continuing to snack on his green grapes and cheese crackers (the latest craving). He was counting the minutes till Gwil's return. But he had Sergeant Charlie Nelson in the meantime.

***

The next few stops on the tour were the same, wake up, answer questions, get food, interview, have dinner, call Ben, go to sleep. Some days it would get spiced up with a press conference or photo shoot. They addressed Ben's absence by bluffing that he was working on another project and managed to distract people with Cardboard Ben, which although funny, did make Gwil miss Ben more than anything. Ben had sent across pictures of the bump, but he still felt guilty he was missing out on so much.

Ben missed him too. He just kept sending stuff along and making phone calls. He visited with Roget a few times, and he also had a doctor's appointment, where it was confirmed that things were progressing as they should be. Ben had skyped Gwil into the meeting, letting him see the scan and hear the heartbeat

Gwil had loved being able to see the appointments despite being in Japan. He'd have preferred to be there in person, but that couldn't be helped. The rest of the tour went quickly, he had a small birthday celebration, then they were counting down to Christmas. That's when the stroke of luck happened; a mixture of cancelled interviews, timetable changes and an earlier flight meant he could get home on Thursday morning rather than Sunday night. Gwil didn't tell Ben, he wanted it to be a surprise. There wasn't any way to cover the fact that there was going to be radio silence from his side, but Ben would hopefully just assume he was working.

Ben might've been a little confused and concerned. He'd have thought he would have heard from Gwil by then but… well he had to be okay. He just had to be. It couldn't be his nightmare come true, he'd be seeing it on the news, online, tweets and phone calls. It sort of kept him up all night, so that when morning came, he was on the sofa, nervously rubbing his stomach and just crossing his fingers that he'd hear from Gwil that night.

It was just after lunch on Friday when Brian dropped him off at his house. Originally he'd guessed much earlier that morning, but the London traffic had set him back nearly four hours. He wheeled his cases in, quietly unlocking the door and letting himself in. He dumped his things just inside the door, opting to venture further into the house, reaching the living room he could hear the telly on: Hollow Crown.

He peered through the door, Ben was sleeping on the sofa. He looked beautiful, hands splayed over the belly that seemed larger than in the pictures, Frankie nestled into his side. He looked so boyish in his sleep. Gwil made his way over, practically tip toeing as he knelt by the couch next to Ben's head.

He leaned down and kissed his cheek, "Hey baby."

Ben stirred a little bit. Oh dear… he wasn't having another dream was he? Yes. He'd been dreaming of Gwilym, he couldn't help himself. He was too in love, and Gwilym was all he thought about. But it felt so real. Ben dared open his eyes… Gwil was still there. It couldn't be real. He reached up, gently touching Gwil's cheek. Felt real too. Then a sharp jab from the baby, that definitely would've woken him, assured him that Gwilym was really home. 

"Oh… Gwil..." Ben sat up, immediately hugging him as tight as he could. He pressed his face to Gwil's shoulder, unable to stop the tears.

"I'm here, Ben." He hugged back, matching the strength of the embrace. He held one hand close into the bump, feeling the baby kicking like mad against his own torso and hand. God knows how Ben was feeling it. His other hand instinctively tangled into Ben's hair, which was now just long enough to catch slightly on his beard. He hummed against him, not willing to pull away anytime soon. "You wouldn't believe how much I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, darling. So so so much." Ben clung to him, eyes closed and still crying softly. "I never want you to leave me again, not like this. I need you. I love you so much. I need you. We need you."

"I'm not leaving, Ben, I promise. I don't think I could take being away from you ever again," he pulled away just enough so he could sit down on the sofa rather than crouch on the floor. Gwil pulled Ben onto his lap, he could feel the difference in weight, not in a bad way, but Bug had grown so much since he'd last been there, just past the 30 week mark now. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there, I missed so much. You had to do so much on your own."

"I missed you too. But we're going to be alright." Ben smiled and rubbed his belly gently. "Bug has missed you too. They've done nothing but grow, eat and listen to papa's lovely stories on tape”

"I'm glad," he was pleased Ben had used the tapes, even if it was a little silly, but he knew that Bug would start to recognise which voices belonged to Ben and himself, and if he wasn't there he was happy bug would still know his voice. "Now how about we get some tea?"

"Yes, that sounds lovely." Ben smiled and nodded, kissing his cheeks. "Can you grab me the biscuits from the cabinet as well. The sandwich cookies.”

Gwil reached up and got what had been asked, he waited until the kettle was on to take the bags from the front door and into the bedroom. As he turned back down the hallway, he couldn't help but peek in at the nursery.

It wasn't plain and half decorated any more. The white walls now had pictures and paintings if cartoon characters hanging on them. There was now a rocking chair on top of a colourful rug, and cabinets that on closer inspection already had clothes and blankets in some of them. He stood there in awe, there wasn't a crib yet - though the cardboard box in the corner implied there would be soon.

Ben nibbled the biscuits happily in the meantime. It had just been put together, with him working on it day by day. It was something he was quite proud of. Ben loved their nursery, and he couldn't wait to spend long hours there with his baby. He wanted to rock by the window and tell them stories, sing them songs and play with toys on the rug. Honestly, every little milestone is what drove him through the… it was basically torture every day… of being pregnant.

Gwil eventually left and went to the kitchen, Ben was just finishing up making the teas at the counter top. Gwil came up behind him, pulling him close to his chest so he could rest his chin on the top of Ben's head and wrapped his arms around the expanded waist. "Love what you've done with the nursery, my love."

Ben smiled softly. The feeling was something he'd missed, touches as subtle as this. "Thanks. Rog and Bri helped, but I had the ideas myself.”

That explained it. Not that any of the furniture was heavy, but Gwil felt it was nice to know he hadn't been lugging it around by himself. 

"I'll start on the crib soon as," he didn't feel like doing it right that minute, and he knew he'd start feeling the jet lag soon, but he hoped over the next few days to make a start in his contribution, "Probably should get the Christmas decorations out, get a chance to see what family traditions we continue and which ones we make for future generations."

"Oh yeah." He nodded and smiled. "Are we getting a real tree and all? I've had artificial ones in my apartment, just for the sake of the mess, but I'm not opposed to a real pine. We could go down to a farm and pick one up."

"Can do," he could remember a few of the later family Christmases having real trees- it always seemed more special. "We can have a little family dinner, just the two of us: a few crackers and a plate of pigs in blankets."

"Sounds delicious." Ben nodded and gently rubbed his belly. He could definitely picture that. "But you're forgetting Frankie when you say 'two'. He'll need a nice dinner too.'

"I'd assumed Frankie would have done away with the roast by then," the little dog was still asleep on the sofa, hadn't really moved except to snuggle into the warmer patch Ben had been lying on. "Technically I should have said four, no doubting bug will make their presence known."

"Oh, certainly." It was impossible to forget that he was pregnant by now. If the baby wasn't moving, he could always feel the weight and the pressure here and there. "It'll be cozy, though. And Frankie will be around, just nosing at us for treats."

Gwil reached across to take Ben's hand, gently rubbing his knuckles. "Our first proper little family Christmas."

They spent the rest of the day talking about the ideas they had and unpacking Gwil’s things: he was quick to stow away the ring before that was found unexpectedly. They went to bed pretty early, for once Gwil being the one starting to doze off, but Ben wasn't far behind.


	22. Chapter 22

They got their tree up in the next few days, and spent an evening decorating it. Ben left most of the reaching to Gwil, sticking with whatever he could comfortably do from his height. He was quite happy with it when it was put together. He could just imagine Christmas morning as he carefully tucked his few presents beneath it the evening before.

Gwil woke up on Christmas morning to Frankie licking his face, Ben was sitting up in bed next to him. 

"Merry christmas, darling."

"Merry Christmas, babe." Ben leaned over and gave him a little kiss, tugging Frankie away. "Alright, give papa a break. You've got presents too, you know "

"We doing presents before or after breakfast?" he sat up, putting a hand on the bump as Frankie ran out the room again. He felt a light kick in return, like Bug was saying good morning too.

"Let’s do them now, most traditional and all." Ben kissed his cheek. "I’ll get making some hot chocolate and we can settle down by the tree.

Gwil got up, lending Ben a hand to get out of bed. The bump wasn't so big that he was struggling, but big enough that Gwil gave him a gentle pull to get him standing. They made their way to the kitchen, then took the steaming cups out to the living room. 

"You first, love." Gwil handed across the gift, For Ben he'd got a few new records- the rarer ones that he knew Ben would like. There was also a big Bournemouth FC hoodie. It might not fit him well during the later weeks of the pregnancy, but Gwil thought it might come in handy after the birth, since he'd still have a bit of a bump but it would be decreasing daily.

"You know me so well," Ben mused, hugging the jumper lightly. "I'm gonna have you wear this first, though. I want it to smell like you when we get to wearing it. Alright… let's see what we got for you." Ben handed him a few boxes. He'd picked out a few smart shirts, as well as a very nice watch that had his last name engraved on the back. He then handed him a book with 'Memories' written on the front. 

"It's a collection of memories… since we found out about the baby." Ben smiled softly. "Little entries I've written, photos, sonograms… everything. We'll keep adding to it till the birth. Then I'm starting a new album."

Gwil flicked through the book, it was about halfway full, he could see the labels and little notes Ben had handwritten in, so full of love for a little Bug that as he turned the pages grow bigger. There were photos of the nursery, the bump at various stages, and a few silly ones at the end. He turned to the last page, expecting it to be empty, which it was, but on the end page he saw a photo had been taped in. 

It was from just before he'd left for the tour, they were at Brian and Roger's house one night and Joe had taken the picture. You couldn't really make out it was them, just two silhouettes against the sunset from a window, the taller one had his hands on the bump, kissing the shorter one who had his arms around the former's neck. At the bottom it was captioned 'Baby Lee, we love you.'

"We can add a picture or two from today," Ben added. "I've already written an entry for the night you came home, and then I'll put something in about today… darling, it's been such a journey so far. I want to be able to hold onto these pages... and these memories, forever."

"I'm happy, we'll be able to look back years from now and remember. Years from now in a retirement home we'll crack open the family albums and see exactly what we did, how we lived. We just have to do the living now." He hugged Ben close into his side, kissing him and bringing his other hand to Ben's cheek.

Ben kissed him back, one hand in his waist and knew hand on Gwil's. He'd never been more in love. This was a dream come true. He pulled away, smiling at the kicks and the little nudges from Frankie. "One happy family."

"Our happy family." Gwil corrected. He really could see himself, five years from now: watching as Bug unwrapped a sleigh begging to go play in the snow, a toddler on Ben's hip too, gurgling away from under some tinsel. He could not imagine a better family.

"Roger and Brian are coming over for New Year's," Ben noted. "I'm making brunch." He wanted to see them again, and vice versa. They decided it would be a good meet up.

"That's summat to look forward to," it had been a while since he'd seen anyone other than Ben, Rami and Joe. "Are you planning much for your birthday?" Given its the day after hogmanay.

Ben shook his head. "I want to keep it low key. Just resting, food, all that sort of stuff. Having you here to cuddle me and give me massages is a good enough gift."

"Well I certainly can do that." 

Gwil got up and went to the kitchen, putting the roast in the oven so that it would slow cook. They hadn't bought a huge amount, but enough so they could eat the leftovers on boxing day too. "Any ideas for what to do while this cooks?" Every other Christmas he used to go for a walk in the meanwhile, but he didn't like the idea of making a pregnant Ben trudge through the snow and cold.

"Hmm… we could watch some movies," Ben suggested. "Just check off some classic Christmas ones, you know? I haven't watched some of them yet this year. The Santa Clause, Home Alone, A Christmas Story. Those types. I'm in the mood for mindless."

"We could put on the polar express," he tried to remember what was on the telly anyway, "There's probably popcorn somewhere."

"Yeah, that's a good place to start." Ben set up the TV, finding the show on a streaming service. He put his feet up pulling over a blanket and getting himself cozy. He was already in a Christmas sweater and sweatpants, with soft socks and slippers. Frankie had hopped up to cuddle his side as well, wanting a part of the warmth and softness. "We're ready when you are, babe.”

Gwil grabbed the large bowl to put the popcorn in then made his way to the living room. He switched off the big light so that the fairy lights on the tree were illuminating the room. "Budge up, Frankie." He shifted the dog so he could put an arm comfortably around his family.

Ben leaned in him. He watched the lights flicker, and the show a bit. Mostly, he was focused on the cuddles. It was odd. This was a relationship that Ben totally didn't know he needed, b if absolutely had and never wanted to lose.

Gwil didn't say anything else for the duration of the films. At one point he went to get more blankets and pillows from the bedroom, taking a peek at where he'd stashed the ring. It wasn't what he'd thought he'd be doing, marriage was so far from his plans growing up, even when they let gay marriage be legal: he wasn't with someone so, while it was good news, it didn't matter to him much. 

But now he wanted it more than ever. With Ben.

***

The whole holiday week was basically a long cuddle session with meals, seasonal treats and shows. Ben worked hard all morning, making a brunch with lots of eggs, sausage (regular and vegetarian), fruit, cinnamon rolls, toast and anything else good he thought of. He wants everything to be perfect.

"Come in, come in. Ben's got the food ready," Gwil summoned the two older men into the house. He'd tried to help in the kitchen, but after burning some toast (he'd been distracted by Ben caressing the bump nearby) and been thrown out the kitchen, "Many happy returns!"

"I've missed you guys." Ben shuffled out with a smile, giving Brian and Roger each a hug. "I hope everything's been going well for you two. Brunch is all ready, I'll serve it. Just get settled."

"I see you've got the place all setup and baby proofed," Brian said to Gwil, who was heading to the kitchen to take the plates off Ben. Brian leaned into Roger's ear, quietly adding "Looks like another Queen baby's gonna be living the life."

"Oh yes. I can hardly wait to see the little dear." Roger sat down. "He's going to be the prettiest little baby, I'm sure of it. Just look at her Mummy and Daddy." 

Ben brought the plates over, making sure to point out the vegetarian sausages. He sat down with a plate himself once everyone was served. "Just let me know if anyone needs anything, I'll get it." 

"You need to relax too, dear." Roger put a hand on his shoulder. "We can navigate a kitchen."

Gwil had gone over to the pantry, sifted through some things until he found some glass bottled lemonade. He brought them over to the table, taking the last seat there, "Well, here's to a great 2019."

"Cheers," Ben agreed, carefully coinking with the others before taking a sip. He went back to his food after, happy himself about how it tasted. Delicious. He was getting to be a better chef all the time.

Gwil needed to speak to Brian, since his original plan was to have the baby's proposal onesie delivered to Lucy's - but she was going to America with Rami. Which meant he had to get Queen involved.

It was easy enough to get him aside. Roger and Ben had gone up to the nursery, just to admire the place for now. Brian was hanging out with Frankie, giving the guy a little petting session. 

"I think I know that look." Brian glanced at Gwilym. "You are...thinking of proposing, aren't you?"

Gwil was taken aback, he really had thought he was hiding it better than that, given he was an actor. But he must've let his guard down when half the party went upstairs. "Well yes. But I need a small favour," he chewed his lip, looking around to make sure the others were gone for sure, "So I'm waiting until after Bug's here, but I am ordering a few things. I don't really want to have them delivered here in case Ben opens them early. Could I put down your address and collect them after?"

"Of course, Gwil." Brian smiled and nodded. "I think it's lovely that you're feeling up to taking that step. Me and Rog… well, it was illegal. I did give him a ring after we had our first baby, but I remember the day… March 29th, 2014. When they legalized gay marriage in the UK… I could hardly wait. I set up the proposal right away and the wedding… well, our fifth anniversary is coming up this year, and I'm really looking forward to it. It's something else, sharing your name with someone so special.”

"Thanks, Bri," he hadn't really thought about it much, but they must've been waiting most of their lives to get married. "I want this, I want to marry Ben: I can't wait actually... We were talking about you pair the other day, and that's exactly it. You were meant to be together, true love. Which I didn't even believe in until I met Ben," the Taylor-Mays had become their role models. "Which brings me to my other question, neither of our families have taken a great interest in Ben and me having a family together, so I'd like to ask you and Roger for the blessing."

"Of course, you've got it." Brian nodded. "I'm sure Rog agrees with me too. You can tell him later---he'll be thrilled. And we'll be happy to help with any wedding planning or anything like that too." Brian was thrilled to be involved really. He'd even love to babysit when the couple decided to honeymoon.

"Thanks. Really, thank you," he could hear Ben and Roger coming back down the stairs and heading into the kitchen- they'd be back soon. "Gonna sound so stupid... But what's it like? Being a dad I mean."

"It's lovely, dear," Brian promised, ruffling Frankie's head again. "Trust me. You'll just love it."

Ben sat himself carefully on the sofa, putting his feet up. He was getting somewhat tired just from the stage he was at. Roger understood; He held his hand and helped him adjust for the moment. "Just rest, darling," he encouraged. "You're alright."

Gwil smiled at Brian, looking across to where Ben had crashed out. He headed over, leaning over the back of the couch so he was face to face with Ben, drawing his hands onto the belly "You holding up, babe?"

"Holding up as best I can," Ben promised with a little smile. "Just have a bit of a fussy baby currently. I'll manage." 

"It doesn't get easier towards the end." Roger rubbed his lower back gently. "But it's going to all be worth it soon, dears."

"Don't scare them off, Rog." Brian chided his husband, "But he's right- you'll look into their big round eyes and you'll love them for the rest of your lives. Your kid is gonna be so beautiful, too."

"I've been trying to picture them," Ben said softly. "I have...can't quite get a clear image but...yeah." He managed a tired little smile and closed his eyes. It was going to get better. He was sure it would.

"Have you pair done any prenatal classes or whatever the trendy alternative is?" Brian asked - Roger hadn't with his pregnancies since by the time those classes existed they had had a few kids already. 

"Em... no," Gwil answered "Should we?"

"We've just been reading up, and I've watched some programs on it," Ben replied. 'And I've found us… a midwife." Ben squeezed Gwil's hand. That's one of the things he'd done while Gwilym was touring. He found them a doctor at a birth center. The birthing pool was being shipped and Ben had been reading up everything he could and sharing it with Gwil. The home birth really did seem like their best option, so they'd sprung for it.

"I mean, I don't think we'll ever actually feel prepared, but everything's in order pretty much," Gwil sat on the arm of the sofa, taking Ben's hand in his other one so he could put an arm around him. "There won't be much stress at home anyway."

"Well we'll certainly be here for it," Roger promised. "Me and Brian wouldn't want to miss that for the world, and we'll help you through it, make sure you've got all that you need." Especially with the parents missing, Roger knew what a big difference the presence could make. John and Freddie had helped make things more bearable for him.

"It's so brilliant to know you're both there," Gwil gave them both a sincere look, squeezing Ben's shoulder. It didn't seem like the Jones family were going to change their mind, and his own family were being cold about how quickly they were going in the relationship, (although he had a feeling his mum might warm up eventually). "Hopefully it's a short labour and delivery."

"You can only hope." Roger knew it was usually longest the first time especially. They could keep their fingers crossed at least. 

"Babe, can you get me the ice?" Ben asked Gwil softly. He really needed it in his back right now.

"Course I can, love." He pecked Ben's hairline as he got up and then walked to the fridge. Brian smiled at them; they reminded him of how it had been in the early years. He noticed how the strongest kicks were clearly visible from the outside, even through the shirt Ben was wearing; 

"Looks like it'll be a big baby, then."

"Oh definitely." Ben rubbed the bottom of the bump. "I wouldn't be surprised if the baby was ten pounds." 

"Oh good Lord." Roger winced. "I think the biggest I had was… nine and a half? Smallest was close to five. That one didn't want to wait for it's due date."

Gwil came back with the ice, putting it behind Ben, "Well Bug had better stay in until the due date, since the pool doesn't arrive for a while longer." He tried to make light of it: but it fell flat out his mouth, he was too worried about something going wrong or Bug coming early.

"I think they're quite comfortable in there," Ben assured him with a little smile. "I've already discussed their contract. They best not violate it."

"I'm sure it'll all work out then." Roger chuckled softly.


	23. Chapter 23

Brian and Roger ended up staying for a few hours longer, discussing just about everything to do with the baby and the upcoming months. They left just before lunch so the could go to a meeting about their new tour, leaving the younger couple alone in their house. 

"I'm gonna get the crib built, let you get some rest." Gwil decided, he'd seen his boyfriend get increasingly more and more tired: he could entertain himself for a few hours while Ben napped.

"Thank you, darling." Ben smiled softly at the notion. "The couch feels just comfortable right now. I think I'll stay right here, with Frankie. For now at least."

"Call if you need anything." 

Gwil kissed his lips before disappearing upstairs. He managed to unpack the box easily enough, working out which part was which was a nightmare - but nowhere near as bad as trying to put it together. No matter how many times he ran his fingers through his hair and glared at the manual nothing made sense. Already he'd used a bunch of plasters and hammered in his thumb and he still found himself sitting in the middle of the nursery with half of the railing attached to the crib-legs around him.

"Not going so well?" Ben had wandered upstairs. He'd managed a brief nap, but wanted to go upstairs and change again. Ben was going to go right to bed, but he noticed Gwil messing about. "Why don't I just help you with the instructions? You can do the lifting."

Gwil was about to answer that 'there was no need, he had it covered', but the railing fell on top of him completely. "Ow!" he rubbed his head where it had landed - so maybe he should have paid more attention in GCSE woodwork "Please."

Ben laughed softly, walking in and sitting down in the rocking chair. He picked up the instructions, and then nodded. "So what I'm gonna do is sort this. Then tell you step by step how to get through it. You got it?"

"Yes boss" he mock saluted, but he was glad for the help. It took them a while (and another few injuries on his part), but eventually he found himself securing the mattress padding to the base of it, "Looks secure enough."

"Yes, yes." Ben had sorted all the other pieces into neat categories. "You think we can get this together before dinner? I'm figuring I may order us some food.”

"It's just finishing touches from here, I'll be down in a bit." Gwil promised, looking up from his spot on the ground to where Ben was waddling towards the door. He only really had to cover up the screw fittings and add the floor padding for the legs, but he wanted to get the linens all done up for when Ben came back up. It wouldn't be a huge surprise, but it would be nice to see the crib with its little blankets and cuddly toys.

Ben went downstairs and grabbed his phone. He ordered them a pizza, with the toppings he was currently craving; All the vegetables, extra peppers and tomatoes, and a sprinkling of pepperoni. He settled on the sofa with Frankie again, after grabbing a few apple juice boxes. Apple juice was another favorite.

Gwil finished up, the little teddy bear print protector cover was now fitted with a little yellow blanket that had red embroideries on it. He'd put in a few of the spare cushions they'd bought that went with the room- not that he thought they would stay there when Bug slept there, but for the time being. Finally he'd put in a teddy him and Joe found in Japan- just to be funny he'd put it into the Queen baby merch Roger and Brian had brought over. "Love! The room's done!"

"Cheers." Ben smiled and nodded, walking out. He softly gasped at the room, looking around. Seeing it all finished was...surreal. "Oh, love...perfect." He rested his hands on his swollen belly, feeling a few firm kicks. Now he was really feeling it. This was it.

It felt so real, seeing the room like this. There wasn't a doubt in his mind. He was where he was meant to be.

Gwil walked around to hug Ben from behind, it was the best way now the bump was so large. He wrapped his arms around Ben, pulling him gently flat against his chest. Ben looked like an angel, all golden and glowing, Gwilym couldn't help but fall even deeper in love than ever before."We've got about 6 weeks to get the last touches done on the house."

"That's plenty of time," he assured him. "It just… it's lovely, darling. Just perfect." The knock came downstairs. Ben smiled and kissed his cheek softly, then gestured downstairs. They could settle in for dinner now.

They ate peacefully and then retreated to bed. Gwil thought about the coming year, 2019: he would become a parent, hopefully his career would continue to be boosted by the film, he'd get engaged (assuming Ben says yes), perhaps even married.

2019... Ben was thinking about a lot himself. This film was going to be big... and he'd have the baby to boot. He did wonder what else might be coming. No way to tell yet. He could only pray and hope it all worked out.

The next morning, Gwilym set up breakfast in bed for his boyfriend, waking him up with a kiss on the lips "Happy birthday darling.."

Ben smiled softly, opening his eyes. He knew Gwil might be up to something, but the breakfast was always welcome. "Thank you, love," he replied, sitting up a bit. "Been cooking?"

"Yeah... And nothing's on fire so don't worry about that. This came from the producers," he handed over the DVD. It was Bohemian Rhapsody, but the extra extended version, with several scenes they filmed together that didn't make the cut. He had a few other presents for Ben downstairs, but he thought he'd start with the biggie.

"Oh, wow… the finished product." Ben grinned. "We'll have to watch it later, see how we did." He picked up his food after that, starting to eat. Gwil had done a good job actually. It was delicious. Bug seemed to agree, stirring around, but not too roughly.

"I don't think half of it is even in the extras of the normal dvd, so we'll be the only ones who have it," he sat on the bed, one hand on the bump as he held a cup of tea in the other, "There's a few other packages for you too." Some would be from close friends i.e Joe, Rami. But he didn't open any except the DVD (but that had been addressed to the both of them).

"That's so sweet of them." Ben nodded and took another bite. "I'll open them when I come down. And I expect I'll be sending out quite a lot of ‘thank you’ letters."

"Yeah, I suppose you will," he pecked Ben on the lips again, getting up to check his phone while there was quiet- the order had been finalised, two packages to be delivered to Brian's house in the next month. He smiled slightly to himself, putting the phone down before he got caught.

"You've not got any other plans for the day, have you dear?" Ben asked, sitting up a bit more as he'd finished his food. "I was thinking maybe we could slip a little walk in. Good for me and the baby, and I could use the stretch, so could Frankie."

"No plans at all." The snow had now become slush, it was still cold but it wasn't slippery, so he felt happy to let them go out for a bit without the worry of Ben hurting himself.

"Alright. Then it'll be a nice, cozy sweater walk in the park." Ben smiled and nodded. It did sound quite lovely to be honest. And the walk really would do him and his sore back good.

Gwil cleared away the plates once they'd finished, and got ready to go. He, at Ben's insistence, wore one of the hoodie's Ben had so it would smell of him. He looked over, seeing Ben struggling with his shoes. 

Gwil kneeled Infront of him and did up the laces "All done, love."

"Thanks. Few more weeks and I might be able to bend over again, heh." Ben smiled a little, looking up at him. He took Gwil's hands and hoisted himself to his feet, then whistled for Frankie to trot over. "C'mon, pup. Let's go."

Gwil smiled, laughing as Frankie got excited and jumped into the snow piles "Guess I'll be getting the dog bath ready when we get back" Frankie wasn't one to get zoomies, but had decided to go through a few puddles.

"I suppose so, huh?" Ben chuckled softly, shaking his head. "I think her spirit's renewed after basically hibernating all winter long. I've not seen her this spry in ages."

Not that the energy lasted long, unfortunately. Frankie ended up in Gwil's arms as they made their way back to the house. They'd walked for about an hour and the weather was turning nasty. "Can you get the door, love? I don't want to put Frankie down and have her run around all muddy."

"Sure, I got it, babe." Ben unlocked the front, slipping his shoes off before walking into the house. "Shall I get the bathtub running upstairs? And I'll towel off his feet with a rag first.'

"Please," he normally wouldn't let Ben lift a finger, but it wasn't a huge amount, and he couldn't put Frankie down. They got the bath running and sorted, he gently tried to put Frankie in 

"Come on you little fur baby, you'll like it once you're in." Gwil coaxed.

"I can coax him." Ben scratched under his chin a little, cooing softly. “Alright, puppa, time to get all tidied up for cuddles. You want cuddles, yeah?" That got the dog's tail wagging. "Good. Alright, babe, lower her in."

Gwil did, Frankie still struggled a bit, but actually entered the water. He rubbed the puppy shampoo into her fur, rinsing off the mud "I hope Bug isn't too averse to water." He knew babies either loved or hated baths.

"Oh, I do too...but it'll be fun to cover them in bubbles either way." Ben sat back a bit, rubbing his bump as he watched. "I mean, they've basically been underwater since they were formed . I'd hope it wouldn't be a huge issue."

Nodding, Gwil smiled as he nuzzled his head into the bump. He'd wanted to touch it, but his hands were covered in muddy water and were holding Frankie, so he opted to use his head. He wasn't sure if he could hear the baby in there or not, but he loved the feeling of the bump when Ben leaned against him. But clearly the baby didn't like being listened in on, swiftly kicking out to where he was touching. "Rugby player in the making."

"Oh yeah, not a doubt in my mind." Ben smiled and nodded, gently tracing circles around the foot. "A real strong little one. That's good. Hope it means I've taken care of them well enough to have them grow like this."

"Of course you've taken care of them well enough. You're already the best mum anyone could ask for. Bug loves you so so much, and they're not even born yet," he looked up at Ben from his perch.on the edge of the bathtub. The water was running clear now, so he drained the bath, taking Frankie out and wrapping her up in a towel.

"You're a doll for saying so." Ben smiled back at him. "I could never do it without you, love. You've been with me every step of the way, loving on Bug since you found out they were in there. I couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend… or daddy.”

That reassured Gwil, he'd been nervous about his ability as a father, but if Ben thought he'd do well, then he couldn't be doing too badly. Hopefully. "I wouldn't have it any other way. When you told me, I thought for a second you didn't want me involved and it broke my heart. You have no idea how good it feels to be here, through the good and bad."

"Never in a million years would I think about sending you off." Ben kissed his cheek. "Let's go get comfy then. Dog's all set, now it's our turn to fluff up. You wanna help me...shower, by any chance?"

"I'd fucking love to," Gwil jumped at the idea. It wasn't even the thought of sex, just the intimacy that he adored. He set Frankie down to run off. He took Ben's face in his hands, kissing him deeply. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Ben mumbled against his lips. Ben absolutely needed the help to be honest. And spending some time in the shower with Gwil on his birthday? What a dream.

Gwil helped to undress his boyfriend, taking his own clothes off as Ben got the water the right temperature. They got in, the bump looked bigger when it wasn't hidden away by clothes. Not that there was any hiding it at this point. He put the shampoo into Ben's hair, feeling the soft little curls under his touch as he massaged it in, "I hope they're blonde."

"You do?" Ben smiled softly. "We'll see. It's a recessive gene, but as I'm the...mum, we may have a chance. Mmm… but I bet they'll grow as tall as you are."

"Seeing as you're getting all biological, the men in my family are tall and the women short: so it'll depend on the gender what alleles they get," he tried to sound as if he didn't just regurgitate highschool science lessons. "They'll have your eyes I reckon. Stronger gene."

"Mm, yeah." Ben gently smoothed soapy foam over his belly. The baby was reacting to the pattering of the shower on Ben's front, stirring about more than ever now.  
It just all felt so good.

Gwil trailed his fingertips over Ben's spine, feeling how tense it was. He moved to stand behind Ben, using his knuckles to take the kinks out of his shoulders and back. He spent more time on the small of Ben's back, where most of the pressure from the weight fell.

"Oh bloody hell...that's lovely." Ben melted into his touch, not able to suppress a few relieved moans. Yes, his back ached, horribly. Not a moment was he numb to the pressure, aching and throbbing. This, though, this was heavenly. He'd have to have Gwil do it more often.

"Anything for you," he kissed along his boyfriend's shoulders and neck, hands still working away. "If I could take away all the aches and pains I would." He'd take them himself if he had the choice, rather than watch Ben suffer through it.

"No… I'd never give this to you." Ben turned to look at him. "And besides… it means something more than pain. I'm weaving our little one in my womb. All the pain is gonna fade away when they're in my arms."

Gwil nodded, he could understand that, in a way. He still would find it difficult to watch Ben in so much pain. "You're the strongest person I ever met, you know?"

"You're probably stronger." Ben squeezed his hand. "You're the one holding me up."

"But I'd fall without someone to hold onto." The water was running colder now, so after quickly washing his own hair he shut it off, getting out first so he could grab a towel to wrap around Ben, helping him out the shower before putting a towel on himself.

"I guess we need each other, then." Ben gave him a brief kiss, smiling softly. He started drying off, gently ruffling his hair with a smaller towel from the counter. "Hm...I think we fancy a snack and a bit of a cuddle right about now.

"Who am I to say no to that?" He went into the bedroom, quickly pulling on tracky bottoms and an old (holey and faded) t-shirt. He looked back to Ben, "Hoodie's yours now: should smell enough like me."

"Cheers." Ben pulled that on over a tank top and a comfy pair of flannel pajama pants. .

He made sure Frankie was dry before sitting on the sofa with her. He told Gwil to get the cheese, crackers and grapes as well all some leftover Christmas chocolate, and they put the movie on.

They spent the rest of the day like that: nipping away at food and watching films, all snuggled in against each other. Gwil got an email back from the theatre company, he'd got the part in the summer production that would go on for eight weeks and fit around 9 to 5 hours. He didn't mention it to Ben, it was his day after all.

Ben probably wouldn't mind. He'd be happy for him. For now, though, he did appreciate just being with him. Gwil meant the world to him, and having the cuddle session made him feel so incredibly loved.

To Ben, it felt like January crawled by. Roger was right about it not getting easier; By the middle of the month, the baby had put itself in the birth position, but the doctor assured Ben that was the usual, and he still had time to wait. Ben also started getting horrific pre labor contractions. They almost had him calling the hospital. But since they were till irregularly timed and he didn't dilate at all, it wasn't labor. It didn't make things any better for Ben.

Gwil came in from the shop, dropping the items into the fridge and cupboard then pulling out the earphones. There was a groaning from the living room. He rushed over to find Ben leaning his elbow on the back of the sofa, "Babe, breathe, are you okay?"

"I'm alright… having those horrific cramps again." Ben took a few deep breaths. "They've just… you know how they've been… fuck..." He had his other hand on the bottom of his bump, and he was biting his lip. Tears were pricking his eyes now… he just wanted to go into labor.

Gwil rubbed Ben's back with one hand as his other held onto his boyfriend's own hands. "It won't be long now..." The doctor had said any day was likely, even if the due date was in two weeks it was rare for a pregnancy - male particularly - to reach exactly full term, and from the size of the baby it was doubted that Bug would be a late baby.

"I-I just… want t-to hold them," he whimpered, pressing his face to Gwil's chest. He couldn't help crying at this point.

"You will, my love, soon," he felt so helpless, it was 50% his fault and he couldn't do anything about it. He couldn't even promise it would be soon - if Bug decided to take their time it could be twenty plus days. All he could do was pull gently into Ben and offer a hand to squeeze and a shoulder to cry on. "Do you want to try to walk it off?"

"Yes… yes, please." Ben sniffled a little, straightening up and wiping his face. "Stupid hormones.. shouldn't be a sobbing mess already. How am I gonna get through labor if I can't manage this?" He was caught up in the moment a bit. Ben was not changing his mind about the home birth.

"It's alright to cry, you'll get through the labour like a champ; because I have so much faith in you... I just know you'll manage. And in the end, you'll bring our little miracle to the world, Ben. Only you have the power to do that," he put an arm around Ben's waist helping him take a few steps around the living room. "Why don't I set the pool up later on? We can test it out to make sure it works and the water might help you relax." Since showers and baths seemed to calm Bug at least, the bigger option of the pool meant Ben could stretch out and Gwil could maneuver about from the outside easier than the tub.

"You… you think that's a safe option before the baby comes?" Honestly, it did sound quite nice. Ben would love to be soaking in the warmth. He'd go swimming too, honestly, but that required just a bit more energy than he currently had. He was desperately trying to conserve that. "Yeah… alright… maybe we'll do that then."

"It should be safe enough, as long as the water's either changed or cleaned between uses and nothing sharp is near it," that meant Frankie was kept out of the room, but the dog had a tendency to not like his owner's pained noises anyway. "Cramps are still irregular?" he'd been timing them, but he might've missed some when he went to the shop.

"Yes. Been trying to count, but...no numbers have matched up yet." Ben exhaled slowly. "Okay… we're in between. I think… hmm… I think I'm ready to sit down. Can you put on some of my lavender tea and get the ginger biscuits?”

He let Ben use him as a prop to hoist himself slowly down onto the couch with. He headed into the kitchen, quickly making what was required. He checked his phone as the kettle boiled. There was a message from Roger saying they had received the packages. He came back with a cup and a plate of biscuits. "Where are you wanting the pool set up? Might as well leave it there until it's time."

"Mm… I mean, the living room seems like a feasible place." Ben nodded. "We'll move the coffee table and then just use the middle of the floor. Make sure you put down the tarp, though, and put the liner in the pool before the water."

"I know, not all instructions are as difficult as the crib's," he said dramatically, hoping to get a smile out of Ben, or at least take his mind off of things. He waited until the tea had been drunk to shift the table across, then put down the tarp, unfolding the pool on top of it and connecting the pump, "That shouldn't take too long to inflate."

"Yeah… I imagine it'll feel just lovely." Ben glanced at his phone, chuckling softly. "Aw, babe, did you see what Joe sent to our band group? He's picked up a little set of hoodies speckled with dinosaurs. It's precious, and there's a hat and socks too.

Gwilym peered over to see the phone screen, "That's cute, he's been clever about it too. It's 6-12 month sized, so Bug won't fit it for a while, but they'll probably get more wear out of it." plus they'd bought loads of things for the newborn stage. The pool was then filled with water which could be heated once the pool was full.

The entire pool set up took about an hour, but it gave Ben some time to get into his bathing trunks. He got in with Gwilym's help, carefully sitting down with him and taking a few deep breaths. It took him a moment to settle in, but he smiled softly once he was in a good position. "Yeah… this was a great idea, babe."

Gwil took an old plastic cup, using it to scoop water and pour it over Ben's back and shoulders. He was careful to avoid the chest area, knowing it had gotten more sensitive this close to the birth. "You look so natural like this."

Ben blushed softly. "You're not gon' get the camera out, are you?" It was a fair question. They'd continuously updated the pregnancy album, with new scans and stuff like that, and Ben was always just a bit shy about the pictures of himself.

"Not if you don't want me to," he'd taken all the bump updates he'd received during the tour from his phone and put them in order with a bunch of other photos he'd taken since he knew about the pregnancy and put them in order to show the changes. "I'd like to though. I wish you knew how beautiful you look, even now."

"I mean… you may as well. Caption it 'Testing the Waters' or something." Ben rubbed his side a little, where one of the baby's hands was poking. "Just don't show it to me till it's already in the book. No going back.”

Gwil took a while to get the camera on purpose. He didn't want Ben to be self conscious in the photos, hence why he creeped down after 15 minutes, taking it as Ben hummed softly at the bump. He must've been between cramps and was almost smiling. He snapped another couple before revealing himself.

Ben looked up at him, still smiling a little. "The paparazzi in my very own home. Nothing's sacred now, is it?" He pushed his hair back a bit. All in good fun, of course. He planned on well timed photos between the labor as well. And the moment the baby was born, he was sure Brian would be on top of it.

"Not really a paparazzo given at least three of those were blurry," he put the camera off to the side and knelt beside the pool, letting his arms reach in to massage Ben's back. "I'm happy it turned out like this."

"Oh, I am too." Ben looked back at him. "As good as a painkiller sounds, I really think we're doing the right thing here, having the baby at home. Give it a few days, we post their little picture, and then we can explain things."

"Yeah, or we have Brian or Roger do it," they were far more active on social media than the younger couple ironically "But I was talking about us. If we hadn't got over ourselves at the farm you'd be with some pretty young boyfriend and I'd be with Martin and Bug wouldn't even exist."

"Oh, yeah." Ben looked down. “To be honest, you sort of… helped me accept the whole gay thing. You're the only man I've ever really loved, ever considered myself in a real relationship with."

"Glad to hear it," he didn't know that. Well, he knew Ben had avoided his sexuality for a while. But he thought he had just turned up as he was coming to terms with it, not that he'd had anything to do with it. "I love you"

"I love you too, Gwil." Ben tilted his head to give him a soft kiss. He really was more in love than he thought was possible. It was like a movie, almost unrealistic, but… here they were.


	24. Chapter 24

He helped Ben get out a while later, bringing towels and a change of clothes to the room. "I never said, by the way, I'll be at the theatre this summer."

"Oh, how lovely." Ben beamed and kissed his cheek. "I'll have to take Bug to see you, so long as it's appropriate."

"Twelfth night should be fine for a baby. Not so sure about Richard III." He was doing two plays for the company, a comedy and a tragedy. "I think I'll take the rest of the year off so I can stay with you and Bug."

"Aw, babe." Ben leaned on him gently, but shook his head. "Only if it's really what you want. We're all here for supporting papa in his work endeavors."

"It's exactly what I want," it wasn't like he was quitting, after Christmas he'd start auditioning again, and it wasn't like they needed the money. "On a different note, the big group chat’s got another bet on about when Bug's going to arrive."

"Oh good Lord." Ben chuckled and sat back a bit. "And are they still pressing their views on the gender as well? Honestly, anything to be able to gloat a bit."

"Well the bets are, Joe says tonight, Rami and Allen are saying day after tomorrow, which'll be Thursday. Lucy says Friday morning, Roger says that night. Brian says the following Monday so hopefully he's wrong."

"Oh, yes Lord, please..." Ben shook his head, squeezing Gwil's hand when he got another cramp. "Please, if anyone's wrong, let it be Brian. That… I really don't think I can go on that much longer."

"Well I'm saying tomorrow. Seeing as the cramps are worse and more frequent," he hoped for Ben's sake he was right, "They're betting on the weight, labour length and what they'll look like."

"God… they need to let it go." Ben rubbed the bump. "Bug will be here when they're good and ready to be. End of story."

Gwil laughed a bit, but didn't dare to argue with him. "I need to sort the pool, you heading to bed? I can bring up dinner after I'm done."

"Yes, that would be lovely." Ben kissed his cheek. "I'll see you there soon then, love." Ben carefully waddled upstairs, switching his trunks out for underwear. He uses the toilet before moving to the bed. It was a maneuver, settling in, but eventually he was in place, sitting up against the bedhead, propped up with pillows.

Gwil followed him up a while later, after draining the water and heating up some lasagne. "Bon appetite. I brought up a spicy sauce too," he held up the gravy boat he'd put it in, "Read somewhere spicy food can induce labour, wasn't sure if you'd be up for that sort of shenanigans."

"Yes, bring it on." Ben liked spicy anyways. He thoroughly enjoyed every bite of the lasagna, sauce used heavily. "Mm. You know… if we're talking about inducing labor, I can think of a few other things we can try." He smiled a bit mischievously, hand shifting to Gwil's thigh.

Gwil grinned, raising an eyebrow. He put the dirty plates on the floor on his side of the bed. "You sure you're up for that?"

"As long as we're in the right position." Ben knew the bump was an obstacle. "Do it while you spoon me from behind? Seems easier than standing. Maybe if I get the rush of energy I'll ride you too."

Gwil nodded, carefully removing both their clothes and lying behind Ben. "You're so, so beautiful," he kissed at Ben's neck, using his teeth on the sensitive area "So precious. I'll take care of you..."

Ben whined a little out of habit. "You always do… and it always feels so good..."

It was slower than usual. More fumbling around and shifting, trying to find a good position and angle. Gwil kept his hands on Ben's hip, rubbing away at the pressure of the bump as they moved. Gwil felt Ben's head fall back onto his shoulder as they peaked together. A few minutes later he disentangled their limbs. "Wait there, I'm going to go get a cloth to clean up a bit."

"Cheers," Ben breathed with a smile. Blissful. He felt fantastic, it had relieved the cramps immensely. He was happy and relaxed as Gwil gently cleaned him off. "We'll have to do that again soon, if this didn't work."

"We'll see. Who knows, give it a few hours and it might kick off," although he knew labours didn't really 'kick off'. More like they gradually scuffled along. They just had to time them until they got close or wait for the waters to break then call Ben's midwife.

Ben focused on breathing and relaxing in place for now. Felt good. Just to relax now. The labor didn't kick off that night. It turns on the person most on the money was Roger. Friday evening. 

Ben was in the kitchen, making a peanut butter and marshmallow spread sandwich (no judging allowed) when he got another of the usual cramps. Or… well, he thought. Ben tried to breath it out. And for a moment, a split second, he felt relief… and then his pants were soaked wet. 

"Shit… shit..." Ben panted softly, holding the counter still. Gwil was taking Frankie for his evening walk (he shot him a text), so he immediately reached for his phone and dialed up the midwife. After letting her know, his next call was Roger.

"Water's broken… this is it." he said through the breaths.

Roger smiled a bit down the phone, mouthing the news to Brian "Go relax as much as you can- it'll be a while yet," he made sure the younger man was definitely alright, sat on the sofa with plenty water, "We'll be across in a bit, do need us to bring anything?"

"No… just your wonderful selves." Ben managed a little smile, exhaling slowly through another contraction. "I'll see you soon, Rog."

Gwil had ran back home, grateful that Frankie seemed to sense the urgency and trotted alongside him as fast as possible. The text had put the fear of God into him. He made it to the house in record time, bursting through the door "Ben?!" He heard a grunt further inside the house, prompting him to go in. He found Ben on the sofa looking surprisingly calm, "Are you okay? Have you called the midwife? And timed them? Are you remembering to breathe and..." he was rambling and still out of breath from running.

"I am… yes… eleven minutes apart." Ben smiled a little. "Go wipe off a bit, you're sweating more than I will be. We've got a pool to set up, and a baby to have."

Gwil pecked his cheek and rushed up stairs. If it was eleven minutes he knew it would still be a long haul. He quickly freshened up and changed into some tracky bottoms and an old shirt. He headed back down. Since the pool was still inflated he only had to top up the air. He took Ben's hand during a contraction, soothing him through it. The pool was full and just heating up when Roger and Brian turned up.

"We ready to have a baby then, lads?" Brian asked, wandering over. 

"As ready as we can be," Ben replied with a small smile. He was definitely ready for it to be all over.

Gwil and Roger helped Ben get into the pool as Brian took over the timing responsibility. The contractions were at nine minutes by the time they had everything ready and we're just waiting for the midwife to turn up. 

"You're going quite quickly for the first time, hopefully the rest is the same." Roger patted his back, having dragged a chair next to the pool.

"Cheers… thanks." Ben smiled at that, then closed his eyes and held the edge of the tub a bit as he breathed through another contraction. "This… this one's tough." He said through his teeth.

Gwil offered his hand, feeling Ben squeeze it as the contraction grew to a peak then slowly faded "Do you want to change positions or anything?"

"No… m'okay right now." Ben exhaled slowly. "You're… you're doing great, babe. It'll be over in no time."

"I should be telling you that," he smiled, letting Ben rest against him a bit more. Brian was faffing with the camera in the background, announcing after a while that they were at 8 minutes. "We'll get to meet them soon, our little Bug."

"Yes… yes, we will." Ben smiled up at him. "Can you believe it?" he added softly. "After all this time… almost ready."

"You'll be such a good mum, you know," he took the plastic cup again and started pouring water over the blond's back just as he had the other day. "You're doing wonderful, darling."

"Thanks." Ben looked up at him. "You're a wonderful dad too. When… I was talking to the midwife last week and… when I'm ready to push, she said you could… come in and hold me up." That was another reason Ben chose the home birth. Whether on the bed or in the tub, he could have Gwil as close as he wanted the whole time.

"Would be my honour." he really wanted to be there holding Ben as their child was brought into the world. He could see Brian, out the corner of his eye, taking photos, getting up to answer the phone when it rang: the midwife must be nearly there.

Ben pressed his head gently against Gwil's chest for the moment. He continued to pace his breathing, clinging to his shirt for the time being. Roger stayed close, hands on Ben's shoulders for now to rub gently. 

"You're being so strong." Roger encouraged softly.

"I'm so proud of you, Ben," he rubbed his fingers on his free hand on Ben's scalp, Brian was still on the phone just outside, "Nearly there, babe. You can do it."

"Mmm… where's Sarah, though?" Ben was a bit worried now. He'd called the midwife at least two hours before.

Gwil and Roger both looked over at Brian who was coming back into the room, phone in hand "There's been a delay. She'll be here in a while; didn't say when exactly but over the next two hours probably. She said you'd be fine for the time being since labour can last a long time."

"Right… okay." Ben nodded and closed his eyes, leaning on the back of the tub. That did sort of make him nervous, though. She was a medical professional. He sort of felt a bit more secure with her there.

"Hey, hey, listen," Roger made Ben look up at him. "It'll be fine - you've got six or seven hours left at the rate you're going, and that's if it doesn't slow down, which it usually does." He waited until Ben nodded, patting Gwil's shoulder as he got up to find some ice for Ben.

"Right… I'm sorry. I-I can't help it." Ben looked down. "This is such a… huge thing and… I just desperately want it to go smoothly. It's really rough.... I mean, it hurts, obviously, but it's just… sort of overwhelming."

"It's alright, she'll be here soon and nothing’s gonna go wrong," Gwil hugged him closer to his chest, he wasn't sure if he was reassuring Ben or himself. About an hour and a half later the midwife did turn up, but the contractions that were at six minutes slowed down.

Ben was holding on so far. The pain was getting worse, and he was also getting more fatigued now. He felt ill, his head hurt, and he was desperately suckling on the ice, unable to eat any food.

Gwil was kneeling beside the pool so he could lean over the edge of it. He had Ben's back to his chest as they rocked to the sides a little. Sarah had checked the dilation, six centimeters, recently. They were over half way now; "You're going great guns, just a little longer, yeah?"

"Just… just a bit more." Ben panted softly. "It's.... it's so much pressure… so much squeezing, I..." He winced. "I-I have to get my second wind."

"You will, darling, you will," he now held both of the blond's hands, feeling them beginning to get crushed when the contractions grew closer together and longer every time. Gwil was starting to worry though, Ben was already knackered and they hadn't even got to the active labour yet.

"Mmm… Gwil, distract me," Ben whispered softly. "Talk to me about something… anything… take my mind off the pain."

Gwilym thought for a moment, what the hell distracts someone? "Did I ever tell you some of the weird Welsh fairy tales?..." He started off talking, realising early on that Ben seemed to calm a little at the words- not really taking the story in, but the rhythm and rhyme somehow managed to fit in with his breathing as he told him some of the stranger stories about nymphs and fairies that he'd been taught as a child (well, the english version anyway).

Ben was quite happy with it. It definitely helped him, just hearing Gwil's voice. It was helping him pretend it wasn't hurting so badly. He was okay… he was going to be fine... 

Then the baby crowned.

Gwil slipped into the pool, and Ben carefully propped himself against him, while putting his legs carefully in a birthing position. Ben held one of Gwil's hands, his other hand taken by Roger, who was soothingly rubbing his arm too. Brian was standing by, camera on. Ben had wanted to capture the moment---he'd have him keep the camera focused on the three of them, to get the baby being set in his arms for the first time. 

"Alright Ben… this is it," the midwife instructed. "Now, as soon as you feel the contraction, you need to push, but don't forget to breathe, and take breaks."

"You can do this, sweetheart," he had his arm wrapped round Ben for support, and he could feel when Ben started pushing; leaning forward and clamping down on his hand. Roger kept a cloth on Ben's forehead, patting down the sweat and redness. Gwil's heart broke when Ben cried out as the head was delivered, "Babe, one more push, you can do it, just one more push... come on, darling."

Ben was breathing hard, eyes closed tightly. He came to the final push; All the tearing and burning, the pressure, it was climaxing, and he was unable to keep the pained cries of effort at bay. He tucked his chin to his chest, giving one more strangled cry. 

The midwife lifted the little one from the water, and immediately the infant started to wail. Ben gasped and put his head back on Gwil, starting to fully cry too. The pain… but the relief, the joy. He'd done it. 

"Congratulations, boys." Sarah carefully wiped the baby off with a soft cloth. "You have a son." 

Ben took the little infant into his arms, still crying as he kissed his head softly. The baby's little whimpers were calming as he realized he was in his mother's arms. Roger was crying a bit himself, and of course Gwil was teary. "He's here… Gwil, he's here," Ben rasped.

Gwil couldn't find the words, he was dumbfounded, looking at the little baby. He reached out to touch him, feeling how warm and fragile he was. Gwil hugged his family closer. His family. He could hear voices in the background, '2.36 Am, Saturday the 9th of February.' 

"That's our Bug, Ben. It's our little Bug."

"He's here. I can hardly believe it." Ben shook his head. "He's absolutely beautiful...he's perfect." 

"You're done such a good job, lads," Roger commended them. "Especially you, Ben. You really pulled through it.'

"He's right. This is all because of you." Gwil kissed him lightly on the cheek. They stayed like that for as long as they were allowed. Gwil cut the cord just before he got out so he could help clean his son while they were delivering the placenta. That was one of the positives about the home birth, he had the responsibility of looking after the baby since there weren't hospital staff.

The little one was just precious. Carefully put in an infant diaper, then swaddled in a soft blanket, tiny hat and socks. He was adorable. Ben was carefully cleaned up after, and moved to the sofa. He only wore a pair of underwear and a fluffy robe for now, carefully cushioned with pillows and blankets. Ben would be sleeping downstairs on the sofa for at least the next week; his body wasn't ready for stairs. He was more than thrilled when the baby was placed back in his arms.

"Hey there, Bug," Ben cooed softly, admiring his sleeping son. "God...he's almost too good to be real."

Gwil went to sit next to his boyfriend, admiring his tiny son. Well, he wasn't that tiny, weighing in at just over 10lbs and having clearly taken after his daddy height wise. His features were still a little hard to decipher, but wisps of light hair were hidden under the little hat. "Darling, we can't call him Bug forever." They probably would, but he'd need a proper name too.

"I know, I know." Ben brushed a thumb over his pudgy cheek. "We just need to decide… were there any name suggestions we really fancied?"

"You quite liked Evan or Luke, I liked Harry or Tommy," he wasn't sure which suited the little baby, but they could always give him two middle names. "Latest suggestions from Joe were Rory, Freddie and Hugo."

"Well, sweet as Freddie is, I don't think it quite suits him." Ben looked him over. "Now that I see him… what do you think of Malcolm?"

"I like Malcolm," the baby gurgled then, prompting some attention from his parents. Gwil watched in awe as he wrapped his tiny hand around his finger, "What about middle names?"

"What sounds good with Malcom and Lee?" Ben rubbed his back softly. "Malcolm Joseph Lee?"

"Joe would never shut up about it, but it goes well," he marvelled at the fact this little creature was a Lee, thinking for a second to see if there was any other names "Tristan? Ianto? Maybe Ceri?" he tried to think of something normal that had some heritage behind it.

"I like Ceri. Malcolm Ceri Lee." Ben smiled at the little one. "I think that fits."

"Ceri means love, and, well... He is so loved," he kissed the top of Malcolm's head, "Get some rest love, you deserve it. I'll be right beside you."

Ben nodded a bit. He kept his arms around little Malcolm, and he fell asleep too before long. 

"It's really something, isn't it?" Roger rested a hand on Gwil's shoulder. "Seeing them there like this. Having your son in your arms. A whole new world, really."

"They are my universe, him and Ben. I love Malcolm, he's everything," it was finally starting to dawn on him what had just happened. He had a baby now. In Ben's arms was a little thing that was 50% him, that he would help raise, help teach reading and writing and riding a bike. A little thing that would want bedtime stories, that would sit on his shoulders and hold his hand and play at the park. A baby that would grow up to go to school, that would ask his permission when Ben had already said no. A son that would call him dad. "I... I'm a dad..."

"And a wonderful dad you are," Brian added. "You helped Ben through every single step. Now, you get to enjoy the benefits."

"Not to say it doesn't get tough… it certainly does." Roger shook his head. "But it's much more rewarding than it is taxing."

Gwil nodded. He was still trying to get over the concept, on the brink of tears. After a while, the midwife declared the stage were something could go wrong was over and left, promising to return the following morning. It was nearly four am by that point so he decided to busy himself until either Malcolm started crying or Ben woke up.


	25. Chapter 25

He set up the guest room for Roger and Brian, then tidied away the pool, putting it to dry out in the garden (he'd clean it properly later). He must've been asleep for a few minutes, sitting on the floor by the sofa, head next to Ben's and one hand covering the baby - when he was woken up by crying.

Ben was woken up immediately. He looked down at Malcolm, adjusting a little in place. Ben shifted the baby gently, hushing him as softly as he could. "Alright, Malcolm, you're alright." Ben adjusted him, opening the robe a bit. "I think it's time we try this while breastfeeding thing."

Gwil helped him sit up a little, putting pillows behind to keep him propped up. He watched as Ben fumbled about a bit, eventually getting the baby to latch on. Malcolm didn't take much, but he was only tiny.

"I can take him for a bit." He'd need winding and it was easier with more mobility than Ben had.

"Yes, go on, dad." Ben smiled and handed the little one up gently. "Let papa cuddle you now, love. He's been waiting for ages for mumma to give him a turn, almost nine months."

"I'll try my best," he held the tiny body close to his chest, tucking the head into the nook of his shoulder as he held Malcolm slightly upright, rubbing his back to burp the baby. The baby seemed to nuzzle into him "He's very like his mummy."

"I agree. Just clinging to you." Ben smiled up at them, getting a few pictures and video clips on his phone as well.

Gwil cooed at the baby who slowly started to doze off again, he was still only wearing a nappy and blanket, but the midwife had said he could stay like that for a bit longer. After a while, Ben started to nod off too, so he handed the baby back, watching the two most important people in his life cuddle together in front of him.

"My little love." Ben kissed his head softly, closing his eyes. "Mama loves you, so much… you'll always know it too. Even when you're a stroppy teenager and don't want to talk to me, still love you." He fell asleep shortly after that.

Gwil couldn't imagine such a little thing ever being a teenager or growing up. He knew it would happen, but he didn't want to think about it. He sat back onto the floor, half leaning on the sofa. 

He woke up again a few hours later, well into the day this time, to the smell of cooking. Ben was still asleep, clutching at their son. Gwil looked over at the kitchen to see Brian and Roger milling about, "Morning..."

"Morning, dears." Roger smiled and looked up from the stove. "How's the first night with the baby been?"

"Good. He only woke up a few times," he got up, deciding to drag a chair up for the following night - his back complained about the floor, "I guess he'll need a feed soon. And a proper wash, too."

"Babies don't need real baths for a few days." Roger looked over. "We always bathed our babies in the sink for the first month at least. And you've gotta be so incredibly careful that they stay warm. We'd be constantly giving them warm water over their little figure.'

"I will, I think the plan was just to use the sink for a bit too," he was really glad the older couple had stayed to help. "There's so much to remember."

"Yes, but you'll get in the swing." Roger patted his shoulder. "We've got a nice breakfast made for you and mumma, now. Or brunch rather.”

"Thanks, Rog," he smiled at the older man. He was about to wake Ben up when Malcolm beat him to it. "Hey mama, How'd you sleep?"

"Not too bad." Ben smiled. "Only up with the baby twice. He had a change and another feed, which I expect is what he wants now."

Gwil let Ben feed the baby before helping him to sit up properly for breakfast. In the meantime he took Malcolm upstairs, bathing him carefully with instructions from Brian. Gwil dressed his son in a tiny newborn baby grow, swaddling him to add warmth. He was yet to open his eyes, but all babies this young had blue eyes. Gwilym carried him back down stairs in a carrier, handing him back to his mother.

"Oh. Look at you." Ben was sitting up, beaming at the little baby cuddled into his arms. "You're beautiful, love, in your little outfit. And you smell even sweeter than before." He kissed his nose softly, earning a tiny sneeze.

Brian snapped another photo, smiling at the happy family, "We're going to go and freshen up," they had left in a bit of a rush and hadn't brought much change of clothes. "But we'll be back in a few hours. We can take Frankie with us."

"Oh she'd love that." Ben smiled and nodded. "Her vest and leash are right over there on the hook. She needs a stretch."

Gwil walked them out the door, waving goodbye as they drove away. Realistically they were going to stay a few days, at least until Ben could do stairs. He came back to the living room 

"Holding up? Do you need anything?"

"I'm alright for now. I mean, might need the toilet in a minute, but you'll just take Malcolm." Ben had just gotten him fully back to sleep. "He has the sweetest pout while he sleeps, doesn't he?"

"Just like yours, darling," he ran the back of his pointy finger across Malcolm's cheek, "He's a perfect mixture of the both of us."

Ben blushed softly. "I guess he did inherit that from me. He's sort of me looking so far, but I think you'll shine through as he grows. Like, that's your nose, but definitely my lips.

"Yeah, the sort of forehead area is a bit me, like the eyebrows," Malcolm had the same eyebrows that were triangular pretty much, even if you could barely see them. "We should probably tell folk, I'm sure Joe’s got some money to pay up."

"Yes, send the pictures off." Ben adjusted him gently. "And you can take a little video for them if you like.”

Gwil ended up taking a video, introducing it on his face saying that he had a surprise, before panning round to where Ben sat on the sofa. He left it at that and sent it off, "Most of them are in LA, that's hours behind so they'll see it in a while. I'm gonna send a text to my mum too. I don't know what dad thinks about it but she deserves to know."

"Yes, yes. And… maybe tomorrow we'll make his introduction post." Ben looked back at Malcolm. "I think it's about time, especially if he's coming to the premiere.'

"That should give it enough time to run through all the papers and see what they come up with this time." He dreaded to think what they would say, but sometimes it could be quite funny the conclusions they came to. 

He typed out a message for his mum: 'Hiya, I thought you would be interested in knowing that you've got another grandchild as of last night. Call me when you're ready.’ He passed it to Ben to check over.

Ben nodded and smiled softly. He wished his own parents were as accepting. He'd really tried, but...at least he had the people he had to look after him. Malcolm woke up about then, not fussing. He stretched and opened his baby blue eyes, peering at Ben curiously. "Babe, look." Ben grinned. "Hey there, bubba.'

"Hello, Mally. It's your mummy and daddy," he seemed to peer up at them as if he was inspecting the pair who called themselves his parents. In reality he could barely see, probably just trying to follow the noise, "we love you so, so much baby."

"Yes we do." Ben nuzzled his cheek gently. Malcolm cooed a little, then stretched and yawned again, letting his eyes close. Ben chuckled softly. "Aw, too much effort? Bless your heart."

Gwil watched in awe. He'd expected Ben to get maternal, but this was something else. He was so in love with how caring and gentle Ben had become with the fragile little baby it made his heart swoop. "I think Bug just wants to cuddle up to mumma, I don't really blame him."

Ben gently nosed his hair, inhaling his soft baby scent. He'd been washed, but a bit of infant smell still clung to him. Ben couldn't help it one bit. It all felt so natural, just cuddling the little darling. He still felt odd sometimes, not having his son inside him, but it was incredible to have him really there. "No, I suppose I'd be doing the same thing."

Gwil hooked his arm around his boyfriend. Boyfriend didn't sound right, it wasn't powerful enough for what he felt for the mother of his son. But that was the word he had to use until he asked the question, which he planned for once they had a decent routine set up, but before the premier. He let Ben lean on him as he held the two of them, "It's so wonderful to hold him, like have him actually there right in front of you."

"Yes, it's incredible." Ben smiled up at him. "It feels like… well, it makes me forget everything that hurts. I'm just all warm and fuzzy and fluttery in my chest. The feeling of him, his little baby breaths and nuzzles... incredible.”

"I can't wait to watch him grow up and go through all the milestones, but I don't want him to grow up at all, you know what I mean?"

"Yes, exactly. First word, first steps, first holidays." Ben smiled sweetly. "But I do quite like him now, all tiny and cozy. Nothing to do but nap really."

"He's got his priorities down to a tee," Gwil joked, it wasn't like Malcolm knew anything, "I'm gonna go make lunch, what does the world's best mum fancy?"

"Sandwiches, cucumber, tomatoes and cream cheese please. And white bread if you can." Ben gently shifted Malcolm, just a bit, making the little one sigh softly through his nose.

"Right away," he pressed a kiss into Ben's shoulder, then got up towards the kitchen. Looking into the group chat there was dozens of questions, most of which he replied to in a block text. Everyone seemed delighted and he was happy they had that much support.

Ben had glanced at the chat once or twice, but he wasn't in the replying mood yet. He was quite occupied with Malcolm, and he had an excuse anyways. The little one was basically his entire world. He felt like he could hold him forever.

Gwil came back out with lunch for the two of them, "If you want, we can wait for Roger to get back so he can watch over Malcolm so I can help you wash up." He knew Ben couldn't bend or stand for long so taking a shower or bath might be difficult.

"Oh yeah, that'd be nice." Ben had been sort of towelled off. But he hadn't had a real shower or anything. "Just a quick rinse off, make me feel like a new person again. And I'm sure Brian and Roger are eager to get their hands on the little guy.”

They got round the first few days with plenty of help from Brian and Roger. Malcolm was taken by his dad to a proper appointment to make sure he was properly healthy and fit. After a few more days, Ben was able to slowly go upstairs with Gwil's help. They still weren't using the nursery as they planned on co sleeping for the first wee while. 

"Should we let Frankie have a sniff of the baby. Just so they're both comfortable and whatnot?"

"Yes, that sounds lovely." Ben smiled and nodded, settling on the sofa. He took Malcolm into his arms, whistling for Frankie to trot over. Until then, they'd kept them separated but they would have to get used to each other. "C'mere, pup. Gotta meet your new baby brother."

Gwil stayed close. They'd never had Frankie near babies before and weren't sure how he'd react. Luckily she sniffed around, Malcolm didn't start crying or anything so it went well, "Good lass, Frankie."

Ben smiled brightly as Malcolm gently squirmed. Maybe the baby's eyes peered open to briefly look at the dog, but he stayed calm. Frankie didn't seem like a threat, and his mum and dad seemed to like him well enough too.

Gwil took a photo, Malcolm's arms appeared to be reaching out to the dog, Ben holding him close, smiling down at the pair, "We could use this for the announcement."

"Yeah, that'd be good." Ben nodded. "Something about 'Frankie's meeting her new baby brother, and we thought you should too'."

"That sounds perfect." he put it on Instagram, tagging only Ben, Roger and Brian. He logged out of his account, not really wanting to reply or deal with the notifications. He thought back to his proposal plan, he'd do it the first night when Malcolm slept in the nursery, it would be rough enough that he could prepare everything without Ben noticing.

Ben didn't care to look at his phone for now either. He knew they needed a better explanation. Some would think it was Gwil's baby from that, but there were those who'd jump to the assumption that Ben probably had a girlfriend.

In the end they were lucky, Joe commented that it was nice to not see Ben pregnant and grumpy. Obviously it was said as a joke, but it seemed to set people on the right way. 

"Well it seems well received. People are definitely taken off guard." Ben smiled at Malcolm. "But they think you're just adorable," he cooed. "Yes, baby, the most precious little love they've ever laid their eyes on."

"I have to admit, and it's not because I'm biased or anything, but he's the most gorgeous baby," he kissed Malcolm on the head, making a tiny little hand reach up to his beard, "face it, Ben. We make really good-looking kids."

"We really do." Ben kissed Gwilym's cheek. "We have the perfect little family here, and I can't wait to show this little bugger off to everyone at the premiere, not to mention any awards shows."

"We can get him a little suit, he can be the talk of the show, everyone tryna get a butcher's at him," he blew a raspberry into Malcolm's hand which was still messing with the beard "I think he likes it as much as you."

"He should." Ben smiled softly, giggling a bit at Malcolm's furrowed brows. "That's definitely the most he's ever uncoiled his hand too."

It was difficult to say it was uncoiled, more of a fist where the fingers don't touch the palm. "He's growing up fast." It didn't matter if he wasn't even a week old yet, "He'll be in his own room soon."

"But he'll still need us every two hours," Ben mused. "Hungry or wet or just desperate for attention. He's not growing too fast… though he kept his eyes open for a full ten minutes at least today."

Ben gave him a slight bounce when he started to fuss. "Oh dear," he cooed, pouting a little. "What's wrong with baby? Is it time to go back to sleep? Yes, let's do that." Ben stood up with him, walking him around the room with a sway. He hummed softly as he strolled, All Dead by Queen for now. It was gradual, but the crying calmed, and slowly Malcolm drifted off.

"Nice chirpy song to put our child to sleep with," Gwil deadpanned, but he didn't really care - Malcolm was too young to understand or be bothered and it was just humming the tune, "I can take him upstairs."

"Thanks, dear." Ben made sure Malcolm was fully asleep. He gave him a kiss on the forehead and set him carefully in Gwil's arms.

Gwil watched his step as he made his way to the nursery, mindful not to wake the little one as he gently set him in the crib, sitting down beside it and chatting to the baby whatever he could come up with.

Malcolm obviously didn't have a response. He was asleep, first of all. And he was also a baby, who didn't understand and couldn't talk back. But Malcolm seemed perfectly content and at peace, his little arms up at either side of his head as he quietly breathed, occasionally with a little infant sigh.

It was a few more weeks before Gwil got an opportunity to play out his plan. Malcolm was sleeping in the nursery, and it was still a few more days before the premier. Gwil got up early, Malcolm was fussing and needed a change, but luckily not hungry so he was able to deal with it without having to wake Ben. Gwil quickly changed his son into the onesie, humming him back to sleep before returning to bed himself. With any luck, the next time he woke up he'd be needing Ben.


	26. Chapter 26

Ben stirred away to the next bout of fussing. He could tell the cries apart by now, and judging by the timing, it was definitely time for a feed. Ben slipped out of bed, padding softly to the other room. "Alright, lovey, you're alright." Ben picked him up, then noticed the baby had changed. Huh. Maybe he'd wet through the nappy. 

"I don't remember buying this… oh." Ben had to read the text a few times. Will you marry my daddy? Was this some kind of… no, Gwil wasn't that cruel. Why would… oh.

Gwil sneaked in behind Ben, hands shaking as he opened the ring box, going down on one knee behind Ben, waiting until he turned around, holding his breath.

Ben heard his steps. He turned around, eyes closed, and then opened them with a gasp. Oh God. It was happening. "Gwil...."

"Please, Ben, would you make me the happiest man alive and do me the honour of letting me take your hand in marriage?"

"Yes. Yes, of course I will." Ben's eyes had teared up as he nodded. He let Gwil take one of his hands carefully, slipping the ring in place. Ben leaned over and kissed him softly, now silently crying. It was really happening, he was going to be Mr. Lee. 

Ben pulled back, noticing the baby still whining. He tutted softly and bounced the Malcolm gently. He'd almost forgotten why he came in. "I'm sorry, bubba," Ben cooed, rubbing his chest and stomach softly. "Mama'll fill up your tummy now, I promise."

"Good job, Mally," Gwil kissed his head while Ben was sorting out his shirt, he turned his attention to his fiance. "I love you."

"I love you too," Ben promised him, slipping the baby in place to feed. "So so much. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, Gwil.”

"I can't wait to call you mine, to just introduce you as my husband," he saw how the ring caught the light "I still can't believe you said yes."

"I couldn't say no to you." Ben shook his head. "No, but honestly, I'm so in love with you, Gwil. I think I'd have said yes months ago."

"That's funny, cause I've been planning this for months," he'd bought the ring in November, but he'd been thinking about it since just before the pregnancy came up, "just wanted the right opportunity."

"Well you executed it perfectly." Ben glanced at the baby with a soft chuckle as he vigorously suckled. "Little Malcolm called me right on cue too. He'd be a good actor I think."

"Malcolm Lee, he can play both of our characters when they remake every film in about 20 years time," Malcolm opened his eyes, perhaps he could train onto nearby objects now "his eye colour has darkened up a bit."

"Yes. Seems like they might be a nice ocean shade." Ben kissed his puffy little cheek. "Not quite dark enough to be mine, but too dark to be yours.

"He really is just a perfect mixture." He held onto the little hand, which was finally fully open, not for long though. "He'll be such a handsome flower boy."

"Oh yes." Ben smiled sweetly. "We'll flip the norms that way. Give him a little flower crown to wear and everything. A little pastel shirt, with a tiny vest and pants and shoes and everything. Mm, I can't wait to start officially planning, when we've got the time off."

"When are you thinking? Roughly." he didn't know how long an engagement Ben wanted, probably best when Malcolm was old enough that he could stay over at Brian and Roger's house while they go on a honeymoon.

"How about next Spring?" Ben mused. "We have time to adjust as a family, BoRhap finished, you have a summer of acting, then we'll have the holidays and winter to finalize the plans." Ben was thinking in terms of practicality.

"That could work, plus Bug will be less likely to cry during the ceremony," he took Malcolm into his arms again now he was finished feeding, kissing at his nose and cheeks, "I can't wait for our forever to be official."

"Me neither." Ben smiled. "Hmm...what if we both post the same picture? Take one of my ring on my hand. Your caption can be 'he said yes' and mine can be 'I said yes'? That'll clear up the speculation."

"We can do that, to be honest I was just gonna drop it at the premier," Ben's idea was better, "I guess we are going to have some strange interviews."

"Well yeah, but we got things to answer anyways." Ben looked down at Malcolm. "He sort of came out of nowhere for all of them."

"He came out of nowhere for us too in a way, I mean it's not like we were trying for a baby," Malcolm had nodded off against his chest, hand holding the collar of his shirt, "but he's the best thing to happen to me."

"I agree. Well...alongside you of course, dear." Ben smiled up at him. "I'm so glad things turned out this way. And all because of Queen. We have to find a way to thank them, somehow."

"Well…” He thought for a minute, what was big enough that it showed the enormity of what they had done for them? "If we have another kid in the future they could have a say in the name. In the meantime? Perhaps just let them in as family. You know, bug can call ‘em granny and grandpa"

"Oh, of course." Ben smiled softly. "I mean, they're already going to be the best grandparents in the world, and they've done so much. And maybe we can do something for their anniversary. It's coming up in May as it is. We can get them something nice, or give them a dinner or something.”

"We could give them a spa day, or like you said a fancy dinner," Malcolm seemed to want to be awake again, gurgling loudly. Gwil rocked him softly hoping it wouldn't turn into a full blown cry, "I'm sure we can offer to look after the hedgehogs for a bit too."

"Yes, give them a lovely little break." Roger smiled. "We can give them a little cuddle time with Malcolm too, if they're so inclined. I'm sure they'll be delighted."

"Anyone would." he bounced Malcolm on his knee, reaching out his free hand to hold Ben's "Have you prepared any for the premier?"

"Well I know what I'm going to wear." Ben smiled and looked up at him. "I've got my suit ready and all that. What about you?"

"Hadn't really thought about it, bow tie and suit," it was going to be a fancy event so he probably should just turn up in chinos. "What've you got planned for Mally then?"

"I'm gonna buy him a tiny suit too." Ben smiled. "Not a jacket, but a vest, shirt and clip on tie with slacks and itty bitty shoes. Oh, and tiny sunglasses. Shield him from the flashes."

"Probably need to get something for his hearing - it's not exactly gonna be quiet," he smiled at Ben, "We bringing a stroller? Or do you think it's best to just carry him?" he would have asked about a wrap or something like that, but there wouldn't be much point in dressing him up just to hide it.

"I think it's best we hold into him." Ben chuckled. "I'll get us a stylish diaper bag too, something black. We are gonna make this Oscars our bi… b-i-t-c-h." He was careful not to say bad words in front of the baby.

"He's unlikely to start picking up words at this stage," Gwil laughed, but he knew that over then next few years he was going to really struggle to watch his language. "We better get ready for today- Joe's arriving in London later on." they'd agreed to meet up for high tea since he still hadn't met the baby, but was too busy to stay over properly.

"Oh yeah." Ben grinned and looked at Malcolm. "You ready for a new face, bug? He's been waiting to meet you as long as I have."

"Still need to find a way to get back at him for finding out before me," Gwil scratched his chin, to be honest- it was more for the sake of laughs than anything else, "Any ideas?"

"Huh." Ben thought a minute. "Mmm...gotta find a way to fuc-fuss with his head. Maybe....we could make him think we're not together anymore. Tell him we're coparenting, but we're seeing other people. We never posted anything about being in love yet."

"Since the living room is still set up to sleep in, I can put some of my things there," it would probably take a while for Joe to notice, but he'd have to ask eventually. "Actually, whenever Rami visits, since he went snooping around too, we could just tell him you're pregnant again." They'd probably see Rami a few days after the premier, so his reaction should be comical.

"Oh Jesus." Ben snorted. "He'd go mental. That's brilliant, babe. We're gonna make them regret it."

Gwil grinned, gently putting Malcolm back in his crib to get on with the master plan. He made the sofa look like it had been slept in, putting a suitcase full of his stuff next to it, with a small lamp, book and his phone charger on top of it, making it act like a makeshift nightstand. He added some post-it notes to make it look like they weren't working together enough to just speak to each other, 

"Anything else? I picked up a real estate magazine that came in the post, left it lying around to make it look as if it's an option."

"I think we've done it." Ben smiled and nodded. "We need to be...polite, but just putting up with each other. And I'll sort of tote the baby around, reluctantly giving him for cuddles. This is gonna work."

Gwil grinned, giving Ben a quick kiss as the doorbell rang. He nodded for Ben to go on ahead. He held Malcolm close as he heard Ben greeting Joe, welcoming him in, the pair appearing in the living room as Ben reached to get Bug coldly (gently). "Hey, mate."

"Yeah, been a while, hasn't it?" Ben gently tugged the baby into his arms, smiling at him, and then at Joe. "C'mere and meet my new little prince. Say hi to Joe, Malcolm." He bounced him a little, the baby looking up at Joe curiously from Ben's arms.

"Aw, what a little sweetheart." Joe smiled. "Definitely looks like his mama."

"Yeah, he bloody should, I did all the hard work." Ben replied, a little bit of an edge to it.

"Not that I'll ever hear the ruddy end of it," he said plainly. Ben never complained, and if he did Gwil would go out of his way to listen, but playing this game was too fun not to over-egg it. He quickly shifted the things from beside the sofa so they could sit down on it, but chose to sit on the armchair himself, Ben taking the furthest point on the couch, leaving Joe in the middle. "Looks like Mally's taken a liking to you, Joey."

"Yeah, he is a cutie." Joe did think it was… sort of weird that they weren't, like, cuddled up to each other. They seemed totally velcro through everything they'd been through. "Can I hold him?"

"Sure, sure." Ben smiled and settled the baby in his arms. "There. You're a natural."

Malcolm reached out to Joe's face, looking at the new character that had been introduced to him. "I'll go put the kettle on. Tea or coffee?" he started clearing some objects from the table in front of them, dumping them on the suitcase. He made sure to not look at Ben.

"Coffee, if you can," Joe replied. 

"Tea, obviously." Ben crossed his arms. "Can't be on caffeine with the baby feeding."

"I know that, I was asking our guest," he snapped quietly, walking into the kitchen without looking back. A few minutes later he brought out the drinks and some biscuits, seeing that Malcolm was back in Ben's arms and fussing - he'd been fed already so it wasn't hunger, "Did you feed him before?"

"Of course I did." Ben bounced him gently. "You think I wouldn't be feeding him if he was?" 

Joe took his coffee, staying quiet. He must've caught them on a bad day or something. Parenting could be stressful, he knew.

Gwil clenched his jaw, trying not to laugh- but to Joe it came off as frustration. He took a deep breath, looking at Joe as if Ben hadn't spoken "So, excited for the premier?" Malcolm was still fussing louder- he probably needed a change. Gwil continued to ignore Ben as he tried to calm him.

"Oh yeah, definitely." Joe smiled. “I mean, a premiere at the SSE Arena? That's sort of fucking insane. Jurassic Park could only dream of it.”

"Well, since I seem to be a bit on my own here, I'm gonna go take care of my son." Ben walked upstairs, glaring at Gwil before walking up to the nursery. He was back to his cooing usual self as he changed Malcolm sweetly.

Joe was left dumbfounded, silent as he watched that display of... dislike? "Ignore him, he's just being a bit of a twat." A door was slammed upstairs - the baby monitor was two way so he'd heard what was said. "It'll be easier when Malcolm gets a bit older."

"Well...I mean, yeah. I guess he'll let you two get some sleep, so maybe he'll be a bit less...tired." Joe really wasn't feeling this whole scene. Seemed...wrong.

"That and he can go between houses easier when he's bigger," Ben was making his way back down the stairs, Malcolm seemed happy again - and Gwil noticed this must've been the longest he's been awake for, "Might I please take my son for a bit?" He made it sarcastic as if he didn't mean the 'please'.

"I think he's quite comfortable with mama right now." Ben sat back next to Joe. "Here, Joe, he's more agreeable now. And he likes it when you play with his little toes quite a bit."

"Sure, yeah...back and forth between houses?" Joe looked over. "Uh...are you guys getting a second home?"

"Something like that - I'll be closer to the centre," he didn't give a direct answer, wanting to draw it out, waiting to find a good hook to start an 'argument' with, "If that's far enough for Ben."

"As long as I don't run into you in the damn grocery store." Ben shook his head, trying to stay focused on the baby for now and ignore him.

"Seriously, what is happening here?" Joe looked around. "Did you fight?"

Gwil ignored Joe, leaning forward to speak directly to Ben "You know you can't bloody avoid me all the time," he spoke harshly "I still want a part in Malcolm's life. He's my son too. Or do you not want him to grow up knowing his dad?"

"Is this about what I want now?" Ben replied. "Because I thought this was about Malcolm, not me. I know we need to get this settled, but you don't get to be a twat in the meantime."

"Hardly being a twat when you barely let me near my own flesh and blood - Jesus, I had to wait next door during the birth," Gwil watched Joe gaping, continually trying to say something but cut himself off. "Fuck this," he said it quietly, getting up off the chair, "I'm gonna run lines."

"Yeah, have fun being off the whole summer without us." Ben held Malcolm close, soothing him softly. The little one was not a fan of the negativity and started to fuss a bit. "Hush, now. Let's let Gwilym go have some air, before we take him to get a DNA test for you. Maybe we don't even have to worry about him being your papa."

Joe finally found his words, not seeing Gwil hiding behind the door, "What the fuck Ben? What do you mean DNA test?" No. There was no way Ben had cheated. Was there? Is that why they were secretive at the beginning and why he said he didn't know about being a carrier. "Please tell me that kid's Gwil's"

"You know the first time we just fucked on the sofa and I didn't even tell him, don't you?" Ben shook his head. "Maybe he wasn't the only one. Or maybe I didn't sleep with him. Maybe I just wished I did, at the time.'

That all made sense. Or did it make no sense? "This isn't right! You love Gwil... Is that why you didn't tell him until you were three months along?"

"Yeah, maybe. Probably also why I rejected his proposal." Ben shook his head "I thought I could do this for Malcolm, but I can't effing stand him any more."

Joe sat there, eyes wide - Gwil had been so excited to be a father, and Ben had been so in love. "Does he know Malcolm isn't his?" 

Gwil chose then to reappear into the room. "What?"

"You heard him." Ben grimaced, shifting whining Malcolm in his arms. "I'm taking you in for a test tomorrow, just to be sure.”

Gwil let tears run down his face- thank God he was an actor or he'd be laughing by now, "You bloody lied to me? After everything I've done for you? Both of you."

"Fucking piss off," Ben snarled. "I had things under control, me and Frankie. You were a temporary convenience."

"And you were just an easy fuck, pathetic slag," he walked closer, so he was next to the sofa, "I bet you don't even know who the fucking bastard's father is." it killed him inside to call his son that, but they were at the breaking point of the prank, just a little further...

"Well I couldn't give you my best, could I?" Ben stood up. "Just get out of here. Leave me and my son alone. Now." 

Joe was absolutely horrified. He didn't see any of this coming, any of it.

"I don't fucking need you, I don't give a damn about either of you. Just one more thing," he came closer yet, keeping his tone angry and slightly raised - even if he could hear Malcolm getting uncomfortable and he desperately wanted to hold him, "Don't you think we should tell him?" he snarled.

"Yeah. Guess we should." Ben looked at Joe. "But he might not believe us at this point."

Gwil finally cracked, smiling as Joe grew more and more confused. He reached out for Malcolm's hand, "Joe, you're a right nonce, you know that? Like, an actual mug."

"What!?" Joe was absolutely lost. "What the actual hell is happening? What did you just do?" 

"We fooled you, didn't we?" Ben hushed Malcolm softly, giving him a tender kiss and passing him up to Gwil.

Gwil held Malcolm close, inhaling his smell as he laughed at Joe - who looked part of the way through a breakdown. "None of that was real. Also we're engaged."

"I...you did...Jesus, dude." Joe ran a hand through his hair. "That was a rollercoaster. You guys both get an Oscar." 

"Thanks, Joe," Ben chuckled, rubbing Malcolm's foot reassuringly. The infant was calming down too.

Gwil smiled at him, Malcolm must've got tired of the commotion, snuggling in against him, "Don't worry baby, daddy's right here."

"So Malcolm is one hundred percent Gwil's?" Joe clarified.

"Yes, absolutely." Ben nodded. "That was all a complete act, just to get at you." 

"I didn't deserve that," Joe huffed.

"Yes you did. You went snooping around and found out before anyone was ready to tell you," he spoke quietly, realising Bug had fallen asleep on him. No wonder with all the drama going on. "Anyway: it was funny."

"Yes. Now..." Ben poured himself a bit of the tea. "...we can have a nice visit, alright?"

"I was only trying to help when I poked around back then," Joe insisted.

"That's okay," he wasn't annoyed or anything: just a friendly jibe. "Although now that's over we can announce the engagement to the public- let some of the steam out before the premier." He kissed Malcolm's nose when he fussed in his sleep, calming him down. It was then that Joe started to see bits of Gwil's traits in the baby, not just Ben.

"Well...that is great, yeah." Joe nodded and picked up a cookie from the table. "Congrats, you guys."

"Thanks, Joe." Ben smiled and nodded. "You're definitely one in a million, pleasure to know you."

"He's right, you took that like a champ. I bet you'll be Malcolm's favourite uncle," he carefully reached out to put a hand on Joe's shoulder. "And it's not just you, Rami's in for some mischief as well."

"Oh God." Joe shook his head. "I feel sorry for him after how I was just traumatized."

"He's got another thing coming," Ben assured Joe, looking back at sleeping Malcolm. He couldn't help staring at the little guy… he was too lovely for words.

Gwil let Ben take back Malcolm, seeing that he needed some cuddles from the little thing. He kissed them both on the forehead, smiling as he looked at his family. "Hard to tell how he will react to anything, actually."

"That's true." Ben gently rubbed Malcolm's back, letting the baby nestle in as he planted little kisses on his feather soft baby hair. "We'll make it up to him when he gets to hold this little bean. He makes everything worth it."

"He is very precious, quite a big baby though," Joe said, he had expected a newborn to be very small. "I've never seen the two of you like this."

"Being a parent… does stuff to you." Ben looked over at Joe. "You get quite soft and cuddly, all you want to do is hold him and kiss him and tell him you love him. It's quite nice."

"Best feeling in the world," he thought about the scenario that they'd created during the joke, "even if Malcolm wasn't mine, I'd still be here."

"Aw, Gwil." Ben leaned up and gave him a little kiss. "You really are incredible. I love you so much."

"I love you too, darling," instead of moving back to the armchair, he remained perched on the sofa arm behind Ben, half hugging him from behind. He laughed when Joe made retching noises.

"How did I even fall for the idea you'd broken up?"

"You must've been quite jetlagged, mate." Ben smiled and looked over at him. "Trust me. This is gonna last, Joey."

"You two are just too much, you know that," he smiled at them, happy that they found each other. " Whatever you do to Rami better be as bad as mine."

"Oh, we're not gonna give him a break...in fact, we should tell you, you can be in on it so you can give us a better reaction." Ben grinned. "We're gonna make him believe that I'm pregnant again."

"We could tell him it's twins or something this time," What else could make him panic? Gwil thought for a second, "we could act up like we're not planning anything, you know: sort of like teenagers that haven't thought anything through."

"I'll act really ill," Ben mused. "Like, I know I was miserable before, but I'll act as if it's even worse this time. And that I'm definitely not ready, we've got Malcolm to tend to."

"Would that work? I mean he'd see you at the premier looking fine then a few days later ill," Gwil tried to think of a way round it, "Unless you say it's lucky you're okay to attend the premier: make it look like a one off."

"Yeah, yeah." Ben nodded and smiled. "We'll really set it up, over a few days then. It'll work out swimmingly.'


	27. Chapter 27

Joe ended up staying for a while longer, getting to hold Malcolm again once he woke up for a feed. He left for his hotel, promising to see them at the premier, and meet again as soon as possible. They waved him off when the Uber came and collected him. 

"I think that went well, arguing was kinda fun when you know it's just banter."

"Oh yes, certainly." Ben smiled and nodded. "And we really are brilliant actors. We even fooled Joe, he's been in this business for ages."

"I couldn't imagine being like that in real life," he held Ben into his side, resting his chin on the blond hair. "It would kill me to leave you and Malcolm."

"Yeah, me and M need you here," Ben agreed. "Having you in the other room during the birth? Not a chance."

"I thought I was gonna get caught with that particular tid bit," they walked still wrapped in each others arms, "Not that you would cheat on me either."

Ben shook his head. "Never in a million years," he promised, kissing his lips softly.

Gwil deepened the kiss, before pulling away. They spent the rest of the day on the sofa with Malcolm, taking advantage of the duvet that was still there. Over the next while before the premier, Gwil and Ben put out the engagement post and got themselves ready.

Ben could hardly wait. He loved seeing people's reactions in the comments especially Brian's. He and Roger called them immediately, congratulating them and wondering about the date and details. Ben promised to keep them up to date, and he'd see them at the premiere. 

***

"Alright… how do I look, babe?" Ben walked out of the room, his tailored black suit fitting him to the tee. He hadn't retained too much baby weight to begin with and nothing was showing through the outfit anyways. In his arms was Malcolm, also dressed in his little suit, missing nothing but the shades and earplugs (they'd put those in later).

"I... You're gorgeous. Absolutely beautiful," Gwil had the nappy bag sorted, having put his own suit on and was currently faffing with the bow tie, "Bug looks rather darling in his little suit."

"Doesn't he?" Ben comes with a smile. "Our little man. All ready to be a superstar. He's just fallen asleep and all, fed and changed."

"Well it's his film as well, since he technically was in half of it," Ben had been pregnant for the second half of the shoot- so Malcolm was very much a part of the film in that respect, "Can you help me with this tie love?"

"Of course. Here, take Malcolm." Ben set the baby in Gwil's arms, and went about fixing the tie. "I'm surprised you can't do this. You're always dressing nicely."

"Never been good with ties. I think I got someone else to do my school tie and didn't undo it in the entire six years I had it," Gwil pecked Ben's forehead after he was done, "Thank you."

"No problem, lovey." Ben smiled back at Malcolm. "Ready for the red carpet, bubba?" he cooed, nuzzling his cheek gently with his nose. The baby was still sleepy, simply stretching his arms in response.

"I hope he is, the car's arriving in ten minutes," He doubted checked everything as they waited for the car that would take them to just outside the red carpet, "Ready?"

"Ready." Ben stayed close to Gwil as he could as they walked along. He got into the car with him, and stayed close to relax his way through the drive. He kept a hold on the baby's hand, who was secured in his carseat. It was quite cute, and the sunglasses on his face added to his sleepy pout in the best way

The car stopped, Gwil put his hand on top of Ben's that was holding the baby's with the ring on, looking straight into the green eyes he'd fallen in love with. "I'm right beside you." They kissed quickly, Gwil squeezed his hand gently in reassurance before helping unclip Malcolm and getting out of the car. He went round the other side to open the door for Ben, taking Malcolm from him while he got out himself. He could hear the commotion behind him as the press saw their arrival.

Ben smiled for the cameras easily, Malcolm in his arms. He waved one of his tiny hands to the camera as they walked. It was really a sight; Ben holding the infant and Gwil with the diaper bag over his shoulder. They were definitely the most unique people on the carpet, and possibly the most stylish.

One reporter stopped them at a quieter area, "Can you tell us a bit about this little one? Just to set the rumours straight."

"Well, this is Malcolm." Ben smiled and adjusted him gently. "He's just about six weeks old, and he's me and Gwil's. I took the press tour off because I was getting too heavily pregnant for all the travelling. But he was a home birth, natural in water, with Gwilym there, as well as Bri and Rog. They're basically the little guy's grandparents."

"That is extraordinary..." The reporter kept chatting to them for a bit, Gwil told him about the engagement and their future plans (at least the ones they'd agreed to tell the public about), and they ended up talking about the main event and Queen, "Obviously Roger received plenty of backlash for his pregnancies, have you had any of the same criticisms?"

"Not really." Ben shook his head. "People have hardly caught onto it. It's really a much better time as well. I mean, obviously it was a much more straight norm, homophobic environment, but now gay marriage is legal and carriers are much more integrated. I think there'll always be some backlash, but we've definitely got it easier."

"I must say it's a lovely story and fitting for the film, real method acting," he joked, leaving them politely to talk to Allen.

Rami appeared at that moment, "So this is Bug?"

"This is Bug." Ben smiled sweetly and nodded. He shifted him gently, showing up his bespectacled baby. He was napping currently, calmly nestled against his mother's chest. "Lovely, isn't he Uncle Rami?"

"He's very cute, looks like both of you actually," Rami stoked the baby's cheek, "Glad to be an uncle."

"Glad our children have brilliant uncles like you and Joe." Gwil said, purposely using children instead of child- planting the idea.

"Mmhmm." Ben shifted a little. "Babe, I'm gonna head inside and find a toilet. Can you come along and take Malcolm? He'll probably be needing a diaper sooner than later.'

Gwil took Malcolm from his fiance, keeping him close to his chest knowing that he was still asleep, "We'll follow you in soon," there was still time before the film was played and a few more people to meet. He turned to Rami "Once he's woken up a bit he'll be happy to be held by his uncle."

"Sounds great." Rami looked towards some reporters. "I'll go keep them busy. Head inside. Oh, uh...nice diaper bag, by the way."

Gwil nodded and headed in with Bug, taking him in to change his nappy. By the time he left he'd found Ben, chatting to a few folk, "Here you are Mally, come say hi to mama."

"There's mummy's baby boy," Ben cooed, taking the little guy back into his arms. He bounced him slightly, showing him off to the others. "My little Malcolm. He's just the sweetest, isn't he?" He nuzzled the baby's head softly with his nose.

"Woke up a while back," he played with the baby's foot, finding the little shoes Ben bought adorable, "I think he likes the attention."

"He certainly does." Ben rubbed his chest softly. "Yes, you like your cuddles and kisses, and all the compliments too, don't you, Bug?" Malcolm did seem quite pleased with the whole thing. He wasn't quite smiling, yet, but he had a happy, amused little expression. He certainly liked all the happy people cooing at him.

Even when they were asked to go inside for the film, everyone was cooing at the baby, passing him around the cast (Brian and Roger included). "Can't believe it's been so long since we started the project."

"I know...it's all culminating and it's crazy." Ben looked up at him. "It's been so long since we first got a glimpse of each other when we went in for our audition."

"I haven't stopped thinking about you since," he put his hand on the small of Ben's back, "That audition didn't just win me a job. It got me a family."

"Yes. More than I ever could've dreamed of." Ben leaned on him gently, watching Malcolm be cuddled and cooed at by everyone on the team. It was really quite precious. "I think he wins the night to be honest."

"Hundred percent, little bugger has stolen the show," he pulled them out of the cameras, knowing that the photo of them hugging their child would make the news the next day. "Let's watch our hard work, eh?"

"Agreed." Ben had taken Malcolm back now. "Shall we go find our seats? We've got a premiere to attend after all is said and done."

They'd been given seats near an exit, so if Malcolm did start to cry they could step out at any time. Luckily that didn't happen, and by the interval he was asleep again, "I think Rami and Joe are coming: we can drop a few more hints."

"Oh yes." Ben smiled. He had Malcolm's pacifier in his mouth, the little one contently suckling away as he rested in his mother's arms. 

"How's the little family enjoying their first big outing?" Joe asked, walking over and taking Malcolm's hand gently.

"We this little one's considering an acting career, I can see it in his eyes." Gwil very lightly pinched Malcolm's cheek. "Not sure how the rest of the family is getting on. Tired?" He looked to Ben.

"Fairly." Ben glanced down at himself. "A bit sore to be honest, and getting a bit peckish. Should probably find something with protein to nibble for our sake."

Rami frowned, Ben must've meant the protein for feeding the baby. Odd way of putting it though. "Me and Joe can go get something, don't worry yourself too much, not when you..." He cut himself off, nodding curtly and heading off to get a few plates of the snacks that were being taken to tables. They also got some fruit juice and water to replace the champagne they weren't drinking.

Ben still wasn't drinking alcohol for the baby's sake actually. Yes, beer helps produce breast milk, but since he was off the stuff, he hadn't had a drink yet and he didn't mind it. He may very well be off it all together. 

”'So, uh...how are things with Lucy, Ram?" Ben asked with a little smile. "Thinking about babies yet?'

"I don't know Ben, still early days. Although I have to admit Malcolm is giving everyone baby fever," he smiled at the baby, "We've planned that sort of thing for a few years when we're not too busy."

"So you've thought about it at least." Ben smiled and looked down. "Yeah, me and Gwil best be more careful. We'll have a football team in a decade if we're not.'

"I'm sure Bug would love to be a big brother at some point," Ben was acting as if he already had a few kids, but Rami passed it off: they all knew bug wasn't planned, he must be talking about that. "You're both great parents."

"Thanks. We certainly try anyway." Ben shifted a bit. "You wanna give little Malcolm a hold? I'm sure he'd like a cuddle from his uncle Rami."

Rami nodded, reaching across and carefully taking the infant into his arms, bouncing lightly as two big blue eyes stared up at him, "Who's a cutie? You're a cutie, you are. Ben he's so adorable."

"Isn't he?" Ben smiled and sat back a bit. One hand went to his stomach, thumb brushing softly. He did that constantly when he was pregnant, or playing a pregnant Roger, even if it wasn't mentioned in the scene. "And his eyes are the blend of mine and Gwil's. Isn't that something?'

"His whole face is actually," everything seemed to end up in the middle. Even the pout, which looked like Ben's at first, was slightly thinner on the top lip like his dad. Or his eye shape which was more Gwil, was too rounded to be just his. "You feeling alright?"

"Stomach's a little touchy, but I'm okay." Ben nodded and sat back a bit more. "Just tough on the body, the whole baby ordeal, you know? It takes a lot of time to adjust." That was subtle enough to be a hint but could also just be about recovering from the current little one.

Rami nodded- baby resting against him still, confused as to why he was still in pain from the birth. But then again 6 weeks wasn't too long. Gwil and Joe came back with the food, the Welshman handing Ben a glass "Couldn't find that sparkling water you liked last time, I thought sprite might do."

"Sprite is fine." Ben smiled a little, giving him a kiss on the cheek as he took the glass. "Anything to settle my stomach at this point. It's really the fizz."

In reality, Gwil just knew Ben liked sprite, but people did use it when they were ill. He sat down again as the film started, quickly rubbing Ben's belly, which Rami didn't miss.

Ben smiled softly, leaning on him a bit. "Here we go again," he said under his breath, just to keep the idea up.

Gwil kissed his temple, watching the second half of the film. After a while Malcolm seemed to miss his parents and started fussing, so he was handed back to them. "You two have to come over for a catch up. It's been ages since the last band night and there probably won't be as many now."

"Yes, definitely." Ben gently bounced Malcolm. "Are you available tomorrow? We can get movies and snacks and all that. Joe's seems like the place, but you haven't yet, Rami."

"I'd love to. Lucy's at her parents so I've got nothing to do." It had been a long time, but of course it was going to get harder now half the band lived in different continents. That must've been what Gwil was referring to. Gwil nodded, Malcolm was trying to get at his beard again, "I'm sure in a few years time when everyone has a bunch of little buggers we can have a week long film night."

"Oh yeah, that'll be a blast." Ben smiled softly and nodded. That would be nice honestly. He'd actually want to be pregnant again/have another child in a few years. For now, this was fine.

"Then it's settled. Tomorrow night." Joe patted Gwil's shoulder. "I hope you're ready for a wild time.”

"I look forward to it." There wasn't a huge amount to do after the film. Most of the interviews were done and it was getting late. 

Malcolm was cranky and wanted a feed, so the car journey home was taken up by settling the baby. They went to bed tired, waking up in time to set up the living room for their guests.

"Alright." Ben straightened up a bit, adjusting the band of his stretch top jeans. They were still comfortable for him, having retained just a bit of weight from the pregnancy, and they'd help with the facade. "We're really gonna get Rami today. We set him off a bit yesterday, I think, but it's really gonna culminate now. I can't wait to see the look on his face."

"We'll say you're only a couple of weeks along, he'll hopefully take a while to register that you can't get pregnant that soon after having a baby. Are we going to do it like an announcement?"

"Hm...what if I haven't told you yet either?" Ben asked, looking up at him. "What if I just sort of hint to it and then it clicks and I say that I am pregnant again?"

"That works," he grinned, Rami was going to kill them both, but it would be worth it, "anything else we can do? It's still not as bad as what we did to Joe."

"Maybe you're absolutely not ready, and I thought you might be happy, so you ask me to seriously consider an abortion." Ben could absolutely never never get one, he'd love any and all babies he had to death despite inconvenience. "And I'll be completely broken hearted about it.'

"We could do it in the kitchen, so him and Joe can hear us arguing without being able to get out," he was willing to go with it. He wasn't against people having an abortion, but if it was his child he would try argue to keep it. If Ben hadn't wanted Malcolm he would have offered in a heartbeat to be a single father. He wouldn't have forced his Ben to keep the baby, but he'd have tried.

"Alright, sounds like a plan." Ben smiled and nodded. He'd just hint at it until Gwil got the picture, then they'd go to have a private word in the kitchen. Plan, ready to set in motion.

The four of them were halfway through watching Ratatouille, Malcolm was napping in the nursery (they had the baby monitor on full volume to hear it over the film if something happened).

"You okay, babe?" He asked Ben who'd just come back from the bathroom.

"Yeah. Just been… well, a bit touchy lately." Ben sat beside him again. "Nothing unusual," he added, leaning on Gwil's side. He hand moved to rest on his belly again, glancing down with a slight lip bite through his smile.

"That's okay. Just say if you don't feel well or anything like that," he made sure to not look at Ben's stomach. But he did see Joe glance, which caused Rami to do so as well. They continued chatting and watching the film, knowing full well that Rami was starting to fall for it.

Ben clung to Gwil gently, much as he had when he was pregnant. He was hardly watching the film, more cozied up to him. "Malcolm...I still sort of feel odd not being pregnant with him, you know?" he mused. "His little flutters, kicks and swirls...it feels like ages sometimes."

"A few years down the line we can think about it again," that wasn't really a lie, when Malcolm was old enough to be a bit more self reliant they were planning on having another one. But he needed to give a strong reason for the sake of the trick, "We can plan it for later, when I'm not working and am actually in the country."

"But… I mean… if something happened sooner, just by accident," he said softly, glancing down again. "You wouldn't be upset, would you? I mean, Malcolm was a bit soon, but look how lovely he is."

"Hypothetically speaking, we could deal with it financially. But I'm going to be away for the next few months so I couldn't help you at all. Also that much stress won't be good on our relationship," Rami knew that he was doing some work, but not any of the details. He sat up and looked at Ben, "This is only hypothetical, yeah?"

"...yes?" Ben was definitely not sure about that. Joe looked confused. He looked Ben over, gasping a little and covering his mouth.

"'Yes' what? 'yes' this is only hypothetical or..." Gwil sat up, looking at Ben who only smiled in response. He looked shocked for a second, before looking frustrated, "fuck sake."

"We… need a minute." Ben stood up, grabbing his hand and tugging him off to the kitchen. 

"Oh… they're… oh my God, Rami." Joe looked at him, playing his part well.

Rami stayed quiet for a second. He would have thought Gwil would be happy about it. "I don't know if we should be listening to this." 

Gwil took a stance next to the door, just incase one of them looked in "What the fuck?! What sort of a cunt drops that sort of news?" He yelled.

"Are you joking?" Ben sounded a lot more wavering, but firm. "Your fault for fucking me so soon after I'd popped the baby out. I didn't think it was possible.'

"So this is my fault? I wouldn't have fucked you if you hadn't been so desperate," he snapped back.

"Oh don't be ridiculous, I was exhausted and sore. You said you'd give me a massage, a massage, and then you just lost it." Ben crossed his arms. "You want me to have a damn miscarriage or something? Be sensitive to this."

"That would be a great solution to it." He practically growled, hearing shuffling from the living room as Joe pulled Rami closer to the door to listen better.

"This is bad," Joe mouthed, shaking his head. 

"How can you even say that?" Ben whisper shouted, then went back to a more normal volume. "How could you… even THINK that? Do you understand what that would do to me?"

"Of course I understand. But don't you see," Gwil spoke softer, "We can't do this. It's too soon. I don't really want another kid, and we're too busy as it is. You know that. It's better if we just... Deal with it."

"You… You want me to terminate the pregnancy?" Ben said slowly. Unbelievable. "No. Absolutely not."

"Ben, for God's sake, think about it. We aren't in the right place for it. That child wouldn't have a good life and Malcolm's would go down hill as well." Gwil spoke low, just enough for everyone to hear, "I can't love that child. It'd barely fucking know me, and would tear us apart. I can't do it."

"You...You couldn't love your own baby?" Ben's lip quiver as his eyes filled with tears. "What if we had had twins? Would you not have had enough love for them either? Or how about Malcolm? Filming all over in the earliest stages of his brain development. Not enough?"

"If it had been twins it would have been different. And this isn't about Malcolm. I was there for the important stages, which is more than I needed to be at."

Ben crossed his arms. "It's your family, all of it. You're here or you're not. You don't get to pick and choose which kids you want to be with.'

"That's the point of aborting," he stood his ground, "I'm practically not going to be here for the next year. I missed most of your last pregnancy and I can't do that again. The divide between me and you two is bad enough without adding more fucking children to the mix."

"My decision is final. I'm not getting rid of the baby." Ben shook his head. "You can leave if you're not feeling up to the task."

"What? You're going to raise two children by yourself?" Gwil laughed bitterly, but he could hear Malcolm start to cry upstairs, which was bound to happen. "Fine then. It's your own fault."

"Yeah, I guess it is. So I'll start now. And you be gone when I come back." Ben stalked out of the kitchen, going quickly past Joe and Rami and upstairs to tend to Malcolm.

"I… I don't even know what to say." Joe leaned on the wall, looking at Rami.

"Alright, but don't come running to me for help when you fuck it up! Cause I won't be there, for either you or Malcolm." He yelled after him, snatching his coat and phone and slamming the door behind him. They had talked about it before, so he'd left his keys and money in his pocket and drove off to the shops to get some snacks. 

Rami looked at Joe, both of them running up to the nursery, "Ben?"

Ben was sitting in the rocking chair. He had Malcolm in his arms, tears slipping down his cheeks as the baby nursed under a sheet. "I never expected this," he sniffed, shaking his head. "It...it hurts much more than I thought it would."

Joe came forward, "He might come round to it after some thought. You remember how he was the first time. No one saw him for days."

Ben shook his head, looking back at Malcolm. "I should've known. Of course he wasn't ready...I'm not ready. But I can't hurt my bubba."

"We'll stay with you for a while longer," Rami offered, still not fully computing what just happened "What if it is twins? Ben how're you going to manage 3 kids?"

"I have no idea, please don't make me think about that." Ben closed his eyes, shaking his head. "Please, just… I-I have to be able to do this on my own.”

"So Gwil's really out the picture then." Rami was really confused now, they'd been going so well, "Won't he come back for Malcolm?"

"He better not. Won't let him." Ben shifted the baby gently. "I should've known to hold off on his last name."

"You did say you had reservations about it," Joe added, pretending he had some insight into it all, "With how much he missed during the last pregnancy and all. I doubt he'll ask for every other weekend or anything."

"Yeah..." Ben sniffed and rubbed his eyes a little. "I'm sorry...it just...I'm so upset." 

"This is just… horrible." Rami shook his head. "What are Brian and Roger gonna think? I mean… I'm sure they'll be here to help and all.'

"Roger'll cunt him. Not sure about Brian: he always liked Gwil," Joe knew Gwil would never, but if he did- who knows what Brian would do. "What're you going to do when they grow up and start asking about their dad? What if they want to meet him?"

"I'm sure they'll have seen it all in the press by then...we'll get there when we get there." Ben looked up. "I have to focus on calming down right now. I feel so sick over all this, I don't want the baby to get hurt.'

"I'll go get a glass of water for you," Rami went downstairs before anyone could stop him. Joe looked at Ben, "Is there anywhere else you're going with it, or we break it to him soon?"

Ben shook his head. "I just feel bad now. We should probably tell him."

ame back up with some water, frantically checking over Ben to make sure he was alright, "Hey, buddy..." Joe started, turning to Ben so finish it off.

"This...we have something to admit." Ben looked up at him

"Ben? What is it? Oh God it's his isn't it?" Rami's eyes widened.

"No, no, no." Ben held a hand up. "I'm… not pregnant."

"So you broke up with Gwil for nothing then?" Rami shook his head, he was relieved there wasn't a baby caught in the middle of it all, but that break up was heartless

"No, no!" Ben chuckled a little. "We were pulling the wool over you. He was in on it. We were acting."

"Oh... Thank fuck." He put his hand up to his heart, "you three are something else. Actually it gave me a heart attack. So none of that happened? You're still together and happy?"

"Yes, yes, Gwil is just buying snacks." Ben shook his head. "I'm really sorry, Rami. I just feel horrible."

"It's cool, actually kinda funny," he smiled, "I'll laugh about it afterwards. After I've got you back for it. Only one who's safe is Malcolm."

"Hey, this was us getting you back for snooping in my trailer and finding out about Malcolm before Gwilym did." Ben crossed his arms. "Rude, you know."

"In fairness, that was mostly Joe," he gestured to the other American in the room, "And he seems to have got away with that." he pretended to be annoyed.

"Oh, we got him first." Ben grinned. "When he first visited, we made him think we had broken up and were fighting over Malcolm. Even convinced him that the baby wasn't Gwil's. You should've seen his face.”

"They were screaming at each other about DNA tests and cheating- I felt like a little kid. Of course I was shocked." Joe defended.

"Okay that would've been worse," Rami decided.

"Really? Huh?" Ben nodded. "Good to know. Won’t be trying it again." He tugged Malcolm out to burp him, wiping the leftover dribbles of milk from his pouty lips as he whined.

"Nah, you got us both good and proper," Joe reassured him. In a strange way he had enjoyed being tricked. "If Bug's awake he can join us for some of the films."

"Yes, he won't want to leave Mummy now," Ben drawled in his baby voice. "No, no. He needs his cuddles, doesn't he, Emmy?" He stood up, gently bouncing and patting Malcolm's back as the infant softy fussed, kicking his tiny legs.

"It's kinda cute you call him Emmy and Gwil calls him Mally," Rami pointed out, cooing over the baby. Well this was only making his baby fever worse. "Shouldn't Gwil have been back by now?"

"Yeah… I wonder what's kept him." Ben glanced at his phone on the table. "No missed calls or messages… odd. I hope he's not stuck in a jam."

"Traffic's always bad in London," Joe pointed out, but it had been a good half hour too long. He looked at the baby in order to change the subject. "He might look like a mix, but he acts like you."

"You think so?" Ben chuckled softly. "Yes, supposed he has my cling, and my pouty lips. We both just want to be held, really."

"Yeah, if he was like Gwil he'd be really calm until he got excited about something then he wouldn't stop." Joe had the feeling that that was exactly how Malcolm would end up in the future though, even if he wasn't at the moment.

"Well he has a few excitable moments, when he realizes he has something to be excited about." Ben got Malcolm to burp, then set him on the bed. "Here, you wanna see? It's actually really funny when he gets excited."

"Sure," They both answered simultaneously, curious as to what could get a baby that young excited.

"Okay, watch." Ben sat on the bed, smiling down at him. He wasn't exactly tickling him, but his fingers quickly ran up and down Malcolm's sides as he cooed to him softly. Malcolm's eyes lit up, and his little arms moved up and down a bit, sort of as if he was making a snow angel. He rubbed his legs together a bit too as Ben continued to play with him, making soft, infantile gurgles and excited sighs that were almost laughter.

Joe filmed it quickly on his phone, sending it to the big group chat so that Brian and Roger could see it too. "Your entire family is just too sweet for me."

"Isn't he just precious?" Ben kissed all over his face, evoking a little smirk from the baby, not quite a full smile. "He's like a little cricket when his legs shuffle like that."

"Now I really want one," Rami said, looking at the baby, "I'm happy to babysit. Might help convince Lucy."

"I'll let you know. He's a bit too young to be left alone yet, from us...well, I feel that way." Ben shook his head. "Sometime. You can hold him now, though.'

Rami took the baby back, bouncing him lightly, "Hello, buddy. Yeah, you like uncle Rami more than uncle Joe, don't you? Oh yes you do." He made silly faces at the baby, earning a squeal.

"That's not fair, making him choose when he can't actually judge you yet." Ben headed downstairs, calling Gwil's cell as he did. Hopefully he had it connected to the car at this point.

Gwil had driven down the road, stopping in the busy junction to get out. He hadn't even started to move again when the other car came round the corner too fast. His car had flipped. He had been in and out of consciousness by the time the sirens came, completely out by the time they had loaded him in, he never heard the phone ring.


	28. Chapter 28

Ben was getting a little nervous after an hour. He decided he might as well leave the message, because that'd keep the phone ringing just a bit longer. 

"Gwil? Babe, I'm just calling to see if you're on your way back. Are you in traffic? I'll look it up, see what the aerial is… I'm sorry I'm rambling, I'm just worried about you… call me back if you can... love you." He hung up, but his stomach was queasy with nerves. 

Something felt wrong.

Joe went down stairs, leaving Rami playing with the baby and some teddy he'd found. He saw Ben going through his phone, "everything alright?"

"He's not picking up… I'm getting nervous." Ben sat down, going into local traffic on his phone. There had to be something. "Oh, a car turned over… OUR car!" Ben's heart started racing. Oh God. That was THEIR car. He knew the license plate, and the carseat had fallen out a window. There weren't really pictures of anything but the medics, but Gwil had to be there. "No… no, no, please, no." Ben covered his mouth, his eyes tearing up.

"Shit, Ben. Calm down, it's never as bad as it looks," he knew that wasn't true - sometimes the car was fine and the passengers weren’t. He held Ben onto him, calling for Rami to come down, quickly handing him the phone so he could see the article, "He'll be fine, he's always fine."

Ben shook his head. This was different. He knew there was a reason he was feeling bad about it. He might've lost him now. "What-What will I do without him?" he hiccupped, sobbing by this point. "Malcolm ca-can't grow up withou-out his papa… he can't be gone."

"He's not gone. He's NOT. He's strong and wouldn't dare do that to you," he tightened his grip, really hoping he was right. "We can get an uber to the nearest hospital, we'll find him there sitting around absolutely fine. Okay?" 

From the looks of those pictures there was no way he'd be fine. Even if he was okay, he wouldn't have walked away unscathed. Joe could hear Rami phoning up an uber as he tried to soothe Ben unsuccessfully.

"Rog… call R-Roger," Ben managed, his voice still cracking as he whimpered. He was trying to breathe properly, but he was having a panic attack at this point. He desperately needed to hear from his older counterpart by now.

Joe called from Ben's phone, not having really known Roger enough to have swapped numbers, he answered on the second ring and was handed back to Ben. 

"Hello Ben. What's up, son?"

"Gwil… he-he left and… our car flipped over on the highway, I-I can't get through." Ben was trying to say coherent sentences, but that's basically what he got out, breaking down in another sob.

"Okay... Ben, please just breathe. We'll be there soon and we can take Malcolm for a few hours," he'd signaled for Brian to go out and start the car, following behind as he started speaking again ,"Go up and hold your baby for a bit until we get there." He nearly said 'try to take your mind off it', but that would be pointless, he hoped Malcolm would calm him a bit though.

"O-Okay… I will. See you then." Ben hung up, looking at Rami. "Where'd you leave Malcolm?" he asked in a shaky whisper. He knew the baby was still awake.

"He's just in the crib, I thought he might fall if I put him anywhere else." He'd ordered up the uber, but if it arrived earlier than Roger he'd be happy to stay and wait with the baby for a few minutes. Well, not happy, given the circumstances.

"Right." Ben got up, heading upstairs. He wandered to the baby's room, scooping him up gently. Ben pulled Malcolm into his arms, cradling him close to his chest and hushing softly. He was more hushing himself, he didn't know what else to do. He was absolutely terrified.

Even with Brian's driving being far calmer than Roger's, they arrived pretty quickly, "Darling, it's okay." He pulled Ben into a hug, feeling him trembling.

"No… no s'not… he's not okay," Ben whimpered. "He-he could be comatose, he could be rendered immobile. He-he could be /dead/ right now."

"Or he could be fine." Brian tried to reason, but he knew it wasn't working.

"Car's here," Rami called.

Ben nodded a bit. He looked at little Malcolm, who'd fallen asleep in his arms. "Right… well..." He wiped his eyes with a little sniff. "I-I've got to go then. See if I can see him."

Roger took Malcolm, hoping for his sake that nothing was wrong. He didn't know how Ben would manage on his own. Only Joe went in the car with Ben so as to not crowd over at the hospital.

They had to go past where the accident happened. The cars had been moved, but the glass and debris were still on the roadside, "Don't look at it, Ben."

Ben kept his face pressed to Joe's chest. He was pretty much clinging to the other at this point, a shaking mess. He couldn't even bear to look, afraid of what blood or other horrors he might see. He kept a hold on Joe's hand as the other led him into the hospital. Ben couldn't do much but listen while Joe explained who they were and asked about Gwil's condition.

Joe listened to the list. At least he was alive. And he'd recover. Broken arm, cracked ribs that had caused some lung problems, several bruised organs, broken collar bone. Basically his right side where the impact threw him against the ground was banged up. And his head from hitting off the window.

"We don't believe there will be any lasting damage. He should wake up soon and we can run further diagnostics... there may be some dizziness, amnesia or nausea - people react differently."

"Can… can I go back and see him?" Ben asked timidly. Hearing all the symptoms just made him feel sick. Gwil was really banged up… the summer theater sounded like it wasn't going to be able to happen for him, on top of everything else.

The nurse smiled kindly, leading them through the ward, leaving them just outside the door. 

"I'll give you a minute, if you want." Joe offered, not sure if Ben needed to be alone or needed a hand to hold.

"Yes… I think I should just go." Ben nodded and gave his hand one more squeeze, before walking inside. He quietly closed the door behind him, looking up at Gwil slowly. His heart broke. Arm casted, head bandaged, face covered with cuts, and God knows what other bruises and wounds Ben couldn't see. Ben's heart was caught in his throat as he walked over, sitting beside the bed. "Oh… oh, love..." He took his other head gently, closing his eyes as tears slipped down his face again.

***

When Gwil first woke up, he felt like he couldn't move, his eyes struggled to open in the brightness of the room, his arms felt like they were tied down and everything felt wrong. When his eyes adjusted, he could see one arm in a cast, the other had a head of blond hair resting on it. He was familiar. He tried to speak, but it came out in rasps that woke the man up.

Ben looked up and squeezed his hand. "Hush… don't try to talk. You're pretty banged up. Just… breathe. Relax." He pushed the nurse button, brushing Gwil's hair back gently. At least he was awake.

Gwil swallowed, trying to gain some voice back, He could vaguely feel the morphine buzz he'd felt years ago after a small operation. Why was he on morphine? Actually, why was he in hospital? "W-what happened?"

"The car flipped on the motorway," Ben explained. "You were on your way home and it flipped. I saw it on the news and came down here. I'm really sorry, love."

"It's okay," he didn't really remember much, but the man did seem so so familiar, "I don't think I caught your name."

"...Ben. Ben Hardy." Ben's heart was broken. There was the amnesia. He didn't remember him. So he wasn't going to remember Malcolm either. Or any of the cast. Or anything about them. "Just focus on getting better. The doctor will be here in a sec." He stood up and stepped back. "I'll see you later."

Gwil really felt like he knew the name, like there was something on the tip of his tongue. But Ben had left, and the nurse came in, running some tests and putting his morphine up. He ended up dozing off before he could ask for him to come back. 

Joe came back with some teas, seeing Ben just outside the ward- that had to mean something had happened. "Did he wake up?"

"Yes… and he doesn't remember anything." Ben took the cup. "He asked me for my name. I didn't bother giving him any other details. I don't want to confuse him, but... amnesia."

"You know amnesia is always temporary, probably with the drugs and everything he's just a bit mixed up," he hoped he was right, but at least the damage wasn't the worst, "If he is still struggling tomorrow, bring Malcolm in. Paternal instinct and all that."

"Yeah. I was gonna bring the little guy anyways." Ben shook his head. "I really don't like this whole situation. Everything was going so well and… well… now this."

Joe hugged him again - but what if Gwil didn't remember, or if he had some personality change due to the injury? "Are you staying here? Or going to Malcolm?"

"I'm going back home." Ben shrugged. "He doesn't want me to stay because he doesn't know me. He's not missing anything. Malcolm needs his mama.'

"I'll phone Brian to come get us, you can... uh... say goodbye." he wasn't sure what more he could do, gently stepping away from Ben and heading out to make the call.

Ben nodded and sighed softly. Great. He wandered into the room again, shyly wandering to the bed. Gwil seemed to be exhausted, and he didn't blame him. "Well… I'm gonna head home," he said slowly. "But I'll see you tomorrow?"

Gwil's head was swimming with the medication - not really aware of much, but he wasn't feeling the pain as much as before, "M'kay... Ben's with... Bug... lov... n' the bump..."

"Yeah… Yeah, babe." Ben squeezed his hand with a little smile. "I'm gonna go home and take care of Bug." He kissed his temple gently. "Just go back to sleep, okay?"

Gwil woke up a few times in the night when the medicine was running low and he could feel the damage. He started to piece together what he knew, Ben had visited. But wasn't Ben pregnant? Maybe he just didn't notice. What if he'd been in the car too? He said there had been a crash. Had they lost the baby?

Fuck, it was all his fault. He could hear beeping getting closer and closer together, a voice trying to talk to him. He could feel the hot tears running down his face, their baby died in that crash and it was his fault.

Ben spent the night awake. Roger and Brian had stayed, bless them. They were looking after him a bit, making sure he had a little food and at least tried to rest when he wasn't tending to Malcolm. He decides he would definitely bring the little one to see Gwil the next day. He had a bit of breakfast in the morning before they headed back to the hospital. Ben had Malcolm in his arms as he walked upstairs, timidly knocking before walking in. 

"Gwil?" He approached the bed.

Gwil heard his name, it had to be Ben. Had he come to blame him? "M'sorry Ben. So sorry." He squinted his eyes open, seeing a tiny baby, now he was very confused. Who's was the baby? Was Ben trying to taunt him?

Ben smiled and walked over, sitting down. "Bug wanted to come see his papa. This is Malcolm… he's our son, Gwil." He shifted Malcolm gently. Malcolm could look up at Gwil now, and he immediately recognized him, reaching a tiny hand out to him.

"I don't understand, you were just pregnant," it felt so natural to reach out and grab the baby's hand. Too natural. He shifted his good arm to take the baby as much as he could, letting him reach out to the beard. That was familiar. "He's my baby? He's alive."

"Yes… I guess you don't remember that bit." He smiled a little and watched Malcolm, who certainly remembered. Very happy about it too. "He's so happy to see that you're alright. But he's over six weeks old now."

"Did I miss it? Or do I just not remember," he remembered not recognising Ben yesterday, so maybe he'd come round to everything. Or maybe he'd been in a coma or something and missed it all. "...Ceri?"

"Yes. Malcolm Ceri Lee." Ben nodded, his smile growing. "I know it's in you. You have the memories. You're gonna get them back."

"It's just frustrating," he pulled Malcolm up to his chest, nuzzling into the baby. Even that small weight didn't feel good on his ribs, but he didn't really care. The medicine was running on the low and would need topping up. "I want to go home."

Malcolm cooed and gurgled softly, quite happy to be cuddled by his papa. Ben had to smile a little, though he did really feel bad for Gwil. "I don't know when you can come home," he replied softly. "You were injured pretty severely. You probably need some time."

"Maybe in a few weeks or so, that's what the nurse said," he planted a kiss on the baby's head. Since he could still walk, they were really just waiting to make sure the ribs didn't damage the lungs any further. "I'm sorry about last night. I didn't know you and I can't imagine what that was like for you."

"At least you were okay," he assured him. "I was panicking when I saw the accident on the news, saw Malcolm's car seat in the road and knew the plates. I thought… I thought you'd been killed for sure.”

"You're not getting rid of me that easily," he made sure Malcolm was well balanced on him before he reached out to grab Ben's hand. He noticed the ring then. Something else he couldn't bloody remember. "Was there an argument? I remember yelling but I don't feel like anything actually happened." Had he said something and it could have been the last thing he ever said.

Ben chuckled softly, shaking his head. "We were playing a prank on Rami and had a pretend argument. You even pretended to leave in anger, but you were just going to buy snacks for our movie night."

"Thank Christ," he smiled, trying not to laugh too much. At least it had just been bad luck. Gwil's expression sobered up, the morphine had reached its minimum with a beep, but he wanted to be aware so he didn't call anyone to sort it. "I couldn't remember if you had been in the car or not, or if you were still pregnant. I thought you and Bug hadn't... made it. Before the ambulance arrived, I couldn't turn to look or hear anything."

"Oh, love." Ben leaned down, kissing his lips briefly. "I wish I could make it better. But we're gonna be right there to tend to you, every step of the way' sorry. I'm really sorry that you've had to go through this.

"Don't worry about me. It could've been much worse. I might not have been able to see Malcolm grow up," his son cooed right in his ear as he said that, as if he was arguing too. Not that he knew what was going on. "But I am. And I love you both too much." He sat himself up as much as he could with a baby in his only good arm. "Where's everyone else at?"

"At our house." Ben brushed Gwil's hair back gently. "I'm sure they'd love an update. You want them to pop by? I know Rog and Brian were pretty nervous."

"That'd be nice," he felt happy, in a strange way, to know that they had a little network of people they could turn to if something happened. "Hopefully I'm not here too long."

"Yeah. I'll send them all a text and let them know. They'll probably have to bring a few things for Malcolm anyways. Oh, and are you up for any food? They can bring that along as well." Ben sat on the edge of the bed, typing out a message.

"Food would be much appreciated, I think I slept through breakfast," he rested his hand on Ben's knee, about as far as he could reach. He wasn't sure how much longer he could go without painkillers, but he was managing for now, "Probably a change of clothes too, I don't really like the hospital gown."

"Well I don't know if they'll give you that choice… but we can try." Ben kissed his cheek. "What're you hungry for? I'll have them bring over whatever you fancy.'

"Honestly just a cheese sandwich and some tomato soup would be lovely," he didn't feel like anything fancy. "I'll just about eat anything right now."

"I'll pass that along." Ben sent it onto Joe, who'd pass it on to the other three. "They should be here within the hour, dear."

"That's grand," he leaned his head onto Malcolm's, not putting too much weight on the baby. He'd dozed off on his chest, lancing a chubby little arm onto his injured collar, making Gwil wince. "Could you eh...? I mean I hate to break up the cuddles but he's not lying in the best place."

"I got him." Ben gently scooped Malcolm up. It made him whine at first, but a bit of a bounce got him settled asleep on Ben in seconds. "You'll be well enough for tickles and playtime before you know it."

"I hope so, I kinda feel useless right now. They said I'll get a sling and arm cast for about six weeks after this," which meant he was still going to be fairly dependant, particularly since it was his dominant hand. "And I guess I should behave myself with the ribs."

"You better, or they'll have to rebreak them." Ben shook his head. "We're gonna be looking after you. Don't try and lift a finger till you're better, understand? And don't be shy to speak up when you need something, anything."

"Yes sir," he did a mock salute, but smiled - genuinely appreciating the gesture. 

True to their word, less than an hour later, familiar voices could be heard approaching the ward. "You look terrible." Joe greeted them with.

"Rude." Ben elbowed Joe, shaking his head. "But anyways, glad you came around. Who's got lunch?" 

"That'd be me." Roger set the foam container and bag of sandwiches now. "But it seems like you'll need to be spoon fed." 

"Are you gonna do it, dad?" Brian teased, poking his arm. 

"No, but I'm more than willing to take that little one off Ben's hands while he tends to his future husband."

"I mean spoiler alert, Brian. I hadn't remembered the proposal yet," Gwil jokes, but he had noticed the ring so it was pretty obvious what had happened. The others made themselves at home, mostly cooing over Malcolm who was tangling his hands in Brian's hair. Ben got the soup out and sat on the bed again.

"Please don't to the aeroplane thing." Gwil joked.

"I'll save that for Malcolm," Ben promised, gently spooning a bite into his mouth. He'd alternate with the sandwich, making sure he got both flavors as he would have wanted.

"He's got a strong grip," Roger mused. "I bet we have a little drummer here."

"That'd be brilliant," Rami laughed, "Let's teach him how to make lots of noise."

"You're welcome to teach him," Gwil said between bites, "Might end up regretting that decision." Little kids loved making a fuss, but one with drums might be a nightmare.

"He's still welcome to lessons anytime." Roger bounced him gently, while Malcolm looked over the group. It was a lot of people at once. Not that he was upset, he loved the attention, it was just hard to pay attention back. "You guys are definitely stimulating his tiny brain," he cooed.

"He's such a clever little thing," Brian took the baby's hand. "He's managing to track pretty well, especially his parents."

Gwil smiled at that, he was pretty sure he could remember everything, not the premier or the day of the crash, but they were slowly coming back. Not that he wanted to remember more of the crash than he already did. "Yeah, we made sure to read and talk to him loads."

"Even before he was born," Ben added. "Little bundle of joy. He is so loved, honestly, as he should be." 

"Well now we have new bets to place." Joe looked him over. "First sleep through the night, first word, all the good stuff.'

There was a fairly collective eye roll before the room broke out into (friendly) argument about it. 

"First sleep eight months, first word at ten months and he'll say mommy." Rami said his bet, noticing Joe was actually writing them down.

Brian spoke up next "I reckon you'll be lucky and he'll sleep and talk earlier on, so I'm saying five months for the sleep, and nine for the word. It'll depend on whether he's a mummy's boy or a daddy's boy as to what he says."

Malcolm's eyes darted around the room. This was getting him a bit excited, feet starting to shuffle as he huffed softly. Roger noticed, rubbing his chest a bit as he chimed in. "First word, six months, sleep through the night at seven, and first word...no, plain and simple."

"Not that I condone this, but first word dog at seven months, sleep at nine." Gwil added, smiling at his son.

"Oh hush, you," Ben tutted, feeding him another bite of the soup. 

"I think he may be getting just a bit overwhelmed," Roger noted, as the little one was starting to whine a little. He gently started rocking him back and forth, still rubbing his chest.

They quietened down, letting Malcolm settle easier into Roger's hold. Gwil was given the last of his lunch, beginning to struggle without the meds now he'd been off for nearly 2 hours. "Thanks babe."

"You're welcome, love." Ben kissed his lips, tossing the empty containers in the trash. "Now you'll just need some more rest. Malcolm will need a feed soon, and then a nap himself. You need the nurse or anything?'

"No... I'm fine," he'd get something after everyone left- he was planning to ask if he could get a shower too, but he was worried Ben might fret or stress too much if he saw the bruising that made it look worse than it was. "Just getting a tad achey."

"Alright." Ben rubbed his head softly, brushing back his hair with his fingers. "You're going to be alright… I promise. We'll all help you get better, any way we can...and thanks, guys, for helping us with Bug and all." Ben glanced back at the group. 

"Our pleasure, dears," Roger promised. Malcolm had all but fallen asleep on him now.

"You two are basically our children, couldn't leave you to cope yourself," Brian gave Ben a pat on the back, finding a blanket out of the bag for Malcolm. When Roger had first told him about the crash, it had sounded like it was too late, and that had been unbearable. "But we'll have to leave soon when visiting hours are over."

"It's alright." Ben nodded. "Best if Malcolm goes home to his nursery and all. Obviously, anything in the house, you have access to, fridge, tv, computer, whatever you need, and you can call if you have an issue. I'm gonna see if they'll let me stay here on the cot."

"Ben, darling, you don't need to do that. I can manage on my own and you'll be more comfortable at home with Mally." Gwil argued, not wanting Ben to end up with a bad back or Malcolm to miss both his parents.

Ben shook his head. 'For better or worse, love. Emmy will be fine with his four, very qualified.... two very qualified and two not as qualified babysitters. I have bottles in the fridge, pumped and ready to be warmed up for him. He can see me tomorrow”.

Gwil doubted Ben was going to take any excuses, and he actually wanted the company: the previous night had been hell alone. The others stayed for as long as they could eventually saying their goodbyes and good nights. Gwil had Malcolm again "Night, night Mally." He kissed at his cheek, earning a tiny grabby hand to the chin.

"Yes, goodnight love." Ben smiled and nodded, watching them cuddle. He took a little picture of it too, making a small boomerang of Malcolm's tiny hand reaching at his papa's beard. He carefully took Malcolm after that, giving him a little kiss goodbye before handing him to Brian. "You got him."

"I got him. We'll text after dinner and bedtime, probably first thing as well, but you can expect us as soon as we can in the morning." Brian lay Malcolm on the spare cot to put a little jumper on him. "Take care, kids." He waved the baby's arm as the four of them made their departure, saying their goodbyes.

"Bye."


	29. Chapter 29

Ben settled back in his chair, looking over at Gwil. "Now, you need some pain medication so you can fall back asleep, mister. I know you were staying coherent for company, but there's a reason you were so doped up earlier."

"Okay, but let me get a wash in quick," he couldn't get the cast on his arm wet, but he could take off the one for his collar as long as he was careful and it didn't last for long. Everything else was just a case of being cautious when moving. "I'm meant to call someone to get the cut on my head redressed after getting it wet."

"Don't they have to… sponge bathe you or something? I don't think you're meant to get in an actual shower." Ben didn't really fancy the idea himself, but Gwil seemed too delicate, to him, to be actually showering, even standing up that long.

"I'll be honest; I couldn't really keep track of the instructions. But the bathrooms got disabled facilities and I was more or less just gonna use a damp towel." He took Ben’s hand, toying with the ring, "don't worry too much, my love."

"I can't help it. You really… really scared me there, you know. I was a mess." Ben didn't want Gwil to ever have to see him that hysterical. Yes, he'd seen him in labor, but that was a different ordeal and scenario.

"I know... I'm sorry," it wasn't anyone's fault, but he knew Ben was hiding most of the stress, "but it's alright to tell me, I'm not gonna judge you." He kissed his knuckles as he brought them towards his lips.

Ben smiled softly, shaking his head. "I was basically having a panic attack, couldn't stop crying. Joe and Rami couldn't help, I could hardly speak to Roger on the phone… he convinced me to go give Malcolm a little snuggle. He's the one that calmed me down."

Gwil squeezed his hand gently "I wish I'd been able to tell you I was okay, or at least to pass the message on," he couldn't imagine what it must've felt like to get that news, "I think you were incredibly strong."

"And so were you." Ben gently rested his other hand on Gwil's cheek, brushing his thumb over the stubble. "I'm so glad you're okay, though. I didn't want to think about bringing little Malcolm up without you. To be honest, I probably wouldn't have taken my ring off. I can't imagine settling for less than you.”

If he had... died, he would've wanted Ben to be happy - even if it was with someone else. But he couldn't help but feel his heart burst with morbid pride that Ben would've honoured his memory. "I don't deserve you, you know that? But I'm glad I'm still here to marry you and to see Bug grow up." He leaned into the touch.

"Yes. I mean… at least having you laying around and resting, you'll have more time to think about that stuff as well." Ben played with his hair gently. "You're going to be such a picture, all suited up for the wedding and all."

"Nevermind me, I can't wait to see how stunning you look, to be able to hold you as we shuffle along our first dance, and kiss you and call you husband," he kissed at Ben's wrist and palm, putting his good arm back on the blond's knee.

"It'll be magical," Ben mused, blushing softly at the compliment. "And just imagine how precious Bug will look, all dolled up in the wedding colors. What if we let him be the little ring bearer? Joe can carry him up with a cushion or something."

"That would be amazing," Malcolm would almost definitely be talking by then, so he'd be babbling 'mama' and 'dada' when he saw them. "I'm gonna try to get up."

"Okay… right." Ben was ready to press the nurse call button. He stayed beside the bed, ready to catch him or help hold him up. The last thing he needed was a fall.

Gwil managed to sit up, using Ben to pull himself off the bed. He walked slowly to the bathroom, stopping when his side hurt, but then continuing until he reached the waterproof stool next to the low sink. Gwil began taking off the head bandage, then getting to the Velcro clips on the sling. "You don't have to help, the bruising and cuts aren't gonna be a nice sight." Plus the wounds would probably bleed a little with the water.

"I don't care. I'm still gonna be here." Ben set the sling aside. He kissed his forehead carefully. "In sickness and health, isn't it? I'll not let you do this by yourself."

“You're too good to me," he knew fine well he wasn't a very good patient, and he really didn't deserve the kindness Ben offered, but he was so grateful. He pulled the tie at his neck that held the gown on (since he wasn't injured from the waist down he still had boxers on). "Thank you, so much... For everything."

"It's my pleasure, dear." Ben tugged the gown away. He'd have to see if theyd be able to get him a fresh one too. Carefully, he helped Gwil clean up, as gentle as he could possibly be. He rinsed him with little cupfuls of water, then softly patted him dry with a towel. "I'm gonna ask the nurse if we can get another gown, one a bit cleaner."

They called a nurse, who changed the sheets and gave Gwil a new gown to change into. He had the dressing on any cuts that needed it reapplied before he was hooked up to a high enough dose to sleep through the night. The nurse left them to settle in. 

"Goodnight, babe."

"Goodnight, darling." Ben kissed Gwilym's head sweetly. He held his good hand, stretching out on the cot beside Gwil. He was asleep in no time, with just that little touch.

Perhaps it was that Ben was there, holding his hand through the night, but he slept the whole time. Gwil still woke up muddled, but he had a feeling he hadn't forgotten anything, and he was slightly more mobile than yesterday. Still couldn't sit up for long, but he had more movement in his neck. He squeezed Ben's hand to wake him up, knowing the others were coming soon.

Ben stirred a bit. He rubbed his eyes with his other hand, looking over at Gwil. Ben managed a sleepy smile. "Morning, sunshine," he said softly, leaning over and giving him a gentle kiss on the lips.

Gwil kissed back lightly, adjusting the bed so he was more propped up. "G'morning, How'd you sleep?" Gwil smiled, trying to act less dopey than he was.

"Pretty well, all things considered." Ben nodded and sat up, stretching his arms and back a bit. "How about yourself? Seems like it wasn't enough.

"Not bad. I think knowing you were safe and next to me helped," he took a sip of water from his bedside table. "How's Bug getting on with his grandparents? They updated you yet?"

"Well, he went to bed about eight, then woke up at one and four for changes and bottles." Ben shook his head. "Hectic little thing. I believe he's asleep right now, and Brian's gone on a morning run. He said when he got back he'd wake the others and bring us some breakfast."

"Can't really believe he's still running and cycling at his age," Gwil had to admire him for that, he really did just keep going. "At least Malcolm had a calm night, it wouldn't have been good if he'd wanted one of us and we weren't there."

"Yeah, he's fairly attached to Bri and Roger it seems." Ben looked over at him, brushing his hair back a bit. He let his fingers slip down and brush over his beard. "You're getting that lovely facial hair back that I love so dearly," he purred.

Gwil smiled, nudging into the touches that made him feel better just like that. "I'm worried to shave it in case Mally doesn't recognise me."

"I don't think that'll happen." Ben shook his head. "You're his daddy. Of course he'll recognize you."

"I hope so, otherwise he'll be wondering who the silly looking git is," he was trying to over enunciate to hide the effect of the drugs, hoping he would be off them by the following day, "he seems to have started knowing our voices now, even Brian and Roger's too."

"Yes. Well, I mean, and we've been talking to him since he was still growing in me," Ben added. "He's gotten to know us for a bit longer than just being around. But I'm glad he's attaching to his other grandparents."

"Yeah, shame about the biological grandparents not being as... Present." Or down right non existent in the case of the Jones family. Saying that, the Lees hadn't put much effort into visiting, but he guessed his dad still needed to thaw a bit before he came round to the idea. "And he's got the best uncles too."

"Yes, definitely." Ben was much less bothered by all that because of the support system they had. He stayed close to Gwil the entire morning, looking after him, and then Bug when he had the chance last on. That would be the routine until they were let out of the hospital.

Gwil was kept in the hospital for 8 days in total, mostly because they had to check his balance and motor skills were intact. On the final day Brian came round with his car to pick them up, driving them home to where the others waited "It's good to be back."

"Good to have you back, love." Ben held his good hand. He'd not left Gwil's side, save taking a few showers, but he'd made sure that someone else was there at that time. He was more than happy to have him back home, where he belonged. 

"I'm sure the little Bug's gonna be happy to have daddy and mummy back in the house," Brian added. "It's been fun looking after him, but we know who he's happiest with."

"I can't wait to simply cuddle up with him," he loved everyone around him dearly and was beyond grateful for all they had done. But he was looking forward to just watching a film on the couch with Ben and Bug. "It's comforting to know that if something did happen to Ben or myself that he would still be in a loving atmosphere."

"Of course," Brian assured him. "Malcolm's never gonna have to worry about anything. There'll always be a bunch of us there to tend to him and make him feel loved."

Gwil nodded his appreciation, seeing the house approaching. Brian parked, the three of them getting out and heading inside, instantly being met with Malcolm squealing from Joe's arms.

"There's our boy," Ben cooed, scooping Malcolm from Joe's hold. He nuzzled his nose gently, then peppered his cheeks and head with kisses, earning him happy gurgles from the little one. "Yes, mummy's home, and so's papa." Ben turned to Malcolm to see Gwil. Malcolm's eyes lit up. He reached up at him, babbling softly and smiling as much as he could for his age. It was almost a perfect smile by now, just a bit more practice. Ben waited till Gwil was on the sofa to hand Malcolm over. He made sure his fiance was supported by pillows and carefully laid Malcolm in Gwil's good arm. The baby was still thrilled, tiny fingers petting along his father's facial hair.

"I don't know who shaving would upset more, him or you," he pressed Malcolm against him so he could let the baby nuzzle into him without putting pressure on anywhere sore. Malcolm made a sort of long drawn out noise, probably because he was happy. 

"Probably Malcolm." Joe added, interpreting the noise as an argument.

"I'd reckon so." Ben kissed his cheek, watching the baby sort of catch Gwil up on what he'd missed. Most of it was tiny little sounds, sometimes just looks, but Ben was just melting. 

"Seems like our work here is done." Roger gave Ben's shoulder a squeeze. "Cheers, dears. And keep us updated." 

"Of course we will." Ben nodded. "And let us know if we can ever do anything for you either."

Roger and Brian went home, promising to visit in a few days. Joe stayed for some coffee before heading out himself. Rami had stayed at Lucy's with Frankie, so he'd visit the following day to drop the puppy off. All in all it was a quiet evening after that, settling down for some take away, "We really got to book them a restaurant or a show or something to say thanks."

"We really do." Ben nodded. "When you've recovered, we'll host something for them. Find out what place they could all agree on."

"We've got time to look into it," Gwil squeezed Ben's hand as they sat across from each other eating dinner. He really had missed this, even if it had just been a week and he'd seen them every day. Made him wonder what it would be like if he did a film when Malcolm was older.

Ben smiled happily and held it back. It really was something special. Being a family; Sort of a whole new world, honestly. It was eventful, in some ways, but also calm, domestic...it was exactly what he needed, even if he didn't know until he had it. He wouldn't give it up for the world now.


End file.
